All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Marjorie Taylor Greene Honors ‘Patriotic’ Capitol Rioters on January 6 Anniversary

Marjorie Taylor Greene Honors ‘Patriotic’ Capitol Rioters on January 6 Anniversary

Former congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene honored the rioters who stormed the Capitol building on January 6, 2021, in a Tuesday tribute to them.

“I’ll never forget going into the DC Gulag in Nov 2021 and seeing the J6’ers who were being held over 22 hours a day in solitary confinement even though they had not been convicted and were pretrial. They were broken men, words can’t describe it,” wrote Greene on X. “At 9 pm, unexpectedly to us, one of them fetched this hand drawn American flag piece of paper and went up on the second level and held it high and they asked me if I would join them in singing the national anthem. Their melodic voices which combined their deep sadness and their unwavering patriotic conviction is a sound I’ll never forget.”

Five years ago today, Donald Trump urged his supporters to attack Congress and the Capitol over a proven lie. More than 140 police officers were injured.
Trump then pardoned the attackers.
He betrayed his oath and his country, and we won't ever forget it. - Hillary Clinton

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

I feel like if I go to bed too early, I’ll miss the invasion of Greenland. - Ian Thomas Malone

One Would Think That Trump Would Run Out Of Lies...But, NO...

President Donald Trump’s White House launched a website dedicated to the January 6 Capitol Riot on Tuesday that said the Democrats “staged the real insurrection” and claimed Capitol Police escalated the mayhem.

Its debut coincides with the five year anniversary of the riot.

George W Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump loves war the way only a draft dodger can. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Thinks He Can Ruin California
President Donald Trump declared Tuesday that a “fraud investigation of California has begun” and accused the state of being “more corrupt than Minnesota” without offering evidence or naming investigators.

Greenland Offers To Bail Out Crashing American Economy by Buying United States. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Please lord let me live long enough to see Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseth before The Hague for war crimes. - Sandi

It Is The Cruelty They Inflict With No Regrets That Is So Stunning...

The Trump administration plans to halt billions of dollars in federal funding for social services programs in five states led by Democrats following allegations of fraud, a Department of Health and Human Services official said Tuesday.

The move will freeze $7 billion for the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program, nearly $2.4 billion for the Child Care Development Fund and roughly $870 million for social services grants that largely benefit children. The states affected are Minnesota, New York, California, Illinois and Colorado.

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Business/Tech News

Donald Trump is forcing himself on countries the same way he forced himself on 14-year-olds. - Marlene Robertson

Hilton Expels Hotel For Refusing To House ICE Gestapo
Hilton Worldwide Holdings (HLT.N), has removed from its system a Minneapolis hotel that has refused to accept the bookings of Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, the hotel operator said in a post on X on Tuesday.

I will never understand, not for as long as I live, how January 6th, 2021 wasn’t the end of Donald Trump’s political career. - JoJoFromJerz

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Time To Deflate Photo

Rockland Breakwater Lighthouse in Maine. I'd lose a few pounds just walking to that lighthouse!

Peace.

Monday, January 5, 2026

US sharply criticised by foes and friends over Maduro seizure

US sharply criticised by foes and friends over Maduro seizure

The US seizing of Venezuela's leader has faced strong criticism from both America's friends and foes at an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council...Among US allies, France was by far the most outspoken. The deputy ambassador, Jay Dharmadhikari, said Maduro's taking by the US runs "counter to the principle of peaceful dispute resolution and runs counter to the principle of the non-use of force".

Fun Fact: If Maduro was in the Epstein files he'd be safe at home in his bed right now. - Liam Nissan

Maduro Requests Phone to Chat with Hegseth on Signal. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Pro-democracy Podiatrist Refuses to Give Trump Boys Diagnosis for Bone Spurs. - Andy Borowitz

I Wonder How The U.S. Generals Feel About This...
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced unprecedented administrative action against Sen. Mark Kelly, accusing the Arizona Democrat of “seditious” conduct and initiating a process that could strip the retired Navy captain of rank and reduce his military pension.

I’m sure the fact that Venezuela has the most oil reserves in the entire world is just a coincidence. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Karoline Leavitt: “President Trump has united the world.”

Me: “Yeah, everyone hates the motherf---er.” - Captain Obvious

Dear God, Save Venezuela From ~~Joseph Goebbels~~ Stephen Miller

White House deputy chief of staff and homeland security adviser Stephen Miller could be in position for a major role in determining the future of Venezuela — as the Trump administration works out how to “run” the Latin American country.

