Trump latest distraction: Teach Bible Study In Public Schools

Trump kicks off the week by pushing ‘Bible literacy classes’
President Donald Trump, fresh off an embarrassing loss on the shutdown and his wall to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, is turning his attention from the Southern border to an entirely different topic: religion.

The only reason you're president is that 62 million self-described Christians were completely illiterate about Jesus' teachings.

Every time Trump mentions the Bible an angel coughs up blood. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Terrorism expert warns that if Trump calls for violence — his supporters will be all too happy to comply
• Trump on Sunday lifts sanctions on businesses linked to Russian oligarch tied to Manafort
• ‘Hawkish’ Trump asked Lindsey Graham if he should deploy the military to Venezuela
• Britain has martial law option under Brexit no-deal, but no plan to exercise it: government secretary

Last week felt like a month.

Profiling Fail By ICE
Libyan comedian Mohanad Elshieky revealed on Twitter that he was pulled aside by ICE agents attempting to “raid” a Greyhound bus on its way from Spokane, Washington to Portland, Oregon.

Pelosi Refuses To Return Trump’s Testicles. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Chris Christie laughed in Trump’s face after president said Mueller’s probe would end with Flynn
• Are Republicans keeping House Intelligence Committee unstaffed to slow Mueller investigation?
• GOP chairman plans rule change to aid Trump nominees
• Criminal attorney says Roger Stone has a ‘death wish’: ‘He was poking Mueller in the eye to come after him’
• Jerome Corsi says he’s ‘happy’ to testify against Stone
• Ann Coulter flattens Newt Gingrich for Trump flattery after shutdown disaster: ‘At least I don’t have to kiss his ass!’
• Ex-Trump aide: Stephen Miller said he'd be happy if no refugee ever again set foot in US 
• GOP lawmaker who employs hundreds of minors looks to abolish all state child labor laws
• ‘Mean as a snake!’ Former White House aide compares early Trump-McConnell meeting to Goodfellas
• Duke professor out after telling Chinese students to speak English
• Fox News host says women who don’t let terminally ill fetuses die in womb are having ‘recreational abortions’

Donald Trump is going to be the first president to have a prison wing named after him. - Tim Hanlon

Trump Revels In Trashing Past Presidents? WTF?
President Donald Trump has invited “hundreds, if not thousands” of guests to tour private areas of the White House, according to a new book, and frequently makes crass or demeaning comments about his predecessors. 

At what point does not impeaching the president become treason?- Middle Age Riot tweet

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Pelosi Sends Trump LEGO Wall for Desk as Consolation Prize - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• ‘We’re way past collusion’: House Intel Dem predicts Mueller’s ‘closing act’ may implicate Trump
• Dem nails Trump's lack of empathy for unpaid workers: 'The president and many of his associates are sociopaths'
• Kamala Harris Formally Launches Presidential Campaign
• Ted Lieu endorses Kamala Harris for president: 'She embraces the future'

Hillary: I’m not running.
Random person: Hillary says she hasn’t ruled out running.
Fox News: PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON ANNOUNCES REELECTION BID WITH THE CARAVAN AS HER VP PICK! - OhNoSheTwint

Tom Brokaw? TOM BROKAW?
Former "NBC Nightly News" anchor Tom Brokaw tweeted Sunday that he regrets saying on "Meet the Press" that Hispanics should "work harder ...

Opponents of Family Separation Urge Trump And Don Jr. To Be Jailed Together. - Andy Borowitz

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Russians Involved In Trump Campaign Hold Reunion - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

• Trump’s push for new offshore drilling is likely to run aground in California
• Trump ordered a baffled Larry Kudlow to stop a nonexistent Amazon deal during his first week on the job: Ex-WH aide
• Misinformation woes could multiply with 'deepfake' videos
• The digital drug: Internet addiction spawns US treatment programs

As I see it, now that the government is temporarily open again, that gives the FBI just three weeks to arrest Trump and every member of his family. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Doesn't Get Along With American Billionaires, Only Russian Billionaires It Seems
President Donald Trump on Monday ripped former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, saying the business titan "doesn't have the 'guts' to run for President!" "Watched him on @ 60Minutes last night and I agree with him that he is not the 'smartest person,'" Trump wrote.

A lot of white people need to work harder at assimilating into the human race. - TheTweetOfGod

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The fallen banana tree says...

Construction began yesterday and completion of the house shell/floor is projected to occur in 21 days.

I am so excited!!

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Odd News

• 75% of the US will suffer below-freezing temps this week 
• Police rescue toddler from toy predicament
• Man breaks record for putting matches out on tongue
•  Postal truck struggling in snow explodes
• Huge Space Rocks Are Hitting Earth Twice as Often as Before

Time To Deflate Photo

Boneyard Falls, Australia. We don't have to guess how it got its name.

