DOJ seizes millions in ransom paid by Colonial Pipeline

DOJ seizes millions in ransom paid by Colonial Pipeline

The Justice Department on Monday announced it has successfully seized millions of dollars in cryptocurrency Colonial Pipeline paid to the cyber criminal group DarkSide following last month's ransomware attack that led the pipeline to briefly shut down its operations, according to a seizure warrant unsealed Monday afternoon.

One DUI and you lose your license, which makes sense.

One insurrection, you just get to go on making speeches until you launch another one. - LOLGOP

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Video appears to show Oregon Republican telling protesters how to enter state Capitol
• No. 2 Capitol Police official resigns amid turmoil at department
• U.S. federal judge overturns California's ban on assault weapons

Putin Says He Has No Intention of Reinstating Trump. - Andy Borowitz

Sexual Abuser Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

Former President Trump is launching a speaking tour with former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly that will aim to “provide a never before heard inside view of his administration.”

The series, dubbed “The History Tour,” will feature four live conversations across the country between Trump and O’Reilly in December.

To states threatening to secede:

Don't let the border hit your ass on the way out. - Middle Age Riot

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Liz Cheney: GOP Members of Congress Told Her They Voted NOT to Impeach Trump Due to Personal Security Concerns
• Chris Wallace Confronts Lewandowski on 2020 Election: ‘Don’t Blame This on the Media, You Had Your Day in Court and You Lost’
• Stormy Daniels Signals Willingness to Cooperate With Trump Probe: 'Terrifying' That Michael Cohen Could Go to Jail While the President is 'Above the Law'
• Trump Rages Against Mark Zuckerberg: He Used to Have Dinner With Me and Tell Me I Was No. 1 on Facebook and 'All This Crap'
• Meghan McCain Torches the Left for Attacking Manchin: 'Do Democrats Have to Bend the Knee to the Squad' Like GOP Does to Trump?
• Trump Says He'll Consider Dumping Pence For DeSantis For Potential 2024 Run
• Trump Accuses Fauci of Being 'In the Pocket of China'
• Trump bought into idea that Clinton, Obama would replace Biden: book
• Roger Stone claims Steve Bannon blackmailed Trump to receive his pardon

Raise your hand if you'd like to see Josh Hawley, Mo Brooks, Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar and Lauren Boebert testify under oath in front of Congress on live television for 11 straight hours to explain how the dipsh*ts with the zip ties found out where everybody's secure locations were. - Jeff Tiedrich

 

Homophobe's Complaints Backfire. LOL.
A Texas bakery was "overwhelmed" with supporters and well-wishers last week after facing backlash for posting a cookie in honor of Pride Month in the U.S. 

What is taking Fox News so long to blame polio on Jonas Salk? - Andy Borowitz

 

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Rock The Voter News

• US vaccinations plunge, endangering Biden's July 4th goal
• Rep. Bowman calls Manchin ‘the new Mitch McConnell’
• Kamala Harris to Potential Migrants: ‘Do Not Come’

Joe Manchin Denies Rumor That He Is A Democrat. - Andy Borowitz

 

Republicans Continue To Eat Their Own
The Georgia Republican Party passed a resolution on Saturday to censure Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger (R) after he refused to act on former President Trump’s false claims of election fraud in the state, despite mounting pressure.

If Dems don't abolish the filibuster, we might as well go back to calling Mitch McConnell Majority Leader. - Robert Reich

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Business/Tech News

• Yellen says higher interest rates would be a 'plus'
• Chip shortage could worsen after COVID-19 outbreak shuts down company in Taiwan
• Trump Calls for an End to Bitcoin Mania: It 'Just Seems Like a Scam'
• Trump on Getting People Back to Work: Surprised That Employees Aren't More Loyal to Employers

I really think Facebook is hoping he'll die in the next 2 years and then they won't have to think about it anymore. - BlackKnight10K tweet

 

Rocket To Be Manned By Bezos & Brother

Just 15 days after resigning his post as CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos is heading to outer space.

In an Instagram post Monday, the business titan announced that he and his brother, Mark Bezos, will be onboard the inaugural flight for his space company

#BREAKING 

Recording between Rudy Giuliani and Ukraine official reveals outright 'quid pro quo'

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Odd News

• Annular solar eclipse visible at sunrise over Boston area on June 10
• MIT Engineers Have Discovered a Completely New Way of Generating Electricity
• 'The worst kind of human conduct': Florida woman sent to prison for fake GoFundMe account to benefit families of triple-murder victims
• Overdue book returned decades late to library in the wrong country
• Man stands on Swiss ball, slices 59 grapes to retake world record

Time To Deflate Photo

A jungle beach entrance in Tulum, Mexico. The little sign says, Ven a la luz, or come to light in English..

Peace.

Facebook suspending Trump until at least 2023

Facebook suspending Trump until at least 2023

Facebook announced Friday that it is suspending former President Donald Trump until Jan. 7, 2023, a full two years after he was first barred from the platform.

