All Hat No Cattle

Friday, July 3, 2020

He is suiciding us softly with his lies.

Trump set for another massive event during national pandemic

President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump head to Mount Rushmore National Memorial on Friday to celebrate an early Fourth of July at a gathering of an estimated 7,500 people during a global pandemic.

Trump Claims Presidents on Mt. Rushmore Agree With Him On Not Wearing Masks or Social Distancing. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Our country has the money to pay us all to stay home and get this virus under control, but Donald Trump and the GOP would rather we die. - Tom Brennan

New Strain of Coronavirus Is More Contagious
Anthony Fauci, a key member of the White House's coronavirus task force, warned Thursday that a new strain of the coronavirus found to be dominant around the world may contain a mutation that allows it to spread from person-to-person with more ease.

Raise your hand if you'd like to see the town of Palm Beach put up a huge BLACK LIVES MATTER sign right across the street from Mar-a-Lago. - Jeff Tiedrich

Republican Shenanigans

Trump Threatens Americans: ‘Re-elect Me Or I Will Roam Freely Among You’ - Andy Borowitz

Protection for Prince Andrew?
U.S. authorities have not made an official approach to the British government for permission to speak to Prince Andrew about his contacts with the late disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, Prime Minister Boris Johnson said on Friday.

The fact that Meghan and Harry created a crisis for the Royal Family, but Prince Andrew seemingly hasn’t, tells you a lot about the Monarchy. - Lisa Wilkerson

Trump Claims Ghislaine Maxwell Only Got Him Coffee. - Andy Borowitz

Florida has more new COVID-19 cases than all of Europe. - Nate Lerner tweet

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Rock The Voter News

At least Benedict Arnold had a few good years in which he fought for the right side. Trump never had a good stage of his life.
And Arnold didn’t dodge military service. - JCH tweet

Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Worse
An anonymous woman said Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein repeatedly sexually assaulted her in an interview with Fox News reporter Bryan Llenas. The woman, whose identity was obscured, added that she is “definitely” willing to testify in the case against Maxwell, who was arrested by the FBI on Thursday.

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Business/Tech News

Washington Redskins Change Their Name To The D.C. Redskins - The Onion

Dear God
A Justice Department task force meant to go after pandemic scammers and profiteers has found its work complicated by a "philosophical" debate with top Trump aides.

The day Trump leaves office will be one of the most celebrated in human history. - Scott Dworkin

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Thursday, July 2, 2020

Dr. Fauci: Coronavirus Was 'Allowed' to Perpetuate in the U.S. Because 'Only About 50 Percent of the Country Locked Down'

Dr. Fauci: Coronavirus Was 'Allowed' to Perpetuate in the U.S. Because 'Only About 50 Percent of the Country Locked Down'
Dr. Anthony Fauci said the United States is facing a resurgence of the coronavirus because the country didn’t take lockdowns far enough during the first wave of the pandemic.

Trump finally wore a mask the other day & said he felt like the #LoneRanger. But the Lone Ranger's mask had two eye holes in it, while Trump's mask had only one asshole in it. - Bette Midler

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

No country on earth has successfully contained Covid-19 without closing nonessential businesses and paying people to stay home. Government intervention is the only way out. Pretending capitalism and personal responsibility are enough has caused thousands of preventable deaths. - Sarah Kelly

Birds of a feather flocking together.

Episode 2 Has Arrived: Jeffrey Epstein's Girlfriend Arrested
Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s closest confidante who hasn’t been seen in public since his death, has been arrested by the FBI in New Hampshire, the Daily Beast has confirmed.
The elusive British socialite has been accused of involvement in Epstein’s alleged sexual crimes, and a report by NBC News says she has been arrested on as-yet unspecified charges related to Epstein.

SDNY just announced the Ghislaine Maxwell case - like the original Epstein case - is staffed by the Public Corruption Unit.
I worked at SDNY and did sex trafficking cases. They do NOT run out of Public Corruption - unless there is some potential angle against a public official. - Elie Honig tweet

So Trump had the US Attorney handling the Epstein case fired. Not suspicious whatsoever. - Tim Hannan

Republican Shenanigans

Some day Donald Trump will just go away. But it won’t be a miracle. It’ll be the American people on Nov.3. - Rob Reiner

I'm not crying, you're crying.

Republican Candidate's Bus Catches On Fire
A bus from Tommy Tuberville’s U.S. Senate campaign caught fire tonight on Interstate 59 in northeast Alabama...Tuberville is seeking the Republican nomination for Alabama’s junior seat in the U.S. Senate. Tuberville, the former Auburn football coach, faces former U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions in a runoff on July 14. The Republican nominee will challenge Democrat Doug Jones, who currently holds the Senate seat.