Peace.

Witch #6 arrested

Roger Stone arrested in Mueller investigation
The White House insists the charges of lying to congressional investigators and witness tampering "don’t have anything to do with the president."

Speaker Pelosi on Roger Stone indictment:
"It is very interesting to see the kinds of people that the president of the United States has surrounded himself with."

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• British foreign secretary's advice to Trump: Take advantage of alliances
• Benghazi hangs over U.S. decision to leave diplomats in Venezuela
• Trump defends North Korea progress 

White House On Lockdown After Television Is Hurled Out Window - Andy Borowitz

Trump Caves To Pelosi! Opens Government!
The president announced on Friday that he’d sign a short-term spending bill without money for the wall. ... The legislation would fund the government through February 15, on the condition that lawmakers continue negotiations on border security and Trump’s border wall demands 

Was There Fisticuffs Involved?
Frustrated GOP senators read Vice President Pence the riot act at a closed-door meeting Thursday, telling him the partial government shutdown needs to end soon, according to lawmakers in the room.

"FBI, open the door!"
"Hold on, I need to put on my spats, morning coat, and jaunty top hat." - Rick Wilson

Fun Fact: Roger Stone is being processed at the same courthouse I gave my We Call BS speech almost a year ago.  Sometimes the universe has a funny sense of humor :-) - Emma González, Parkland High School shooting survivor

Channeling Nixon. How Apropos.

Republican Shenanigans

• CNN responds to Trump dig about being at Stone arrest: ‘That’s called journalism’
• Roger Stone drowned out by ‘lock him up’ chants while giving press conference to blast Mueller
• 'Prepare to die': Mueller's latest indictment is littered with Roger Stone's wild threats
• Ex-Trump adviser Roger Stone had regularly taunted Mueller before his arrest
• Michael Cohen's lawyer says he fears Trump is encouraging 'vigilantism' against his family
• GOP insiders snap at new chief of staff Mulvaney for shutdown debacle: ‘He screwed this up and now we’re boxed in’
• Florida secretary of state resigns after blackface photographs emerge

Trump furious that FBI not stopped by shutdown - Andy Borowitz

Can Ivanka, Don Jr., Eric or Jared Be Indicted Next?
Former CIA director John Brennan predicted more indictments would be coming soon in special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe — and he suggested those could include members of President Donald Trump’s family.

Trump was too scared to give Pelosi a nickname, and then she cancelled his SOTU address. Congratulations to Neuterin’ Nancy! - Stephen Colbert

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Rock The Voter News

• Ted Cruz shouted at by Democrat incensed over shutdown
• Warren readies plan for tax on ‘ultra-millionaires’
• Democrats clash with Trump Cabinet officials declining to testify

FBI Director Dresses Down Trump
FBI Director Christopher Wray, handpicked by President Donald Trump to replace Jim Comey, has just publicly released a video expressing his anger over the federal government shutdown, while verbalizing his support and empathy for what his employees are having to go through.

What happens when Trump barricades himself in the Situation Room with the nuclear codes and demands a trillion dollars or he incinerates Paris? - driftglass tweet

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Business/Tech News

• Oil prices jump as U.S. threatens sanctions against Venezuela
• Unemployment claims by federal workers skyrocket during shutdown
• America's most expensive home sells for $238m to hedge fund boss
• America's favorite Valentine's Day candy is unavailable this year

"Secretary Ross, they've just shut down LaGuardia Airport to incoming flights.""Why is that a problem?  People can always fly into Signature at Teterboro.  That's what I always do.  It's better for them even.  Because they let your chauffeur pull up right to the plane."- David Rothkopf

Amazon Delivery Robots On The Move!
Amazon is bringing delivery robots to the streets of Snohomish County.
The Seattle-based online shopping giant says it started to test the self-driving robots Wednesday that can bring Amazon packages to shoppers' doorsteps.

Doesn’t seem like the wall around Roger Stone’s house did much to stop the caravan of FBI agents.- Andy Lassner

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Odd News

• Python hiding in toilet bites woman's buttocks
• Police: Woman drove drunk on vanilla extract
• Lasers can beam audible messages directly to people's ears
• NFL investigating laser pointer used on Tom Brady
• Woman sues NASA over moon dust from Apollo 11 artifact bag

Time To Deflate Photo

Drive-in liquor store, Los Angeles, 1949. I wonder why it didn't catch on.

Peace.

Wilbur Ross: 'I don't quite understand' why federal workers need food banks during shutdown

Ross: 'I don't quite understand' why federal workers need food banks during shutdown
Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross said Thursday that he was confused why thousands of federal workers, who've already missed one paycheck, are relying on food banks during the partial government shutdown.

