All Hat No Cattle

Friday, February 2, 2018

Trump Releases Memo

The Nunes Memo: Watergate, It Ain't
How the Republican report on the Trump-Russia probe fell short of its "worse than Watergate" billing

WOW the Nunes Memo was delivered with the same laser-like precision of the 8 Benghazi investigations. Republicans are inept, pure and simple.

Donald Trump is a symptom of a much larger problem: namely, that our government is populated by painfully stupid incompetents like Devin Nunes. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The latest attacks on the FBI and Department of Justice serve no American interests – no party’s, no president’s, only Putin’s. - Sen. John McCain

Tillerson Urges Military Coup In Venezuela. Wink. Wink.
U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson raised the prospect on Thursday that the Venezuelan military could decide to oust President Nicolas Maduro, but said he did not know whether that would happen.

First, Trump tries to discredit the American press. Now it's his own Justice Department he's after. If he's not Putin's puppet, he's certainly giving a fine imitation. - Stephen King

The gang that can't treason straight. - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

LOL

A year attacking the Steele dossier.

A month hyping that the dossier started the whole FBI investigation.

Weeks hyping that they have a memo (a memo!) that will finally prove it!

So... is there some other memo?

Because this one says it was Papadopoulos, not the dossier. - Rachel Maddow

I Wonder If Trump Will Get A Cell With A View
According to two lawyers who have clients who have been swept up in special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into the Donald Trump administration, they believe that the president may be indicted for obstruction of justice within the next few months.

I’ve reviewed the Nunes memo and the Democratic memo (which Republicans are refusing to release).
I can’t divulge the contents. What I can say is that @SpeakerRyan and every House Republican should be ashamed of what they’re doing.- Rep.David Cicilline (D-RI)

The Vulgarians
Scaramucci told Vanity Fair that he was offered the job of director of the Office of Public Liaison shortly before Trump took office. Scaramucci said Priebus, whom he refers to as “Rancid Penis,” was “jealous” of his potential appointment.

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Rock The Voter News

Trump Prefers Public Leaks To The Russians
Appearing on MSNBC Friday morning, a former Watergate prosecutor accused President Donald Trump of using the memo created by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) that criticizes the FBI as a way to provide confidential information to the Russians for the second time of his presidency.

This reminds me of the time Obama ran a scandal-free white house for 8 years and won two elections in popular vote landslides without resorting to collusion with a hostile foreign government. - Ben Wexler

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Business/Tech News

Congrats to republicans for releasing a lovely cherry- picked memo. For your next project how about the tax returns of our current leader? - Albert Brooks

Who's Gonna Pick The Vegetables & Fruit?
Federal agents this week ordered dozens of Northern California businesses to prove that their employees are authorized to work in the U.S., heightening tensions between state and federal officials over immigration policies.

In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people. - TheTweetofGod

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Thursday, February 1, 2018

A new movie!

Disregarding FBI, White House to Release Republican Memo: Official
A secret Republican memo alleging FBI bias against President Donald Trump likely will be released on Thursday, a Trump administration official said, a move that would put the White House in direct confrontation with the top U.S. law enforcement agency.

Devin Nunes Says He Held Russia Hearings Alone In His Apartment and They Went Great - Andy Borowitz

AllHatNoCattle received an advance copy of the secret memo

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

In the State of the Union speech, President Trump reportedly didn't stray from the teleprompter once. Friends are saying it's the longest Donald Trump has stayed faithful to anything.- Conan O'Brien

Are We Going To Be In A Third Prolonged War?
The Trump administration on Thursday accused Syrian President Bashar Assad's government of producing and using new chemical weapons despite committing to abolish its program in 2013, and insisted the world must find a way to stop it.

So the President says the NFL ratings were down because players weren’t patriots as they knelt during anthem, so then what is the explanation for the President having the lowest 1st State of Union ratings in 30 years? - Matthew Dowd

Republican Shenanigans

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” ― Isaac Asimov

From Stunning Beauty To A Land Grab For Miners
Despite protests from conservationists, local tribe leaders, Democratic lawmakers, and even the United Nations’ expert on indigenous rights, at 6am on Friday the Trump administration will allow citizens and companies to start staking claims on sections of the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments in Utah so the new stakeholders can conduct hard rock mining on the formerly protected lands.

