All Hat No Cattle: Congress close to coronavirus deal that includes stimulus checks

Congress close to coronavirus deal that includes stimulus checks

Senate and House leaders are on the cusp of a coronavirus relief deal that will include direct $600 to $700 direct stimulus payments and $300-per-week supplemental unemployment assistance, according to sources familiar with the talks.

White House Staff To Be Vaccinated First Despite Total Absence of Essential Workers. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Wonder why over 300,000 Americans already died from #COVID19 and the US has the worst pandemic response of any civilized country? It wasn’t just incompetence, it was actual malice by the Donald Trump Administration. - Rep. Ted Lieu

Pompeo Held A Party And Less Than 10% Showed Up

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo found out what happens when you send out 900 invitations to an indoor holiday party during a pandemic that has killed at least 300,000 Americans: not that many people show up.

The Tuesday event for the families of diplomats in high-risk locations was hosted by Pompeo and his wife, Susan, in Washington, D.C. As of Monday night, only about 70 people had accepted their invitations, and even fewer showed up...

It took over three months to reach the first million cases of Coronavirus in the U.S.

The last million took five days. - JRehling

Republican Shenanigans

Pence Refuses Vaccine After Learning He Would Be Alone In Room With Female Nurse. - Andy Borowitz

One Of Trump's Friends?

The Canadian fashion mogul Peter Nygard was charged on Tuesday with sex trafficking, racketeering and other crimes targeting dozens of women and underage girls over a quarter century in three countries, U.S. authorities said.

Kelly Loeffler’s net worth is between $800 million and $1 billion dollars. Yet, she’s panhandling on Twitter for $5 like Lindsey Graham at a truck stop. - Hoodlum tweet

I feel like the fact that after receiving classified briefings about COVID Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue downplayed the virus to the public and invested in BODY BAGS should have been a bigger a story. - OhNoSheTwitnt

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Ugh, I get so irritated with folks who want to blame Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats in the House of Representatives for not understanding that no matter what they write up or pass, it has to pass the Republican dominated Senate.
Blame the Senate Majority Leader. - Kathy Griffin

Rock The Voter News

Begrudgingly acknowledging the reality of gravity when the final apple falls on your head doesn’t make you worthy of any commendation. - Dan Rather

Well, Well, Well. If Trump Isn't A Legal Resident of Florida, Were The Votes He & Melania Cast Legal?

A number of President Trump’s neighbors in Palm Beach, Fla., are arguing that he is legally barred from taking up primary residence at his Mar-a-Lago resort after leaving the White House.

In the letter to Palm Beach officials obtained by The Washington Post, the residents cited an agreement Trump signed in 1993 to convert the facility to a private club, which they said bars him from using it as a primary residence. The agreement bars members from spending more than 21 days per year there or for more than seven days straight.

REPORT: GOP in Massachusetts have declared Donald Trump the winner of the 2020 Boston Marathon. - JRehling

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Business/Tech News

CDC Announces Children Will Be Last To Receive Covid Vaccine Because What Are Those Little Twerps Going To Do About It - The Onion

Google Is Giggling

Texas plans to hire Ken Starr, the former independent counsel in the investigation that led to President Bill Clinton’s impeachment, to represent the state in an antitrust lawsuit against Alphabet Inc.’s Google, according to a person familiar with the matter.

Whenever I see someone trying to parallel park I avert my eyes and continue walking giving them the privacy they need because I’m a decent human being. - Tomi Obaro