Obama Sending 350 More Troops to Iraq

Thank you for dropping by All Hat No Cattle.

We had a gullywasher yesterday and again this morning, hence, no Internet.

I will have a new edition tomorrow, Thursday, September 4, 2014. Deep apologies for any humor inconvenience.

I do not want you to go away empty handed minded, so I have a few toons below.

Obama Sending 350 More Troops to Iraq
President Obama has authorized another 350 U.S. military personnel to be sent to Iraq, the White House announced on Tuesday evening.



After completely blowing the Iraq War, the media is BACK with "Is the president freaking out enough about Iraq!?"- LOLGOP

"Class Warfare is when the top 1% uses the media..."- John Fugelsang



Hey Ladies Sluts, You Deserve To Be Raped
A Fox News panel on Wednesday agreed that women needed to take “personal responsibility” for avoiding rape by not drinking too much.

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson says the solution to radical Islam is to convert or kill them -because, y'know, we're better than they are.- John Fugelsang


Crazy Christian: Put Gays To Death Like God Wants!
A pastor of a large Southern Baptist church near Chattanooga, Tennessee said this week that Christians would never repent for discriminating against gay people like they had for racism because African-Americans could not change the color of their skin...After spending about 20 minutes recounting the perils of homosexuality throughout history, Gallaty asserted that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God because of gay sex...

Hey, remember a year ago when some Republican pols were comparing ISIS to the founding fathers?  You don't?  Good. You're not supposed to.- John Fugelsang

There will never be hacked Jennifer Lawrence-style pics of naked men b/c if you want to see a man's penis he'll generally just show you.- John Fugelsang

Over the weekend a hacker got into Apple’s iCloud and leaked nude photos of a number of celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence and Kim Kardashian. Jennifer wants to sue the hacker for damages, while Kim wants to pay the hacker for his trouble.- Jimmy Fallon

___________________

___________________

Time To Deflate

This Giant Crystal cave was discovered in 2000 by miners excavating a new tunnel for the Industrias Peñoles mining company located in Naica, Mexico.

Peace and see you tomorrow!

Eric Cantor joins Wall Street bank

Eric Cantor joins Wall Street bank
Former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor is joining the Wall Street firm Moelis & Co., the firm announced on Tuesday.




I support keeping the US minimum wage at $7.25hr - but only for Congress, because they already live off their tips.- John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Video Appears to Show ISIS Execution of Second American Steven Sotloff
• Relatives of captured Iraqi soldiers storm parliament: witnesses
• Saudi arrests 88 in 'anti-terrorism' drive
• Clashes between Islamists, rivals in Libya kill 31
• EU proposes tough sanctions on Moscow as Ukraine rebels advance
• Oklahoma police fatally shoot man who stabbed himself with a knife

So the Sunday talk show consensus is Obama is being “too cautious” on ISIS; they’d prefer he be reckless and foolhardy in Iraq. - Top Conservative Cat

The Beat Goes On and On and On
 A week after the guns fell silent in the Gaza war, Israel and the Palestinians seem to have little appetite or incentive for a return to U.S.-sponsored peace and statehood talks that collapsed five months ago.



I feel bad for congressmen who only have 4 more days left of their 5 week vacation. - Top Conservative Cat

Republican Shenanigans

• Texas cops ‘swarm’ school, police call for ‘prayer’ over miscarriage in bathroom
• Fox News guest: Feminists aren’t being ‘what God designed them to be’
• Republicans tone down Benghazi talk as elections near
• Jury to start deliberations in corruption trial of Virginia ex-governor

Surprise! Fidel Supports Putin And Still Hates the US and Europe
Cuban ex-president Fidel Castro lashed out at the United States and Europe on Monday, accusing them of war-mongering and comparing the NATO military alliance's representatives to the Nazi SS.

The biggest reason there's no GOP wave this year: 
People don’t love Democrats but they hate the alternative. - LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Obama visit to Estonia sends message to Russians 
• Another American in Liberia Contracts Ebola: Group

Next up on Fox News: How the C+ Michael Brown got in 3rd grade totally justifies his shooting over jaywalking.- Top Conservative Cat

Texas Voter ID
A U.S. court in Texas will hear arguments on Tuesday in a case over a law requiring voters to present photo identification, a move the state's Republican leaders say will prevent fraud while plaintiffs call it a veiled attempt at suppressing minority turnout.

Obama to delay stand on seat reclining until after the election; Ted Cruz vows to label whatever stand the president takes "seat amnesty."- LOLGOP

'Politically Correct' is the politically correct way of saying 'Less Dickish.'- John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• Fast-food workers to launch intensified protests across U.S.
• Scientists use E.coli bacteria to create fossil fuel alternative
• Russia has ‘severed’ partnership with Europe, says Germany
• US sanctions firms, individuals for aiding Iran

'Climate Change Science' is a sinister conspiracy by the world scientific community to convince people pollution is bad.- John Fugelsang

US Companies That Fled To China Having Second Thoughts
Foreign companies in China feel increasingly targeted for unfair enforcement of anti-monopoly and other laws and might cut investment if conditions fail to improve, a U.S. business group said Tuesday.



Maybe now that Eric Cantor's a banker House Republicans will actually listen to him.- LOLGOP

In case you haven't heard, there are nude celebrities all over the Internet. I never thought I'd see the day. Someone hacked "the cloud." The cloud is something I don't really understand. It's like whatever language Honey Boo Boo speaks.- Craig Ferguson

______________

My test run birthday candle lighting went terribly wrong.

