Monday, August 17, 2020

Jared Kushner defends administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic

Jared Kushner defends administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic
Kushner led a coronavirus response task force aimed at maintaining supply chains and devising a national testing plan.

Someone please give me a puppy right now. - Rex Huppke

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

New Claim That Enemies of U.S. Developed Trump in Lab. - Andy Borowitz

He Has Lots of  'Splaining To Do!
Postmaster General Louis DeJoy has been summoned to Capitol Hill what House Oversight Committee chair Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) is describing as an “urgent” hearing next Monday, Aug. 24. The hearing comes amid a widespread outcry over a variety of moves made by his administration which have slowed down the U.S. mail — moves which have drawn more scrutiny ahead of an election expected to have many ballots cast by mail.

Bill Barr Injures Back While Trying to Lift Mailbox Into Truck. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

If Kamala is such a ho, why can I only find nude pictures of Melania all over the internet? - DKnight10000 tweet

Nancy Will Be In The House
Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Democratic leaders will summon the House back in session this coming week to confront President Donald Trump’s attempts to undermine the U.S. Postal Service, she announced Sunday night.

Is there any reason why Robert Trump's cause of death during a pandemic is being treated like a state secret? - Eric Boehlert


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Obama Hurt By Trump’s Reuse of Birther Strategy: “I Thought It Was a Special Thing Between Him and Me” - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Harris Tells Trump She Cannot Send Him Birth Certificate Without Postal Service. - Andy Borowitz

This Virus Is Gonna Be Around For A Long, Long Time
More than one-in-five Texans who are tested for coronavirus are positive, the worst statewide rate in the country. But the number of people getting tests has plummeted in the last two weeks, which could understate how widespread the virus really is as schools reopen and hospitalizations and deaths remain near record highs.

How is it that we have every possible path to information and yet we are the dumbest people alive? - Elizabeth Hackett


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Another 1,029 Americans died yesterday from coronavirus. Some perspective: In mid-March, the U.S. & South Korea each had approximately 90 deaths. The U.S. now has 169,754 deaths. South Korea, with a population of 52 million, has 305. - Wolf Blitzer tweet

Business/Tech News

Don't worry, I'm sure those mailboxes being removed in Oregon are just being cleaned and painted before being dumped in the ocean. - Stephen Colbert

42%? Who Are These People?
Forty-two percent of Americans questioned in a new Gallup survey approve of President Trump’s job as commander in chief, a slight improvement over a 38 percent reading during the month of June.
At the same time, an overwhelming percentage of Americans disapprove of Trump’s handling of race relations and the novel coronavirus, two issues at the center of the political debate less than three months until the November presidential election.

Perhaps the most chilling aspect of the last four years is knowing that 40% of this country can’t recognize evil when it is staring them in the face. - David Heller

Face masks should have a reflective surface, so people who aren’t wearing them can see what assholes they are. - Conan O'Brien



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo
Because we all need to see baby owls right now.


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