All Hat No Cattle

Friday, February 1, 2019

There are no bricks for his wall, so he's gonna...

Trump: 'Good chance' I will declare emergency to build wall
President Trump said Friday there is a “good chance” he will declare a national emergency to circumvent Congress and build a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.
“I think there’s a good chance we’ll have to do that,” Trump told reporters

The polar vortex has already killed more people than immigrants but I don't hear anyone declaring a national emergency to build the homeless some walls and roof. - mith tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The last time I remember a president that ignored Intel, 9-11 happened

Just a friendly reminder that we have an acting defense secretary, acting attorney general, acting White House chief of staff, and acting interior secretary.

This Is Apparently Just For Show -- See, We're Tuff On Them Russians
Trump makes it official: U.S. to quit missile treaty with Russia
The decision to halt the U.S. role in the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty has raised concerns about a renewed arms race with Moscow.

Pence: “I Believe God Wanted Trump To Be President So I Could Be President. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump's idea of "good news" is your wife catchin' you callin' your drug dealer instead of your mistress. - Tea Pain

Jared Kushner Security Clearance Chaos Update
President Donald Trump on Thursday denied intervening to overrule White House staff who had sought to deny Jared Kushner a security clearance.

Trump says he was disappointed to see the FBI's raid on #RogerStone "go down that way." It's okay, putz...You'll have many more opportunities to see other raids go down. Maybe even one up super-close! - Bette Midler

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NY should rename 5th Ave "Barack Obama Ave" so that Trump Tower will have to use that as its address forever. - Josh Goodman

Rock The Voter News

GOP Caucus Threatens To Ht Democrats With A Wet Noodle
The House Freedom Caucus was created to make life hell for the majority. Now, it’s the Democrats’ turn to suffer.
After last fall’s 40-seat electoral disaster, the conservative hard-liners have agreed to a cease-fire with their long-suffering GOP leadership as they work together to try to crush Democrats at the polls next year.

CNN: Happy Black History Month!
NBC: Happy Black History Month!
Fox News: At this station we say Merry Christmas. - OhNoSheTwint

I was wondering earlier what the ranking of babies named Donald was and I found this...

What is so frightening is America's appetite for drugs. We indirectly created cartels causing chaos throughout Central and South America and we reject people fleeing from the violence.
The answer isn't a wall.

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Business/Tech News

Trump said that El Chapo’s "tremendous success in the private sector” showed that he has what it takes to “shake things up” at the D.E.A. - Andy Borowitz

The Family That Scams Together, Stays Together In Cellblock #1
President Donald Trump’s three eldest children were deeply involved in a scam promoted on “The Apprentice” reality TV show, according to a lawsuit filed by four former clients

As we celebrate Black History Month and Jackie Robinson’s 100th birthday, we celebrate the life of all whose courage opened the gates for everybody, and in the process, made America better. - Barack Obama

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Thursday, January 31, 2019

CyberWar Heats Up

Russia making repeated attempts to hack prominent conservatives and foreign policy experts
Russia’s military intelligence agency has been busted for persistently attempting to hack into the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a prominent think tank populated by former U.S. government officials.

Trump’s IQ Hits Seventy Below Zero - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

“I know a lot more than people with intelligence do," Trump said. - Andy Borowitz

FYI: That's Dennis Rodman.

Deplorable Empathy
Multiple schools across the country are closed due to the frigid cold that has reportedly claimed the lives of eight people so far. However, Kentucky’s Tea Party Gov. Matt Bevin believes that children in his state should tough it out.

Before Trump invades Venezuela, he should be required to spell Venezuela. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump's Bid To Be Born-Again Fails As Jesus Turns Down Facebook Friend Request. - Andy Borowitz

This Is How A Republican Congressman Greeted A Freshman Congresswoman
A Republican congressman freaked out when Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN), a Muslim and a Somali-American, was selected to serve on a committee with influence over U.S. foreign policy, and he melted down again when she called out his bigoted remarks.

