All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Mattis drives wedge between Trump and Republicans

Mattis drives wedge between Trump and Republicans
But most GOP senators are sticking with Trump.
Mitt Romney said former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis' extraordinary critique of President Donald Trump was “very powerful.” Lisa Murkowski said she’s “struggling” with whether to support Trump's reelection and even suggested Mattis’ comments could cause the dam to break in the GOP.

Your daily reminder:
Jim Mattis served America with honor and distinction for 40 years.
Donald Trump was a draft-dodging chickensh-t who hides in a bunker and returns fire via Twitter. - Rick Wilson

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Today's history lesson.

The Italians finally had enough of Mussolini.

It wasn't pretty. - Bruno Amato

Tar & Feather Rand Paul
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul acknowledged Wednesday that he's the lone holdout on passing a bill that would make lynching a federal crime. His objection holds up the bill even as Congress faces pressure for action during nationwide protests against racial violence.

I hope Biden’s first priority is to take down that f-cking fence around the peoples’ house. - Stephen King

Republican Shenanigans

Nation Issues Posthumous Apology To Richard Nixon For Calling Him Worst President. - breakingburgh.com

Republican Senator Is "Struggling" Whether To Vote For Trump
Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) on Thursday praised former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis’s scathing rebuke of President Trump as “true and honest and necessary” and admitted she is “struggling” with whether to vote for the president.

Trump’s Bleach Moment Now Seeming Like Career High Point - Andy Borowitz

Tear gas fired at young people protesting for a better world to clear the way for a monster to wave a bible in front of a church, with his little band of morally bankrupt enablers at his side. What a shameful moment for this country. - Jon Lovett

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Rock The Voter News

Obama’s Barrage of Complete Sentences Seen as Brutal Attack on Trump. - Andy Borowitz

The Bubba Brigade?

Pelosi Wants To Know Why Some Officers Aren't Wearing ID Labels. Yeah, Me, Too.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) on Thursday demanded that President Trump provide a list of the agencies involved in deploying law enforcement officers around Washington, D.C., in response to the crowds of demonstrators protesting police brutality.
Some officers policing protests in the city in recent days have been seen without any identifying labels on their uniforms, raising questions about which law enforcement agencies they represent.

Republican Leaders Claim New Yorkers Will Greet U.S. Military As Liberators - The Onion

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Business/Tech News

‘New York Times’ Announces New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing To Society 3 Times A Week - The Onion

Bayer AG Must Not Have Donated To Trump
Bayer AG has been blocked from selling an agricultural weed killer in the United States, the latest setback for a business already fighting an expensive legal battle over another product.

Mark Zuckerberg Announces Virtual Roundtable With American Hate Groups To Better Understand How They Work. - The Onion

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Wednesday, June 3, 2020

'No justice, no peace': Tens of thousands in London protest death of Floyd

'No justice, no peace': Tens of thousands in London protest death of Floyd
Tens of thousands of people chanting “no justice, no peace, no racist police” marched through central London on Wednesday to protest against racism after the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

"We must take the high road. It's the only one left open to us." - Brenda von Tungeln

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

For all you hippies having acid flashbacks to the 60s: those aren't flashbacks. - Stephen Colbert

Another One To Bite The Dust?
Secretary of Defense Mark Esper is on shaky ground with the White House after saying Wednesday that he does not support using active duty troops to quell the large-scale protests across the United States triggered by the death of George Floyd and those forces should only be used in a law enforcement role as a last resort.

Kim Jong-Un Claims Trump Stole His Idea of Using Military To Attack Americans. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Iowa Steve King lost. I am the last Steve King standing.(Takes a bow.) - Stephen King

If 2020 was an album cover

So, How's Florida's Reopening Going?
On Wednesday, Florida saw its largest number of new cases of the coronavirus since mid-April as the state works to reopen its economy.
The Florida Department of Health announced the state has a total of 58,764 confirmed cases of the disease, a jump of 1,317 from the day before.

