All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Today is #NationalHugANewsPersonDay. I chose...

CNNI's Arwa Damon who was recently in the Antarctica on an assignment after years of riveting coverage of the war zones in the Middle East and beyond. I bet she needed that change of climate.

You go girl.

I also chose Will Ripley at CNNI for his outstanding reporting on North Korea. A gentleman journalist.

Thank you.

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Trump isn't a criminal target in the Mueller investigation — yet
..."In private negotiations in early March about a possible presidential interview, Mueller described Trump as a subject of his investigation into Russia's interference in the 2016 election. Prosecutors view someone as a subject when that person has engaged in conduct that is under investigation but there is not sufficient evidence to bring charges.
"The special counsel also told Trump's lawyers that he is preparing a report about the president's actions while in office and potential obstruction of justice, according to two people with knowledge of the conversations.

*Me praying on knees* Please hurry Mr. Mueller!

French President Emmanuel Macron said in a new interview that artificial intelligence could totally jeopardize democracy if left unchecked. But at this point, I'd be willing to try President Roomba.- Seth Myers

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Vladimir Putin could soon be coming to America. During their phone call last month — the one where Trump wasn't supposed to congratulate Putin — not only did Trump congratulate him, he invited his KG-BFF to a summit at the White House. It’s about time he invited the boss over for dinner.
So, this will be a nice opportunity for Putin to stop by and install a few new Nest cameras in the White House. - Jimmy Kimmel

Trump To Send National Guard To The Border
President Trump will soon sign an order to deploy National Guard troops to the United States' southern border, Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen announced Wednesday.

According to the Financial Times, the Russian businessman who secretly met with a Trump campaign official in January 2017 has been tied directly to Vladimir Putin. Hey, Robert Mueller, how much more evidence do you need? I'm starting to feel like a little kid screaming at “Dora the Explorer” that the windmill she's looking for is right behind her. "Turn around!"- Seth Myers

Republican Shenanigans

Trump Escalates Trade War
The Trump administration has raised the stakes in a growing trade showdown with China by placing 25% tariffs on some 1,300 industrial technology, transport and medical products to try to force changes in Beijing’s intellectual property practices.

The president officially declared the month of April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. At this point he's just messing with us, right? He might as well declare it National Bankrupt Casino Awareness Month.- Jimmy Kimmel

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50 years ago today, the world lost a hero. But we didn't lose his message of unity. #MLK50 - Ellen DeGeneres

Rock The Voter News

CNN: Today marks 50 years since MLK’s death.
NBC: Today marks 50 years since MLK’s death.
Fox News: Today marks 50 years since MLK’s death which could have been prevented if he had been carrying a gun. Up next, why is there no white MLK?- OhNoSheTwint

Hillary Warns Us 'The Worst Is Yet To Come'
Hillary Clinton addressed the ongoing #MeToo women’s rights movement Tuesday night, saying that she believed it still would have happened if she were elected president in 2016. “I believe that it was a wave that was building and building,” she said. “I think that my losing probably accelerated that wave, but the wave was coming.”

After seeing how Ivanka is treated in the press, I’m so grateful I decided against hiring my daughter then asking her to constantly lie for me. - Conan O'Brien

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Amazon Denies it Was Taunting Trump by Shipping Bone Spur Ointment to White House- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

Today I sent Mark Zuckerberg my entire medical history just to save him some time.- Albert Brooks

60 Minutes Cut Trump's Genitalia
The lawyer for film actress Stormy Daniels claimed Wednesday that CBS left a clip of his client describing President Trump's genitalia out of her "60 Minutes" interview last month because "they’re a conservative network."

The Antichrist came to my party this weekend and turned all the wine into water. Hate that guy.- John Fugelsang

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Tuesday, April 3, 2018

The Latinos Are Coming! The Latinos Are Coming!