Evangelicals for Trump have finally perfected Christianity and all it took was rejecting all the Christ parts. - John Fugelsang

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Lawyers Confirm Trump Willing To Answer All Of Sean Hannity’s Questions About Russia Collusion - The Onion

Rock The Voter News

CIA Director Meets With Russian Spies. Wow, Are They Gonna Figure Out Which Russians Screwed With Our Election?
CIA Director Mike Pompeo on Thursday defended the practice of meeting with Russian spy chiefs, following reports that top U.S. intelligence officials last week met a Kremlin spymaster who is under U.S. sanctions.

For the record, Benghazi is turning out to be like the @StephenKing book “Thinner”.

Everyone who tried to come at Hillary is watching their political career wither and die.

Good. - The Hoarse Whisperer

You Go, Girl: Just 3 Weeks After Her Badass Golden Globes Speech, Oprah Has Become The Dictator Of Venezuela After Leading A Successful Military Coup.

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Business/Tech News

Rush Limbaugh reminds you that undocumented immigrants who make the dangerous border crossing to do backbreaking labor for pennies are lazy. - John Fugelsang

So, Are We Going Back To Coal Burning Furnaces?
President Trump’s administration is reportedly seeking a 72 percent cut to the budget of Department of Energy programs related to energy efficiency and renewable energy.

'In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.'-
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Top Russian Spy Visits Top U.S. Spies

Sanctioned Russian spy official met with counterparts in US
The Trump administration let a top Russian spy official visit the United States last week for meetings with U.S. intelligence officials even though there are sanctions against him that typically prohibit such visits, officials said Tuesday.

Current inner monologue: I'm tired of looking at the news but I'm afraid if I stop looking at the news I'll die. - OhNoSheTwint

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I’m glad no Republicans were injured in the train crash today heading to their annual retreat.
That being said, I have to ask the question: Why are they headed to some lavish retreat? It’s Wednesday. This country’s in turmoil & they’re busy partying. And taking half-weeks off. - Scott Dworkin

Oh, YAY, Terrorists Have Another Reason To Hate The U.S.
President Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order to keep open the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, after pledging during the campaign to "load it up with some bad dudes."

In a new interview, President Trump revealed that he tweets in bed. When asked if this were true, Melania said, “How the hell would I know?”- Conan O'Brien

Melania seems to be enjoying herself at the State of the Union

Republican Shenanigans

Trey Gowdy Leaving Congress To Utilize His Benghazi Investigative Skills
Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) announced Wednesday that he will not seek re-election this year.
“Instead I will be returning to the justice system,” Gowdy, who previously worked as an attorney and prosecutor, said in a statement. “Whatever skills I may have are better utilized in a courtroom than in Congress, and I enjoy our justice system more than our political system.”

The FBI’s secret plan to elect Hillary Clinton by holding a press conference to disparage her after she was cleared while denying the existence of a very real counterintelligence probe of her opponent’s campaign was really poorly executed. - Matthew Yglesias

FBI Director Says Nunes Memo Nutz
FBI Director Christopher Wray told the White House he opposes release of a classified Republican memo alleging bias at the FBI and Justice Department because it contains inaccurate information and paints a false narrative, according to a person familiar with the matter.

If Sarah Hickabilly Slanders thinks women like Pelosi should smile more & be more attractive, she should do her part, lose some weight & wear something other than upholstery. When she's Pelosi's age she'll still look like her dad in drag. - Jim David

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“Some of us love music without the politics thrown in.” Well, Nikki Haley, you can tell your boss that some of us love politics without the Twitter meltdowns thrown in. - James Corden

Rock The Voter News

Who Are These People?
A strong majority of voters who watched President Trump’s first State of the Union said they approve of the president’s remarks, according to a new poll.
A CBS News poll conducted in the immediate aftermath of the speech found that 75 percent approve of the speech. Eighty percent said Trump was trying to unite, rather than divide, the country.

Congress Needs Spellcheck

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely going to be having wime with my popcorm during the State of the Uniom. #IdiotFest2018 - Bette Midler

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Business/Tech News

Trump tweeted that someone should tell Jay-Z that black unemployment is at its lowest rate ever under his presidency. But after all the Cabinet members he’s fired, WHITE unemployment is at an all-time high. Very interesting. - Jimmy Fallon