Can you imagine 4 more years of the last 4 days? - Vincent Evans

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Rock The Voter News

I want the national guard to arrest the looters in the white house. - Sarah Cooper

Oooh, Trump Is An Inspector, Too!
President Donald Trump spent several minutes claiming he wasn’t rushed to an underground bunker Friday because of protests, but rather was merely touring the facility for “inspection” purposes.
There are reports that the news coverage of Trump’s brief stint in the Presidential Emergency Operations Center (PEOC) upset Trump, and inspired him to stage the photo op at St. John’s Episcopal Church Monday afternoon.

Trump Hides Under Desk After Diet Coke Can Opens Loudly. - Andy Borowitz

From "I have a dream"

to "I have a nightmare."

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‘This Face Will Be The Last Thing You See Before You Die,’ Says Trump In Healing Address To Nation. - The Onion

Business/Tech News

It seems only fair that the people responsible for 40 million lost jobs should lose theirs. - Middle Age Riot

Major Study Warning Against Use of Hydroxychloroquine Questioned for Suspect Data
The World Health Organization and several national governments changed their coronavirus policies based on flawed data from healthcare analytic company Surgisphere, according to a new report from The Guardian.

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Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Teargas for protesters before Trump poses at church with Bible

Teargas for protesters before Trump poses at church
Extraordinary scenes have unfolded in Washington after Donald Trump declared there would be a military crackdown on protests stemming from the George Floyd killing. Crowds were cleared from around the White House with teargas, rubber bullets and flash-grenades so that Trump could make an excursion on foot from the White House to the damaged “Church of the Presidents” and pose for photos while waving a Bible around.

The President held up a bible at St. John’s church yesterday. If he opened it instead of brandishing it, he could have learned something:
That we are all called to love one another as we love ourselves.
That’s hard work. But it’s the work of America. - Joe Biden

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

i need to see a birth certificate to be sure Donald Trump was born and not summoned. - ziwe tweet

Russian Trolls?
A Twitter account that tweeted a call to violence and claimed to be representing the position of "Antifa" was in fact created by a known white supremacist group, Twitter said Monday. The company removed the account.

The Bible isn't a prop.
It's a f-cking hammer that Christian Conservatives use to beat the rest of us. - Stonekettle

From Holy Ground to Holey Ground
Rev. Gini Gerbasi said that she, along with the church's seminarian, were forcibly removed from the patio of St. John's Episcopal Church less than an hour before President Trump arrived to take pictures while holding a Bible.
“The patio of St. John's, Lafayette square had been HOLY GROUND today. A place of respite and laughter and water and granola bars and fruit snacks. But that man turned it into a BATTLE GROUND first, and a cheap political stunt second.”

Republican Shenanigans

So can we all admit Colin Kaepernick was right? - Marlon Weems

No Hope In This Hick
According to reports from both the New York Times and the Daily Mail, Hope Hicks, who now serves as counselor to the president, was the brains behind having Donald Trump leisurely stroll from the White House over to St. John’s church for a photo-op that has turned into a public relations disaster for the administration.

Cops are straight up like, we’ll f-cking kill you if you keep saying that we kill people. - Diego Lopez

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Eric Trump Released After Being Accidentally Locked In Bunker All Weekend. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Australian News Crew Attacked By U.S. Police
The Australian government has asked its embassy in Washington to investigate an incident of violence against an Australian news crew by U.S. law enforcement that transpired during efforts to disperse peaceful protesters and enable President Donald Trump’s photo opportunity in front of a church near the White House.

Study: Many of Nation’s Problems Could Be Solved by Having a President. - Andy Borowitz

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Remember when Jesus cleared the Mount with tear gas so he could give his Sermon in it? - Middle Age Riot

Business/Tech News

Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. - Ben Wexler

Mon Dieu pas Poutine
Canada does not support Russia’s return to the Group of Seven, proposed by U.S. President Donald Trump over the weekend, because Moscow continues to flout international law, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Monday.

Iraq Offers To Send Peacekeeping Troops To U.S. - Andy Borowitz

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