All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

‘Get the Fck Out of Minneapolis!’ Mayor Rages At ICE, Calls ‘Bullsht’ On Claim Officer Shot Woman in Self Defense

‘Get the F*ck Out of Minneapolis!’ Mayor Rages At ICE, Calls ‘Bullsh*t’ On Claim Officer Shot Woman in Self Defense

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey on Wednesday went off on ICE in response to the shooting that left a 37-year-old woman dead.

The shooting occurred earlier in the day on Wednesday as federal agents continued to increase their presence in the city. According to a statement released by ICE, the woman was “one of these violent rioters” who “weaponized her vehicle” by trying to run over an agent. The statement then called it an “act of domestic terrorism.”

My public safety team is working to gather information on an ICE related shooting this morning.

We will share information as we learn more. In the meantime, I ask folks to remain calm. - Governor Tim Walz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

“Greenland will be defended by NATO.” - German Foreign Minister Johann Wadephul on live TV
If those words don’t send a chill down your spine, you don’t understand what they mean.- Joman

The Oil Snatching Continues...

The United States has seized two sanctioned oil tankers linked to Venezuela in back-to-back actions in the North Atlantic and the Caribbean, officials said Wednesday.

When the US bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark in 1917, part of the deal was US recognition of Danish sovereignty over all of Greenland. - World of Statistics

At this point, I truly do not know if we will survive another 3 years of this. - Ashley Salazar

Republican Shenanigans

King Charles to Restore British Rule Over U.S. - Andy Borowitz

Minnesota Fraud Allegations Are Being Undermined By DOJ...

Former Justice Department special counsel Brendan Ballou testified on Wednesday before a House Oversight Committee hearing on the alleged widespread Somali fraud in Minnesota and turned the tables on the Trump administration. Ballou said he was “deeply distressed” by the fraud taking place in Minnesota, which has already resulted in dozens of convictions, but argued that the Trump administration is engaged in equally large-scale government grift.

Ballou, who was House Democrats’ witness at the hearing, also argued that the Trump administration is deliberately “dismantling infrastructure” at the DOJ that allows the government to investigate and prosecute fraud.

I'd rather Denmark take us over than take over Denmark. The universal healthcare, subsidized childcare, low poverty, and longer average lifespan sounds nice.

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Rock The Voter News

Donald Trump: “You got to win the midterms, because if we don’t win the midterms, it’s just going to be — I mean, they’ll find a reason to impeach me. I’ll get impeached."
If you needed some motivation heading into what will be a pivotal election year, there it is. - Robert Reich

And The Beat Goes On...

Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.) on Tuesday slammed the Justice Department for its delay in releasing its files related to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein required by law, suggesting legal action could be taken.

Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche has sought to justify the slow roll-out, pointing to necessary redactions and reviews. Still, Massie and other critics have pressed the administration to speed it up after the DOJ missed the Dec. 19 deadline to release all documents.

Thanks for the free 7-day trial of 2026

I’d like to unsubscribe from whatever the hell this is. - Jamie Bonkiewicz

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Business/Tech News

I just left the Venezuela briefing.

It's worse than you thought.

Oil company executives seem to know more about Trump's secret plan to "run" Venezuela than the American people.

We need public Senate hearings NOW. - Senator Elizabeth Warren

Obama Has 150 Job Openings For Chicago Residents

Former President Barack Obama is inviting Chicago residents to apply for new full-time career opportunities at the Obama Presidential Center.

The center is accepting applications for 150 full-time positions, which will include work in visitor experience, visitor facility management and security, among others.

I’m an Uber driver. I picked up a woman at the oncology center. She had a scarf on her head and looked drained. We drove in silence for a while. Then she sighed. "My husband left me when I got the diagnosis. Said he couldn't handle the stress. Today was my last chemo treatment. I rang the bell alone." I turned off the meter. "We aren't going home yet," I said. "Where are we going?" she asked, alarmed. I pulled into an ice cream shop. "I'm buying you a 'You Kicked Cancer's Butt' sundae," I said. "You aren't celebrating alone." We sat in the car eating hot fudge sundaes. She cried. Then she laughed. It was the best $10 I ever spent. - Crazy Vibes

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Time To Deflate Photo

Breakfast in Milan, Italy and I am so envious, love the sunglasses.

Peace.

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Marjorie Taylor Greene Honors ‘Patriotic’ Capitol Rioters on January 6 Anniversary

Marjorie Taylor Greene Honors ‘Patriotic’ Capitol Rioters on January 6 Anniversary

Former congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene honored the rioters who stormed the Capitol building on January 6, 2021, in a Tuesday tribute to them.

“I’ll never forget going into the DC Gulag in Nov 2021 and seeing the J6’ers who were being held over 22 hours a day in solitary confinement even though they had not been convicted and were pretrial. They were broken men, words can’t describe it,” wrote Greene on X. “At 9 pm, unexpectedly to us, one of them fetched this hand drawn American flag piece of paper and went up on the second level and held it high and they asked me if I would join them in singing the national anthem. Their melodic voices which combined their deep sadness and their unwavering patriotic conviction is a sound I’ll never forget.”

