Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Rep. Matt Gaetz denies relationship with 17-year-old and claims extortion attempt

Rep. Matt Gaetz denies relationship with 17-year-old and claims extortion attempt
Rep. Matt Gaetz on Tuesday denied that he had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old after the New York Times reported that, according to its sources, the Justice Department was investigating a possible sexual relationship with the girl and whether he paid for her to travel with him.

It's really crazy when you stop and think of how many sex offenders are friends with Donald Trump. - Alex Cole

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Republicans are more concerned about Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potato Head, and Major Biden than the idea of Matt Gaetz being a sex offender. F. - Brooklyn Dad Defiant tweet 


Step Right Up and Get In Line To File Your Lawsuit Against Trump!
Former President Trump has been sued by a pair of Capitol Hill police officers for what they say are physical and emotional injuries they suffered as a result of the deadly attack on the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 by his supporters.

CDC Announces It Kind Of Embarrassing To Get Coronavirus This Late In Pandemic. - The Onion


Republican Shenanigans

All things considered, G. Gordon Liddy is having a substantially better day than Matt Gaetz. - John Fugelsang


Yee Haw! EPA Gives The Boot To Trump Appointees
Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Michael Regan announced Wednesday that the EPA will reconstitute two advisory panels that saw numerous members removed during the Trump administration, dismissing 40 Trump appointees in the process.

How about we combine voter ID and proof of vaccination into one single document, just to watch Republican heads f*cking explode. - Jeff Tiedrich


Approval Rating For Biden’s Dog Major Drops After Second Biting Incident Fails To Involve Rand Paul. - Andy Borowitz



The Death Rate From 2019-2020
The death rate in the United States jumped by 15.9 percent between 2019 and 2020, fueled by the COVID-19 pandemic, according to a study released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on Wednesday.

George Floyd had a preexisting condition of being a black man in America. - Andy Borowitz 


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Business/Tech News

Frito Lay Stock Soars After New York Legalizes Pot. - Andy Borowitz

Good For Delta Airlines! Now Stop Donating To These Politicians!
Delta Airlines came out in strong opposition to Georgia’s recently passed voting law on Wednesday, with CEO Ed Bastian writing in a memo to employees that the law is “unacceptable and does not match Delta’s values.”

Liz Cheney will be traveling to Matt Gaetz's home district just to laugh. - Jake Lobin





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