Mexico Denies Trump’s Asylum Request. - Andy Borowitz

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When a Republican says "the KKK was started by Democrats" what they mean is "I am an idiot who has no idea what has happened in the last 150 years." - Middle Age Riot

Rock The Voter News

SCOTUS Protects POTUS
The Supreme Court is denying Congress access to secret grand jury testimony from special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation through the November election.
The justices agreed on Thursday to hear the Trump administration’s appeal of a lower court order for the material to be turned over to the Democratic-controlled House of Representatives. The high court’s action will keep the documents out of congressional hands at least until the case is resolved, which is not likely to happen before 2021.

We gave Canadians a little something special for this year’s Canada Day—no Americans! - Conan O'Brien

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It’s weird that the people shattering records for personal wealth keep coming down on the side of the politicians that helped that happen. - Schooley tweet

Business/Tech News

You can have an edit button when everyone wears a mask. - Twitter

I don't know who needs to hear this, but 20,000,000 Americans are at risk of being evicted by September 30. - Robert Reich

McDonald's Holds Off Reopening Its Dining Rooms
McDonald's is hitting pause on its plan to reopen its dining rooms for three weeks as states across the country block restaurants from reopening because of rising cases of Covid-19.
"Keeping with our thoughtful approach to reopening, effective today, we are pausing all dine-in reopening plans for 21 days," Joe Erlinger, president of McDonald's

I don’t know what the second half of 2020 has planned for us but it better not involve my air conditioner. - SouthernThing tweet

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Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Senate strips provision from intelligence bill requiring campaigns to report foreign election help

Senate strips provision from intelligence bill requiring campaigns to report foreign election help
The Senate will incorporate the annual intelligence policy legislation into the National Defense Authorization Act -- but only after stripping language from the intelligence bill that would have required presidential campaigns to report offers of foreign election help.
Sen. Mark Warner of Virginia, the top Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee, said Tuesday that Senate Republicans forced the removal of the election reporting provision as a condition to include the intelligence bill on the must-pass defense policy legislation.

Helping the enemy used to be called treason.

Republicans Defend Trump’s Decision to Give Putin Office Space at White House. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Is Trump like, actively trying to murder his own base? - Sarah Cooper

Former Harvard Medical Professor Says We're All Gonna Die!
Former Harvard Medical Professor Dr. William Haseltine directly tied the new daily records in positive Covid-19 cases to the decisions by many states across the South and West to reopen their social distancing rules too early: “We’re reaping what we’ve sown over the past months.”

Study: No One Could Have Seen Pandemic Coming Except People Capable of Reading. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Rand Paul Says Secret to Social Distancing Is Making Everyone Despise You. - Andy Borowitz

Gov. "Florida Man"
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) said Tuesday that his state is “not going back” on reopening as thousands of new COVID-19 cases continue to be reported every day.
DeSantis told reporters that the state will not follow Texas Gov. Greg Abbott’s (R) move to pause reopening

Trump Threatens To Punish States By Visiting Them. - Andy Borowitz

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Donald Trump was never going to get along with anything called "the intelligence community." - Middle Age Riot

Rock The Voter News

If elected president, you can bet Joe Biden will never tweet about his TV ratings. - Hillary Clinton tweet

Alright, Already! Please Pick A Running Mate Today! Time's A-Wasting!
Former Vice President Joe Biden on Tuesday seemingly committed to releasing a shortlist of Black women for potential Supreme Court nominees ahead of November’s general election.
“We are putting together a list of a group of African American women who are qualified and have the experience to be on the court,” Biden told reporters in Wilmington, Del., after delivering a speech focused on President Donald Trump’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.

We really need to put professionals back in the White House. This way of life is a f-cking train wreck. - Ken Olin tweet

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Business/Tech News

Just shut everything down, suspend all mortgage and rent payments, give everybody $2k a month regardless of employment or means and call the rest of the year off. Otherwise we’re doomed. We knew this in April but pretended we could just wish it away. - Joe Dunman

Zuckerberg Continues To Dig Facebook's Grave
Advertisements for more than 400 brands including Coca-Cola and Starbucks are due to vanish from Facebook on Wednesday, after the failure of last-ditch talks to stop a boycott over hate speech on the site.
U.S. civil rights groups have enlisted the multinationals to help pressure the social media giant into taking concrete steps to block hate speech in the wake of the death of George Floyd and amid a national reckoning over racism..

When I was younger I used to learn a new word and then find ways to awkwardly shoehorn it into conversation. Talk about a classic bildungsroman. - Conan O'Brien

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