Trump trial: David Pecker details secret catch-and-kill arrangement with Trump for 2016 election

Trump trial: David Pecker details secret catch-and-kill arrangement with Trump for 2016 election

A veteran tabloid publisher testified Tuesday that he pledged to be Donald Trump 's "eyes and ears" during his 2016 presidential campaign, recounting how he...

If someone wrote a novel about a president on trial for paying off a porn star and the first witness was named "Pecker," you'd hand that back for a rewrite. - Harlan Coben

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Aid for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan heads to the Senate for final approval after months of delay
• Russian forces make significant gains in eastern Ukraine
• Israel-Hamas war: Photos show tent compound ahead of possible Rafah offensive
• Israeli war fuels protests at Columbia, other colleges
• Omar daughter says she was sprayed with ‘chemical weapons’ during protest

I suppose PECKER SCREWS TRUMP wouldn’t work as a headline? - Stephen King

The Was ONE Pro-Trump Person Outside The Courthouse. ONE!
Former President Donald Trump lied about his crowd size (again) on Tuesday...He pointed out: “There is one pro-Trump person here & the main street along the courthouse is open to traffic.”

Donald Trump's cellmates are going to get so f*cking tired of hearing about presidential immunity.

--Jeff Tiedrich

Today, a 77 year-old man was revealed in open court to have lost all control of his Pecker. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

• 'I COULD BE THROWN IN JAIL AT THAT VERY MOMENT!' Trump's Latest Fundraising Email Touts Court Hearing to Raise Cash
• Trump Goes ALL CAPS Rage at Judge Moments After Lawyer Got Clobbered: 'TAKEN AWAY MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT!
• Fox & Friends Diner Moved to Tears Over Trump Hush Money Trial: 'We're Going to Lose Our Country!'
• Huckabee Sanders slams Biden education secretary ahead of Arkansas visit
• Witness In Bombshell New Trump Filing Says Trump Offered Pardon To Co-Defendant 'In 2024' — Even For 'Lying To FBI'
• Trump Posts Bonkers Criminal Trial-Themed Fan Video With Matt Damon Speech Trump Was Warned Not To Use
• 'What the F*ck Are We Doing?' Jon Stewart Slams Media for Covering Trump Trial's 'Most Banal of Details'
• Bannon Slams 'Performative' Jim Jordan, Says House Republicans Secretly Want Trump to Lose

Millions Cancel Subscriptions to National Enquirer After Learning Its Stories May Not Be True. - Andy Borowitz

CNN's Erin Burnett Promotes Melania's Cheap Necklaces

CNN’s Erin Burnett took a moment on Monday’s OutFront to give a “juxtaposition” of how Donald Trump and his wife, Melania Trump, are “spending their time” during his criminal business fraud trial.

“She’s out now selling a new jewelry line, a necklace for Mother’s Day, $245,” Burnett said. “She calls it, quote, ‘Her Love and Gratitude.’ Nothing on the websites suggests that the money raised is going to charity or anything like that. Do you have any sense what she could be selling the jewelry for? I mean, is this just money for herself? Money, to raise money for the legal defense where Trump’s been trying left and right and center to raise money. What’s it for?”

Before you get too high up on your horse there, Jake, Enquirer slimed Hilary over and over. They had her on death’s doorstep !! And you need to own that ALL of you in the mainstream played right into that. Because she had a bout of walking pneumonia?! I remember! 

@jaketapper. - Lisa Glass

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Rock The Voter News

• President Joe Biden to talk abortion rights in trip to Florida
• Joe Biden Taunts Rep. Lauren Boebert With 2-Word Message From 'Dark Brandon'
• Minnesota and other Democratic-led states lead pushback on censorship. They're banning the book ban

I like how Joe Biden never violates gag orders. - John Collins

Trump's Self-Inflicted Downfall Continues...
Former President Trump brushed off warnings he could be charged for keeping classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago residence, promising to pardon one of his now co-defendants if charges were filed, according to new court documents.

