All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Hope Does Not Spring Eternal

Hope Hicks is resigning from the White House
White House communications director Hope Hicks, one of President Donald Trump's longest-serving and closest aides, is resigning, the White House confirmed Wednesday.
Hicks' departure capped her meteoric rise from Trump Organization communications aide to the upper crust of power in Washington in just a few years, during which Hicks sought to maintain a remarkably low profile for someone in her position

Hope Hicks lasted approximately 19.6 Scaramuccis as communications director. - Katie Watson

She should've quit because of this

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Every night is Watergate now. We don’t even have a vocabulary for the volume and magnitude of corruption.
It’s like a Sherlock Holmes novel where the killer just murders people in front of Sherlock one after another, then he painstakingly examines the bodies for clues. - Jesse Lee

No Response From Trump On The Video Bombing Of Mar-a-lago By Putin. Jesus.
Russian President Vladimir Putin used a concept video of unlimited range nuclear warheads apparently raining down on Florida -- President Trump's home away from home -- to tout his country's new firepower

President Vladimir Putin has new lethal weapons that can destroy America? Beyond Trump? -John Fugelsang

This White House is like Game of Thrones except you don't like any of the characters. - Kyle Volz

Trump Is Handing The USA To Putin On A Cyber Platter
President Trump’s choice to lead the National Security Agency (NSA) said Thursday that the United States’ response to Russian election interference has not been sufficient enough to change Moscow’s behavior.

So Ken Starr, who leveraged a mandate to investigate a 1980s land deal to try to impeach a President over a mid 90s extramarital affair is telling us Bob Mueller is exceeding his mandate? Lol. Okay, sure. Why not? - Josh Marshall

Republican Shenanigans

31% of Americans believe trump would've ran into the school unarmed.
69% wish he had. - Allen Marshall

This reminds me of the scene in the first "Planet of the Apes" movie where people are worshipping a golden nuclear bomb.
Apparently that's where we're headed.
Hundreds of couples toting AR-15 rifles packed a Unification church in Pennsylvania on Wednesday to have their marriages blessed and their weapons celebrated as "rods of iron" that could have saved lives in a recent Florida school shooting.

Feeling a whole lot better today as we watch Trump being taken down by his staff, his friends, his foes and reports by the non-fake news columnists and commentators. As Trump goes down, America goes up! - Carl Reiner

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Hope left the White House over a year ago. - Jessie Dean

Rock The Voter News

If Hillary Clinton were President right now, it would just be another boring Wednesday and twitter would be full of camel “hump day” gifs, people whining about “it needs to be Friday” and tweets about the horrible Bachelor season. - RedPainter1 tweet

Racists Everywhere, Even The Interior Dept.
An Interior Department special assistant resigned Wednesday after a search of her social media accounts revealed that she routinely shared conspiracy theories, false statements and racially tinged comments about Muslims and African-Americans.
Christine Bauserman, who worked in the office of the assistant secretary for lands and minerals and often attended policy briefings with Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke, quit immediately after her social media activity was revealed by CNN. In her role, she attended at least nine meetings with the secretary in September alone.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a vote. - Ed Krassenstein

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Business/Tech News

2018 is the year that Dicks and Walmart have done more for gun control than Washington...which is lead by a reality tv actor. - Tony Posnanski

Georgia Takes Tax Break Away From Delta For NRA Retaliation
A Georgia Senate committee has moved to get rid of a part of a bill that includes a tax break that would benefit Delta Airlines after the airline sought to distance itself from the National Rifle Association (NRA).

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. – Voltaire

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Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Son-in-law versus the Chief of Staff

Kushner loses access to top-secret intelligence
Presidential son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner has had his security clearance downgraded — a move that will prevent him from viewing many of the sensitive documents to which he once had unfettered access.

Let he among you who's never forgotten a $1mil+ loan or lied to get WH security clearance cast the 1st stone at Jared Kushner.
1 line please
- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

BREAKING: Jared Kushner Loses Access to Ivanka - Andy Borowitz

Here's A Good Dick
Dick's Sporting Goods is banning sales of assault weapons across all its stores after the Parkland, Fla. school shooting.
The nation's largest sporting goods retailer announced the move Thursday in an open letter and an appearance by CEO Ed Stack on Good Morning America.

BREAKING: Dick's has balls. - Randi Mayem Singer

Florida Legislature Rubs Salt In Parkland's Wound
Facing anguished relatives and classmates of shooting victims, a panel of Florida legislators took the unprecedented step Tuesday of creating a new statewide program to put armed teachers in classrooms — over the vocal opposition of Parkland residents.

History will always remember the bravery of "limited government" conservatives who in the face of a failing despot demanding prosecutions of his political opponents had the steely nerves to stand up to the teen survivors of a school shooting. - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

Got pulled over by a Trump supporter cop and I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to say “thoughts and prayers” or “Merry Christmas”. Anyway, I’m on death row now. - OhNoSheTwint

Think about how absolutely terrified Republicans must be of these teenagers, that they’ve spent all of their energy over the last two weeks trying to smear child survivors of a mass shooting. - Jules Suzdaltsev

Let Me Guess, This Guy's A Trump Supporter
The father of a Florida shooting survivor acknowledged Tuesday he omitted words in an email he sent media outlets accusing CNN of using scripted remarks at a town hall on guns and school safety.

