Monday, March 19, 2018

And the beat goes on

Where is Mark Zuckerberg?’ Reporter nails Facebook for data ‘scandal’ that helped deliver Trump and Brexit
British journalist Carol Cadwalladr has been sounding the alarm on Facebook and Cambridge Analytica for more than a year, and her investigative work helped reveal a massive data breach exploited by the Trump campaign.


FUN FACT: Steve Bannon, Trump's Campaign CEO and WH Chief Strategist, was VP of Cambridge Analytica, which is under an active search warrant at this very moment. - Tea Pain






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Mueller rents giant warehouse to store evidence against Trump. “It’s like a city all its own,” one warehouse worker said. “There are people working in the Michael Flynn section who’ve never met the people working in the Paul Manafort section.” - Andy Borowitz






More On Cambridge Analytica
A whistleblower has revealed to the Observer how Cambridge Analytica – a company owned by the hedge fund billionaire Robert Mercer, and headed at the time by Trump’s key adviser Steve Bannon – used personal information taken without authorisation in early 2014 to build a system that could profile individual US voters, in order to target them with personalised political advertisements.










Republican Shenanigans


Please. If this was a real witch hunt, Donald Jr. would be posing in a selfie with a witch head and broken broom. - Erik Bransteen





Yep. I Knew It, Religious Fundamentalists Are Coo Coo.
A study published in the journal Neuropsychologia has shown that religious fundamentalism is, in part, the result of a functional impairment in a brain region known as the prefrontal cortex. The findings suggest that damage to particular areas of the prefrontal cortex indirectly promotes religious fundamentalism by diminishing cognitive flexibility and openness—a psychology term that describes a personality trait which involves dimensions like curiosity, creativity, and open-mindedness.



If Trump ever had to take a lie detector test, he’d probably just draw the crazy lines himself. - Seth Myers





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“Hillary Clinton deliberately plotted to put me in the White House, and the American people should be very angry about that,” Trump said. - Andy Borowitz





Rock The Voter News

According to Politico, the publishers of former FBI Director James Comey’s upcoming memoir are taking extreme precautions to prevent the manuscript from leaking. Yeah, it would be a shame if something got out at the wrong time and ruined everything for him.- Seth Myers



My My My, This Explains Why Kentucky Keeps Reelecting Mitch McConnell. They're All Drunk!
Kentucky’s rate of binge-drinking has been one of the highest in the nation, according to a new study.
The state ranked third, at 652, in the total number of alcoholic drinks consumed annually during heavy drinking episodes by people who reported being binge drinkers, according to the study by researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.








Trump warned that the people who wrote the Constitution could be fired “very soon.” - Andy Borowitz


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I'm a Crisis Actor but what i really want to do is Crisis Direct. - John Fugelsang


Business/Tech News

Elon Musk has announced that his company SpaceX will be ready to fly an unmanned rocket to Mars and back by 2019. And shortly thereafter, they’ll be able to send people there to colonize the planet. You know, just in case you-know-who is re-elected to the you-know-what.- James Corden






Kroger Alters Gun Policy
Kroger announced it will no longer sell print magazines featuring assault rifles.
The supermarket retailer said it is now starting to implement the new policy in stores across the country, USA Today reported.



Trump is suing Carly Simon for writing a song about him.  - irishygirl tweet




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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

They both just received the news that the groundhog saw his shadow.

Peace.


Friday, March 16, 2018

Resign or run, Trump.

Britain points at Putin in poisoning attack as gulf widens
The gulf between Russia and Britain widened on Friday as they cranked up pressure over a nerve agent attack and a suspected murder in Britain that have deepened Western worries about alleged Russian meddling abroad.


I wonder why Putin pulled off this poisoning that so easily points to him. To send a message?


Trump said Mueller looking into his finances is a red line he wouldn’t allow to be crossed and now it is presumably being crossed. Why do I think this ends with Melania in a trench coat handing files over in an underground parking lot? - Jimmy Kimmel





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I wonder what Wag the Dog chaos will ensue today in order to deflect, deflect, deflect. Perhaps an avocado tariff on Mexico. - Chelsea Handler



Trump's Consiglieres Threaten Panama Judge. Really.
A Panamanian judge involved in a dispute over the Trump Organization's management of a 70-story luxury hotel was threatened by lawyers from the company, according to a complaint filed with the country's chief prosecutor.









“I mean, you have to picture him with his BlackBerry in his itty-bitty hands, and that’s how he finds out,” Tillerson cackled. “It would serve the bastard right.” - Andy Borowitz


Republican Shenanigans

I would never laugh at a human being’s suffering. Which is why I’m totally cool with laughing at Don Jr. - Jess Dweck






Trump's Trying To Oust Career Civil Servants (aka deep state) At The State Dept.
Two months into the Trump administration, a distraught State Department Iran expert named Sahar Nowrouzzadeh asked her new boss for help.
A conservative website had published an article depicting Nowrouzzadeh as a Barack Obama loyalist who had “burrowed into the government” under Trump and even had ties to the hated Iranian regime itself.