Four years ago today, Trump told Americans to inject bleach on national television

Sarah Cooper Explaining his Covid Cures

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Business/Tech News

• FTC bans noncompete agreements, making it easier for workers to quit.
• Tesla to lay off nearly 2,700 employees in Texas factory
• Gold falls again after biggest daily slump in almost two years
• UnitedHealth says ‘substantial proportion’ of Americans’ information hit by cyberattack, confirms ransom payment

Trump Demands Witnesses Buy His $60 Bible To Be Sworn In On. - Andy Borowitz

Remember When I Said That X Was Now Full Of Snuff Videos. Well, Here's Another One. Musk Is One Sick Puppy.

Australia's leader has called Elon Musk an "arrogant billionaire" in an escalating feud over X's reluctance to remove footage of a church stabbing.

On Monday, an Australian court ordered Mr Musk's social media firm - formerly called Twitter - to hide videos of last week's attack in Sydney.

X previously said it would comply "pending a legal challenge".

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese's criticism followed Mr Musk using a meme to accuse his government of censorship.

Here's a little slice of hope for us 

overwhelmed by all the idiocy.

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Thank you, Mateys!

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Odd News

• 4 solar flares simultaneously erupt from the sun in rare 'super' explosion
• Russian debris nearly collides with NASA satellite
• Bottles of cherries found at George Washington's home likely centuries old
• 9-year-old 'Seagull Boy' takes top spot in European screeching contest
• Skies over southern Greece turn orange as winds blow dust across from North Africa

Time To Deflate Photo

Flower delivery for you!

Peace.

'I Should Be in Florida!' Trump Absolutely Loses it in 8-Minute, Stream of Consciousness Post-Court Rant

'I Should Be in Florida!' Trump Absolutely Loses it in 8-Minute, Stream of Consciousness Post-Court Rant

Donald Trump raged at Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg and others in comments on Monday made outside the courthouse where his hush money trial is currently going on.

Trump Blasts Prosecutors For Talking Loudly and Waking Him Up. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• Russia warns the world is on the brink of a 'direct military clash' between nuclear powers
• EU ministers warned not to relax support for Ukraine amid requests for air defence aid
• Israeli failed to prove Hamas has deeply infiltrated UN aid agency, report says
• Devastation in Gaza as Israel wages war on Hamas
• White House Thoroughly Denounces Columbia University Protests: 'Blatantly Antisemitic, Unconscionable, and Dangerous'
• Rabbi at Columbia University Issues Stunning Call for Jewish Students to Leave Campus: ‘Cannot Guarantee Jewish Students’ Safety’

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said he was open to talks with Marjorie Taylor Greene, but "we would need an interpreter since only I speak English." - Andy Borowitz

What Will Russia Seize?
Russia now has grounds to confiscate Western assets after the U.S. House of Representatives passed legislation that would allow the potential transfer of seized Russian assets to Ukraine, a top Russian lawmaker said on Monday.

Putin Rejects Marjorie Taylor Greene's Offer to Enlist in Russian Army. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• David Pecker Testifies at Trump Trial He Had Two Email Accounts, One for Matters ‘I Didn’t Want My Assistant to See’
• Tucker Carlson Once Bailed on an Event He Was Hosting Over 9/11 Conspiracy Theory He's Now Promoting
• Trump Had To Be 'Jolted Awake' In Court — 4th Time At Least
• 'Driving Him Crazy!' CNN's Kaitlan Collins Notes Trump's Tiny Crowd At Courthouse — Says Trump Mad They Can't Get Closer
• Fox's Howard Kurtz Shuts Down Kevin McCarthy's Suggestion Hillary Clinton Never Admitted She Lost
• John Fogerty Aghast Trump Played CCR's Fortunate Son at Rallies, Tells Bill Maher It Was a 'Jaw Dropper': 'I Would Have Written the Song About Him!'

Trump Acquitted On All Counts But Then Wakes Up. - Andy Borowitz

Finally, An Intelligent Supreme Court Decision
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday declined to consider a request by Republican U.S. Senate candidate Kari Lake to ban the use of electronic vote-counting machines in Arizona.

