Ebola update: Maine judge orders quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox

Ebola update: Maine judge orders quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox
A Maine judge has ordered a quarantine for nurse Kaci Hickox, who defied her Ebola quarantine in a tense standoff with state authorities.




Chances you get Ebola from a nurse: 0/300 million

Chances you'll die by gunshot: 1/10K

This has been today's Worry About the Right Shit- LOLGOP

BREAKING NEWS: Judge's rejection of nurse quarantine 'unfortunate': Maine governor



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Air strikes hit Kobani as Kurdish peshmerga prepare to enter
• Syrian air strikes kill over 200 civilians in 10 days: monitor
• Members of Congress demand to see Guantánamo detainee force-feeding videos
• Muslim men over 50 pray at Jerusalem's Aqsa mosque amid tight security
• Could gas deal signal Russia - Ukraine detente?

No Kumbaya Moment Reported 
Afghanistan's new president invited the Taliban to join in a peace process backed by the international community on Friday, in an unusual direct reference to the insurgents who have stepped up attacks aimed at bringing down his month-old government.



So we quarantine anyone who helps Ebola patients-- but only if they helped patients in Africa, where we really need them. Just good science.- LOLGOP

I don't want to ban flights from Ebola-stricken countries.  I have family in Texas. - John Fugelsang

No Costumes For You!
While Halloween's popularity outside the United States continues to grow, celebrating the event remains riskier in some places than others. And don't even think about trick-or-treating in Uzbekistan.









Republican Shenanigans

• Sarah Palin Promises to 'Bug the Crap' Out of Her 'Haters'
• Why Republicans Keep Telling Everyone They're Not Scientists
• Keith Ablow, Fox News Doctor, Calls For 'American Jihad'
• Jon Stewart Skewers The Koch Brothers

"I'm not a scientist."
-Republicans

"I'm not a Republican."
- Scientists

-LOLGOP

Policing the Police
Police in Albuquerque, New Mexico will undergo reform and be monitored for use of excessive force under an agreement to be announced Friday between the city and the U.S. Justice Department.

GOP Upset A Senator Put Some South In Their Mouth
Republicans trying to win a competitive Senate seat in Louisiana are professing outrage after Sen. Mary Landrieu, the Democratic incumbent, said race has hurt President Barack Obama in the South.




Rock The Voter News

• Obama fires back at Ebola policy critics: 'We can't hermetically seal ourselves off'
• Obama Seeks to Boost Women's Vote at Rhode Island Rally
• Sandy Activist Whom Christie Told To 'Shut Up' Says He's Not Backing Down

Iranians can vote but have no choices while Americans have choices but don't vote.- John Fugelsang

Teachers Are Angry At Time Magazine Art
Some teachers think that Time Magazine owes them an apology.
The magazine's latest cover story details the efforts of certain Silicon Valley investors to derail teacher tenure practices. Teachers unions, however, are taking particular issue with the story’s associated cover art, a gavel smashing an apple, and text that says, "It's nearly impossible to fire a bad teacher."

If you get a doughnut and a croissant together, it's called a cronut. The Hello Deli next door has its own hybrid called the Eboli. It's half Ebola, half E. coli. - David Letterman

Far Right Evangelicals Fighting Over Halloween
The Christian News Network reports that Kirk Cameron is coming under fire from other evangelical priests for his claim that Halloween is a holiday that Christians should take back from the pagans.



Business/Tech News

• U.S. Gasoline Average Below $3 for First Time Since 2010
• Exxon, Chevron shrug off effect of low oil prices
• Dignity Health to pay $37 million to settle overbilling claims
• Obama to Confer With Fed Chair Yellen on U.S. Economy

If you say you care about the Dow, the deficit, gas prices or inflation, you really have to invent magical reasons to hate Obama.- LOLGOP

Russia Drop Kicks Anheuser-Busch
Anheuser-Busch InBev (BUD), the world's largest beer company, reported earnings and sales that badly missed analysts' expectations on Friday.

Russia was one of the biggest drags on the company's profits. Sales in Russia fell 20%, contributing to a sharp decline in its European business, the Belgium-based brewer said.





Former major league player Jose Canseco accidentally shot his finger off while cleaning his gun. On the bright side, he's taken so much human growth hormone that the finger grew right back.- Craig Ferguson

_______________

Thank you Ramesh!

______________

Odd News

• Drivers scramble for flying cash on Md. highway
• Groom Leaves Bride After Her Wedding Joke
• Man Suspended For Using Robot Voice With Customers
• 'Corpse Bride' Leads To Arrest Of 11 People
• Human Skulls, 'Books On Satan And Witchcraft' Found In Connecticut Dump

Time To Deflate Photo

Happy Halloween! Active regions on the sun resemble a jack-o'-lantern in this extreme ultraviolet image from NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory, captured on Oct. 8.

Peace.

