All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Birds of a feather flock together

Donald Trump Says 'I Don't Know Prince Andrew,' Despite Meeting With The Royal Before Epstein's Arrest
President Donald Trump has attempted to distance himself from Prince Andrew by claiming he "doesn't know" the under-fire royal despite meeting with him several times down the years.

Three quarters of Americans can't name all three branches of our government.

A full third can only name one.

Still wondering how we got here?

#TeachCivicsAgain - fen tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

NATO Leaders Challenge Trump To Spell NATO. - Andy Borowitz

Trump's House of Ukraine Cards Is Tumbling Down
A former deputy foreign minister said in a new interview that Ukraine was aware of a U.S. freeze in military aid as early as July, marking the first public acknowledgement from an official in Kyiv that the country knew about President Trump’s move to withhold the assistance.

Meanwhile, Back in North Korea
President Trump on Tuesday revived the “Rocket Man” nickname he has used to refer to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un while discussing relations with Pyongyang...He added: “I have confidence in him. I like him, he likes me, we have a good relationship … We’ll see what happens. It may work out, it may not.”
“If I weren’t president, you’d be in a war right now in Asia, and who knows where that leads,” he continued.

Queen Elizabeth Says Bone Spurs Will Prevent Her From Meeting With Trump. - Any Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Melania Trump Hangs Decayed Badger Carcass Over White House Mantel To Finish Off Traditional Slovenian Christmas Decor - The Onion

An Evangelical Pedophile in Alabama. Who Would've Thunk?
An Alabama evangelist pleaded guilty this morning in an Etowah County courtroom to 28 counts of sexual abuse involving six victims.
Paul Acton Bowen, charged in both Jefferson County and Etowah counties, was facing criminal charges, including enticing a child for sexual act, sodomy, traveling to meet a child for sexual act and sexual abuse involving six different victims between the ages of 13 and 16.

Rudy Giuliani’s resting face is “Oh no, did I just stitch up this patient with my car keys inside him???” - Conan O'Brien

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Rock The Voter News

Majority Of Americans Favor Changing White House Locks While Trump Is Overseas. - Andy Borowitz

Banks Must Give Trump's Financial Records to the US House
Two banks must turn over President Donald Trump's financial records to the Democrat-controlled US House of Representatives, dealing another blow to the President's efforts to block Congress' move to obtain his financial records, a federal appeals court in New York ruled Tuesday.

The White House has identified the legal scholars who Trump says reviewed the transcripts and deemed them "absolutely perfect": Moses Horwitz, Louis Feinberg and Jerome Horwitz. Asked to comment, Jerome Horwitz (whose nickname is Curly) cryptically responded “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.” - Jon Cooper

To my supporters, it is with deep regret—but also with deep gratitude—that I am suspending my campaign today.

But I want to be clear with you: I will keep fighting every day for what this campaign has been about. Justice for the People. All the people. - Kamala Harris

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Business/Tech News

No, Mark, it’s not that “complex.” Let me simplify (again): you and Facebook take money from politicians and run their ads — even if they’re not true — without fact-checking them. That’s not democracy, that’s you profiting off propaganda. - Sacha Baron Cohen

22 Billion for 9 Submarines! What a Deal!
The U.S. Navy will spend about $22 billion to purchase nine new nuclear-powered Virginia-class submarines as it seeks to maintain superiority over China's growing Navy.
According to a Navy release Tuesday, the commission for the new ships will be fulfilled by General Dynamics Electric Boat and subcontractor Huntington Ingallls Industries at a shipyard in Rhode Island employing thousands of workers.

To all the candidates, staff, and volunteers who have worked their hearts out for presidential campaigns that have ended—remember that fighting for what you believe in is always worth it. - Hillary Clinton

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Monday, December 2, 2019

Trump, lawyers won’t participate in upcoming impeachment hearing

Trump, lawyers won’t participate in upcoming impeachment hearing
President Donald Trump and his lawyers will not participate in Wednesday’s impeachment hearing in the House Judiciary Committee, according to a letter from the White House to the committee.

White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross. - The Onion

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump Asks Troops in Afghanistan to Dig Up Dirt on Biden. - Andy Borowitz

The President of the United States Fakes Orgasm
It’s not often that you interview a subject who has no interest in being famous. But recently, I did just that when I sat down with Lisa Page the week before Thanksgiving in my hotel room in Washington, D.C. Page, of course, is the former FBI lawyer whose text-message exchanges with agent Peter Strzok that belittled Donald Trump and expressed fear at his possible victory became international news. They were hijacked by Trump to fuel his “deep state” conspiracy.
For the nearly two years since her name first made the papers, she’s been publicly silent (she did have a closed-door interview with House members in July 2018). I asked her why she was willing to talk now. “Honestly, his demeaning fake orgasm was really the straw that broke the camel’s back,” she says. The president called out her name as he acted out an orgasm in front of thousands of people at a Minneapolis rally on Oct. 11.

