Tuesday, July 31, 2018

No Collusion! No Collusion!

Rudy Giuliani Stuns Fox News Hosts With Rambling Account Of Trump Tower Meetings
Rudy Giuliani baffled Fox News hosts Monday when he attempted to clarify comments he made on CNN earlier in the day about events related to special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.

Cop: sir, I pulled you over because you have a burned-out taillightRudy Giuliani: THAT HOOKER IN MY TRUNK WAS ALREADY DEAD WHEN TRUMP FOUND HER- Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

The good news is, the NRA opposes 3-D printed guns. The predictable news is, it’s only because, in this case, the NRA can’t make money off of death. - OhNoSheTwint

Bob Woodward Releasing New Book On Sept. 11. Sounds Ominous. 
The next writer to take a close look at the Trump presidency: Bob Woodward.
The celebrated journalist of Watergate fame has written “Fear: Trump in the White House,” Simon & Schuster announced Monday. The book is coming out Sept. 11.

[in a Jewish deli]
Customer: I’ll take a BLT.
Clerk: Sorry, ma’am. We don’t serve pork here.
Customer: (grabs phone) Yes, hello, Religious Liberty Task Force? I have a code red at Morty’s Deli on Main... Thank you, please hurry. I’m feeling EXTREMELY oppressed.- OhNoSheTwint

Gonna be interesting watching the NRA twist that right to bear arms no matter what into "but not if they're 3D printed and we can't make a profit." - Randi Mayem Singer

Republican Shenanigans

Good morning!
Today @POTUS’s Campaign Manager, and the man who handpicked Mike Pence to be Vice President, goes on trial.
It’s a totally normal time in American history. -
Andy Lassner

This Is A Real Headline: Judge Orders Trump To Stop Drugging Children.
A federal judge reportedly ordered the Trump administration on Monday to stop administering psychotropic medication to migrant children without obtaining permission from their parents or guardians, finding that the practice violated child welfare law.

Re-branding The Klu Klux Klan as “Religious Liberty Task Force" is fooling no one. - YS tweet

DHS Secretary Needs To Resign After Kidnapping, Drugging & Losing Kids, Parents, Don't You Agree?
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) on Tuesday called for Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen to resign over the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance” immigration policy, which resulted in the separation of migrant children from their parents at the southern border.


 Click here to meet C.W.


In the only abortion case heard by Trump's nominee to the Supreme Court, Judge Kavanaugh issued a decision that would have forced a young immigrant woman to continue carrying a pregnancy against her will. - ACLU

Rock The Voter News

Senate Republicans hiding vital parts of Kavanaugh’s record from the American people is not only hypocritical, it’s incredibly troubling. What’s in there that they don’t want us to know?- Sen. Kamala Harris

Welcome Back, Al Franken? Fingers Crossed.
Former Minnesota Sen. Al Franken (D) said in an interview that he misses his former job and that he is considering a return to public service.

Lebron James has done more for education than Betsy DeVos, more for charity than Donald Trump, and more for inner cities than Ben Carson.
Maybe Washington should shut up and dribble. - Tony Posnanski


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press



Business/Tech News

"If immigrants somehow get over the wall, the condition of our bridges and roads will keep them from getting very far," one wall advocate said. - Andy Borowitz

What? There's No Ginger In Ginger Ale?
Canada Dry lies to its customers with the name “ginger ale,” a woman claims in a new lawsuit.
Julie Fletcher filed a suit in Buffalo earlier this month against Canada Dry and its parent company, Dr. Pepper Snapple Group, for “common law fraud, deceit and/or misrepresentation, breach of express and implied warranties, and unjust enrichment/restitution”

My son just came home from robotics camp. At least, I think that's him. - Conan O'Brien



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

I don't like the way this Mongolian ibex is looking at me.


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