U.S. nurse defies Maine's Ebola quarantine, takes bike ride

U.S. nurse defies Maine's Ebola quarantine, takes bike ride
 A nurse who treated Ebola patients in Sierra Leone but has tested negative for the virus ventured out of her home in Maine and took a bike ride on Thursday, defying a quarantine order and setting up a legal collision



This quarantine freakout is enough to make me wish Republicans actually believe in limited government.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraqi Kurd Peshmerga Enter Kobani to Aid in Fight Against Islamic State Militants
• Hundreds of Iraqi tribesmen opposed to Islamic State found in mass graves
• Tensions flare as Israeli police kill suspect in Temple Mount shooting
• Seven Ukrainian soldiers killed in past 24 hours despite ceasefire: military
• Officials say North Korea to quarantine all arriving foreigners for 21 days over Ebola fears
• China calls on Japan to end jet scrambles

Sweden recognizes Palestinian state, hopes will revive peace process
Sweden joins Malta and Cyprus, as the third European nation officially recognizing a Palestinian state.  The British Parliament also voted to recognize the Palestinian state earlier this month, in a symbolic vote. 

Halloween 2007 Cartoon

BREAKING: Officials say North Korea to quarantine all arriving foreigners for 21 days over Ebola fears.- Tina Dupuy



Ebola Declining In Liberia, In Case Anyone Wants To Know
 Three months after declaring West Africa’s Ebola epidemic a global emergency, the World Health Organization said Wednesday that new infections in Liberia, one of the worst affected countries, appeared to be declining. But the organization also warned against complacency in international efforts to fight the disease.

Republican Shenanigans

• Republican Ballots Lead in Florida Early Voting
• A New Poll Soothes Republican Nerves in Wisconsin
• Pat Robertson shames terminally ill woman planning suicide for promoting liberal 'culture of death'
• Sarah Palin on CNN derision: Liberals 'want to crush us'
• North Dakota Supreme Court upholds restrictions on medication abortion

"Call it Empathy Deficit Disorder. Some Democrats have it,
but the disorder seems especially widespread among Republicans."- Robert Reich

Whitey Tighty Preservation Society
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), who recently began floating the idea of running for the presidency, was caught on tape joking about how well white men would do if he won, CNN reported.








No one is more willing to stand up to hero nurses and Sandy victims than Chris Christie, you Similac-sipping beta males.- LOLGOP









If you stinkin liberals keep Chris Christie from running for president comedians will never forgive you.- John Fugelsang



Millennials Have No Memory of GOP Congress
Democrats have lost ground, but millennials view Republicans with even more disapproval. It’s just that, among those feeling empowered to vote, the Republican Party will fare better.

#VoteProChoice because being poor shouldn't mean the cast of Duck Dynasty gets to make your reproductive decisions.- LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

• Obama administration issues rules to regulate colleges with career-training ...
• President Obama signs $8.7 billion food stamp cut into law
• Hillary Clinton could end up alone in Iowa
• Holder sees Frank Underwood — but thinks Dick Cheney

Complete media saturation, giant headlines, breaking news alerts--all to tell you the risk of you getting Ebola is nearly nonexistent.- Tina Dupuy

I want to thank every adult for respecting my sincerely held religious belief that they must skip Halloween.- LOLGOP

You'll Rip My Jesus Snow Plows From My Cold Dead Hands
Snow plows in Sioux Falls, South Dakota will be keeping their explicitly Christian theme, WRAL reports.

Mayor Mike Huether said that “unless…I get some Supreme Court case that says I have to” remove the explicitly religious messages that are painted on the city’s snow plows, he would not remove them.

We're keeping an eye on this Jesus character to see if he breaks the leper quarantine again.- LOLGOP

Business/Tech News

• These countries are getting killed by cheap oil
• Shell's earnings drop; new chairman picked
• Unemployment claims hold near 14-year lows
• U.S. Economy Up 3.5% in 3rd Quarter, Capping Best 6 Months in Over a Decade

The Great American Foreclosure Nightmare
Many thousands of Americans who lost their homes in the housing bust, but have since begun to rebuild their finances, are suddenly facing a new foreclosure nightmare: debt collectors are chasing them down for the money they still owe by freezing their bank accounts, garnishing their wages and seizing their assets.

For the first half of the Great Recession we only had economic growth because of Congress, now we have it despite Congress.- LOLGOP



Underfunding NASA Consequences
A NASA advisory panel said earlier this year that inadequate funding jeopardized the safety of commercial space cargo shipments, such as the unmanned Orbital Sciences Corp. mission that exploded this week over Virginia.

For Halloween, a woman in Vermont is handing out kale to trick-or-treaters. If you're in Vermont and you want to stop by, look for the house that's been set on fire.- Conan O'Brien

______________

_______________

Odd News

• New clue to the mystery of Amelia Earhart?
• John Denver bust missing after heavy-metal ball
• Man's own dog helps police bust him on drug charge
• Police: Teletubby break-in suspect faces charges
• Was Roswell UFO Crash A Secret Nazi Aircraft?

