Friday, May 1, 2020

Fauci Tells All States It’s Time to Issue Extremely Strict Stay-at-Home Orders

Fauci Tells All States It’s Time to Issue Extremely Strict Stay-at-Home Orders
Anthony Fauci has told all states it’s time to stop allowing any exemptions to social-distancing guidelines, and warned that forcing people to stay home across the nation is the “only thing we have” in the federal government’s arsenal to fight back against the coronavirus pandemic.


Trump Hopes To Speed Up Development of Vaccine By Letting Researchers Test Anything They Want On Eric Trump. - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Putin Angrily Resigns from Trump’s ReĆ«lection Campaign. - Andy Borowitz





Trump Praises Michigan Protesters
On Thursday, armed protesters stormed the State Capitol in opposition to Gov. Gretchen Whitmer's executive orders, which have kept much of Michigan's economy closed since March to stop the spread of the coronavirus...On Friday, President Donald Trump took to Twitter for some mobster LARPing, and said Whitmer should "give a little, and put out the fire."
"These are very good people, but they are angry," Trump said. "They want their lives back again, safely! See them, talk to them, make a deal."


Y’alls President out here calling white nationalists and racists good people again. - Jemele Hill



All of these jackaloons protesting with weapons. The recruiting offices are empty.  How would you like to carry your weapon 24/7...even sleep with it.  Don’t request desk jobs. Go Infantry, Combat Engineer or Scouts.  Well...the recruiters are waiting! You aren’t scared are you? - Richard N. Ojeda, II


Republican Shenanigans

Getting a check with Trump's signature on it is the closest most of us will ever get to feeling like a porn star. - John Fugelsang






I Wonder If He'll "Fall Off" His Balcony
Russian Prime Minister Mikhail Mishustin told President Vladimir Putin on Thursday that he had been diagnosed with the coronavirus and was temporarily stepping down to recover.







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Rock The Voter News

Trump Mocks Low-energy Joe Biden For Only Having One Accuser. - Andy Borowitz





Let Them Eat Beignets!
While under the state's stay-at-home orders, Louisiana lawmakers voted by mail against the state's voters' ability to vote by mail in upcoming elections.
Republicans in the state's legislature objected to a plan that would allow absentee ballots for people who fear being exposed to the coronavirus, claiming that mail-in voting is ripe for voter fraud — despite voting for the legislation by mail.


Why do the #Dems always twist themselves into pretzels over this sh-t?  We heard Donald Trump say "I grab 'em by the pussy!" and no one made a peep!  Didn't seem to hurt him, but we have been paying ever since.  Who is paying to #SWIFTBOAT Joe Biden?? - Bette Midler




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Business/Tech News



I have to admit that I did not have "Elon Musk loses his sh-t" on my Plutocrat Pandemic F-cknuttery Bingo card. - Jeff Tiedrich




I Love Canada!
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a ban on “military-style” assault weapons in the country. This includes the buying, selling, transporting, or use of these guns.
“There is no use and no place for such weapons in Canada,” Trudeau said.


The emperor has no tests. - Jeff Tiedrich






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Thank you!




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Trolltunga, Norway. I always yodel when jumping on a rock jutting out a mile above a waterway.

Best Wishes For A Beautiful and Peaceful Weekend.


Thursday, April 30, 2020

Congratulations, you successfully made it to the end of April

US intelligence says it's investigating COVID-19's origins
U.S. intelligence agencies in a rare public statement Thursday said they agreed with "the widespread scientific consensus" that the COVID-19 virus was "not man made or genetically modified" but also that they are investigating whether it emerged from a laboratory in Wuhan, China.


2016: 30,000 emails.

2020: 60,000 dead. - Middle Age Riot


America getting ready to reopen


The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Since the U.S. death toll surpassed 60,000 yesterday, Trump has tweeted about: 
-Michael Flynn 
-CNN-MSNBC 
-Brian Williams 
-Don Lemon 
-Joe Scarborough 
-Sweden 
-Roger Stone 
-His poll numbers 
-Jim Comey 
-Hillary Clinton’s campaign 
-Rep. Jim Ryun’s birthday- Philip Rucker, Washington Post





After One Tweet to Trump This Man Got $69 Million From New York For Ventilators
The Silicon Valley engineer, who had no background in medical supplies but was recommended by the White House, never delivered the ventilators.


