All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Report: NSA hijacked app stores to hack phones

Report: NSA hijacked app stores to hack phones
The National Security Agency planned to infiltrate the Google and Samsung app stores to plant spying software on smartphones, according to new documents published from files leaked by Edward Snowden.

George Stephanopoulos donating money to the Clinton Foundation is proof that Hillary had Vincent Foster killed.- Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

I would laugh at George Bush, but I see dead people. Thousands of them.- Kona Lowell

Cotton Defends Iraq War
In an interview published on Thursday, Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) declined to say whether he would have authorized the Iraq invasion given what he knows now and instead defended former President George W. Bush's decision.
"We should not be ashamed of the war we conducted in Iraq,"

Jeb:"Not a shred of evidence" anyone's civil liberties were violated by the Patriot Act. Also dismisses link between alcohol & alcoholism. - Lizz Winstead

Republican Shenanigans

Former Carly Fiorina staffer: I'd rather go to Iraq than join her campaign for Prez

Not All Republicans Jumped On The Texas Invasion Train
House Homeland Security Chairman Mike McCaul (R-TX) isn't indulging in conspiracy theories that the federal government is trying to conduct a military takeover of Texas through a training exercise.

They think being gay is a choice, but wrecking the climate is something you're born to do.- LOLGOP

Conservatives willing to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill if she is willing to produce valid photo ID. –LOLGOP

Rock The Voter News

Rand Paul filibustering Patriot Act on grounds that government should only spy on liberals and foreigners, not neo-Confederate militias.- Tea Party Cat

Meanwhile, In Texas
A North Texas city that a few months ago was in a drought so severe that it had to recycle sewage water for drinking ordered residents on Thursday to evacuate certain areas due to flooding.

Trading Places
President Barack Obama's trade agenda cleared a key Senate hurdle and advanced toward likely passage on Thursday despite the strong opposition of most Democrats.

Chrysler just announced that it plans to offer free college tuition to thousands of employees at dealerships across the country. Chrysler says it’s just a small way of making up for the PT Cruiser.- Jimmy Fallon

Business/Tech News

Jobless claims average lowest since 2000, lowest per capita of all time, which I'm sure GOP candidates will point out. - LOLGOP

California Water Rights Update
California farmers who hold rights to water that date back as far as the Gold Rush are bracing for their first state-ordered conservation in decades, as a record drought prompts some of the deepest cuts yet in the country's most productive agricultural state.

According to a new poll, one third of Americans believe animals deserve the same rights as people. The other two thirds have cats.- Seth Myers

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Taiwan Blue Magpies.

Peace.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

North Korea says it can miniaturize nuclear weapons

North Korea says it can miniaturize nuclear weapons
North Korea said Wednesday that it has the ability to miniaturize nuclear weapons, a key step toward building nuclear missiles.

Next time our leaders talk of bringing peace and civilization to some savage foreign country, let us remember that we have biker gangs.- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

We should remember the core problem with the Iraq War was Bush's intelligence.- Tina Dupuy

The Iraq War Messengers
As likely Republican candidates for president continue to struggle with the legacy of the Iraq War, and specifically with the question of whether they would have authorized a similar invasion if they had been president at the time, it's important to remember the media's role in the foreign policy failure. At a time of heightened patriotic fervor, the national press played a crucial role in helping to sell President George W. Bush's war to the public in 2003.

Bobby Jindal issues Executive Order to protect the Biblical definition of marriage as between a man and a woman made from one of his ribs. - The Daily Edge

Republican Shenanigans

So when do Republicans start saying the trillion-dollar tax cut that created no jobs was based on bad intelligence?- LOLGOP

Great. Another Pipeline Broken.
A broken pipeline spilled 21,000 gallons of crude oil into the ocean before it was shut off Tuesday, creating a slick stretching about 4 miles along the central California coastline, the U.S. Coast Guard said.

