All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

AllHatNoCattle proudly presents this award

Barr takes shots at Mueller during tense Senate hearing
The attorney general went on the offensive after it was revealed Mueller twice pushed Barr to release Russia probe summaries.

I sure hope Barr hires a better defense attorney than Barr. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Was Barr sworn in on a redacted Bible? - Gary Kasparov

I 💖 NYC
Thousands of people have signed a petition in New York City to rename the block in front of Trump Tower after former President Obama.
A MoveOn petition started by Elizabeth Rowin is calling for the stretch of Fifth Avenue between 56th and 57th streets to be renamed "President Barack H. Obama Avenue."

William Barr is like if Sarah Sanders went to law school. - Tea Pain

Seeking asylum is a human right. We shouldn't charge fees to people who are fleeing persecution and violence.

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, but first give us $50?" No. - Hillary Clinton

Republican Shenanigans

How far will Lindsey Graham go today in protecting Trump and Barr? We may see Lindsey break the record for Trump Toadyism. Which he already holds. - David Corn

Bring it on.

Hillary, Hillary, Hillary!
The Senate Judiciary Committee hearing Wednesday was supposed to be about the Mueller report, but over and over, Republican senators drilled down on something else: Hillary Clinton's emails. Sitting at the witness table was Attorney General William Barr, ready to

“I entirely appreciate loyalty to one’s friends, but loyalty to the cause of justice and honor stands above it.” - Theodore Roosevelt

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Rock The Voter News

Fox News Viewership Must Have Increased To Cause This
With Robert Mueller's investigation finished, Donald Trump's approval rating stands at its highest level since April 2017 in a new CNN Poll conducted by SSRS, as the share who say Democrats in Congress are doing too much to investigate the President rises 6 points.
Trump's approval rating remains largely negative in the new poll -- 52% disapprove

Barr said “Bob [Mueller], what’s up with the letter, why not just pick up the phone?”

Translation: Why the hell did you create a paper record I can’t deny?

Commentary: Because Bill, even he no longer trusts you. - Philippe Reines

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Business/Tech News

Barr has all but dared Mueller to bury him. -Philippe Reines

When All Else Fails: Namecall!
"Snitty."
That's the way Attorney General William Barr described a letter from special counsel Robert Mueller expressing concerns about his portrayal of the Russia probe.

I told my therapist, "I just want to be as happy as a Trader Joe's cashier." - Conan O'Brien

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Finish The Casita Fundraiser

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

White House to seek billions of dollars in new funds for border crisis

White House to seek billions of dollars in new funds for border crisis
The White House is expected to soon ask Congress for billions of dollars in emergency funding to deal with the humanitarian crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border, according to multiple sources, although none of these funds will be used for a border wall.

If Mike Pence was actually a Christian he’d be at the border embracing and welcoming migrants.
Instead he calls them “illegals” while literally supporting a man who ripped off US vets w/an online scam. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Wild-Eyed Marco Rubio Embarks In Rowboat To Help Venezuela Coup Effort . - The Onion

FYI: We Can Thank George W. Bush For Erik Prince
House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) said Tuesday he would make a criminal referral to the Justice Department for Erik Prince based on “strong evidence” that the Trump ally lied to Congress in 2017.
Schiff also said he believes Prince, the billionaire founder of a military contracting firm, misled the House Intelligence Committee by denying he was attempting to establish a back channel between Russia and Trump during the president’s transition.

Holy Guacamole! Trump's campaign is now callin' Trump a "savior" sent by God. In their Gospel, Jesus cancels his crucifixion due to bone spurs. - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

Jacob Wohl & Jack Burkman, like Trump & Jared, prove that sometimes the stupid is stronger than the sinister. I call them "Dim Shady."- John Fugelsang

Trump reminds you he's pro-life for women but pro-choice for mistresses. - John Fugelsang

Trump Is Suing Everyone!
President Donald Trump and his family are suing Deutsche Bank and Capital One to block subpoenas issued by House Democrats seeking Trump’s financial records.
In the federal lawsuit filed Monday in New York, Trump’s lawyers argued that the subpoenas serve “no legitimate or lawful purpose.”

If Joe Biden & Anita Hill both agree he owes her an apology, fantastic. I hope they work things out between them.

You know who REALLY owes Anita Hill an apology?

ClarencefuckingThomas.

Why is the actual abuser getting a pass in all this? STILL getting a pass? - John Asher tweet

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Americans Favor Fifteen Dollars An Hour For Congress - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Rod Rosenstein resigning effective 5/11. A recent exchange I had with him:

Me: You quoted Donald Trump on respecting the rule of law. Seriously?

RR: It was a good quote.

Me: Do you think he believed it?

RR: [Pause]

Me: Do you?

RR: Those were good words. - David Corn, Mother Jones

Rosenstein May Be Called Before The House
Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein is resigning, but Democrats are already talking about calling him to testify before the House Judiciary Committee.
Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA) said on MSNBC’s The Beat With Ari Melber, “Well, it’s very interesting. I think that he was very disappointing, especially the way that he handled things at the end with Barr standing behind him as he had the press conference. So it will be interesting to see whether he comes before our committee and what he has to say now that he will not be an employee of the Department of Justice.”

