All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

I love a parade!

Park Service to divert $2.5 million for Trump's July 4 event: report
The National Park Service has reportedly been directed to divert nearly $2.5 million in funding to the Washington, D.C., "Salute to America" .

Tanks in the capital and refugees in concentration camps.
There’s a word for this, and it’s not democracy. - Ed Overbeek

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Who is going to be the hero that stands in front of one of Trump’s tanks and stops his parade ? - Roland Scahill

A Win For Asylum Seekers
A federal judge on Tuesday blocked an order from Attorney General William Barr that stated certain asylum-seekers can be detained indefinitely.
U.S. District Judge Marsha Pechman in Washington state wrote that it was "unconstitutional" to deny asylum-seekers a bond hearing while they wait for their asylum claims to be processed.

Republican Shenanigans

Breaking: Meghan McCain may be leaving The View to pursue her true passion of angrily shouting “MY FATHER” at people for free. - OhNoSheTwint

Kids in cages. Tanks on the streets. Friendships with dictators. Fights with democracies. VIP access for donors at a July 4 event. Attacking the press. There is nothing patriotic about any of that. - Brian Schatz

Trump Said His Parade Won't Be Political. LOL.
An official with the Democratic National Convention told NBC News the organization has not received tickets to the VIP section for President Donald Trump’s Fourth of July celebration, “Salute to America,” as of Tuesday morning.
However, a spokeswoman from the Republican National Convention confirmed Monday that the RNC has already received their ticket allotment for the VIP section of the event.
This discrepancy was revealed just days before the typically nonpartisan Independence Day celebration is set to take place.

A real 4th of July parade:

Donald Trump being perp walked down Pennsylvania Avenue in handcuffs by federal agents holding sparklers. - Middle Age Riot

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Rock The Voter News

Trump's Fourth of July Parade to Include Flyover By Russian Air Force. - Andy Borowitz

Cadet Bone Spurs Ushers In "No-Holds-Barred" Military Policy
President Trump on Wednesday praised a Navy SEAL who was acquitted of committing war crimes in the killing of a wounded ISIS captive in Mosul, Iraq.
“Congratulations to Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher, his wonderful wife Andrea, and his entire family,” Trump tweeted Wednesday. “You have been through much together. Glad I could help!”
A jury of seven soldiers found Special Operations Chief Edward Gallagher not guilty on Tuesday of charges that included killing unarmed civilians. Gallagher was found guilty of wrongfully posing with the corpse of the 12-year-old ISIS fighter, a charge that carries a maximum prison sentence of four months.

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Business/Tech News

Who else is hoping it'll rain at Trump's 4th of July rally?

Never Forget That The President's Former Chief of Staff, John Kelly, Came Up With The Idea of Separating Families
In April, protesters outside the nation's largest facility for unaccompanied migrant children noticed a familiar face enter the massive, fenced site in Homestead, Florida: former White House chief of staff John Kelly. Soon after, a local television station recorded footage of him riding on the back of a golf cart as he toured the grounds.
It wasn't clear why he was there, but Friday, Caliburn International confirmed to CBS News that Kelly had joined its board of directors. Caliburn is the parent company of Comprehensive Health Services, which operates Homestead and three other shelters for unaccompanied migrant children in Texas.

There is life in outer space, and it's intelligent, and that's why it's staying far away from you. - The TweetOfGod

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Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Another day...

House Democrats sue for Trump's tax returns
House Democrats on Tuesday sued for President Trump’s tax returns, marking the beginning of a high-stakes legal fight over his efforts to keep his taxes secret.
Ways and Means Committee Chairman Richard Neal (D-Mass.) filed suit in federal court to enforce a subpoena for the records rejected in May by the administration.

In the Trump administration, conflicts of interest are basically a job requirement:

A conflicted shipping heiress runs DOT

An oil lobbyist runs DOI

A coal lobbyist runs EPA

A pharma exec runs HHS

A Boeing exec runs DOD

A Verizon lawyer runs FCC

A banking exec runs Treasury - Public Citizen tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Any parade for Donald Trump that doesn't include tar, feathers, and a rail is a waste of marching. - Middle Age Riot

What's Up With Pence Cancelling?
Vice President Mike Pence on Tuesday abruptly canceled a planned appearance at a New Hampshire opioid event to remain in Washington.
Pence’s office said in a statement that the change of plans is “no cause for alarm.”

I’m fully expecting Trump to misspell ‘tank’ in a tweet this week. - Roland Scahill

Republican Shenanigans

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job - The Onion

But Their Emails!
Texas has passed a new law that lets lawmakers conceal their emails and other communications from public scrutiny, as they prepare to redraw the state’s voting maps.
The law’s Republican authors, North Texas' Rep. Charlie Geren and Sen. Kelly Hancock, billed it as a housekeeping matter, a routine update to rules governing how lawmakers retain records and run debates. It passed easily with almost no discussion and little media attention.