Whatever Russia's reason is for meddling in our elections, you can be pretty goddamn sure it isn't to Make America Great Again. - Middle Age Riot

Putin couldn’t have done it without the help of the GOP. From his attack on the 2016 U.S. election to his coverup since, Moscow’s greatest ally in hybrid warfare against America is the Republican Party. - Alexandra Chalupa

Republican Shenanigans

Sen. Kennedy, why are you parroting Russian propaganda that U.S. intelligence officials tell us are designed to divide our country? Did you miss the briefing that day? - Hillary Clinton

The Golf Grifter-in-Chief
With his Thanksgiving vacation, President Donald Trump’s golf hobby has now cost Americans an estimated $115 million in travel and security expenses ― the equivalent of 287 years of the presidential salary he frequently boasts about not taking.
Of that amount, many hundreds of thousands ― perhaps millions ― of dollars have gone into his own cash registers, as Secret Service agents, White House staff and other administration officials stay and eat at his hotels and golf courses.

When a white American can speak more than one language:

“Wow, they are so smart!”

When an immigrant or Person of Color can speak more than one language:

“Speak English!”

The difference is racism. - Rachel R. Gonzales

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Here's three people who were against the United States entering the Trans Pacific Partnership.

Donald Trump, Putin, and Bernie Sanders.

Huh, weird. - Fred Harding

Rock The Voter News

Pelosi Tells UN That The House Is Fighting The Fight Against Climate Change
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told a United Nations summit on Monday that the Democratic-controlled House was "still in" the fight against climate change even following the Trump administration's withdrawal from the Paris climate accord.

Ever notice how the Americans who really hate foreigners also tend to hate massive amounts of other Americans? - John Fugelsang

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42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record. - The Onion

Business/Tech News

Am I the only one who thinks that the deaths of 3 Deutsche Bank loan officers is just a little weird? - Kim Brill

Measles Outbreak Shuts Down Samoan Government
The Samoan government will shut down for two days this week amid a measles outbreak that has killed 53 people, according to the Washington Post.
The island nation declared the outbreak in October. The vast majority of the deaths — 48 — have been children under the age of 3. More than 3,700 people have been infected overall.

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Trump peddles 'War on Thanksgiving'

Trump peddles 'War on Thanksgiving'
At a rally in Sunrise, Fla., on Tuesday night, President Trump declared a victory in the imaginary “war on Christmas” while warning of a new one: the war on Thanksgiving.

Republican - the other white meat. - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Looks like Trump & Putin are killing them off.A banker from Deutsche Bank found dead from hanging on the heels of Epstein.Hey, Rudy, be careful out there. - Woman in the Moon tweet

Trump May Run Out of Lawyers
A former US prosecutor says that Donald Trump appears to be implicating Rudy Giuliani in a bribery conspiracy, after the president claimed he never told his personal lawyer to go to Ukraine and dig up dirt on his political rivals.
Mr Trump appeared to distance himself from Mr Giuliani’s dealings in Ukraine on Tuesday, during an interview with disgraced former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly.

If Rudy Giuliani’s wife visits him in jail, does it count as a family visit or a conjugal visit? - Marie Connor

Trump loves Eddie Gallagher because he killed people who weren’t white.

End of story. - Roland Scahill

Republican Shenanigans

I guess before days end Donald Trump Jr will tweet out a photo with his head superimposed onto a successful authors body. - Roland Scahill

Hey, Sen. Graham, The Salem Witches Were Executed, You Buffoon.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said “Salem witches got a better deal” than President Trump after viewing the House Judiciary Committee’s impeachment plans.
The president’s ally condemned House Democrats’ setup of the impeachment inquiry on Twitter after House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) sent a letter to the White House inviting the president to attend the Judiciary hearings beginning on Dec. 4. The president is supposed to respond by Sunday.

The “chosen one.” Making fun of people with disabilities, harassing veterans, and anyone who disagrees with him on Twitter. Preventing black people from living in his buildings. Bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. If you believe in Jesus, Christ, Donald Trump isn’t him. - Chelsea Handler

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Rock The Voter News

Trump Supporters Angry That Impeachment Hearings Preempted “The Price Is Right” - Andy Borowitz

Devin Nunes is what would happen if someone tried to make stupid from concentrate, but forgot to add water. - Middle Age Riot

Jesus. Isn't This Entrapment By DHS?
About 90 additional foreign students of a fake university in metro Detroit created by the Department of Homeland Security have been arrested in recent months.
A total of about 250 students have now been arrested since January on immigration violations by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as part of a sting operation by federal agents who enticed foreign-born students, mostly from India, to attend the school that marketed itself as offering graduate programs in technology and computer studies, according to ICE officials...The students had arrived legally in the U.S. on student visas, but since the University of Farmington was later revealed to be a creation of federal agents, they lost their immigration status after it was shut down in January. The school was located on Northwestern Highway near 13 Mile Road in Farmington Hills and staffed with undercover agents posing as university officials.

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