Rod Rosenstein is the colonel from Bridge on the River Kwai, only without the bridge. - David Frum

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"Rosenstein said that he didn’t want to go out with a tweet, so instead he went out with a love letter to Trump". ~Harold Goodman

In the last 18 years Republicans have voted 9 times in favor of raising their own salary. Raising it a total of $99,000

In that same time they’ve also voted 14 times against raising minimum wage and attempted 71 times to take away people’s healthcare.

Business/Tech News

I like when politicians give tax cuts to corps that sent US jobs overseas, then say high taxes are driving the jobs away. - John Fugelsang

How To Overturn An Order by James Mattis
Former Defense Secretary James Mattis declined to carry out orders from President Trump or otherwise limited his options in various attempts to prevent tensions with North Korea, Iran and Syria from escalating, The New Yorker reported Monday, the latest account of Trump’s own officials trying to check his worst instincts.
"The president thinks out loud. Do you treat it like an order? Or do you treat it as part of a longer conversation? We treated it as part of a longer conversation,"

Unbeatable ‘Jeopardy!’ Champ Says Key To Success Is Threatening Other Contestants With Nail-Studded Baseball Bat During Commercials. - The Onion

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Finish My Casita Fundraiser!

It is 102° in my kitchen. This is abnormal heat that has been going on for 3 days. The locals are hot and worried! Me, too. I don't want to die!! An air conditioner moved to the top of my wish list.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Trump accuses New York attorney general of illegally investigating NRA

Trump accuses New York attorney general of illegally investigating NRA
President Donald Trump on Monday accused the New York attorney general's office of illegally investigating the National Rifle Association and called on the group, which has been roiled by a leadership fight, to "get its act together quickly."

What could the New York Attorney General do if she found wrongdoing in the NRA?
She could seek to remove the board, she could force it to pay back funds improperly obtained
In an extreme case she could even force them to dissolve or cease operations. - Tim Mak, NPR

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Welcome to America

where our president assures you he wasn't defending white supremacists

he was merely defending people who defend monuments to white supremacy. - John Fugelsang

Trump Is Treading In Dangerous Waters
American naval vessels transited through the Taiwan Strait for the seventh time since July, highlighting the U.S.’s strategic rivalry with China as Taiwanese presidential hopeful and Foxconn founder Terry Gou called for the island to adopt high-tech defense mechanisms...

The president of the United States is advising the NRA on how to avoid a state investigation. It’s the weekend after more mass shootings, and he’s kissing that ass while trashing New York and the American legal system. Happy Monday! - Adam Parkhomenko

Republican Shenanigans

It just stuns me to no end that millions of stupid f*cks think this moron is the answer. - Jeff Tiedrich

Uh Oh. Trump Insults Fox News Friend
Fox News senior judicial analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano has responded to President Trump’s weekend Twitter broadside against him, expressing some surprise to Fox Business anchor Maria Bartiromo.
“This is the way you treat your friends? How do you treat your enemies?” the judge said while opening up the segment on Monday morning. ...

Trump says he's a "student of history." Really? Prove it! Show us your grades! - Bette Midler

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The third Article of Impeachment against Richard Nixon charged him with failing "without lawful cause or excuse to produce papers and things as directed by duly authorized subpoenas issued by the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives." - Bill Kristol

Hillary Granted My Wish!
Hillary Clinton is featured in a new video reading aloud excerpts of a redacted version of special counsel Robert Mueller's report, including a line in the report that quotes President Donald Trump bemoaning the appointment of Mueller.

Rock The Voter News

Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden should run together. I’d love to see America with mandatory 4PM naps. - Conan O'Brien

Finally, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Dresses Appropriately In Prison Stripes

Her knees look like eyes.

To Impeach Or Not To Impeach, That Is The Question. I Say GO FOR IT!
Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-La.), a member of the House Judiciary Committee, said Sunday that Democrats should consider bringing impeachment proceedings against President Trump.
Richmond, appearing on CBS's "Face the Nation," also called for Trump to testify under oath.
“I think it’s the best way to get all of the facts out," Richmond said.

16.9% of Americans think chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Who do you think they voted for? - Hoodlum tweet

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Oliver North, because when I feel that Wayne LaPierre isn't corrupt enough to lead the NRA, I turn to the deranged ideologue who secretly sold weapons to Iran and went to prison for obstructing justice and is somehow now a hero to the moronic hordes who worship guns and hate Iran. - Jeff Tiedrich

Business/Tech News

I don't get it. The tech Godzillas have all the algorithms in the world to get us to buy shit, so why can't they keep hate speech off the internet? Those video games are no help either. Fuckers sit around in diapers shooting & shooting, because if they leave, their team loses - Bette Midler

Good News! 55% Of Americans Aren't Insane!
55% of Americans say they definitely would not consider voting for Pres. Trump in 2020, new ABC News/WaPo poll finds.

“Go to your synagogue. We need to fill up those rooms. We need to show them that terrorism will not prevail,” Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein said outside of Chabad of Poway, urging even the Jews who haven’t been to synagogue in a long while to show up this weekend in solidarity.

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Finish My Casita Fundraiser

If you can afford a dollar or two it would greatly help.

I love my little cabin. I need to finish the roof fascia and gutters. Kitchen cabinets would be nice. See that pole leaning next to my front door? It was a rake, may it rest in peace.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

AllHatNoCattle proudly presents this award

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

White House to seek billions of dollars in new funds for border crisis

Monday, April 29, 2019

Trump accuses New York attorney general of illegally investigating NRA

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