All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Trump had one job to do-- not look at the sun.

Trump Looks At The Sun During Solar Eclipse Despite Shouted Warning

President Donald Trump’s administration on Monday took a moment in the afternoon to observe the first total solar eclipse to pass over the United States from one coast to the other since 1918.

Scientist: The eclipse will be just like this...

People: Wow, you were right.

Scientist: Now about climate change

People: Shut up egghead - JohngCole tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump wants to fix Afghanistan but hasn't bothered to even nominate anyone for 96 of 141 posts at the State Dept & wants to gut its funding. - Brian Klaas

Republicans Praise Trump For Extending the 16 Year Afghan War
After reversing course on his “original instinct” to remove U.S. troops from Afghanistan and declaring on Tuesday an unannounced approach to military operations in the country, GOP lawmakers praised President Donald Trump for his new strategy.

Trump's generals wouldn't let him start his own war, so Trump will have to make do with a hand-me-down.- Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

Mike Pence & Kellyanne Conway are very, very different. Pence gravely stares at you while lying at you as if you're an idiot. Conway smiles. - LOLGOP

So How's Bannon's Return To Breitbart Going?
Lukas Podolski is considering legal action against Breitbart after it printed a photo of the German soccer player in an article about illegal immigration, according to reports.
On Friday, an image of the former Germany and Arsenal striker Podolski on a jet-ski appeared under the headline: “Spanish Police Crack Gang Moving Migrants on Jet-Skis.”

Pence Disappointed That Eclipse Was Not Beginning of Rapture. - Andy Borowitz

That's A Good Doggy! Pence Wants More Confederate Monuments
Amid a national debate on the future of Confederate statues across the US, Vice President Mike Pence said Tuesday he believed the fate of the monuments should be decided at the local level, adding that he viewed such works as an important part of American history.
"I'm someone who believes in more monuments, not less monuments," Pence told Fox and Friends.

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Rock The Voter News

Trump can't continue to support white supremacy and then ask us to "love one another." This is nothin' but the normalization of hate. - Tea Pain

More Scary Nepotism
President Trump’s son-in-law and senior advisor, Jared Kushner, has traveled to the Middle East this week as the White House continues Israeli-Palestinian peace negotiations.

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Just think, 100 years from now, our grandchildren will be taking down Senator Kid Rock statues. - Conan O'Brien

Business/Tech News

Mexico Send's Its Love For Trump's Wall

Saying Democrats supported Confederacy is so intellectually lazy. In 1860, the GOP fought the Confederacy. In 2017, they ARE the Confederacy- Mrs. Betty Bowers

Trump Slaps China And Russia
The Trump administration on Tuesday announced new sanctions on Chinese and Russian individuals and businesses accused of helping North Korea boost its nuclear and ballistic missile programs.

Report: Sky Normal Today. - The Onion

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Monday, August 21, 2017

Save those eclipse glasses

U.S., South Korea start military drills amid 'second war' threats from Pyongyang
The U.S. and South Korea started their annual joint military exercises Monday amid threats from Pyongyang that the drills could spark a “second Korean war.”

I experienced a total eclipse in Tallahassee, Florida in 1970. It was not visible due to thick cloud cover. But as I drove down Tennessee St. as the total eclipse neared, all the street lights came on. That was it.

The sun never went out when Obama was president, is all I'm saying. - Oliver Willis

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

What Is Going On With Our Highly Sophisticated Warships??
Another US Navy warship accident in Asian waters took place early Monday, the fourth this year.
The USS John S. McCain, a Navy guided-missile destroyer, collided with an oil tanker east of Singapore.

Our ships never collided until we elected a President that loves sharin' classified information with the Russians. Coincidence? - Tea Pain

If your fantasy ends with Trump leaving the presidency willingly and easy, consider that his hair hasn't even left the 50s. - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

The Secret Service has spent $60k on golf cart rentals alone — which goes into Trump's pocket. - goldengateblond

Ancestors Of The Money Changers Defend Trump
Two prominent religious conservatives defended U.S. President Donald Trump on Sunday after he was widely criticized for blaming both white nationalists and counter-protesters for last weekend's violence at a Virginia rally organized by neo-Nazis and white supremacists.

Hey Donald J. Trump, you seemed to have misspelled "heal" as "heel" in your tweets today, so let me help you out by using both in a sentence:
This nation will heal after that f*cking heel Trump is impeached.
Glad to help! - Andy Borowitz

Trump's Son-In-Law Wants To Jail People Behind In Their Rent
The real estate company owned by Jared Kushner, son-in-law and top adviser to President Donald Trump, has been the most aggressive in Maryland in using a controversial debt-collection tactic: getting judges to order the arrest of people who owe his company money.

