Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Stocks rise at Biden victories, central banks calm anxious investors

Stocks rise at Biden victories, central banks calm anxious investors
Stocks on Wednesday boasted solid gains after a string of major Democratic primary victories for former Vice President Joe Biden and a flood of global central bank stimulus.


Tuesday’s results are stunning. Biden won many states without ANY campaign spending. This is not "rigged," sorry, Bros, it's called democracy. - Frank Schaeffer




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Trump Screams At Pence For Not Praying Hard Enough To Make Biden Lose. - Andy Borowitz





What Are They Hiding Now? Trump Bans Press From Using Audio or Video During Coronavirus Briefings.
Five days after the Trump administration promised to be “aggressively transparent” about its response to the coronavirus outbreak, the White House ignited backlash and condemnation after it banned the press from any audio or video recording of its latest briefing on the public health crisis.


The best way for the White House to keep Americans from panicking about the Coronavirus is to stop putting Mike Pence on television.  - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans

If I were Donald Trump, I'd be worried that people are willing to stand in line for seven hours to choose my opponent. - Middle Age Riot


Raise Your Glass That This Biden Investigation Is As Successful As Benghazi!
Just hours after Joe Biden surged to the top of the Democratic presidential pack, Senate Republicans announced a new phase of their investigation targeting the former vice president and his son Hunter.
Senate Homeland Security Committee Chairman Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) told reporters on Wednesday that he is likely to release an interim report within one to two months on his panel’s probe of Hunter Biden’s ties to a Ukrainian gas company, Burisma.





White House On Lockdown After Television Hurled Through Window. - Andy Borowitz

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Many online Bernie supporters truly never realized candidates were going to drop out at some point and Bernie would need their support. - The Hoarse Whisperer


Rock The Voter News





Secret Service Protection Suggested For Biden and Sanders
The former press secretary for President Obama on Wednesday called for the Secret Service to protect Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and former Vice President Joe Biden after protesters rushed Biden’s stage Tuesday night.


Michael Bloomberg is out after spending $500,000,000 to win American Samoa.
To put that in perspective, that's about 75% of the entire GDP of American Samoa.
- Nick Jack Pappas





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Business/Tech News

There is not a liberal America and a conservative America - there is the United States of America. - Barack Obama





Can Twitter Make Trump's Tweets Disappear?
Twitter may join Snapchat and Instagram and soon have social media posts that disappear.
The social network said Wednesday it is testing a new feature for tweets that last 24 hours before vanishing — an idea the company is calling “fleets,” as in fleeting tweets, and that echoes the popular “stories” features on Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook.



Yeah, no, sorry. Not gonna do "My Corona." - Al Yankovic








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I'd Rather You Laugh Than Cry







Thank you so much!



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
A frozen home on Lake Erie. Beautiful gray snow.

Peace.


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