All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Fake News War

‘We’re at war here’: Tom Brokaw slams Fox News ‘jihad’ against democracy and the rule of law
Tom Brokaw called out Fox News for aiding and abetting President Donald Trump’s attack on democratic institutions and the rule of law.
The longtime NBC News anchor appeared Thursday on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” where he reacted to the president’s tweet praising “Fox & Friends” as a model for other news programs to emulate.

BREAKING: Republican Congressmen Accused of Molesting 241-year-old Country. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump Orders All Government Branches to Stop Using Words “For,” “The” and “People” - Andy Borowitz

Mike Pence Genuflects Before Trump
A CNN panel was none too impressed with Vice President Mike Pence’s shameless flattery of President Donald Trump this week, as panelists roundly mocked him for going out of his way to stroke the president’s ego.

President Trump today congratulated Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for passing the Republican tax plan tweeting quote, “I could have not asked for a better or more talented partner.” McConnell was so touched, his neck pouch blushed. - Seth Myers

Republican Shenanigans

President Trump had a very good day. He’s very proud – Republicans finally passed his tax bill which means Trump’s about to sign his first major piece of legislation. Yep, his chest was puffed out so far his tie was actually at a normal length. “Wow! It’s actually at my waist!” -Jimmy Fallon

The US Is Going To Be Friendless Soon
Donald Trump has threatened to withhold “billions” of dollars of US aid from countries which vote in favour of a United Nations resolution rejecting the US president’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

If Trump is going to cut off aid to countries who disagree with him, he should probably start with the United States. - Andy Borowitz

We could eliminate the national debt if we charged Sarah Huckabee Sanders $10 per lie. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Merry Christmas! Another Looming Government Shutdown!
As House Republicans spilled out of a closed-door meeting Wednesday night, it was clear that things hadn't gone well. Members gave wildly varying accounts of the proposal that's being cobbled together to keep the government open ahead of Friday's shutdown deadline.

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I read that only 24 percent of Americans think the GOP tax plan is “good.” To put that in perspective, The Spice Girls movie got a 29 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes. - Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

Real Patriotic millionaires would brag about paying slightly higher taxes like it was their dick size. - John Fugelsang

Covering Up Real News?
The exodus of staffers from the Wall Street Journal’s editorial pages was likely caused by the paper’s embrace of Donald Trump during the 2016 election, in particular the spiking of an editorial on the then-candidate’s ties to the mob

A couple in Tennessee recently gave birth to a baby from an embryo that was frozen 24 years ago. Which explains why its first word was “Wazzzzzupppppp!” - Seth Myers

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Please help me continue to provide you with virtual pharmaceutical comic relief

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

911 Call

Confusion and chaos ahead as new tax rules take immediate effect
America’s new tax system will go into effect in just 12 days, and payroll companies are bracing for confusion as they figure out new withholding rules that will affect millions of American paychecks.

Most congressional republicans haven't felt this giddy since they pushed their grandparents down the stairs for inheritance money.- Soapbox Liberal

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Farewell, Individual Mandate.
Created by a GOP think tank.
Implemented by a GOP governor.
But then the black POTUS adopted it & it had to go.
So now uninsured sick ppl can show up at ERs
& local taxpayers foot the bill.
Congrats, MAGA folk - you finally got Socialized health care. - John Fugelsang

WTH? This Is Bizarre.
A used car dealership known as ‘CIA’ in northern Virginia is the latest detail of intrigue in the bizarre investigations into the Pakistani family at the center of the House IT scandal involving former Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

It's NO coincidence that the unelected public servants who have seen the details behind Trump/Russia that are hidden from the public are the ones who are sounding the alarms

Sally Yates, Comey, Clapper, Brennan, etc

They have nothing to gain by doing so except to save America. - Brian Krassenstein

No more paper towels for you!

Will The Tax Bill Punish Puerto Rico?
Why, Of Course, It Will!
The hits just keep coming for Puerto Rico.
As the U.S. island struggles to climb out of a $70 billion debt crisis and recover from the devastation of Hurricane Maria, House Republicans voted Tuesday to impose a 12.5 percent tax on intellectual property income made by U.S. companies operating on the island and a minimum 10 percent tax on their profits in Puerto Rico. The Senate passed the measure early Wednesday.