The most unforgivable thing Marjorie Taylor Greene has ever done is make me side with Mike Johnson.
 - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• Biden Camp Trolls 'Sleepy Don' Trump And His 'Small-Time Thugs' In Blistering Memo
• 'He's Sharp As A Tack!' Actor Michael Douglas Defends Biden's Mental Acuity During CNN Interview
• Biden leads Trump among registered voters in new national poll
• John Fetterman Calls for Mitt Romney to Become the Next President of Harvard to End This 'Mad Season of Antisemitism'
• House Democrat Ro Khanna Says He’ll Vote to Save Speaker Johnson: ‘He Deserves to Keep His Job’
• ‘We Do Not Reward the Bare Minimum’: Democratic Rep. Tells MSNBC She Won’t Vote to Save Speaker Johnson

Obama and Hillary should show up at Trump's trial and sit right behind the defense table with hammy grins on their faces just to photobomb the courtroom sketches. - mynamehear

Methinks the Prosecutor Is Going To Draw and Quarter Trump, Metaphorically, Of Course.
A New York judge said Monday that Manhattan prosecutors can bring up several civil lawsuits involving former President Trump if he chooses to testify in his ongoing criminal trial.

STOP televising the lying pr*ck and his rants of bullshit.

Yes, I know: "But profits."  Blah, Blah, Blah. - Jack Hopkins

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Business/Tech News

• Biden marks Earth Day with $7B 'solar for all' investment
• Biden celebrates Tennessee Volkswagen plant’s vote to join UAW
• Tesla slashes prices amid slumping sales
• Sullivan blasts Biden’s moves to restrict drilling and mining in Alaska as ‘national security suicide’

Any oil company that can afford to buy off politicians to say they shouldn’t be taxed more can afford to be taxed more. - John Fugelsang

Please stop using my name to sell crappy trucks.

Check Your Greater Omaha Ground Beef, E.coli May Be Lurking Inside

A nationwide health alert has been issued for Greater Omaha ground beef products that may be contaminated with E. coli O157:H7, a particular strain of Escherichia coli that is known to cause severe intestinal infection in humans.

The impacted raw ground beef items were produced and packaged on March 28, 2024, with a “Use/Freeze by” date of April 22, 2024, and “EST.960A” inside the USDA mark of inspection.

If Trump gets to speak live on TV, why can't this trial be televised? - Michael Beschloss

I think Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal are two of the bravest people ever. 

To publicly admit that you willingly had sex with someone as repulsive as Donald Trump takes amazing courage. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

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So close! Only $1157 to reach the goal!

Thank you!

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Odd News

• NASA's Voyager 1 spacecraft finally phones home after 5 months of no contact
• FAA now requires reentry license to prevent spacecraft getting stuck up there
• Former NASA Engineer Says He's Invented a Thruster That Doesn't Require Propellant
• Colossal alligator halts Florida Air Force plane
• Medical workers ask bite victims to stop bringing snakes to hospitals

Time To Deflate Photo

Happy Earth Day. Here's a special place on earth, Studlagil Canyon in East Iceland in the Glacier Valley called Jokuldalur. It has the largest number of basalt rock columns in Iceland.


Peace.

NYPD: Man Who Set Himself on Fire Outside Trump Courthouse is Alive and in Critical Condition

NYPD: Man Who Set Himself on Fire Outside Trump Courthouse is Alive and in Critical Condition

The New York Police Department provided updates on the man who lit himself on fire outside a Manhattan courthouse where former President Donald Trump’s trial is taking place, saying that the man was still alive and in critical condition.

Trump's unhinged rhetoric will continue to inspire nutcases and the courts do nothing. 

Shocking absolutely no one, the insane man who set himself on fire outside Donald Trump’s criminal trial in Manhattan today was a Trump supporter who overdosed on conspiracy theories. - AmoneyRes

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

• World leaders urge calm after Israeli drone strike on Iran ratchets up tension
• US vetoes Palestinian attempt to gain statehood at the United Nations
• Republican Don Bacon Warns 'A Few of My Colleagues Would Like to See the Russians Win' Amid Ukraine Funding Fight

MTG stormed out furious with no comment.

Putin probably throwing champagne bottles out the window along with a few people. A good day for America. - Olga Lautman

SHOCKER: Moses Did The Right Thing

The House voted Friday in a bipartisan manner to advance a key foreign aid package, a significant step in sending aid to Ukraine and Israel and setting up a final vote as soon as Saturday.

