Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Huge Thanks to Trump's Family

Melania Trump gives Republican convention a ratings boost with 18 million TV viewers
...The audience for the second night of the Democratic National Convention held last week was 19.2 million viewers. Over four nights, the DNC’s presentation averaged 21.6 million viewers.

Hundreds of R.N.C. Attendees Test Positive for Delusion. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

"My father does NOT run away from challenges...Fighting for America is something my father would sacrifice anything for." -- Tiffany trump, daughter of Cadet Bonespurs, afraid of ramps and water.

One of Those "Very Fine People" Got Arrested In Kenosha Shooting
A 17-year-old Illinois resident connected to an overnight shooting during a protest in Kenosha, Wisconsin, was taken into custody Wednesday morning, according to police in Antioch, Illinois.
Antioch Police said Wisconsin authorities issued an arrest warrant charging the teenager with first-degree intentional homicide.

Tiffany Trump Thanks Dad For Not Making Her Speech Go Straight To Voicemail. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Nothing in life is certain except for the fact that Kimberly Guilfoyle probably can’t breathe out of her nose right now. - Brian Tyler Cohen

Melania Holds Super Spreader Event In The Colorless Rose Garden
First Lady Melania Trump opened her RNC speech from the White House Rose Garden addressing the coronavirus pandemic and the struggles Americans have been facing...She spoke personally about her journey to the United States and becoming an American citizen. The First Lady also referenced her Be Best campaign to help young people.

The Only Colors In The Rose Garden Are People's Clothing

Access-journalism.Haberman’s latest in the @nytimes quotes the First Lady: “never make assumptions based on the color of a person’s skin” 

*fails to mention her birtherism. 

*And calls wearing a jacket that said “I Really Don’t Care. Do U” a “famous fashion faux pas”. - Soledad O'Brien tweet

The impressions that she allows us are fleeting and contradictory. Which leaves us to make only one conclusion: Melania Trump is a riddle that she doesn’t really want us to solve. - Karen Tumulty


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Rock The Voter News

Jimmy Carter had to put his peanut farm in a blind trust. - The Lincoln Project

Oh, This Is Rich:  US Denies Restricted Access To Abortion.
The U.S. government on Wednesday denied a United Nations panel's accusation that states have restricted abortion access during the COVID-19 pandemic, and rejected the notion that there is an assumed “right to abortion.” 

Guilfoyling is when you try to make a Braveheart style speech, but end up just scaring the horses. - Jeremy Newberger

4,634 people died of Covid in China. Total. We're at 177,000 and climbing. Don't call it the "China virus". This sh*t is the "Trump Mumps". - George Wallace


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Business/Tech News

Mocking Melania's accent excuses the fact she was the mother of the racist of birtherism along the father of it: Donald. Melania and Donald are a couple united by bigotry. They think they are America's King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. In reality they're David Duke and "Karen" - Dean Obeidallah

Oh Oh Oh, I Love Spicy Chicken But There's No McDonald's Nearby! 😞
McDonald’s is debuting two new menu items that will bring plenty of heat and something cool and sweet to customers in an effort to boost falling sales due to coronavirus impacts.
The fast food giant said it will add Spicy McNuggets and a Chips Ahoy McFlurry, complete with crushed cookies and caramel swirls, to its menu for a limited time beginning September 16.

To be fair, if I was Donald Trump’s son, I’d probably turn to drugs too. - Steve Redmond



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Luna wishes you all a Happy International Dog Day!


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