It was revealed that the Pentagon had a top secret program to investigate UFO’s and aliens. Which is why Trump announced plans to build a dome over the earth and make E.T. pay for it. - Jimmy Fallon

Republican Shenanigans

I've never been prouder not to be a Republican. - John Pavlovitz

Chris Christie Goes After Jared Kushner. Grab The Popcorn!
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who helped put Jared Kushner's father in prison, showed no mercy toward the senior White House adviser on Tuesday, encouraging Russia probe investigators to closely examine any hand he may have had in potential wrongdoings by the Trump campaign.

Dear child with cancer whose government has just given your chemo treatment money to a board member at Goldman Sachs:
Don’t worry, he’s going to spend it on a third Mercedes. -Mikel Jollet

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Rock The Voter News

The Trump administration has banned the CDC from using seven words in official documents for next year's budget. The seven words are "Hillary Clinton actually won the popular vote."- Seth Myers

I realize this is the world’s smallest issue, but I still don’t understand what “I moved on her like a bitch“ means. - Emily Nussbaum

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Being too stupid and gullible to realize that the plutocrats are picking your pockets is a great way to own the libs.- Jeff Tiedrich

Business/Tech News

Save this tweet: In 2019 Democrats are gonna repeal this #GOPTaxScam. I’ll laugh as Repubs cry. This bill is smoking hot garbage, the most corrupt bill that’s ever existed in Congress. I feel dirty talking about it. The swamp monster of bills. People will go to prison over it. - Scott Dworkin

Europe, China And Japan Have Fabulous Railroads. Why? Because They Invest In Technology. The USA Doesn't. It's That Simple.
Amtrak's co-CEO apologized profusely for the high-speed train derailment that hurled passenger cars onto a freeway, killing three people and injuring 100.
"It's not acceptable that we are involved in these kinds of accidents. We are terribly sorry to the people that are involved," Richard Anderson said.

"Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best man winning than the man who inherited his father's store or farm." -- C. Wright Mills, 1951

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Holiday Hugs To Everyone!

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

This beautiful house is about 300 meters from my house. This is the 2nd time this year that this house's fence has been hit by obscene graffiti. I have no idea who lives there. The only cars I have seen there belong to the landscaper. My first thought when I saw it was -- what did he do to her?

Peace.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Buckle Up Buttercups

Russia investigation could last at least another year
Special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into Russian election meddling and possible ties between Trump campaign staff members and Moscow may continue for at least another year...

Me: I’m glad to see 2017 go, what a sh*tshow, at least it’s almost over.
Also me: What if 2018 is worse??? - John Leguizamo

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

It’s almost as if those Tea Party “deficit hawks” that rose to prominence during Obama’s Presidency were really just racists masquerading as deficit hawks. - Brian Krassenstein

Jill Stein Under Investigation
Senate Intelligence Chairman Richard Burr says his committee is examining the campaign of Green Party 2016 presidential candidate Jill Stein as part of its investigation into Russian meddling in the US election.

Right wing Evangelicals could tear the Sermon on the Mount out of a Bible, use it as toilet paper & then set it on fire but it's easier to just support Trump.- John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

When I die, please cremate me and throw my ashes into Paul Ryan's eyes.- OhNoSheTwint

Close Encounters Of The Second Kind?
A former military intelligence official who ran a Pentagon program analyzing unidentified flying objects (UFOs) said Monday that there is "compelling evidence" that "we may not be alone" in the universe.

AHNC Personal Trivia: I've witnessed several UFOs over the years, some I believe were U.S. experimental aircraft but others I saw, no.

One of the cartoon contributors to AHNC in the early years was Steve Bradenton (an alias), who was a retired CIA artist from the 70s to the 90s. He said he saw photographic proof and documents that UFOs and alien beings exist and the military knows it, and believes it privately, not publicly. I asked him about the Roswell Incident, Area 51, etc...he laughed and said that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Steve died several years ago ending his second career as a successful painter.

Here's one my favorite toons of Steve's

I miss you, buddy.

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Sen. Susan Collins says she's concerned about deficits, and that's why she's voting for the tax bill. I'm watching my weight, and that's why I'm having a huge piece of pie with ice cream. - Paul Krugman

Rock The Voter News

Legislated Silence For Congressional Sex Abuse Settlements
The Senate’s Office of Compliance on Monday rejected Sen. Tim Kaine’s (D-Va.) request for information about sexual harassment settlements in Congress, citing the Congressional Accountability Act’s confidentiality rules.

While announcing plans to trim the size of the regulatory code, President Trump today cut a red ribbon with an oversized scissors that was draped across stacks of paper. Then, because of all the regulations he repealed, the scissors fell apart, a dolphin choked on the ribbon, and the paper burst into flames.- Seth Myers

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