Electing Donald Trump to drain the swamp is the political equivalent of drinking bleach to kill the coronavirus. - Middle Age Riot





Republican Shenanigans

Class Warfare is when top 1% uses the media to instruct you that a slight tax increase on the top 1% is Class Warfare. - John Fugelsang


Another Rat Flees The Sinking Ship
Joe Grogan, the top domestic policy adviser to President Donald Trump, who has played a key role in health policy and the coronavirus response, is set to leave the White House next month, he confirmed to POLITICO.






Jared Kushner spinning the current death count as a win is so on brand. It’s like Jared calling his father a law-abiding citizen, or himself fully human. - Rick Wilson




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I have a fun idea: why don’t we have Trumps personal doctor/ carny inject Trump with the coronavirus and then we can test out all his ideas on him and his family? There will be light everywhere. The best lights. Inside and out. - Chelsea Handler


Rock The Voter News




Once again, Trump said he inherited "broken" Covid-19 tests from Barack Obama.
Covid-19 DID NOT EXIST when Obama was President. - Mikel Jollett

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Business/Tech News

I wonder when Trump loses in 2020, if he'll end up a commentator on FOX news. - Erin Rogers





Texas Universities Will Reopen In The Fall, With Football
Texas Tech and Texas A&M universities are planning to reopen their campuses in the fall, the schools announced this week as states begin to loosen restrictions related to the coronavirus. 




40 years from now, when Millennials complain about how bad they had it:
"Okay, Plaguer." - George Takei




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Hubble Marks 30 Years in Space With Tapestry of  a Blazing Starbirth. A bit of beauty is much needed at this time.


Peace.


Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Kushner predicts much of the country will be 'back to normal' in June

Kushner predicts much of the country will be 'back to normal' in June
White House senior adviser Jared Kushner on Wednesday expressed optimism that much of the country could be "back to normal" by June as several states prepare to lift restrictions meant to slow the spread of the coronavirus.


Kushner Announces Doctors HATE Him After He Discovered One Weird Trick To CURE Coronavirus. - The Onion





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Remember when the United States Surgeon General told the American people that wearing masks wouldn’t help? - Adam Parkhomenko 







My My My. I'm So Glad Roger Stone Found Jesus Days Before The Mueller Documents Were Released
Investigators from former special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation told a judge that Trump political adviser Roger Stone orchestrated hundreds of fake Facebook accounts and bloggers to run a political influence scheme on social media in 2016, according to court documents from the Mueller investigation unsealed on Tuesday.





Think of what it would mean if we had a real president, not just somebody who plays one on TV. - Hillary Clinton




Republican Shenanigans

Pence’s failure to wear a mask sets a horrible example and underlines a largely unspoken problem: the idea that REAL MEN DON’T WEAR FACEMASKS. Going barefaced isn’t macho; it’s stupid. - Stephen King






The Florida Death Watch Breaks Record
Florida’s Department of Health on Tuesday confirmed 708 additional cases of COVID-19, bringing the state’s total of confirmed cases to 32,846. There were 83 new deaths announced — the highest reported on a single day — bringing the statewide death toll to 1,171.


Mike Pence is all the evil,twice the hypocrisy,with half of the comedy value - John Fugelsang






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Really, if were that easy to commit voter fraud with mail-in ballots, this supreme court would've already mandated it. - Jimmie von Tungeln





Rock The Voter News

NY has received hundreds of donated masks from all around the country, from red states and blue states.
They were sent because Americans are unified and generous and kind.
Our politicians should aspire to be at least half as good as the American people. - Gov. Andrew Cuomo




Mitch McConnell Wants Workers Unprotected
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is pushing for liability protections for businesses and hospitals in the next round of coronavirus relief legislation, raising objections from congressional Democratic leaders as lawmakers begin shaping a fourth bill to address the crisis.


CNN to Show Phone Number of Poison-Control Hotline Whenever Trump Speaks. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Jared Kushner called the White House’s covid response “a great success story,” second only to Ivanka Trump’s shoe company. - Andy Borowitz





Some Good Coronavirus News!
Anthony Fauci, a key member of the White House coronavirus task force, said results from a clinical trial of a potential COVID-19 treatment showed “quite good news.”
Data from an international study of remdesivir showed patients treated with the drug recovered 31 percent faster than patients given a placebo, Fauci told reporters at the White House on Wednesday, alongside President Trump and Vice President Pence.





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THANK YOU!




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Visovac monastery in Croatia. The perfect place to lockdown, with a canoe of course.

Peace.