All Hat No Cattle

Friday, March 13, 2020

The president: "National emergency. Two very big words.”

Trump declares national emergency in latest bid to combat coronavirus
Trump said the move would free up $50 billion in additional funding, and give officials new authority to speed up coronavirus testing and care.

Deliberately lying about a health crisis resulting in additional deaths sure seems like a high crime or misdemeanor to me. - The Hoarse Whisperer

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

South Korea has tested 200,000 people for coronavirus, prioritizing the most vulnerable people.

The CDC only tested 77 people this week. Yet, the Utah Jazz was able to test all 58 players in a matter of hours. - Sawyer Hackett

Feds Gave California 8,000 Faulty COVID-19 Test Kits. Jesus.
California’s ability to test people for COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus, has been limited by incomplete test kits provided by the federal government, the state’s governor said Thursday.
So far only about 1,500 people have been tested in the state, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) said in a press conference. While the state government has 8,000 test kits available, the kits have not all included every necessary component to actually perform the test for COVID-19, Newsom said.

By the end of his first term, Donald Trump will have killed more Americans with his incompetence than Russia and middle eastern terrorists could ever dream of. - Edan Clay

Republican Shenanigans

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. - Gillian Turner

Is there anything more poetic than Trump being taken out by a Chinese Flu named after a Mexican beer?

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Stock Market Rallies On News That Trump Has Laryngitis. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Boomer Remover?

Hey I have an idea, let's give control of the national healthcare system over to a bunch of folks who think it's funny when old people die. - Willie Everstop

So good to see we've reached the "WHAT ABOUT OBAMA [insert lie here]" phase of our national health emergency. - Jeff Tiedrich

Louisiana Postpones Primary
Louisiana postpones primary as states scramble to adjust to coronavirus. It's the first primary to be postponed since the outbreak of the virus. Four states voting this Tuesday say they will continue as planned.

We must suspend mortgage payments and evictions nationwide. - Sen. Ed Markey

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Email

Why does your new page come out so late in the day? I usually try to look at it around 4 PM EST, it gets later everyday.

HD

Hi HD,
Lordy, deep apologies for your humor inconvenience. Better late than never, don't ya think? 😉

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America must've said somethin' about this virus's momma. This sh*t took out baseball, Disneyland and Tom Hanks in 24 hours. - George Wallace

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I need someone to explain to me why we can immediately approve $1.5 trillion for Wall Street but not for free coronavirus testing and paid sick leave.

Explain it to me like I’m in kindergarten. - Andrea Junker

Business/Tech News

If you’re upset about regular folk hoarding toilet paper, wait till you hear about how a tiny percentage of rich people have hoarded most of the world’s wealth. - Jason Reid

Meanwhile, Russia-Saudi Oil War Escalates
Saudi Arabia is flooding markets with oil at prices as low as $25 per barrel, specifically targeting big refiners of Russian oil in Europe and Asia, in an escalation of its fight with Moscow for market share, five trading sources said on Friday.

[coronavirus pandemic diary]

Day 3: I’ve not had sex in 6 months- David Hughes

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I'd Rather You Laugh Than Cry

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Top health official Fauci: People in US not easily getting coronavirus testing 'is a failing'

Top health official Fauci: People in US not easily getting coronavirus testing 'is a failing'
One of the nation’s top health officials leading the coronavirus response on Wednesday admitted it is a “failing” that individuals cannot “easily” get tested for the disease in the U.S.
“The system is not really geared to what we need right now — what you are asking for,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told a member of Congress during a House Oversight and Reform hearing Wednesday.

Dr. Anthony Fauci Carefully Keeping Six Feet Away From Trump At Coronavirus Briefing. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The Tom Hanks statement will do more to calm people about coronavirus than any part of Trump's medicated and self-congratulatory reading of a teleprompter. - John Fugelsang

If coronavirus was a person

China Bouncing Back From Coronavirus
Businesses and factories are starting to reopen in Wuhan and restrictions are loosened across China as the nation works to bounce back from the coronavirus quarantine. Chinese President Xi Jinping visited Wuhan for the first time since the virus outbreak.

Here's the bottom line: paid sick leave will save lives. Congress must make it a reality immediately. - Kamala Harris

Just went to Seattle’s UW Medical Center to ask how much patients are being charged for a coronavirus test.

$100-$500 if they have insurance.$1,600 if they don’t. - Michael Hobbes

Republican Shenanigans

When we have people like Donald Trump, Steven Miller & Jared Kushner running our country, it's no wonder why everything is so f**ked up. - Woman in the Moon

Trump's European Ban Excludes Trump Hotel Nations
President Donald Trump’s new European travel restrictions have a convenient side effect: They exempt nations where three Trump-owned golf resorts are located.
Trump is already under fire for visiting his properties in both countries as president, leading to U.S. taxpayer money being spent at his own firms. The president has been saddled with lawsuits and investigations throughout his term alleging that he’s violating the Constitution’s emoluments clause by accepting taxpayer money other than his salary.