You know, it's really not that hard to get through life without being identified with the Ku Klux Klan. - David Corn

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Rock The Voter News

“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” - Shirley Chisholm

Slowly Trump Turned, Step By Step, Inch By Inch Dismantling The U.S.
The Trump administration has decided to dissolve a federal advisory panel that contributes to a report that measures the current and future impacts of climate change on the U.S...

Really, the best solution would be to replace every Confederate statue with one of Barack Obama. - Andy Borowitz

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Jerry Falwell Jr, son of a segregationist who built whites-only schools & defended Apartheid, assures you DT is not racist. - Jerry Falwell

Business/Tech News

President Trump is having a historically bad week, which he kept going strong with a string of combative tweets this morning. He makes one good point. If we’re going to start taking down every monument that pays tribute to racists, we should probably take down every building with the name “Trump” on it. - Jimmy Kimmel

A Call To Ban Killer Robots
Some of the world’s leading robotics and artificial intelligence pioneers are calling on the United Nations to ban the development and use of killer robots.
Tesla’s Elon Musk and Alphabet’s Mustafa Suleyman are leading a group of 116 specialists from across 26 countries who are calling for the ban on autonomous weapons.

"People don't remember who the critics were." –Robert Redford

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Friday, August 18, 2017

Steve Bannon Resigned -- er -- Fired

Trump's chief strategist Steve Bannon fired
President Donald Trump's chief strategist Steve Bannon has been fired, multiple White House officials told CNN on Friday.

So, who will replace Bannon? Rasputin?

So basically Himmler got fired today, but his boss is still on the job. - Andy Borowitz

With Steve Bannon out, there's only the VP left in Donald Trump's original suicide squad. Guess it's family first from now on, right, Don? - Vicente Fox Quesada, Presidente de México de 2000 a 2006

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Dear "Christian" white supremacists: Your Savior is a dark-skinned Jewish man from the Middle East who spoke Aramaic. His mom was Jewish too. - James Martin, Jesuit priest

ACLU Says No To Hate Groups With Guns
The American Civil Liberties Union took a new stance on firearms Thursday, announcing a change in policy that it would not represent hate groups who demonstrate with firearms.

Heather Heyer's mom says she won't speak to Trump. "I saw a clip of him equating the protesters with the KKK & the white supremacists..." - Kaitlan Collins, CNN

Republican Shenanigans

We could eliminate the national debt by making Trump's trial pay-per-view.- Andy Borowitz

Click on the map to enlarge.

There Are 1500 Confederate Symbols In The USA
On Saturday, Aug. 12, a white nationalist rally erupted in violence in Charlottesville, Virginia, over the pending removal of a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee. The statue is one of more than 1,500 symbols of the Confederacy in the United States, according to an April 2016 review by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Trumpets: You're trying to erase our history!
Me: You can have it back for free. Go to one of those temples of the liberal elite. A library. - BitchestheCat tweet

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Bannon being forced out is good news. But people keep putting their hopes in staff changes to fix things. They can't. The problem is Trump. - Brian Klaas

Rock The Voter News

The lesson of Scaramucci and Bannon seems to be this: the only person who can get away with telling reporters totally insane things that indicate he is wildly unfit for his job is the President of the United States. - Andy Borowitz

Is The White House On Fire? Why Yes. Yes It Is.
Another advisory group is walking away from President Donald Trump after his equivocation on neo-Nazis and white supremacists, with the President’s Committee on the Arts and Humanities resigning en masse Friday morning.

In a new interview, Kim Kardashian revealed that she did karaoke with former President Obama. Said Obama, “That was just the National Anthem…” - Seth Myers

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Business/Tech News

Florida, with 18% unemployment, passed an anti-bestiality Law. - John Fugelsang

Florida Wastes Time Passing Law.
Wisconsin: Hold My Beer!
Wisconsin lawmakers vote to pay Foxconn $3 billion to get a new factory. State taxpayers could end up paying Foxconn $500,000 per job, or more.

Twenty-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has been accepted to Oxford University. When she puts her Nobel Prize on the shelf, her roommate will quietly put away all her youth soccer trophies. - Jimmy Fallon

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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Trump had one job to do-- not look at the sun.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Save those eclipse glasses

Friday, August 18, 2017

Steve Bannon Resigned -- er -- Fired

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