All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

2017 Thanksgiving Prayer

Trump chooses his own version of reality to back Moore
When reality boxes in President Donald Trump, he simply chooses his own alternative, convenient truth.
The President reached for this politically pliable tactic yet again Tuesday while effectively endorsing Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore despite allegations the outspoken judge pursued teenagers, including a girl as young as 14.

One positive thing that has come out of this year is how reading the news now qualifies as cardio. - OhNoSheTwitnt

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Seth Meyers: 'Maybe Trump thinks he's working hard' because Twitter doubled its characters

Some Coverups Are Worse Than The Crime. Not In This Case. They're Just Stupid.
Jared Kushner was worried about his father-in-law, President Donald Trump, reportedly asking a friend about the ongoing Russia probe: “Do you think they'll get the president?” The businessman and adviser to the president was reportedly concerned about the reach of special counsel Robert Mueller's ...

Republican Shenanigans

We don’t have a leader for a president. We have the personification of all of America’s ills. - Jared Yates Sexton

Don't vote for someone you wouldn't trust as babysitter.- Jesse McLaren

Jesus wouldn't let this fool ride his donkey.

The Pearly Gates Just Sent This Pastor A NO ADMITTANCE Ticket
A prominent right-wing preacher who appeared alongside Senate candidate Roy Moore at a campaign rally just days ago said that Moore dated teen girls because of their “purity” and because when he got back from Vietnam there weren’t any women his age left to date.
Pastor Flip Benham told a local Alabama radio show on Monday that there was nothing wrong with Moore dating teenage girls.

Finally a President that represents ALL pedophiles. - Billy Eichner

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Senate Republicans engaged in obstruction to leave as many judicial vacancies unfilled as possible. Now Trump will add twice as many lifetime members to the federal judiciary in the next 12 months (650) as Obama named in eight years (325). American law will never be the same. - Frank Schaeffer

Rock The Voter News

Can anyone imagine a dirty phone call from Charlie Rose? What would that even look like? I mean it’s like getting a dick pic from Abraham Lincoln.- Molly Jong Fast

Sexual Abusers Who Are Lawmakers
“Since last year, at least 40 lawmakers – nearly all men – in 20 states have been publicly accused by more than 100 people of some form of sexual misconduct or harassment, a USA TODAY NETWORK analysis found.”

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Business/Tech News

Trump’s support of a child molester makes me nostalgic for the days when he just supported Nazis. - Andy Borowitz

What The Hell? Which Is It?
Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen stuck by her prediction that U.S. inflation will soon rebound but offered on Tuesday an unusually strong caveat: she is “very uncertain” about this and is open to the possibility that prices could remain low for years to come.

The endless expanse of red brake lights on freeways trying to leave Los Angeles for Thanksgiving is our Fall foliage. - Elizabeth Hackett

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Happy Thanksgiving Y'ALL!

I'll be back on Friday!

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Carnal Congress

CONGRESS’S SECRET HISTORY OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE
In a single day, both The New York Times and CBS News suspended top journalists in the wake of sexual-harassment allegations, and Democrats moved a step closer to losing one of their most vocal advocates in the Senate, who is facing similar accusations. The post-Weinstein reckoning has torn through the ranks of the entertainment and media industries at an unprecedented pace, bringing long-simmering rumors to the surface and exposing abusers at every level. And with the allegations against Alabama Senate Candidate Roy Moore as a catalyst, it was inevitable that it would soon reach Capitol Hill, the Valhalla of the power hungry.

As American taxpayers, millions of our money went to pay sexual harassment settlements involving Congresspeople. I want to know, I demand to know, who these congresspeople are. It’s our damn money. No more cover-ups.- Ana Navarro

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Today, more than 200 utility experts from New York arrive in Puerto Rico to help restore the power grid. By the end of the month there will be 400 workers deployed.
NY is proud to continue to expand our support to aid in PR recovery. - Gov. Andrew Cuomo

US Is Back In Afghanistan Fighting The War On Drugs
The United States has launched its first counter-narcotics military offensive in partnership with local allies in Afghanistan to try to deprive the resurgent Taliban of its largest source of funding. The move follows years of criticism that international forces are not doing enough to curb the opium trade.

Republican Shenanigans

Thanksgiving: when the people who told us "All Lives Matter" amend it to exclude Haitians.- John Fugelsang

Goodbye, Net Neutrality, Hello, Screaming At Your Modem
Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Chairman Ajit Pai will reportedly seek to completely repeal net neutrality rules put in place under former President Obama, according to a Monday report.
Sources close to the matter tell Politico that Pai will seek to completely remove the net neutrality rules, which reclassified internet service providers (ISPs) as telecommunications companies and required them to treat all web traffic equally.