After that date, Facebook will evaluate whether the "risk to public safety" of restoring Trump's account has abated.

It’s only a two year ban from Facebook if you try to incite a mob to overthrow the US Government. - Tim Hannan

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Mike Pence On Trump and Capitol Riot: 'I Don't Know If We'll Ever See Eye To Eye On That Day'
• Capitol rioter who accused cops of 'protecting pedophiles' served prison time for raping a 14-year-old girl
• Capitol riot caused nearly $1.5 million in damage, federal prosecutors say
• Vet's Microphone Cut During Speech When He Started Discussing Black Origins of Memorial Day

Trump Banned By SpellCheck. - Andy Borowitz

 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Officials in Surry County, North Carolina, voted to remove Coca-Cola machines from all government facilities in response to the beverage company CEO's remarks about Georgia's controversial new voting law.

The ban passed during a Board of Commissioners meeting on May 17 with a 3-2 vote as a direct response to Coca-Cola CEO James Quincey's comments calling the voting law "unacceptable" and "a step backwards."

Today,

1. Matt Gaetz gets to question Don McGahn about obstruction of justice,

2. Irony shoots up behind a Motel 6. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

• Republicans Say Election Fraud Theories Made GOP Voters Stay Home In New Mexico Special Election
• Trump Threatens PA Legislators: 'No Way' They'll Be Reelected If They Don't Follow Arizona's Lead and Do 'Full Forensic Audit' of Election
• Trump's new Hillary: Conservatives launch war on Fauci ahead of revived MAGA rallies
• Trump RAGES at Facebook Suspending Him in Blistering Statement That Won't Be On Facebook
• Meghan McCain Accuses Dr. Fauci of Seeking Fame By Posing for Splashy Magazine Covers: He 'Wanted to Be a Kardashian'
• Allen West resigns as chair of Texas Republican Party

Tucker Carlson Claims New Evidence Indicates Virus Escaped From Hillary’s Lab. - Andy Borowitz

 

Hey, Look, A Republican Coward!
Republican Rep. Mo Brooks is avoiding a lawsuit from his Democratic colleague Rep. Eric Swalwell that seeks to hold him accountable for the January 6 Capitol insurrection -- so much so that Swalwell's attorneys hired a private investigator to find him.

Imagine

if those the Capitol rioters

had gotten the chance 

to physically beat Mike Pence, 

how much more he'd be praising Trump. - John Fugelsang

 

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The Bidens took a bike ride today. That shouldn’t be news! Except picture Donald & Melania on bikes together & what she'd be trying to jam into his spokes to get him to fly over the handlebars. - Bette Midler tweet

 

Rock The Voter News

• Biden Drops Corporate Tax Hike, Halves Proposed Infrastructure Spending in Concession to GOP
• Psaki Bristles at Reporter For Asking What Makes Biden 'Effective President' — Aside From That Whole Global Pandemic Thing
• Manchin offers little comfort to frustrated Democrats

Republicans like Scarborough or Paul Ryan or Reagan would still be bad f*cking deal. Just because something isn't as bad as Trump doesn't mean it won't be bad. The cult of Reagan led to the cult of Trump.. - Phillip Fry

Millions Ask Facebook To Ban Their Relatives - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

• Unemployment Falls More Than Expected in May, Number of Jobs Created Lower Than Expected
• G-7 close to deal for global minimum tax rate of at least 15 percent: report
• Where to get free doughnuts on National Doughnut Day
• Fisher-Price recalls baby Glide Soothers after deaths of four infants

The three months before Biden took office, the economy created 60,000 new jobs a month.

The four months since then, it's created 530,000 new jobs a month.

Next question. - Ronald Klain

Florida Is Cruising For A Bruising 

US. officials say Florida's lawsuit against the federal government over conditions for cruise lines to resume sailing could threaten plans to restart cruising in Alaska.

Florida sued the Biden administration to throw out requirements, called a conditional sailing order, that were imposed on cruise lines before they can sail in U.S. water for the first time since March 2020.

The first thing that happens in the afterlife is I make you sign a non-disclosure agreement. - The TweetOfGod

 

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Odd News

• Covered in Martian Muck, NASA's InSight Lander Tries to Tidy Itself Up
• Aliens likely aren't visiting Earth, but scientists believe they're out there. Here's how they're searching for intelligent life.
• Scientists Successfully Entangled Quantum 'Memories'. What?
• 'Among Us'-shaped McNugget sells for nearly $100,000
• Driver who got stuck on golf course was following GPS

Time To Deflate Photo

The Nile River seen from the International Space Station to remind us how miniscule we really are.

Peace.

Biden says he is 'looking closely' at retaliation over Russian-linked cyberattack

Biden says he is 'looking closely' at retaliation over Russian-linked cyberattack

President Joe Biden said Wednesday that he was examining whether the U.S. would retaliate for a cyberattack linked to Russian-based hackers targeting the country's largest meat producer...