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Rock The Voter News

GOP Unveils Immigration Plan: "We Must Make America Somewhere No One Wants To Live." - Andy Borowitz

Biden Should Have Gotten Secret Service Protection After His Wife Had To Protect Him
Congressional leaders have been notified that Joe Biden's presidential campaign has requested protection from the Secret Service, according to a congressional official familiar with the discussions.

I honestly think if Trump resigned there would be a rebound in the markets. A big one. - Jennifer Rubin

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Business/Tech News

It’s like the Influenza of 1918 married the Stock Market Crash of 1929. - David Tanenhaus

Trump Ruins Everything He Touches
Stocks cratered Thursday as the escalating coronavirus pandemic and lingering questions about President Trump’s response drove the worst day of losses for Wall Street since the 1987 crash.
The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed with a loss of 2,352 points, dropping 10 percent for its steepest loss by percentage since falling 22.6 percent on Oct. 19, 1987.

NPR RADIO: South Korea is now testing 20,000 people every day including with mobile units and quarantining those infected. Life is essentially normal with no travel restrictions or closures. New cases are now declining daily.

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The village medic came by today to check on our health, gave us coronavirus info sheets. He said he'd return in June to give us our yearly flu shots, unless we needed a coronavirus test before then. This is all free in Costa Rica. The USA needs to do better.

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I'd Rather You Laugh Than Cry

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Guess what, folks? Trump is classifying coronavirus meetings. We are so f--ked.

White House told federal health agency to classify coronavirus deliberations
The White House has ordered federal health officials to treat top-level coronavirus meetings as classified, an unusual step that has restricted information and hampered the U.S. government’s response to the contagion, according to four Trump administration officials.

Don't be surprised if Dr. Fauci is transferred, muted, fired or mysteriously disappears.He is speaking truth & Trump has to be pissed. - Woman in the Moon tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Maybe Trump will take the Coronavirus more seriously if we change its name to Hillary’s Ebolamails. - OhNoSheTwint

The White House Is Hiding Something
Top Trump administration officials on Wednesday cut short their testimony at a House Oversight and Reform Committee hearing on the response to the coronavirus, with the White House saying they were needed at a meeting focused on the spreading virus.

Republican Shenanigans

BERNIE RALLIES: cancelled

BIDEN RALLIES: cancelled

TRUMP RALLIES: “We love shaking hands then touching our faces don’t we folks? The media hates it but we love it.” - Chris Jackson

Coronavirus is 10x More Lethal Than The Common Flu.
A top U.S. health official said the worst is yet to come with the coronavirus outbreak that has already infected more than 1,000 people across the nation and resulted in at least 31 deaths....Fauci said COVID-19 is at least 10 times “more lethal” than the seasonal flu, even if the mortality rate drops far below the World Health Organization’s current estimate of 3.4%.

Who knew we'd see the stock market and the Sanders campaigns crash out in the same week? - Rick Wilson

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Rock The Voter News

I would rather vote for a Democrat who will disappoint me than a Republican who will meet my expectations. - Middle Age Riot

No, No, No, Norway. NO!
Due to the ongoing threat posed by the COVID-19 coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has warned Americans to avoid cruise ships, as the extended time in close quarters leaves passengers particularly vulnerable to contagions.
Norwegian Cruise Line (NCL) customers who called the company over concerns about the now-global pandemic, however, were given false information about the virus in an effort to convince them that it was safe to travel on their ships, the Miami New Times reported Wednesday.

There's no doubt...the Christian right has gone to bed with the more conservative elements of the Republican Party. And there's been a melding in their goals when it comes to the separation of church & state. I've always believed in the separation of church & state. ~Jimmy Carter

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Keep calm by remembering that the U.S. pharmaceutical industry is working around the clock to find the most profitable vaccine. - The Onion

Business/Tech News

Trump says he’s going to propose a payroll tax cut to help hourly workers deal with coronavirus. So, they’ll pay a smaller % of taxes on the $0 they’ll earn when they’re out sick? Trump has zero idea how real jobs work because he’s never done one. - Bette Midler

The Yo-Yo Stock Market Enters Bear Territory
The S&P 500, Dow and Nasdaq tumbled Wednesday as the volatility of the past couple weeks extended further.
The Dow shed 1,464.94 points during the session, or 5.9%, sending it more than 20% below its recent high from February and into a bear market.

I just cancelled the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and he is PISSED. - TweetOfGod

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I'd Rather You Laugh Than Cry