Trump is running for re-election. And he said he'll be sticking with Mike Pence as a cellmate – I mean, running mate. - Jimmy Fallon

Michelle Obama's upcoming memoir is entitled "Becoming." Not to be outdone, Melania Trump is going to release her own memoir this summer and it has a similar title. It's called "Becoming Single."- James Corden

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Comfort therapy dogs waiting to greet Stoneman Douglas survivors this morning for their first day back.

Rock The Voter News

Trump Has A Hard Time Making Black Friends
The Golden State Warriors are planning to go to the National Museum of African-American History and Culture during their time in Washington, D.C., this week after President Trump disinvited the NBA champions from the White House.
"The White House is a great honor, but there are other circumstances that we felt not comfortable going," all-star guard Klay Thompson told reporters Monday night

An MSNBC host said this morning that first lady Melania Trump and Ivanka Trump have been given "fake jobs" at the White House. But Melania says it's no problem for her because she's used to faking it.- Seth Myers

Former President Obama recently said at a private speech that people didn't hear about the drama in his White House. Like the time Joe Biden spilled Four Loko on the Constitution. - Seth Myers

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Business/Tech News

There's an opening for the top position of the Federal Aviation Administration right now – this is a job that oversees 47,000 employees and every flight in America. And, according to a report, President Trump is considering filling the position with the pilot who flies his private jet. Trump told people, "He's a smart guy and knows what's going on." Trump appoints federal positions the way your neighbor recommends a plumber. "I got a guy. Trust me, this dude's on the level."- James Corden

Either Manafort is stupid or stubborn -- maybe both.
Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman accused of laundering $30 million to support a lavish lifestyle, pleaded not guilty in his first court appearance since Special Counsel Robert Mueller unveiled two new indictments against him last week.

Thank you, Dick’s Sporting Goods. This is the first good news about dicks since the #MeToo movement started. - Chelsea Handler

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Thank you!

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Cyber Command chief: Trump has not given us permission to stop Russian attacks on 2018 elections

Cyber Command chief: Trump has not given us permission to stop Russian attacks on 2018 elections
Admiral Michael Rogers, director of the National Security Agency and commander of the U.S. Cyber Command, said on Tuesday that President Donald Trump had not given him the authority to fight back against Russian attacks on the 2018 U.S. election.

Isn't leaving the US vulnerable to hacking illegal? Asking for a friend.

This country doesn’t need Democrats or Republicans right now. It needs Americans. The foundation of democracy has been attacked by a foreign power. There’s a time & place for partisan considerations. Now is not one of them. - Counterchekist

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I just went to this crazy 80s retro party where we ended up invading Grenada. - Conan O'Brien

Is This Extortion?
Delta’s decision to sever marketing ties with the National Rifle Association sparked outrage from Georgia conservatives, complicating the Atlanta-based airline’s push to restore a lucrative fuel tax break it lost years ago.
Several conservative groups and high-profile GOP candidates for higher office called on Republican legislators to ground the tax break after the airline said Saturday it would end a discount for NRA members

It's hard to believe Trump would charge into a high school for any reason other than scouting for a fourth wife. - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

Running into a hail of bullets is the best idea Trump has ever had. - Edel Rodriguez

So, How Is A Red State Doing In The Education Department?
Thousands of striking schoolteachers who have shut down West Virginia classrooms for days are demanding a face-to-face meeting with the governor and legislative leaders on their pay grievances.

If kids are worried about getting suspended for protesting gun violence and ruining their college prospects I PROMISE YOU “Why I Was Suspended For Fighting the NRA” is a better college admission essay topic than “How Soccer Made Me a Team Player.” - Jennifer Wright

My My My. A Missing (Probably Dead) Link Between Trump & Russia
Joseph Mifsud, the Maltese academic suspected of being a link between the Trump campaign and Russian officials, was once a regular on the foreign policy circuit, attending conferences the world over.
Now, after being identified as a key figure in the US special counsel investigation into Russian influence over the 2016 US presidential election, Mifsud has gone to ground.
Last Thursday he disappeared from the private university in Rome where he teaches...

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Let’s furlough the Secret Service, get rid of the metal detectors in Congress, and then debate gun laws. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Hillary Warns About Upcoming Election
Hillary Clinton late Monday stressed a focus on social media platforms ahead of the midterm elections, saying Americans "owe it to our democracy to get this right, and fast."

Age in 1776:
Marquis de Lafayette, 18
James Monroe, 18
Henry Lee III, 20
Aaron Burr, 20
Nathan Hale, 21
Alexander Hamilton, 21

Just a bunch of kids, right? What do they know? - Rachel R. Gonzalez

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Trump is like the most needy person on everyone's Facebook feed, the ones who keep posting photos of themselves, fishing for compliments. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

Business/Tech News