The largest meatpacker in the world was shut down by an attack from a Russian group of cyber hackers.

So, turns out it wasn't Biden coming for conservatives' burgers - it was Putin. - Wallis Weaver

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• U.S. to give ransomware hacks similar priority as terrorism, official says
• Former Treasury official sentenced to prison for leaking documents related to Russia and Paul Manafort
• Officer Injured in Capitol Riot Hammers McConnell on 'Disgraceful' Opposition to 1/6 Commission: 'Absolutely Sickened'
• Florida Gov. DeSantis vetoes mental health funding for Pulse shooting survivors
• Oakland police chief apologizes for use of tear gas on young protesters, disciplines officers
• U.S. plans to donate Covid-19 vaccines to Costa Rica

Israel Builds New Settlement To Host Palestinian Peace Talks. - The Onion

 

George P. Bush Is Following In Ted Cruz's Footsteps

Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush announced his candidacy for Texas attorney general on Wednesday.

Bush officially threw his hat in the ring during a campaign kickoff event at a downtown Austin bar. Bush had said in April he was “seriously considering” running.

I call them Grab-Em-By-The-Pussyvangelicals. - John Fugelsang

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Judge formally accepts guilty plea from Gaetz wingman Joel Greenberg
• Federal probe of Rep. Matt Gaetz takes new turn
• Pennsylvania Republicans call for Arizona-style election audit
• FBI investigating political fundraising of former employees of Postmaster General DeJoy
• Trump's Reported Claim of Being 'Reinstated' Was 'Probably' Inspired by Mike Lindell (According to Mike Lindell)
• Lara Trump Pours Cold Water on Trump's 'Reinstatement' Report: 'Maybe There's Something I Don't Know?'
• Texas Gov. Abbott moves to close shelters housing migrant children in the state
• Observers of Arizona’s Republican-led recount have found security gates left open

DeJoy DeServes DeJail. - John Fugelsang

 

Judge Says No To Noem
A federal judge on Wednesday rebuffed South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem's efforts to force the National Park Service to grant the state permission to shoot fireworks from Mount Rushmore National Memorial to celebrate Independence Day this year.

update—

Louis DeJoy: under criminal investigation

Matt Gaetz: under criminal investigation

Rudy Giuliani: under criminal investigation

Individual-1: under criminal investigation

Hillary: enjoying a nice walk in the woods, probably

me: laughing at all you "lock her up" morons - Jeff Tiedrich

 

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Rock The Voter News

• 'Get a shot and have a beer': Biden's new glass-half-full strategy woos vaccine skeptics
• The vice president will work with corporations and civil rights groups to battle GOP efforts to restrict voting
• President Joe Biden helped his wife celebrate her 70th birthday on Thursday with a leisurely bike ride.

The Republican Party is like a “Worst Person” contest. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

 

This took guts. Thank you for not staying silent, Paxton. - Hillary Clinton
I have dreams and hopes and ambitions. Every girl graduating today does, and we have spent our entire lives working toward our future. And without our input, and without our consent, our control over that future has been stripped away from us. I am terrified that if my contraceptives fail, I am terrified that if I am raped, then my hopes and aspirations and dreams and efforts for my future will no longer matter.

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Business/Tech News

• Biden proposes minimum 15 percent tax for corporations: report
• Walmart to give smartphones to 740K workers
• Bill Gates and Warren Buffett building nuclear reactor in nation's biggest coal-producing state
• A 20-Foot Sea Wall? Miami Faces the Hard Choices of Climate Change.

I’m gonna tell you a secret about pre-POTUS Trump in NYC and the MSM. They all knew who he was, but he was great for ratings, and everyone just kind of hoped he wouldn’t win. - Noel Casler

 

Uh, Oh. Tesla Recalling Cars.

Tesla Inc is issuing two new recalls to address seat belt issues, it said on Thursday.

One recall covers 5,530 vehicles, comprising 2018-2020 Model 3 and 2019-2021 Model Y cars, because fasteners that secure the front seat shoulder belt to the b-pillar may not be properly attached. The other recall covers 2,166 Model Y vehicles from 2019-2021 because fasteners that secure the left and right second-row seat belt retractors may not be properly attached.

Just bought tickets for a live show and it was as emotionally gratifying as getting vaccinated. - Roland Scahill

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Odd News

• 'We're alone': Family braces for massive sinkhole
•  9-year-old girl driving her 4-year-old sister crashes into semitruck
• 'Wheel whackers' keep snakes out of planes in California desert
• Woman wakes up from nap on plane to discover she flew 1,200 miles the wrong way
• Florida woman discovered naked in storm drain rescued underground -- again

Time To Deflate Photo

Just stunning. I wish I knew who did this lovely sculpture.

Peace.