All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Biden heads to Israel with Middle East on edge after Hamas attack

Biden heads to Israel with Middle East on edge after Hamas attack

Secretary of State Antony Blinken announced Biden's visit Monday after an hours long meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Biden's visit is to...

We’re the most powerful nation in the history of the world. We can take care of Israel and Ukraine and still maintain our overall international defense. - Joe Biden

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

In Iowa yesterday, Trump described America's flag officers as "some of the dumbest people I've ever met.”
I suppose "dumb" is better than the "suckers" and "losers" he previously called the lower ranks.
But tell me again how Republicans love the military. - Stonekettle

War Is Hell 💔

KHAN YOUNIS, Gaza Strip (AP) — The Hamas-run Health Ministry in the Gaza Strip says at least 500 people have been killed in an explosion that it says was caused by an Israeli airstrike.

If confirmed, the attack on the al-Ahli Hospital in Gaza City it would be by far the deadliest Israeli airstrike in five wars fought since 2008.

I cannot believe I am writing this. A hospital was bombed in Gaza. Palestinian ministry of health reports 500 dead. Hospitals are not just treating the wounded, they are also housing 1000s of displaced. Earlier today an UNRWA school housing the the displaced was hit. - Arwa Damon

Republican Shenanigans

Only in the GOP could someone who's spent 17 years in office and pass 0 bills be nominated for Speaker. - The Lincoln Project

Oh, Goody, A Second Vote Today For House Speaker!
Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) said the House will vote again to elect a new speaker Tuesday, after he lost the contest by more votes than initially expected—but it’s still not clear whether he has enough backers to win in the second round.

At this moment Jordan supporters are asking themselves why they're going through the rigmarole of a vote at all? Why can't a mob can't just storm the place and declare Jordan speaker? - Driftglass

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Rock The Voter News

Jim Jordan molests the truth like it's a young male wrestler, while the GOP looks the other way. - John Fugelsang

Hey, Guess What? Trump Has A Trial In London.
LONDON (Reuters) - Donald Trump's decision to declassify evidence given by ex-British spy Christopher Steele over the former U.S. president's alleged links with Russia led to the disappearance of two sources, Steele said in court documents made public on Tuesday.

That special time of year when you can’t decide if it’s regular depression, early onset seasonal depression, or current events depression. - adamgreatweet

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Business/Tech News

Today we found out House Republicans hate Jim Jordan as much as we do . - Palmer Report

LinkedIn Laying Off 600 Workers

LinkedIn is laying off more than 660 workers across its engineering, product, talent and finance teams, the employment-focused social media site announced Monday.

“Talent changes are a difficult, but necessary and regular part of managing our business,” the company said in a news release.

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on. - difficultpatty

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Monday, October 16, 2023

Pentagon puts troops on notice to prepare to deploy to support Israel: reports

Pentagon puts troops on notice to prepare to deploy to support Israel: reports

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has ordered a select number of U.S. troops to prepare to deploy in support of Israel, multiple outlets have reported.

About 2,000 such troops were chosen this weekend to be ready to assist with advising and medical support, The Wall Street Journal first reported.

I’m not happy with US boots on the ground.
This is how it starts
2000 now ….who knows how many later. - cheapsuits

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Saying Palestinian lives matter doesn't make you an anti-Semite. It makes you a human being. - Middle Age Riot

"Get away from me. You f-cking did this."

Liz Cheney to Jim Jordan, January 6, 2021.

Jim Jordan Should Settle This With A Wrestling Match!

Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio rallied fresh support Monday for his bid to become the next speaker of the House of Representatives, as his nomination gained steam after several Republican holdouts publicly lined up behind the Judiciary Committee chairman.

Jordan faces a crucial vote in the House Tuesday at noon. He needs 217 GOP votes in the closely divided chamber to secure the gavel.

Jim Jordan’s Speaker Bid in Jeopardy After He Accidentally Locks Himself in Bathroom. - Andy Borowitz

Jim Jordan Fails to Convince Republicans He Would Not Somehow Injure Himself With Gavel. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

If Lindsey Graham & Tim Scott

are the best choices South Carolina has for Senate

then the wrong states are legalizing weed. - John Fugelsang

Legal Experts tell us, "One Trump post on his social media site could lead to jail time for Trump." 😎

Sen. Tom Cotton Throws His Revered "Freedom of Speech" Right Out The Window
Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) sent a letter to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) on Monday calling for the deportation of foreign nationals who support Hamas.

