Monday, September 18, 2017

Republican's Make Last Ditch Effort To Punch Obama

Senate GOP tries one last time to repeal Obamacare
McConnell and his lieutenants will gauge support for the bill this week in private party meetings.

The new #GrahamCassidyBill will give Seniors all kinds of choices, such as "open-casket", "closed-casket" or "cremation." - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

It's tempting to just blame Donald J. Trump for retweeting animation depicting him committing violence against a woman, but there's something deeply wrong with a country that allows a person who does that to remain in office. - Andy Borowitz

Line The Walls With Lead!
The United States is considering closing its embassy in Havana in response to an alleged sonic attack on U.S. personnel in Cuba, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said on Sunday.

Republican Shenanigans

Not only should cannabis be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress. -John Fugelsang

Mueller Paranoia Growing In White House
Officials working in the White House are reportedly worried that colleagues may be wearing wires for special counsel Robert Mueller.
Mueller's probe into possible connections between President Trump's campaign and Russian election meddling has caused rising tensions between White House Counsel Don McGahn and Ty Cobb, a lawyer who joined the administration to handle the Mueller probe

WH staffers fear colleagues are wearing a wire for Mueller. Trump volunteered to personally frisk all female employees… starting with Ivanka.- Chelsea Handler


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Donald Trump boasting that he got Obama to show a birth certificate makes him the 1st man in history to brag that someone proved he's a liar. - John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

The Supreme Court ruled in the Hobby Lobby case that religious preferences don't necessarily have to follow laws.  Your move, Rastafarians. - John Fugelsang

Trump Son-In-Law Under Investigation By The House And Senate
Investigators at the House and Senate Intelligence committees and the Justice Department are examining whether the Trump campaign’s digital operation – overseen by Jared Kushner – helped guide Russia’s sophisticated voter targeting and fake news attacks on Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Trump supporters were really angry today that it looks like he was making deals with the Democrats and abandoning the border wall. They said that Trump never betrays anyone. Aside from Sean Spicer, Anthony Scaramucci, Reince Priebus, Steve Bannon, his two ex-wives, and that one daughter he never talks about. Aside from that, he never betrays anybody. - James Corden


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Business/Tech News

Voyager 1 left the solar system 3 years ago this week and still gets a better signal than an iPhone in my apartment.- John Fugelsang

Oh, Great, More $ Spent To Blow Up Stuff
U.S. defense contractor Northrop Grumman Corp (NOC.N) said on Monday it would buy Orbital ATK Inc (OA.N) for about $7.8 billion in a deal that gives it greater access to lucrative government contracts and expands its arsenal of missile defense systems and space rockets.

At home alone, no one here but me and Amazon Alexa. Says she doesn't want to talk. - Conan O'Brien



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

I hope the photographer survived.


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