A day after warning Russia in a tweet that “missiles will be coming” to Syria, President Trump said on Twitter that an airstrike was not necessarily imminent.
Last night, the portraits of Washington and Jefferson quietly snuck out of the White House. - Conan O'Brien
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- France and UK prepare Syria response as Assad warns West to stay out
- Chemical Weapons Team Is On Its Way To Syria, Watchdog Group Says
- Skripals poisoned with nerve agent, chemical arms watchdog confirms
- Pompeo blames tensions with Moscow on 'Russia's bad behavior'
"All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - George Orwell
Of Course Trump Is Friends With The Owner Of A Sleazy Tabloid Rag That Is Now Under Investigation
President Trump has long had ties to the nation’s major media players. But his connections with the country’s largest tabloid publisher, American Media Inc., run deeper than most.
President Trump today criticized special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation saying there is "no collusion or obstruction other than I fight back." Hold on, no obstruction other than I fight back? Fighting back against an investigation is obstruction. That's like saying no infidelity other than I sleep with porn stars. Only Trump would try to obstruct justice and confess to it in the same tweet. - Seth Myers
On #HolocaustRemembranceDay, Donald Trump remembers the good people on both sides. - Paul Soloman
Republican Shenanigans
- Trump warned not to fire Mueller by former US ethics chief: 'Our forefathers were smarter than you and they planned for you'
- Inside the GOP plan to discredit Comey
- $30,000 rumor? Tabloid paid for, spiked, salacious Trump tip
- Scott Pruitt reportedly wants to mint EPA coins that symbolize himself
- Bannon pitching plan to WH on what Trump should do in Russia probe
- Another national security official departs Trump administration as John Bolton cleans house
- Former Texas Congressman Steve Stockman found guilty of 23 felonies
- Michael Cohen: My wife 'didn't sign up for this'
- Missouri House To Consider Impeaching Gov. Eric Greitens
- Trump judicial nominee refuses to say if landmark civil rights opinion was correctly decided
- Federal judges indicate they could remove Mulvaney as acting CFPB chief
House Speaker Paul Ryan said he is not seeking re-election because he wants to spend more time with his kids. Ryan said, "As a dad, there comes a time when you want to be there to take away their healthcare IN PERSON."- Conan O'Brien
Paul Ryan is stepping down and looks forward to pretending it's possible to worship both Jesus & Ayn Rand in the private sector. - John Fugelsang
35 Sets Of Subpoenas? 35?
Prosecutors from special counsel Robert Mueller's office have obtained 35 sets of subpoenas to call witnesses for Paul Manafort's bank and tax fraud trial set to begin in a Virginia federal court in July, court records show.
Former House Speaker John Boehner has joined the board of a marijuana company and today he said his "thinking on cannabis has evolved." That can only mean really one thing: His grandson showed him how to use a bong.- Conan O'Brien
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Senators should reject Mike Pompeo’s nomination to be Secretary of State. He denies the climate crisis, and has been doing the bidding for fossil fuel interests his whole career. The American people deserve better.- Al Gore
Rock The Voter News
- Obama Beats Trump As Most Admired Man In Every Country – Except Russia
- Hillary Clinton in Chicago today
- California to send National Guard to border, but governor says they won't be there to support DC policies
It was reported that President Trump is doing nothing right now but angrily fuming, eating, and watching TV. In other words, it sounds like Trump is turning into a Trump voter.- Conan O'Brien
Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt routinely directed staffers to book expensive hotels, help him earn frequent flier miles and schedule meetings to align with his personal travel desires, a former top staffer told congressional investigators.
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According to reports, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg sat on a four-inch-thick cushion to boost his height during his Senate testimony yesterday. Zuckerberg was like, "Oh, no, that's my wallet."- Seth Myers
Business/Tech News
- Strong demand, not OPEC, is pushing oil prices higher
- Lawmakers Say Trump Exploring Rejoining Pacific Trade Talks
- What you need to know about the E. coli outbreak that has now spread to 7 states
- Tesla Was Kicked Off Fatal Crash Probe by NTSB
- Madoff Victims Get Another $500 Million From Recovery Efforts
Mark Zuckerberg completed day two of his congressional testimony about security breaches. Things got a little tense when Zuckerberg referred to each senator by their PIN number.- Conan O'Brien
Buy Your Very Own Sears Store Online!
More than a dozen of Sears Holdings' stores are being auctioned online.
Commercial real estate services firm Cushman & Wakefield is teaming with Real Insight Marketplace, an online bidding platform, to help unwind some of the department store chain's assets.
DEA officials have seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside Disney figurines, which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth. - Conan O'Brien
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