Trump threatens Honduras' foreign aid over migrant caravan
"The big Caravan of People from Honduras, now coming across Mexico and heading to our 'Weak Laws' Border, had better be stopped before it gets there. Cash cow NAFTA is in play, as is foreign aid to Honduras and the countries that allow this to happen. Congress MUST ACT NOW!" Trump tweeted

George Soros is driving the caravan from Honduras. - Tony Posnanski

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Putin wants the old USSR back, and danged if Trump ain't tryin' to give it to him. - Tea Pain

Trump To Send Troops To U.S. Border. Is That Legal?
President Donald Trump on Tuesday revealed that he would send troops to the U.S. border and said that a so-called “caravan” of migrants made him “very sad.”
During remarks from the Cabinet Room, Trump spoke about his plan to secure the border in lieu of a sprawling border wall.
“We are going to be guarding our border with our military. That’s a big step,”

The Manafort Squeeze Continues...
Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein told special counsel Robert Mueller in a classified August 2, 2017, memo that he should investigate allegations that President Donald Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort was "colluding with Russian government officials" to interfere in the 2016 presidential election, prosecutors in the Russia probe revealed late Monday night.

Bob Mueller is an F5 twister headed straight for the Trump trailer park.- Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

TRUMP LAWYER: "Your honor, this case will make our client's ability to run the country worse."
JUDGE: "That would be impossible. Motion denied."
- Mrs. Betty Bowers

The shooting at YouTube HQ in San Bruno is the 58th mass shooting of 2018.

This has to stop. - Kaivan Shroff

Boob Removes Boob Info
A webpage that focused on breast cancer was reportedly scrubbed from the website of the Department of Health and Human Services's (HHS) Office on Women's Health (OWH).
The changes on WomensHealth.gov — which include the removal of material on insurance for low-income people

Last week with Laura Ingraham, Ted Nugent, and Frank Stallone attacking a teenager on Twitter, who survived a mass shooting...
I once again want to commend Melania Trump on her amazing Anti- Cyber Bulling campaign...
HELLUVA JOB FLOTUS! - Tony Posnanski

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Rock The Voter News

CNN: Happy Easter!
NBC: Happy Easter!
Fox News: This morning we’ll examine the role Hillary played in Jesus’ death. - OhNoSheTwint

Millions Saddened That Chinese Space Station Did Not Fall On Ted Nugent - Andy Borowitz

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If you lost money today trading in Amazon stock or any other security, and you know of anyone who knowingly or recklessly made a false public statement about that company or its stock, causing your losses, you should contact a securities lawyer today. - Richard W. Painter

Business/Tech News

Sinclair TV anchor suddenly begins reading news in Russian. - Andy Borowitz

Media Company Tells Employees Not To Talk To Media
Employees at KATU News in Portland, Oregon—an affiliate of Sinclair Broadcast Group—received a memo Monday on how to handle press inquiries regarding the fake news promos that included an ominous warning about speaking with reporters.

Someone should probably mention to Republicans that Jesus is history’s most famous liberal. - The Hoarse Whisperer

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Monday, April 2, 2018

Fired FBI Director, James Comey Writes A Book

Lordy, Tickets to James Comey's Book Tour Are Going for $850
James Comey's upcoming book, for which he received a $2 million advance, achieved best-seller status a month before its release. If that wasn't a clear enough indication that people are eager to hear what the former FBI director has to say, then this surely is: Tickets for his book tour are going for as much ...

The president is crying on the internet again. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

New documents show that former Trump deputy campaign chairman Rick Gates communicated with a former Russian spy before the election, who "has ties to a Russian intelligence service and had such ties in 2016." And I'm guessing this spy is still on Putin's good side because, as of show time, no one had served him a nerve gas burrito.- Stephen Colbert

Trump Slaps Russian Sanctions In The Face
President Donald Trump has formally invited Russian President Vladimir Putin to a meeting at the White House, despite the continued furor over Russia’s alleged poisoning of an ex-Russian spy in the United Kingdom.

When Trump said neither he nor anyone in his campaign had anything to do with Russians, it must have slipped his mind that his campaign manager and his deputy campaign manager were in communication with a Russian intelligence agent. I guess it’s just another mulligan. - Rob Reiner

Laura Ingraham Trolls Parkland Shooting Survivor Then Goes On Vacay!
Right-wing commentator Laura Ingraham has taken a week off as host of her Fox News television show after more than a dozen companies said they will pull advertisements from her program... Laura Ingraham mocked a school shooting survivor who has become a vocal advocate for gun control policies.

No movement on gun control. But “Congress is passing a bill to prohibit putting dogs in overhead bins.” Morons. - Bette Midler

Hey, TIME, great cover art!