Who else remembers less than four days ago when we found out Trump sent teenage spa workers from Mar-a-Lago to Epstein's mansion? - Devin Duke

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Rock The Voter News

Walz being pressured to abandon his reelection bid feels very Al Franken v2.0 - The Politburo of Teabilly Mockery

It says something about how f--ked up the world is right now that when Meet the Press announces its guests I find myself looking forward to hearing what Marjorie Taylor Greene has to say. - Andy Borowitz

Where's The Beef?

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) pushed back Sunday on the Trump administration’s justification for capturing Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro.

“There’s been no evidence that the administration has presented to justify the actions that were taken in terms of there being an imminent threat to the health, the safety, the well-being, the national security of the American people,” Jeffries told host Kristen Welker on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

I worry that we’ve been so distracted by what a drunk Pete Hegseth is that we’ve lost sight of what an idiot Marco Rubio is. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

I do not want Venezuela
I do not want Greenland.
I do not want Cuba.
I do not want Canada.
I do not want Mexico.

I just want healthcare. - LePapillonBlu2

Hip Hip Hooray For Hilton!

You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

That’s the message the Department of Homeland Security is receiving from Hilton Hotels as the agency claims its officers’ room reservations are being abruptly canceled after using their government email addresses to book.

In a statement to its official X account on Monday, DHS accused the hotel chain of a “coordinated campaign” in Minneapolis, Minnesota, enclosing emails from Hilton reps, including one telling an officer, “We are not allowing any ICE or immigration agents to stay at our property.”

Scientists Baffled by Marco Rubio’s Ability to Sleep at Night. - Andy Borowitz

The best-case scenario for Maduro is if Pam Bondi left all the evidence against him on her desk. - Andy Borowitz

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Friday, January 2, 2026

Jack Smith: Trump ‘caused’ Jan. 6 riot

Jack Smith: Trump ‘caused’ Jan. 6 riot

The Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol “does not happen without” President Donald Trump, former special counsel Jack Smith told the House Judiciary...

Jack Smith: “President Trump was by a large measure the most culpable and most responsible person in this conspiracy. These crimes were committed for his benefit. The attack that happened at the Capitol does not happen without him”

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Doesn't sit right with me that Jack Smith had to explain his investigation of trump's crimes to trump's accomplices. - Covie

"Never interfere with an enemy while he’s in the process of destroying himself." -Napoleon

One Of The Sane Republicans...
Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.) on Friday criticized President Trump’s threat to intervene as Iran cracks down on anti-government protests, arguing that the move would be more about oil than free speech concerns.

Maybe we should put a wooden stake through 2025 just to be sure. - The Hoarse Whisperer

Republican Shenanigans

Please pipe down about your health-insurance premiums tripling, the president of the United States is busy shopping for marble for his ballroom. - Rex Huppke

"Republicans don't want the truth. They want validation of the lie."- Rob Reiner

FACT...No One Elected This Fool Immigrant....

Elon Musk seemingly confirmed he has resumed funding Republican politicians heading into the 2026 midterm elections, with the Tesla boss saying the USA is a lost cause if Democrats win.

“America is toast if the radical left wins,” Musk posted on X — the social platform he owns — on Thursday. “They will open the floodgates to illegal immigration and fraud. Won’t be America anymore.”

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Rock The Voter News

Fox News Reports Mamdani Undecided Whether to Institute Communism or Sharia Law First. - Andy Borowitz

Please Turn Texas Blue!

Texas state Rep. James Talarico (D) hauled in nearly $7 million in the fourth quarter of fundraising last year in the Texas Senate race, raking in more than $13 million since launching his bid in September, his campaign announced Friday.

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Business/Tech News

My daughter started playing the flute just two weeks ago. She’s terrible.

Anyway, she just turned down an invitation to perform at the Trump-Kennedy Center. - Captain Obvious

China's Electric Cars Are More Popular Than Musk's Electric Cars

China’s BYD overtook Elon Musk’s Tesla as the world’s leading electric vehicle (EV) seller in 2025, as Tesla faced declining sales for a second year in a row.

BYD said Thursday that it sold about 2.26 million EVs in 2025, up nearly 28 percent from the year before. In a release Friday, Tesla said it delivered about 1.64 million EVs last year, down around 9 percent from 2024.

“Don’t trust billionaires. They don’t get rich by finding that money on the side of the road, brother.”
—Stephen Colbert

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Time To Deflate Photo

2026 is the Chinese Year of the Horse, which means movement, confidence, and powerful forward momentum.

Have A Peaceful Weekend Everybody.