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Rock The Voter News

The migrant flights to Martha's Vineyard cost Florida more than $600,000 dollars, about $12,000 per migrant, according to public records. The migrants all had permission to be in the United States, pending asylum hearings. - 60 Minutes

Dear God, A Third GOP Presidential Debate? Yawn.
NBC News announced that they will host the Republican National Committee’s third presidential primary debate at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of Miami-Dade County. The contest is scheduled to take place on Wednesday November 8th from 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. ET.

The Republicans would nominate Vladimir Putin for House Speaker if given the option. - Liam Nissan

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Business/Tech News

Did you see what happened in Poland? 73% of Polish voters came out and crushed the rise of right-wing fascism.

Tick tock, MAGA. - Jane of the North

Biden Joins Trump's Truth Social. This Ought To Be Entertaining.
The Biden campaign Monday joined Truth Social, the platform founded by former President Trump, pushing its message on a platform largely dominated by the former president and his followers.

I don't want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in. - Dan Regan

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Friday, October 13, 2023

Israel to UN: Northern Gaza Should Evacuate Within 24 Hours

Israel to UN: Northern Gaza Should Evacuate Within 24 Hours

LATEST DEVELOPMENTS: Hamas tells civilians to ignore an Israeli Defense Forces call for 1.1 million civilians to evacuate to northern Gaza...

24 hours? Nobody could evacuate that fast except Josh Hawley. - Liam Nissan

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

No Speaker of the House
No Army Chief
No Chief of Naval Ops
No Head of the Air Force
No Ambassador to Israel, Lebanon, Oman, Kuwait
No Commander of the Fifth Fleet
No one in 300 military roles
No State Dept Coordinator for Counterterrorism

The GOP is decapitating us from within. - Lindy Li

Man Who Started Two Failed Wars, Didn't Heed C.I.A. Warnings About Planes Crashing Into Buildings, Throws In His Two Bits

Former President George W. Bush warned against equivocation amid the Israel-Gaza war while declaring that “negotiating with killers is not an option.”

“My view is: One side is guilty, and it’s not Israel,” Bush said at an event in California this week in video obtained by Axios and published Friday.

I’m so f-cking tired of living in unprecedented times. - John Collins

Republican Shenanigans

Republican Intern Named Zach to Be Speaker of the House. - Andy Borowitz

Are They Cat Herder Whisperers?

Rep. Austin Scott made clear how he felt about his fellow House Republicans and the current chaos with electing a speaker in an interview with CNN’s Manu Raju.

Raju posted the brief segment on Twitter, in which he caught up with Representatives Scott and Don Bacon in congressional hallways, and each expressed concerned ridicule and frustration with their fellow Republican colleagues and their apparent inability to govern.

Kevin McCarthy Boasts That He’ll Win After Only 14 Rounds This Time. - Andy Borowitz

If you see smoke billowing from their private conclave, it doesn’t mean they’ve chosen a Speaker.

It means they’re burning the place down.

Again. - 7Veritas4

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Rock The Voter News

Sen. John Fetterman calls for “every one of my colleagues” to join and expel Sen. Menendez
“We cannot have an alleged foreign agent in the United States Senate. This is not a close call.”

Supreme Court Opted To Keep Act of God Under Wraps, Until Now.

A massive piece of marble fell at the Supreme Court last year in an area used by justices and their aides, but the news only became public this week.

The Associated Press reported that the incident, which could have been disastrous, took place as the court was already dealing with death threats and security concerns over the eventual decision to overturn Roe v. Wade after a draft version had been leaked.

Democrats: "Menendez should be expelled."

Republicans: "Menendez should be expelled."

Democrats: "Santos should be expelled."

Republicans: "Menendez should be expelled." - Middle Age Riot

George Santos Says If G.O.P. Lets Him Stay in Congress He Will Stop Using Their Credit Cards. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Elon Musk went from being the Henry Ford of our generation (admired carmaker, brilliant salesman) to being the Henry Ford of our generation (conspiracy theorist, Nazi-enabler) - Roman Sheremeta

UAW Trying New Tactics
United Auto Workers President Shawn Fain said in a fiery speech Friday that the union would shift its strike strategy by making its walkout plans less predictable and more financially painful for the Big Three automakers, though he refrained from expanding the work stoppage.

Why we'll never stop calling it Twitter:

"I saw a tweet the other day" is descriptive and brand-accurate.

"I saw an X the other day" sounds like you ran into that batch who cheated on you.

"I tweeted" makes sense.

"I x'ed" sounds like you're having a stroke. - StrictlyChristo

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NOTICE:

Deep apologies for any humor inconvenience yesterday. It was a whirlwind day starting out with no power and ending with a dilated eye exam, unable to read anything, much less my laptop, to notify y'all.

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