President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat. - Conan O'Brien

A Policewoman Verifies Roy Moore's Predatory Habits
A retired Alabama police officer told MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell on Tuesday that she had to keep an eye on Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore in the 1980s at local high school football games because he would regularly harass the team’s teenage cheerleaders.
Faye Gary, who for 37 years was an officer at the Gadsden Police Department, explained to Mitchell that Moore’s reputation for pursuing underage girls was widely known throughout the community.

2018 Prediction:
Almost every politician will have shame-resigned because of a harassment scandal, leaving Congress comprised of only women and Roy Moore. - Erik Bransteen

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Rock The Voter News

Seems like Morning Joe spent about 14 hrs in last week talking about Bill Clinton misconduct. how much time have they spent this morning discussing their buddies Glenn Thrush and Charlie Rose? - Eric Boehlert tweet

Charlie Rose Was Next To Have His Pants Pulled Down
Television journalist Charlie Rose said in the wake of numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against him that he was not involved in any "wrongdoings."

Al Franken: "I'm deeply sorry"
Charlie Rose: "I'm deeply sorry"
Donald Trump: "Those women are liars"
Roy Moore: "Those teenagers are liars"
George H.W. Bush: "Women can't take a joke"

It's almost as if personal responsibility has a liberal bias.- Jeff Tiedrich

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Business/Tech News

Remember the good ol' days when we put pedophiles in jail and didn't vote for them so the super wealthy could get a tax cut?- Erik Bransteen

Google Steps Up To The Fake News Plate
Google will "derank" stories from two of Russia's largest news outlets, according to Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google parent Alphabet.
The Alphabet chairman said the search engine's algorithms will be used to limit the reach of RT (Russia Today) and Sputnik...

According to reports, Donald Trump Jr. spoke briefly last year with a Russian banker with ties to Vladimir Putin while attending an event hosted by the NRA. Wait, hold on one second. Don Jr., OK … Putin … NRA! I won Evil Bingo! - Seth Myers

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Monday, November 20, 2017

Four score and seven years ago...

Trump tweets he should have left UCLA players in Chinese jail
President Trump says he should have left three UCLA basketball players accused of shoplifting in China in jail.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is somewhere right now working on a statement that says Charles Manson was only peripherally involved in the campaign. - goldengateblond tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Finally, someone sh**ty died. #CharlesManson - Randi Mayem Singer

White House Officials Keep Hearing Mysterious Footsteps
Investigators for Robert Mueller’s special probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election are expected to speak with multiple senior White House officials in the coming weeks...

Really says something that Trump gets more political pushback from Republicans on the maltreatment of elephants than of women.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

The House passed the GOP-backed tax plan today, which is very good news for billionaires and also just your average run-of-the mill millionaires too. The bill would shift the tax burden from the wealthy to people who really should be paying more, like college students. - Jimmy Kimmel

A Russian Yacht With A Submarine Is Docked Near Mar-a-Lago
A prominent Russian oligarch with ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin has docked his 500-foot yacht in the Port of Palm Beach, just days before President Trump makes his way to Mar-a-Lago.
Roman Abramovich docked the yacht, which is estimated to be worth between $400 and $500 million, at the port on Friday afternoon, and is expected to stay until Dec. 5

According to a new study, sweat might one day be used to unlock smartphones. So get ready to all be hacked by Steve Bannon.- Seth Myers

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Rock The Voter News

Franken Cut Out Of Letterman Tribute
In a statement, PBS said it decided that “the inclusion of Sen. Franken in the broadcast at this time would distract from the show’s purpose as a celebration of American humor,” although I think anyone looking at the special could have soldiered through the “distraction” without any ill effects.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is calling for an ethics investigation into accusations that Sen. Al Franken sexually assaulted a woman in 2006. Because Mitch McConnell absolutely will not stand for sexual harassment — by Democrats.- Seth Myers

More Earthquakes Expected
Scientists say number of severe quakes is likely to rise strongly next year because of a periodic slowing of the Earth’s rotation...In addition, it is difficult to predict where these extra earthquakes will occur – although Bilham said they found that most of the intense earthquakes that responded to changes in day length seemed to occur near the equator. About one billion people live in the Earth’s tropical regions.

OK it's gotten so bad I woke up & saw Charles Manson trending and my first thought was "Oh my God, who did he grope on-set?"- John Fugelsang