In an extraordinary move, more Democrats (165) supported the measure than Republicans (151). The Democratic votes were necessary to overcome opposition from Speaker Mike Johnson’s right flank, who will likely only increase their calls to oust him.

Mike Johnson Calls for Exorcism of Marjorie Taylor Greene. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump Falls Asleep in Court Again, Scoring Courtroom Slumber Hat-Trick
• Judge Won't Force Prosecutors to Give Advance Notice of Witnesses Because Trump Can’t Be Trusted Not to Post About Them
• Judge denies Trump co-defendants' bid to toss classified docs charges
• GOP lawmaker blames ‘Gaetz and 7 useful idiots’ for House turmoil
• Fox News Anchor Reminds GOP Senator That Trump Killed His Border Deal
• 'Get Some Gumption': Mike Pence Called Out For Answer On Whom He's Voting For
• Trump lawyers say Stormy Daniels refused subpoena outside a Brooklyn bar, papers left 'at her feet'

The MAGA majority just got their assess handed to them by their own Speaker. 

Again. - Rachel Bitecofer

I Wonder How Many Jurors Will Be Threatened or Bribed.

A full jury has been selected in former President Trump’s hush money case, setting the stage for opening remarks to begin Monday.  

After nearly 200 prospective jurors were screened by the judge, Trump’s lawyers and Manhattan prosecutors, a total of 12 jurors and six alternates were selected Friday to hear the first criminal case of any former U.S. president. 

Trump Offers Each Juror $130,000 Not to Talk. - Andy Borowitz

Turns out Congress can actually get stuff done when Trump is tied up in court all day. - Kyle Keegan

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Rock The Voter News

• Democrats Save the Day for Johnson on Foreign Aid Bill
• 'You'll Still Have To Negotiate!' Dem Lawmaker Schools House Republicans on How Bills Become Law
• President Biden to deliver speech in Tampa denouncing Florida’s 6-week abortion ban

A former US president/current candidate is currently on criminal trial and when asked to describe her impression of him, a dismissed juror just said, “he was less orange and more yellow” than she had expected.

Less orange and more yellow.

You can’t make this up folks. - JoJofromJerz

And The Beat Goes On...

Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) declared on Friday that he is backing a motion to oust House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA).

The motion to vacate the speakership was filed by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and recently gained the support of Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) as Johnson is attempting to push through billions in foreign aid in the House.

Just a reminder that, yes, I STILL believe Anita Hill.

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http://www.wattensawpress.com/

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Business/Tech News

• Oil prices steady after Iran plays down reported Israeli attack
• Tesla Recalls All 4,000 Cybertrucks Delivered So Far Over Problems With 'Trapped Accelerator Pedal'
• Once praised, settlement to help sickened BP oil spill workers leaves most with nearly nothing
• Schumer says US will provide $6.1 billion to Micron Technology for chip plants in NY, Idaho

So when do Alex Jones, Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump start paying any of the millions they owe? Looks like f*cking never to me. - Kona Lowell

America: Where Hospitals Turn Away Uninsured Pregnant Women In Need
One woman miscarried in the lobby restroom of a Texas emergency room as front desk staff refused to admit her. Another woman learned that her fetus had no heartbeat at a Florida hospital, the day after a security guard turned her away from the facility. And in North Carolina, a woman gave birth in a car after an emergency room couldn't offer an ultrasound. The baby later died.

Can you imagine if Trump was jailed for a few days and had to come to court without his morning drug cocktail?  The horror. - Bill Johnson

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Odd News

• Antarctic Ice Shelf The Size of France Suddenly Jumps Once or Twice a Day
• There's a volcano in Antarctica spewing $6,000 worth of gold dust per day — but you can't get there
• United Arab Emirates struggles to recover after heaviest recorded rainfall ever hits desert nation
• Enormous snake discovery from ancient India was longer than a school bus
• 'I tried telling them to stop': Video shows people yank bear cubs from tree for selfie
• Drunk vultures rescued and released after hangover meal, sobering up

Time To Deflate Photo

Capitol Reef National Park, Utah.

Happy Weekend Everyone!
Peace.