Lara Trump: I’m going to have the most out of touch take regarding federal workers this week

Wilbur Ross: Hold my Dom Pérignon - Roland Scahill

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• 'Doomsday clock' setting closest to global annihilation since Cold War
• US Intelligence community has mobilized against Trump and Russia — and he doesn’t even know it
• Trump-loving conspiracy theorist busted in terrorist plot to bomb Muslim community
• Fox Nation host: Parents should tell sons ‘lynch mobs’ are coming after them for being ‘white Christian boys’
• Pompeo slams Venezuela's Maduro

If I see even ONE person wearing a MAGA cap I feel uncomfortable, if I see a whole group of people wearing em, I feel threatened. Same way I'd feel if I encountered an entire group wearing Nazi uniforms or KKK robes. 
The #CovingtonBoys were a threat when they put those hats on. - Paul Lee Ticks

Pelosi Holds Her Weekly Press Conference
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she would meet with President Trump "anytime he wants" as she pressed for an end to the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. However, she said there are currently no plans for a meeting with the president. "The last time we met it was a photo-op for the president to leave the room," she said at her weekly press conference on Capitol Hill

Nancy Pelosi on Wilbur Ross saying "I don't understand why someone would need to go to a food bank:" “Is this the ‘let them eat cake’ kind of attitude? Or call your father for money?”

Republican Shenanigans

• Cohen subpoenaed to testify before Senate Intel: report
• Cohen's lawyer calls for criminal investigation into Giuliani over 'witness tampering'
• House panel cancels hearing after Mnuchin declines to appear: report 
• Ex-White House aide says 'cartoon villain' Kellyanne Conway bad-mouthed colleagues
• Anthony Scaramucci Exits 'Celebrity Big Brother' for Davos
• Conservative journalist calls Trump border rhetoric the 'Vesuvius of misinformation'

The Covington Catholic kids are a model for modern US Christian Fundamentalism, which is:
All it takes to be a good Trump Christian is opposing abortion, which Christ never mentioned; so go ahead & crap on marginalized groups, reject empathy & wear blackface at basketball games. - John Fugelsang

Never Stop A Man Digging Himself Deeper Into A Hole
President Donald Trump on Thursday bragged about his former “fixer” backing off publicly testifying against him after the president had lobbed multiple threats aimed at his father-in-law.

Fact that there aren’t massive, weekly  demonstrations in the streets  is kind of mind boggling. (I’m just as much to blame as everyone else) - Eric Boehlert

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Rock The Voter News

• Manchin to back Trump proposal to end shutdown
• Elizabeth Warren to propose new 'wealth tax'
• Washington Nationals donate $100K to support federal workers amid shutdown
• Shelia Jackson Lee leaves 2 posts after suit claims retribution for staffer reporting sexual assault

The U.S. had an illegitimate election and now has an illegitimate president. Trump is America’s bastard. - irishygirl

Manafort Might As Well Have A Tattoo On His Forehead That Says PARDON ME
Lawyers for Paul Manafort, the convicted former campaign chairman for President Donald Trump, used a court filing to deny that he broke his plea agreement by lying to prosecutors when he was supposed to be cooperating. The filing came Wednesday as Manafort’s legal team seeks to ...

Memo to the "We need to get rid of Nancy Pelosi as Speaker" crowd: You were super fvcking wrong. - Jon Zal

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Business/Tech News

• Southwest's profit falls; airline says federal shutdown has cost it up to $10-15 million
• HuffPost layoffs underway a day after Verizon announced cuts
• BuzzFeed to cut 15% of staff in new round of layoffs
• Kushner Evicting Times Square Tenant, Endangering Loan Payments
• EPA polluter penalties fall to lowest level since 1994

Has the Space Force been furloughed?

Walmart Truck Drivers Needed Pronto!
Not only will Walmart drivers be making, on average, $87,500 a year beginning in February, but the company says it will be hiring hundreds of drivers this year to join its fleet.
The company also plans to implement a new process in its hiring in order to speed things up, expediting the time it takes to complete a new hire.

Dems Agree To Fund Wall And Reopen Government If Trump leaves Country Forever. - Andy Borowitz

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Odd News

• School superintendent charged with fraud for allegedly using her insurance to help sick student
• Secret Service agents distributing Challenge Coins mocking shutdown: ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get back pay’
• Scientists recreate 'Freak Wave' in the lab -- and it looks like art
• Company selling boxes of used tissues for $80
• Mansion owner offering home in exchange for essay

Time To Deflate Photo

This is so cool. Another  way to show Earth's real shape, is to use a clever montage of a total lunar eclipse's phases, where the shadow is composed in a neat circle,

Peace.