#BristolPalin's wedding has been canceled. The families will instead gather for a pro-life BBQ. BYOB (Bring your own bandages).- Kona Lowell

Rock The Voter News

Study: Direct Strike from Giant Asteroid Less Devastating Than Third Bush Presidency.- Andy Borowitz

Red State Abolishes Death Penalty. Yes, You Read That Correctly.
Nebraska lawmakers gave final approval on Wednesday to a bill abolishing the death penalty that would make it the first conservative state to do so since 1973 if the measure becomes law.

Hoping to quell the controversy over e-mails missing from her private account, the former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Wednesday released twenty thousand spam e-mails she received from Old Navy.- Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

BREAKING: All businesses in Los Angeles flee the city after minimum wage raised to $15. Unemployment rate rises to 100%.- Tea Party Cat

U.S. Justice Dept. Fines Banks
Six of the world’s biggest banks will pay $5.8 billion and five of them agreed to plead guilty to charges tied to a currency-rigging probe as they seek to wind down almost half a decade of enforcement actions.

Every time the TSA man completes the patdown I whisper "text you later."- John Fugelsang

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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Salt fields in Thailand.

Peace.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Patriot Act Effect

Republicans are at war with each other over the Patriot Act
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is digging in hard behind his insistence that we must extend NSA bulk metadata surveillance for ever…and ever…and ever…and ever — or at least until 2020. But now McConnell is running into opposition from multiple quarters: From a left-right alliance in the Senate that is determined to end bulk surveillance, and now, from House Republicans, too.

Weird. We survived for 225 years without the PATRIOT Act.- LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

You know a Bush brother is losing it on Iraq when he starts talking about how scary same-sex marriage is.- LOLGOP

Jeb Blames Obama
During a tough campaign week focused on the Iraq War, former Gov. Jeb Bush shifted blame for problems there to President Barack Obama, saying that Obama’s actions helped hand the country over to Islamic State.

Watching the Republicans defend the Iraq War is almost as good as watching them actually fight one.- Kona Lowell

Republican Shenanigans

Turns our the Mark of the Beast in Revelation was health insurance and bakin' gay weddin' cakes. Who knew? - TeaPartyPain Tweet

Imagine: A Highly Educated Country
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders wants to take from the rich in order to make public college tuition-free for everyone else.

On Tuesday, the Vermont senator will hold a press conference in the nation's capital at which he will introduce a plan to use a so-called Robin Hood tax on stock transactions to fund tuition at four-year public colleges and universities.

Unsuccessful presidential candidates should be forced to spend the next four years in a minimum wage job. As a society we need a deterrent like this.- Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

It's just a shame @POTUS joined Twitter too late to live-tweet the Romney-Holyfield fight. - The Daily Edge

The Zimmerman Saga Continues
The Florida man charged with shooting George Zimmerman had a “fixation” with his target and recently spent time in a mental institution, police said.

Amtrak's Locomotive Engineers Want Second Engineer At Controls
The union for Amtrak's locomotive engineers on Tuesday urged the railroad to put a second engineer at the controls of trains on the busy Northeast Corridor, where a derailment killed eight people and injured more than 200 others.

I just want to make sure that you're in a straight marriage, which has a 50% shot of ending in infidelity and divorce, because I have morals.- LOLGOP

Big Government Haters Under Big Government's Thumb
Texas lawmakers have made it clear you don’t mess with Texas when it comes to extracting fossil fuels. Even if you’re a Texan.
On Monday, Texas governor Greg Abbott signed legislation that prohibits cities across Texas from banning hydraulic fracturing from their home turf.

Business/Tech News

Jesus disdained wealth, said help the poor, chased capitalists from the Temple & was obviously funded by George Soros.- John Fugelsang

Spy War Update
The U.S government charged three Chinese professors and three other Chinese nationals with economic espionage and stealing trade secrets from two companies that develop technology often used in military technologies, the Department of Justice said on Tuesday.

We had rain this morning and thunderstorms last night. That doesn't happen much here in L.A. You could hear people screaming. We are so scared of rain here, you would think it had gluten in it.- Jimmy Kimmel