All Hat No Cattle: GOP Freshman: Our Way Or The Highway

GOP’s freshmen vow to keep pushing ultra-conservative agenda: ‘We own both houses’
Representative Tom Cole, an Oklahoma moderate close to Boehner, said the new conservatives should read the Constitution and realize “we don’t get to make the Senate do what we want.”

One snowball disproved climate change but 60 months of positive jobs growth proves we should take away people's health insurance.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

Asked if his knife attack on US Ambassador Lippert had links to North Korea, Kim Ki-Jong said "no, nonsense" while grimacing in wheelchair. - Ivan Watson - CNN

ISIS Destroying Ancient History
Iraqi forces pressed their offensive against the Islamic State group Friday, expecting to reach the outskirts of the militant-held city of Tikrit, a day after the extremists reportedly "bulldozed" a famed archaeological site in the area.

Republican Shenanigans

"Another scandal for Hillary Clinton — they're saying she used a private email address when she was secretary of state, which means the government couldn't archive and preserve her emails. Then Obama said, 'Don't worry, we saw them. We see everyone's emails.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Reports say Jeb Bush is seeking the right campaign slogan but let's not all suggest 'Fool me 3 times' at once.- John Fugelsang

New Jersey Lets Exxon Off The Hook
A long-fought legal battle to recover $8.9 billion in damages from Exxon Mobil Corporation for the contamination and loss of use of more than 1,500 acres of wetlands, marshes, meadows and waters in northern New Jersey has been quietly settled by the state for around $250 million.

"Alaska officially legalized marijuana for recreational use. I think they did this years ago. That's how the Palin kids ended up with those names, right?" –Jimmy Kimmel

If this Hillary email thing goes on a few more weeks, some people who hadn't set their opinion about her a decade ago may hear about it.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Ferguson Blacks Have A Right To Be Scared
This week, the Department of Justice released a scathing report on the Ferguson Police Department, finding not only a preponderance of racially-charged emails but also systematic discrimination against African-Americans, who received more than 90% of the city’s arrests, citations and jaywalking tickets, despite making up just 67% of the population.

Bureau of Labor Statistics announced unemployment down to 5.5%, though Sen. Inhofe says this snowball that proves those numbers are a hoax.- Tea Party Cat

Google & Ted Cruz?
When the Texas attorney general opened an investigation into Google’s alleged anticompetitive practices in 2010, the Web behemoth turned to an unlikely ally for help: tea party hero Ted Cruz.

Looks like we found the 90s economy on Hillary's email servers.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

I'm sure Obamacare will start destroying jobs right around the time the Bush tax breaks start to work.- LOLGOP

U.S. Demand For Commercial Vans?
Mercedes-Benz said today it plans to spend $500 million to build a new plant in Charleston, S.C., so it can assemble its next-generation Sprinter commercial van there, providing more evidence that the commercial van segment in the U.S. is continuing to get more competitive.

If you’re not outraged by something on the internet, wait five minutes. - JokeBlogger.com