Pelosi says it was "courageous" that intelligence officials "spoke truth to power. "The president doesn't seem to have the attention span or the desire to hear what the intelligence community has been telling him,"

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Howard Schultz is a reminder of how wealthy, opinionated white guys are just like Starbucks: there’s one on every f*cking corner. - Bette Midler

Rock The Voter News

An FBI agent will wipe that smirk off.

Kushner Khaos Kontinues
A White House security specialist has been suspended without pay for defying her supervisor Carl Kline, less than a week after NBC News reported Kline approved Jared Kushner for top secret clearane over the objections of career staff.
The specialist, Tricia Newbold, had filed a discrimination complaint against Kline three months ago.

It is the quintessence of white privilege to be walked out of your home in a crisp blue Polo shirt and later go on tv to complain about excessive force... Eric Garner sold cigarettes, Roger Stone sold out his country... Yet the latter lived to complain about ‘excessive force’...- Cyrus McQueen

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Business/Tech News

Donald Trump Jr. is what would happen if someone tried to make stupid from concentrate, but forgot to add water.- Middle Age Riot tweet

Trump Wants His Wall At Any Cost, Correction, Your Cost.
Congress has until Feb. 15 to discuss a border security deal, but the White House is already finalizing its plan B — declaring a national emergency.

Do you think the guy who invented French bread was overcompensating? - Conan O'Brien

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Behold, a tip jar!

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Trump & McConnell are cut out of the same cloth

McConnell open to anti-shutdown legislation
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that he would be open to a bipartisan proposal that would put an end to government shutdowns.
At a press conference Tuesday, McConnell said he hopes that shutdowns can be avoided in the future and would consider a proposal to stop them from occurring.

Trump is expected to spend Super Bowl weekend at Mar-a-Lago. And Sarah Suckabee Sanders will be spending it on the sidelines in case they need an extra linebacker. I’m not body shaming her, I’m saying she’s good at protecting someone with deflated balls. - Chelsea Handler

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Imagine having data from 17 intelligence agencies at your fingertips and choosing instead to get your daily briefing from a third-rate morning chat show. - Jeff Tiedrich

#BeBest
A senior United Nations judge who worked in one of the body's international courts in The Hague is reportedly resigning over "shocking" political interference from the Trump administration and Turkey.
The German judge, Christoph Flügge, accused the U.S. of threatening other judges after steps were taken to investigate U.S. soldiers' conduct in Afghanistan...

More Americans were killed last year by toddlers w/guns than by terrorists. I think we all know who the real threat is. - John Fugelsang

Republican Shenanigans

Your refusal to accept the unanimous assessment of U.S. Intelligence on Iran, No. Korea, ISIS, Russia, & so much more shows the extent of your intellectual bankruptcy. All Americans, especially members of Congress, need to understand the danger you pose to our national security. - John Brennan, former CIA Director

I Didn't Know Trump Was A Super Spy
President Trump in a series of early morning tweets on Wednesday pushed back on warnings from his own top intelligence officials about the stark threats still posed by ISIS, saying the caliphate would “soon be destroyed.”

Trump doesn’t believe the US intelligence chiefs he appointed. But he does believe Vladimir Putin.

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Rock The Voter News

Any sign of a SecDef nominee yet? I mean, this is a little weird to have such a long period without even a nominee to one of the most important national security positions in our government. - Kelly Magsamen

Is Impeachment Off The Table Because Pelosi's Waiting For Mueller...?
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) is keeping her troops in line on one of the most divisive issues facing Democrats internally and the country more broadly: the impeachment of President Trump.

In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people. - TheTweetOfGod

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Business/Tech News

This presidency is a hate crime. - TheTweetOfGod

DOJ versus China
The criminal charges against Chinese firm Huawei mark a sharp escalation in the Trump administration’s fight with China.
The company and Beijing are vowing to fight back and both sides are digging in, setting the stage for a battle that will likely impact upcoming trade talks.

The polar vortex caused hundreds of injuries across the Midwest today, as people who said “so much for global warming” and similar comments were punched in the face. - Andy Borowitz

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