I refuse to joke about Vanessa Trump bc it's NEVER funny when a couple files for an uncontested quick divorce, one where assets can be swiftly transferred, on the same day an independent special counsel subpoenas their family business.  People, this could happen to you someday. - John Fugelsang


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Rock The Voter News

Pundidiots are wondering if Nancy Pelosi is too "toxic" to keep on as Democratic leader.
Who says she's "toxic"? Republican propagandists and neoprogressive trollbots.
This is the same bullshit that happened to Hillary. - DC Petterson



Ivanka Subbing For Rex Tillerson
Ivanka Trump will meet with South Korean Foreign Minister Kang Kyung-wha when she visits the U.S. following the abrupt ousting of secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
Foreign Ministry Spokesman Noh Kyu-duk confirmed Thursday that Ivanka Trump, a White House adviser, would meet with Kang, KBS World Radio reported.
The purpose and exact date of the meeting are not yet clear.







Well, this tweet from a New York Times columnist didn't age well. gag.



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U.S. Has Massive IQ Deficit with Canada - Andy Borowitz


Business/Tech News





Half of Trump's A-Team couldn't get security clearance and included felons, Nazis, racists, wife-beaters and gambling addicts. Just imagine how "qualified" the B-Team will be. So far the candidates include a warmonger, a cocaine addict and a torturer.- Wil Donnelly



Jimmy Kimmel To File Federal Complaint Against Trump's Chachkies
Jimmy Kimmel might end up costing President Donald Trump’s family some big money.
In light of the White House’s “buy American” rhetoric, the “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host bought a bunch of merchandise from the Trump Store, which is run by two of the president’s sons, to see where it all came from...Most of the merchandise Kimmel purchased was made abroad, and two items didn’t list a country of origin at all. Kimmel said such an omission could lead to potential fines of up to $500,000 if it turns out these products were made overseas.


The Trump family is the stupidest gang of hairbrained criminals this side of an Elmore Leonard novel. - Jeff Tiedrich






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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo
We've all been there, except for vegans. Oh wait, there are some veggies on the grill!

Peace.


Thursday, March 15, 2018

Mueller subpoenas Trump Organization

Mueller subpoenas Trump Organization: report
Special counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed the Trump Organization as part of the investigation into whether the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to win the 2016 election...


Well, that's the end of "I'm not under investigation."
Even if he's the last one to admit it. - Amy Siskind



Trump boasted to donors about making up facts during talks with Trudeau: report
...Trump told those at the dinner that he insisted that the U.S. had a trade deficit with Canada, but did not know if that was the case, according to leaked audio of the speech...“Trudeau came to see me. He’s a good guy. Justin. He said ‘No, no, we have no trade deficit with you, we have none. Donald, please,’” Trump said. “Nice guy, good looking guy, comes in – ‘Donald we have no trade deficit.’”





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Well, congratulations to everyone who had Rex Tillerson in their office pool. President Trump has fired Rex Tillerson, his secretary of state, which I think means the only remaining White House staffers are Mike Pence and a Roomba.- Seth Myers





“60 Minutes” just interviewed Betsy DeVos and they’re about to interview Stormy Daniels. That’s right, two women equally qualified to be education secretary.- Conan O'Brien


Wait. What? Trump Puts Sanctions On Russia.
The Trump administration announced Thursday it is enacting new sanctions on Russia, including individuals indicted last month by special counsel Robert Mueller, in a sweeping new effort to punish Moscow for its attempts to interfere in the 2016 US election.
The measures come a month-and-a-half after the administration missed a congressionally mandated deadline to impose the new sanctions, which led to questions over President Donald Trump's willingness to punish Moscow for its cyber intrusion.





Republican Shenanigans

Under President Trump, abstinence-only education is making a comeback. Or as Trump told teenagers, “Do as I say, not as I paid someone $130,000 to shut up about my doing.”- Conan O'Brien




What Fresh Hell Tennessee?
A Tennessee state House committee on Wednesday refused to vote on a resolution to denounce neo-Nazism, white nationalism and the alt-right as terrorist organizations.


It's 2018. Germany has a zero tolerance policy for Nazis and the US won’t even classify them as terrorists. The republigorgons have dragged us into the Upside Down. - OhNoSheTwint





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Rock The Voter News

President Trump announced on Twitter that he fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. People said, “Can you believe that he was so disrespectful to a secretary of state?” Then Hillary Clinton said, “Yes, actually, I can.”- Jimmy Fallon





Senators, I must respectfully ask,
If the 17 brave eagles at my school who lost their lives to a gunman wielding an assault rifle were a dog on an airplane, would you finally talk about guns? - Cameron Kasky


I Wonder What Barron Trump Thinks About Yesterday's School Walkout
The Maryland private school that President Trump’s son Barron attends joined other schools on Wednesday to push the president for "robust" measures to stem gun violence.






The Trump White House is proof that America's become a mob restaurant & it's being burned down for the insurance $. -John Fugelsang


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Business/Tech News

Dear World:

We would like to apologize for our extremely dumb American president. Yes, he did say “space force.” No, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Please know that we are working to address this problem.

Your patience is appreciated.

- Most of America

- Rex Huppke






Toys weRe Us
Toys R Us, the toy superstore chain that became a dream factory for kids nationwide, said in a U.S Bankruptcy Court filing early Thursday that it must liquidate, a move that will likely lead to the closure of all its stores and sale of remaining merchandise.






53 years ago today LBJ introduced Voting Rights Act before joint session of Congress & said, "It is wrong — deadly wrong — to deny any of your fellow Americans the right to vote." It was known as "We Shall Overcome" speech, one of greatest ever by US president. - Ari Berman




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It's hard hard work putting AllHatNoCattle together
but someone has to do it!


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Andre the Giant's hand holding a can of Canada's Molson beer.

Peace.