Jesus cared for people with disabilities, trump makes fun of them. -JJ

Republican Shenanigans

My favorite Bible story has to be the one where Jesus basically told DACA recipients to suck it and jetted off to Galilee-a-Lago for a weekend of golf. - Jeff Tiedrich

Woman who grabs her own pussy while singing the National Anthem is praised by Trump, an admitted pussy grabber.

Makes sense to me.

Roseanne doing what 99% of women wouldn't do.

The whole Stormy deal is a squalid side show. But watching her very sharp, audacious, media-savvy hot dog of a lawyer joyfully torment Trump-world, it occurs to me that he’s giving them a taste of their own medicine. - David Axelrod

Newspeak Has Arrived At Sinclair Broadcasting
Sinclair Broadcast Group's corporate mandates are exacerbating tensions between the company's local stations and its management.
Journalists in local US markets are chafing at the company's requirements, including a new promotional campaign that echoes President Donald Trump's anti-media rhetoric.
The promos, first reported by CNNMoney last month, went viral over the weekend after Deadspin edited dozens of them together to show how anchors across the country were told to read the same script.

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I love the way all the media folk are getting the vapors over the so-called “boycott.” Advertisers are not contractually obligated to fund hate, bullying and venom. - Karoli

Email
Subject: Media

Hi Lisa.
Thoughts -- Trump was the manipulator of the media in NYC for decades. Not anymore. Since he can't control the media he calls whatever he wants FAKE NEWS! Even my fav news station CNN, has these right wing *ss kissers on. IMHO Trump is setting up the public to not believe the Mueller investigation. Trump's base already believes anything he dribbles from his mouth. Comey is coming out with a book. What?
I live in NYC and watched this idiot for decades. He's unpredictable!!! And crazy!!!
Thank you for the humor relief. It helps a lot. Happy Easter!!!
Meg

Thanks for writing.

I believe that reporters and the FBI, all law enforcement for that matter, have much in common. Both search for the facts of a case. It sickens me how both professions have been besmirched. But facts are facts and even Comey realized that he had nothing on Hillary, so what did he do? He interfered in the 2016 election, not once, but twice. That had never been done before. IMHO Comey hurt the reputation of the FBI with that act. And now he's coming out with a book? Ay yi yi.

I often wonder what Robert Mueller thought of what Comey did during the election.

I agree, Meg, CNN needs to raise the bar on hiring right wing analysts, if that is even possible.

Keep the faith. Mueller has already begun kicking the money changers (launderers) out of the White House.

With Fox as state run TV and Rosanne spouting insane conspiracy theories, truth in journalism is fighting gale force headwinds. Democracy will not survive if ignorance becomes currency. - Rob Reiner

Costa Rica also elected as vice president,
Epsy Campbell Barr who will be the first female,
in the country's history, to hold the position.

Costa Rica Elected A Pro-Gay Rights President Instead Of An Evangelical DoDo Bird On Easter Sunday!
The centre-left’s Carlos Alvarado Quesada decisively defeated a conservative Protestant singer in Costa Rica’s presidential runoff election on Sunday by promising to allow gay marriage, protecting the country’s reputation for tolerance.

Its that time of year again folks when the tan suit scandal of Spring 2012 rocked a nation and left us questioning our own survival as a people

Rock The Voter News

Amal Clooney Goes To Bat For Jailed Reuters Reporters
Prominent human rights lawyer Amal Clooney has joined the legal team representing two Reuters reporters jailed in Myanmar, who are accused of possessing secret government papers, her office said on Thursday.

The White House announced that they've hired a new employee. Former actress Caroline Sunshine, who starred on the Disney Channel show "Shake It Up," has joined the White House press office. So it appears she's only comfortable working for Mickey Mouse organizations.- James Corden

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Business/Tech News

The darned Stormy Daniels scandal just will not go away for Donald Trump — no matter how many times he clears his browser history.- Stephen Colbert

Here's What China's News Service Is Reporting On Trump's Trade War
China on Monday again urged the United States to revoke it protectionist measures, amid escalating friction between the world's two largest economies.
The measures abuse the security exception clause of World Trade Organization (WTO) rules and go against the principle of non-discrimination in multilateral trade, the Chinese Ministry of Commerce (MOC) said in an online statement.

There is no Hell, but there is The Comments Section. - John Fugelsang

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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Today is #NationalHugANewsPersonDay. I chose...

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

The Latinos Are Coming! The Latinos Are Coming!

Monday, April 2, 2018

Fired FBI Director, James Comey Writes A Book

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