New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend - The Onion

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Rock The Voter News

I'm grateful to the members of Congress who have visited camps at the border over the last couple of days to hold a light to the nightmarish conditions there.
We need more oversight. We need accountability. We need them now. - Hillary Clinton tweeted today

Arizona Gov Wants To Punish Nike
Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey (R) on Tuesday announced that he will ask the state's commerce authority to pull financial incentives for Nike after the company decided not to release a Betsy Ross flag sneaker.

FEMALES!! Whatever you do #AvoidAlabama LIKE THE PLAGUE! It’s 2019, but it’s the 1500s in Ala. You may be pregnant, which you might not know, something may happen, and you could end up on death row just for passing thru this moth-eaten state! - Bette Midler

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Business/Tech News

For-profit healthcare makes you sick

For-profit news makes you dumb

For-profit religion makes you spiritually empty

For-profit education makes you a debt slave

For-profit prison make you less safe

For-profit politics make you helpless

For-profit presidents should make you impeach. - John Fugelsang

Mick Jagger Wrote A Song About Prescription Drugs In 1965
Price hikes on prescription drugs are surging in 2019, despite vows from lawmakers and the Trump administration to rein in pharmaceutical costs.
So far in 2019, more than 3,400 drugs have boosted their prices, a 17% increase compared with the roughly 2,900 drug price increases at the same time in 2018...

I recommend converting Mar-a-Lago into migrant housing. Undocumented workers have been welcome there for years. - Andy Borowitz

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Monday, July 1, 2019

#UnwantedIvanka trends after Ivanka Trump's G-20 appearance

#UnwantedIvanka trends after Ivanka Trump's G-20 appearance
Social media users are editing White House adviser and President Trump's daughter Ivanka Trump into iconic photos using the hashtag “#UnwantedIvanka” after she was seen in a viral video trying to make conversation with leaders at the Group of 20 (G-20) meeting last weekend.
The clip, released by the French presidential palace...

The video of Ivanka Trump trying to join the conversation with world leaders at the G20 is fascinating. It’s like when you’re standing at a bar asking for another drink but the bartender keeps ignoring you… Except way more embarrassing. - Chelsea Handler

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

If Osama bin Laden was still alive, Trump would invite him to brunch. - Roland Scahill

Is anyone else wondering how many unsecured cell phones crossed the DMZ among Trump, Ivanka, etc? - Jon Cooper

A Missing Russian Tied To The Mueller Report
According to a report in the Washington Post, a Maltese professor with mysterious ties to the Russians — and who precipitated special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation of Donald Trump — is still missing and everyone wants to talk to him.
Joseph Mifsud, who was identified in the Mueller report as the person who offered to serve up emails belonging to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has fallen off the map since an October 2017 interview where he insisted “I never got any money from the Russians: my conscience is clear, I am not a secret agent.”

Trump Praises Kim on Immigration: ‘No One Is Trying To Get Into Your Country’ - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Ivanka Comes Out Against Busing: ‘I Have Never Taken a Bus In My Life — They’re Gross’ - Andy Borowitz

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Gonna Write A Book That'll End Up At The Dollar Tree
Outgoing White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is reportedly planning to write a book about her time in the Trump administration.
Axios reported that Sanders, whose left the White House on Friday, plans to move back to her native Arkansas and relax for the month of July with her family before she begins working on her book and likely hitting the speaking circuit.

Trump Attempts To Make Putin Jealous By Seeing Other Dictators - Andy Borowitz

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The president's weekend began with -sucking up to a dictator who murders reporters, then-sucking up to a dictator who hacks up reporters who are American residents,-peaked w/sucking up to a dictator who murders Americans & sends them home to die.

Your move, Evangelicals. - John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

Hillary doesn't miss a beat...

If Mike Pence sees his shadow on July 1st that means 6 more weeks of Pride Month. - OhNoSheTwint

Border Agents Anticipated Rioting At Detention Center Due To Bad Conditions
The government’s own internal watchdog warned as far back as May that conditions at an El Paso, Texas, border station were so bad that border agents were arming themselves against possible riots, countering Friday’s assertion by a top Trump administration official that reports of poor conditions for migrants were “unsubstantiated.”

I smell something rancid that’s starting to brewTwixt Putin & Trumpie & Dear Leader too They're cooking up somethingWe’ll swallow or sipThis scary ass threesome’sGettin' into some sh*tCan it be they are planning some crazy ass coupTO BONESAW DEMOCRACY THEN COME FOR YOU?

- Bette Midler

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Business/Tech News

“If you go to a great American store like Walmart, you’ll find lots of cheap sportswear, shoes, and other items for you and your family to enjoy,” Trump tweeted. “What better way to show China that we don’t need their dumb stuff!” - Andy Borowitz