TGIF

Rain, sweet rain, but also a plethora of lightning, so all electrical equipment was promptly shut down.

New edition tomorrow!

OUCH!

Peace.

Islamic State militants vow to ‘de-throne’ Vladimir Putin and ‘liberate’ Chechnya

Islamic State militants vow to ‘de-throne’ Vladimir Putin and ‘liberate’ Chechnya
Islamic State militants have issued a threat to President Vladimir Putin, vowing to oust him and “liberate” the volatile North Caucasus over his support of the Syrian regime.


ISIS is now threatening Putin. ISIS vs KGB? I place my bet on Putin. He'll spike their leader's water with nuclear material. Yeah, that or something similar. ISIS is cock-a-doodle-doodling OR Putin put them up to it. lol

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• NATO meets in Wales
• Ukraine and rebels back peace plan, ceasefire from Friday 
• Helicopters bomb Islamist ammunition sites in Libya's Benghazi
• Rights group says staff go missing in Qatar
• Iran, U.S. meet as search for nuclear deal intensifies
• Al-Qaida leader says it has expanded into India
• U.S. preparing new round of economic sanctions on Russia
• Texas cops shoot mentally ill man armed with pellet gun until ‘he had no face’

President Obama will attend a NATO summit in Wales this week with 67 other world leaders. He’s trying to project strength, so the White House says he'll be wearing his toughest shade of tan suit.- Jimmy Fallon



ISIS CRISIS In Iraq Continues
Islamic State militants kidnapped 40 men from a town in Iraq's northern province of Kirkuk on Thursday, dragging the men into cars before driving off, residents said.

Vladimir Putin said today he hopes to have a Ukrainian peace deal by Friday. He's reached out the olive branch. And if there's no peace deal by Friday, Putin said, "I will crush Ukraine like bug under boot."- Craig Ferguson

70ish% of young Americans think same-sex marriage is as controversial as women wearing pants. Stick with this issue for a few decades, GOP.- LOLGOP



Republican Shenanigans

• Hannity regular Erik Rush: Obama setting up ISIS base in New Mexico to stage terror attacks
• John Boehner: Immigration Reform Could Happen Next Year
• Conservative Christians plan protest, boycott of Dallas Cowboys over Michael Sam signing
• Pat Robertson to 80-year-old who can’t pay bills: Keep tithing, get a job, sell your stuff on eBay
• On the Iowa campaign trail with indicted Texas Gov. Rick Perry
• Stephen Colbert mocks Fox pundits for wishing foreigners ruled America
• Scalia Once Pushed Death Penalty For Now-Exonerated Inmate
• US appeals court to rehear case on Obamacare tax subsidies

Scaring The Bejesus Out Of Kids
The publisher of a series of anti-terrorism coloring books for children is rereleasing them in the wake of the brutal execution of American journalists by Islamic militants.



An idea.  Give ISIS Cheney. Bush, and all the others who caused the Iraq war in exchange for the hostages they hold.  ISIS gets what they want, we get what we want and the Bush Cheney crime gang gets what they deserve. - TwoStones Tweet

WHY WON'T OBAMA FOLLOW DUCK DYNASTY'S FOOLPROOF PLAN TO BAPTIZE OR KILL EVERYONE IN ISIS??? - Top Conservative Cat



Lobbyist Patriotism
When you're a Russian company trying to manage U.S. sanctions it helps to have friends in the right places. That's probably why Gazprombank, a Russian bank hit by sanctions earlier this year, named former U.S. senators Trent Lott and John Breaux as its lobbyists.

Rock The Voter News

• Obama administration to brief members of Congress on Islamic State
• Failed IVs and confusion at Oklahoma's troubled execution: report

Another Loss To Comedy
Joan Rivers, the razor-witted comic and red carpet queen, died Thursday of complications suffered from minor surgery in New York City a week ago. She was 81.

Yes, We Have No Bananas
A severe drought has ravaged crops in Central America and as many as 2.81 million people are struggling to feed themselves, the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) said on Friday, though the region’s coffee crop has been largely unscathed.




The drug store CVS announced that the corporation is changing itself to CVS Health, and they're no longer selling cigarettes. The CEO estimates the company will lose about $2 billion this year because they're not selling cigarettes. It is part of their customer health focus. But you'll still be able to buy tons of candy in the candy aisle.- Jimmy Kimmel



Business/Tech News

• NYPD arrests 19 fast-food workers during protest for higher wages
• Top Koch Strategist Argues The Minimum Wage Leads Directly To Fascism
• Elizabeth Warren Slams Eric Cantor's Move To Investment Bank
• Obama names Google exec as new technology officer 
• A slow-motion disaster gnaws at US shores as sea level rises

The guys who think fast workers don't deserve a living wage are just fine with the Wall Street guys who crashed our economy earning millions. - LOLGOP



GOP Stuffs Media Coffers While Slutting A Candidate
Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick (D-Ariz.) doesn't have a head in the latest attack ad against her -- just a pair of legs, some high heels, and a lot of "baggage."

A glitch in the John Madden NFL game has accidentally created a player who is 1 foot tall. Another glitch accidentally created an NFL player with no criminal record.- Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Family Trapped In Trailer For 2 Hours By Unwanted Bear Guest
• Oops: College exams already had all the answers
• Surgery on ailing Great Dane yields 43 ½ socks
• Idaho professor accidentally shoots himself in the foot in chemistry class
• Washington state hunter mistakenly stabs himself with arrow

Time To Deflate Photo

Dragon Falls, Venezuela.

Peace.

Obama Sending 350 More Troops to Iraq

Thank you for dropping by All Hat No Cattle.

We had a gullywasher yesterday and again this morning, hence, no Internet.

I will have a new edition tomorrow, Thursday, September 4, 2014. Deep apologies for any humor inconvenience.

I do not want you to go away empty handed minded, so I have a few toons below.

Obama Sending 350 More Troops to Iraq
President Obama has authorized another 350 U.S. military personnel to be sent to Iraq, the White House announced on Tuesday evening.



After completely blowing the Iraq War, the media is BACK with "Is the president freaking out enough about Iraq!?"- LOLGOP

"Class Warfare is when the top 1% uses the media..."- John Fugelsang



Hey Ladies Sluts, You Deserve To Be Raped
A Fox News panel on Wednesday agreed that women needed to take “personal responsibility” for avoiding rape by not drinking too much.

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson says the solution to radical Islam is to convert or kill them -because, y'know, we're better than they are.- John Fugelsang


Crazy Christian: Put Gays To Death Like God Wants!
A pastor of a large Southern Baptist church near Chattanooga, Tennessee said this week that Christians would never repent for discriminating against gay people like they had for racism because African-Americans could not change the color of their skin...After spending about 20 minutes recounting the perils of homosexuality throughout history, Gallaty asserted that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God because of gay sex...

Hey, remember a year ago when some Republican pols were comparing ISIS to the founding fathers?  You don't?  Good. You're not supposed to.- John Fugelsang

There will never be hacked Jennifer Lawrence-style pics of naked men b/c if you want to see a man's penis he'll generally just show you.- John Fugelsang

Over the weekend a hacker got into Apple’s iCloud and leaked nude photos of a number of celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence and Kim Kardashian. Jennifer wants to sue the hacker for damages, while Kim wants to pay the hacker for his trouble.- Jimmy Fallon

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Time To Deflate

This Giant Crystal cave was discovered in 2000 by miners excavating a new tunnel for the Industrias Peñoles mining company located in Naica, Mexico.

Peace and see you tomorrow!