Five years ago today, Donald Trump urged his supporters to attack Congress and the Capitol over a proven lie. More than 140 police officers were injured.
Trump then pardoned the attackers.
He betrayed his oath and his country, and we won't ever forget it. - Hillary Clinton

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

I feel like if I go to bed too early, I’ll miss the invasion of Greenland. - Ian Thomas Malone

One Would Think That Trump Would Run Out Of Lies...But, NO...

President Donald Trump’s White House launched a website dedicated to the January 6 Capitol Riot on Tuesday that said the Democrats “staged the real insurrection” and claimed Capitol Police escalated the mayhem.

Its debut coincides with the five year anniversary of the riot.

George W Bush Celebrates No Longer Having Launched Dumbest War in U.S. History - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump loves war the way only a draft dodger can. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Thinks He Can Ruin California
President Donald Trump declared Tuesday that a “fraud investigation of California has begun” and accused the state of being “more corrupt than Minnesota” without offering evidence or naming investigators.

Greenland Offers To Bail Out Crashing American Economy by Buying United States. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Please lord let me live long enough to see Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio and Pete Hegseth before The Hague for war crimes. - Sandi

It Is The Cruelty They Inflict With No Regrets That Is So Stunning...

The Trump administration plans to halt billions of dollars in federal funding for social services programs in five states led by Democrats following allegations of fraud, a Department of Health and Human Services official said Tuesday.

The move will freeze $7 billion for the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program, nearly $2.4 billion for the Child Care Development Fund and roughly $870 million for social services grants that largely benefit children. The states affected are Minnesota, New York, California, Illinois and Colorado.

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Business/Tech News

Donald Trump is forcing himself on countries the same way he forced himself on 14-year-olds. - Marlene Robertson

Hilton Expels Hotel For Refusing To House ICE Gestapo
Hilton Worldwide Holdings (HLT.N), has removed from its system a Minneapolis hotel that has refused to accept the bookings of Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, the hotel operator said in a post on X on Tuesday.

I will never understand, not for as long as I live, how January 6th, 2021 wasn’t the end of Donald Trump’s political career. - JoJoFromJerz

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Time To Deflate Photo

Rockland Breakwater Lighthouse in Maine. I'd lose a few pounds just walking to that lighthouse!

Peace.

Monday, January 5, 2026

US sharply criticised by foes and friends over Maduro seizure

US sharply criticised by foes and friends over Maduro seizure

The US seizing of Venezuela's leader has faced strong criticism from both America's friends and foes at an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council...Among US allies, France was by far the most outspoken. The deputy ambassador, Jay Dharmadhikari, said Maduro's taking by the US runs "counter to the principle of peaceful dispute resolution and runs counter to the principle of the non-use of force".

Fun Fact: If Maduro was in the Epstein files he'd be safe at home in his bed right now. - Liam Nissan

Maduro Requests Phone to Chat with Hegseth on Signal. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Pro-democracy Podiatrist Refuses to Give Trump Boys Diagnosis for Bone Spurs. - Andy Borowitz

I Wonder How The U.S. Generals Feel About This...
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced unprecedented administrative action against Sen. Mark Kelly, accusing the Arizona Democrat of “seditious” conduct and initiating a process that could strip the retired Navy captain of rank and reduce his military pension.

I’m sure the fact that Venezuela has the most oil reserves in the entire world is just a coincidence. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Karoline Leavitt: “President Trump has united the world.”

Me: “Yeah, everyone hates the motherf---er.” - Captain Obvious

Dear God, Save Venezuela From ~~Joseph Goebbels~~ Stephen Miller

White House deputy chief of staff and homeland security adviser Stephen Miller could be in position for a major role in determining the future of Venezuela — as the Trump administration works out how to “run” the Latin American country.

Who else remembers less than four days ago when we found out Trump sent teenage spa workers from Mar-a-Lago to Epstein's mansion? - Devin Duke

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Rock The Voter News

Walz being pressured to abandon his reelection bid feels very Al Franken v2.0 - The Politburo of Teabilly Mockery

It says something about how f--ked up the world is right now that when Meet the Press announces its guests I find myself looking forward to hearing what Marjorie Taylor Greene has to say. - Andy Borowitz

Where's The Beef?

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) pushed back Sunday on the Trump administration’s justification for capturing Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro.

“There’s been no evidence that the administration has presented to justify the actions that were taken in terms of there being an imminent threat to the health, the safety, the well-being, the national security of the American people,” Jeffries told host Kristen Welker on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

I worry that we’ve been so distracted by what a drunk Pete Hegseth is that we’ve lost sight of what an idiot Marco Rubio is. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

I do not want Venezuela
I do not want Greenland.
I do not want Cuba.
I do not want Canada.
I do not want Mexico.

I just want healthcare. - LePapillonBlu2

Hip Hip Hooray For Hilton!

You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

That’s the message the Department of Homeland Security is receiving from Hilton Hotels as the agency claims its officers’ room reservations are being abruptly canceled after using their government email addresses to book.

In a statement to its official X account on Monday, DHS accused the hotel chain of a “coordinated campaign” in Minneapolis, Minnesota, enclosing emails from Hilton reps, including one telling an officer, “We are not allowing any ICE or immigration agents to stay at our property.”

Scientists Baffled by Marco Rubio’s Ability to Sleep at Night. - Andy Borowitz

The best-case scenario for Maduro is if Pam Bondi left all the evidence against him on her desk. - Andy Borowitz

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