Time To Deflate Photo

Golden Bay, New Zealand.

Peace.

White House Hit With What Appears To Be Sustained Cyberattack

White House Hit With What Appears To Be Sustained Cyberattack
The White House computer network has been hit by what appears to be a sustained cyberattack, administration sources told HuffPost.

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.- Jokeblogger.com

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Iraqi Peshmerga soon to enter Kobani to fight ISIS
• Germany warns security situation 'critical' due to radical Islam
• Austrian drones fly high, over Ukraine and beyond
• US Embassy in Moscow Faces Cold War-Era Harassment
• South Korea spy agency says Kim Jong-Un had ankle surgery

DOJ + Census = NSA. Feel Safer Now?
Despite a nearly complete victory for the Justice Department in a watchdog group's battle over whether secret court opinions authorizing the collection of call records and telephone data from ordinary citizens should be made public, the Obama administration has lodged an appeal with the 9th Circuit over a single document - a legal opinion drafted by the DOJ that considered ordering the Census Bureau to turn over its collected data to the National Security Administration.




Get rich or die in massive debt by voting as if you're rich.- LOLGOP

Obama vs Netanyahu
The Obama administration's anger is "red-hot" over Israel's settlement policies, and the Netanyahu government openly expresses contempt for Obama's understanding of the Middle East. Profound changes in the relationship may be coming.




I'm not voting next week cause I think Congress deserves 175k for 112 days of work. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

• Boehner Goes Off On Obama After White House Official Calls Netanyahu 'Chickens—' 
• Laura Ingraham: Democrats punish ‘the black population’ if they ‘get off the plantation’
• Man Who Smashed Oklahoma 10 Commandments Monument Says Devil Made Him Do It
• Father Reportedly Pulls Son Out Of History Class Because Of A Lesson On Islam
• Chris Christie Deletes 'Bongs' Tweet
• Columnist Deletes Blog Post Calling Michael Brown An 'Animal' Who Had To Be 'Put Down'

Ferguson Locked And Loaded For Terrorists Protesters
Ferguson police brace for new protests by spending thousands on riot gear.
St Louis County police has spent $172,669 since August on teargas, grenades, pepper balls and other civil disobedience equipment




GOP released new campaign targeting single women. The tag line is “Men don’t make passes at women who vote.”- Top Conservative Cat

Nurses are the only folks who've been infected with Ebola in America. Until they infect someone, we can hold off on the internment camps.- LOLGOP




Rock The Voter News

• President Obama's Ebola comeback
• Man wearing Obama mask robs NH Dunkin' Donuts 

People running for re-election are distancing themselves from President Obama. He's very lonely. He has no close friends in the White House. In fact, an intruder hopped the fence on Sunday, made it all the way to White House, and Obama begged him to stay and watch football. - David Letterman

Big Brother Is Everywhere
DOJ says it can cut off internet, cable or other home lines, then masquerade as techs for warrantless search.








“Today is the birthday of White House dog Bo. He had a wonderful party at the White House — only three intruders … I believe Bo is actually now distancing himself from the president … It’s a bittersweet day for Bo because he was recently trashed in Leon Panetta’s book.” – David Letterman

I’m going as Ebola for Halloween. My costume will be so scary that by killing only one person I’ll manage to terrify 300 million people.- Top Conservative Cat

Gov. Ebolaphobia
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) has responded disdainfully to an American nurse’s threat of a lawsuit over her unreasonable detention by public health officials after she returned from working in West Africa....“Whatever. Get in line. I’ve been sued lots of times before.”

Cosmo magazine is encouraging female students in North Carolina to vote by offering a party bus to the voting polls that includes shirtless male models — just as our forefathers intended.- Conan O'Brien

Business/Tech News

• Small tax on billionaire boom could slow rising inequality - Oxfam
• Grocery chain sues Clorox for price discrimination
• Islamic bond market set to grow: experts
• Flying drones near stadiums could end in jail time

Things to do today: 1) oppose raising minimum wage.  2) call low-wage workers who need to go on food stamps 'lazy.'- John Fugelsang

Texas Has New Rules For Oil & Gas?
Oil and gas companies in Texas must now research seismic data for a given area before they can receive a permit to drill disposal wells, according to new rules from the Texas Railroad Commission.




It's National Cat Day. Your cat doesn't care. - John Fugelsang

___________________

___________________

Odd News

• How to Produce Sparks from Falling Water
• Suit: Breasts burned at Philadelphia hookah lounge
• Court tells UK man: Nudity is not a human right
• X-ray shows sick tortoise swallowed turtle pendant
• Here's an Airplane, Helicopter, and Car — All in One

Time To Deflate Photo

Arenal volcano, Costa Rica.

Peace and quiet.