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I don't know if Donald Trump will win the Republican nomination. But even if he doesn't, it's increasingly clear he's going to destroy Jeb Bush before he loses.
The debate over whether George W. Bush is to blame for 9/11 is very unfair to Jeb, who is fully capable of harming the country in his own way.- Andy Borowitz
The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam
- Syria's Assad can stay only until transition council: Saudi
- Saudi urges Iran to stop 'meddling' in neighbourhood
- NATO nations to keep presence in Afghanistan, officials say
- Eritrean dies after Israeli guard shoots him, mob attacks
- UN attempt to decriminalise drugs foiled
If 9/11 happened on Obama's watch, Jeb! would not being saying he kept us safe.- Tina Dupuy
Israeli Misguided Anger
The killing of an Eritrean man who was shot by a security guard and then beaten by an Israeli mob that mistook him for an Arab attacker has prompted soul-searching in Israel and raised concerns about racism and vigilantism amid a wave of Israeli-Palestinian violence.
Republican Shenanigans
- Trump hits back at Jeb Bush over 9/11: 'You're pathetic'
- Racist Signs Depict Maine Mayoral Candidate Ben Chin As Ho Chi Minh
- Rand Paul: Trump Nomination Would Be 'Disaster' For Party and Country
- Conservatives claim momentum to oust House GOP incumbents
- Texas defunds Planned Parenthood clinics, but Louisiana ordered to pay
Politicians who brag they've accepted Jesus as their savior generally just accept Him as their mascot. - John Fugelsang
Guns Laws Upheld
A federal appeals court on Monday upheld the core provisions of two gun control laws passed in New York and Connecticut after the 2012 mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School that banned possession of semiautomatic assault weapons.
Schools should not be gun-free zones; only Republican presidential debates and NRA conventions should be gun-free.- Tea Party Cat
Whatever you think of her, Hillary Clinton is about to get the same rare opportunity her husband got 20 years ago: become more popular as a result of being investigated by total assholes.- Andy Borowitz
Rock The Voter News
Prediction: During Hillary's Benghazi testimony this week, Bernie Sanders will burst into the room and shout, "This is all bullshit! Leave her alone!" - Andy Borowitz
Impeach Hillary!
If Hillary Clinton wins the presidency, Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL) wants to impeach her on day one.
Brooks made the comment in a recent interview with conservative talk radio host Matt Murphy on WAPI...
Someone needs to make a Clinton impeachment movie just for the bit where we find out what happened to the characters. - LOLGOP
I'm impressed that donors have contributed $20 million to Ben Carson when that money could have paid for a high-quality tin-foil dome.- Andy Borowitz
Business/Tech News
- Oil down three percent; tumbling gasoline adds to China, Iran worries
- Discordant Financial Messages From China Spur Global Unease
- Amazon and New York Times battle publicly over story's accuracy
- That drone you want for Christmas will likely need to be registered
Jeb Bush is right when he says 'my brother kept us safe' when one considers that by 'us' he means 'big banks and their shills.'- John Fugelsang
Hacking War Continues...
Federal authorities are reviewing the possible hack of personal email accounts connected to CIA Director John Brennan and Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson.
Tom Brady just did an interview where he called Coca-Cola “poison for kids” and said he didn't think Frosted Flakes is actually food. That story again: Do NOT go trick-or-treating at Tom Brady's house! “Who wants some raisins and toothbrushes?!”- Jimmy Fallon
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Odd News
- Man Dies on Aer Lingus Flight After Biting Fellow Passenger
- Plane returns to Los Angeles after fight between passengers
- 2 shot during Old West gunfight re-enactment in Tombstone
- Going Once! WWII-Era 'Grizzly' Tank Sells for $155,000
- Maryland police officer accused of biting testicles has left department
- Guinness declares the longest baguette at 400 feet in Italy
Time To Deflate Photo
Peace.
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