______________

______________

Odd News

• Tucker the Sad-Faced Cat Is Adopted
• Penn State student gains rep as squirrel whisperer
• Dog turns on stove, which then sets laptop ablaze
• Prosecutor Allegedly Helped Convict Avoid Jail, Sent Bikini Pic
• Serial Plane Stowaway Arrested In Baggage Claim
• Delta Flyer Demands Plane Land Over Reclining Seat Fight

Time To Deflate Photo

If your kids complain about going to school, show them this photo.

 Children Climbing On Unsecured Wooden Ladders Heading To School, Zhang Jiawan Village, Southern China.

Peace.

The Ultimate NSA

Ted Cruz: ‘Kitty cat’ Obama should be more like ‘Russian bear’ Putin
Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R) took a swipe at President Barack Obama’s foreign policy decisions in a speech on Saturday at conservative think tank Americans for Prosperity’s Defending the American Dream summit in Dallas.


I don't know who's scarier, Ted Cruz or his Christian crazed father.


GOP POLL: Women see the GOP as "the guy trying to break down my door in a home security alarm commercial."- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Ukraine accuses Russia of 'open aggression' as rebels advance
• Afghan talks on unity government collapse
• Pakistani protesters clash with police, soldiers secure state TV
• Tripoli under militia control as Libya chaos deepens
• Islamist militia now guards US Embassy in Libya
• China Nixes Free Elections In Hong Kong

People who were certain the Iraq War was the right move are unsure of Obama's approach to ISIS. Kind of exactly why we elected him.- LOLGOP

Israel Throws Fuel On The Fire
Israel announced on Sunday a land appropriation in the occupied West Bank that an anti-settlement group termed the biggest in 30 years, drawing Palestinian condemnation and a U.S. rebuke.




Obama drones Muslims, doesn't pray to Mecca, attended Wright's church & supports Gay Marriage?  And you can't see that he's clearly Muslim?- John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

• McCain calls Obama "in denial or overwhelmed" 
• The Meaning of the Koch Brothers Tapes: "I Don't Know Where We'd Be Without You"
• Texas' Perry says disparaging tweet unauthorized
• New Jersey's Christie Not Having Success at Bolstering Republicans at Home

Fundraiser For Ferguson Cop Shut Down
After raising more than $400,000 for the police officer who killed an unarmed black 18-year-old in Ferguson, Mo., two online donation pages appear to have been shut down by their organizers without explanation this weekend.

If the GOP were "stuck in the past," women would appreciate it. Barry Goldwater was a big fan of Planned Parenthood. - LOLGOP

The REAL DEATH PANELS ARE GOVERNORS!
Twenty-five states have refused to expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. That leaves millions of people in the gap between being poor enough to qualify for existing Medicaid, and too poor to qualify for the subsidies available to buy private insurance on the health exchanges. Refusing the expansion is a political decision by Republican state lawmakers that will have a big economic impact for those states. What it will also cause, according to a new study from Harvard University and the City University of New York, is eight million people remaining uninsured, and up to 17,000 premature and avoidable deaths.



I like how people who claim 1 party lets the poor rip us off for millions tend to support the party that let the rich rip us off for billions.- John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

• Obama's Tan Suit Applauded By Fashion Industry
• Senator Says It's Time To Arm Ukraine
• Two California cities to give up military vehicles, amid local unease
• California bill would remove guns from potential offenders
• California to shift mentally ill inmates out of solitary confinement

Koch Bros Voter Data To Be Shared With GOP
A secretive data and technology company linked to conservative oil billionaires Charles and David Koch has reached an agreement to share its information with the “voter file and data management company” that holds an exclusive agreement with the Republican National Committee. This will allow the Republican Party full access to voter data collected by the Koch’s Freedom Partners entities and clients — and entrenches the Kochs’ network even deeper into the GOP.

The odds of living to age 100 will double by 2020, as will the odds of having to work at Walmart 'til you're 90.- John Fugelsang

REMINDER: As unions go down, so do middle class incomes.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

• Florida utilities fear the second-coming of ‘Green Governor’ Charlie Crist
• Most Americans Think The Recession Permanently Damaged The Economy
• Campaign Cash Is Buying Tons Of Ads
• Denny's Offers $300 Grand Slam Breakfast With Champagne In NYC

Corporations want to leave America to avoid taxes. 

Immigrants want to stay and pay taxes.

Guess which one the GOP considers "people."- LOLGOP

What actually trickles down:

1. Union membership
2. Middle class income
3. Quality of Bushes 

-LOLGOP

Dumbing Down The Media: Gannett Spells Its Name Wrong
Copy editors are a necessity in any newsroom, but sadly, the positions are slowly disappearing.

Recently, Gannett sacked a hefty amount of editors from its various titles across the nation, and the decision appears to have affected the top dogs. Gannett U.S. Community Publishing President Bob Dickey’s second quarter newsletter, released Wednesday, contained a major typo: Gannett was misspelled.



“There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t” 
― Jarod Kintz

How about a nail polish for men to wear that reminds them women are entitled to their own bodies?- LOLGOP



_____________

In 10 Days I Will Be 65. I'm Starting Early To Celebrate Because It Will Take A Long Time To Light All Those Candles.

________________________________________________________

lisa@allhatnocattle.net

_____________

Odd News

• What was fake on the Internet this week: Date-rape nail polish, ‘two moons’ and the return of ‘Breaking Bad’
• Huge Trove Of Nude Celeb Photos Leaked
• Motorcyclist brags to cops he hit 185 mph in chase
• Dog turns on stove, which then sets laptop ablaze
• 3rd tourist cited for flying drone in Yellowstone
• Ex-Myanmar beauty queen accused of stealing crown

Time To Deflate Photo

"Life breaks free. Life expands to new territories. Painfully, perhaps even dangerously. But life finds a way." - Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

Peace.