All Hat No Cattle

Friday, January 18, 2019

I wonder if Trump will resign or defect first

President Trump Directed His Attorney Michael Cohen To Lie To Congress About The Moscow Tower Project
President Donald Trump directed his longtime attorney Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about negotiations to build a Trump Tower in Moscow, according to two federal law enforcement officials involved in an investigation of the matter.

Interesting to note, is that this information comes from two federal law enforcement officials involved in "AN" investigation. Was it Mueller's people who leaked this info to Buzzfeed, or the Southern District of New York or...? Buzzfeed published the Steele Dossier while the New York Times passed on it.

It’s nice to wake up and learn that Donald Trump is f*cked. - Tony Posnanski

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

On the same day top North Korean nuclear negotiator Kim Yong Chol meets in Washington with US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and possibly President Trump, the Pentagon rolls out a new missile defense strategy that says Pyongyang poses an 'extraordinary threat.' - Will Ripley, CNN

It's Always The Cover Up That Nails These Guys
Former Attorney General Eric Holder called for impeachment proceedings to begin if a report from Buzzfeed News saying President Trump directed Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about plans to build a Trump Tower in Moscow during the 2016 presidential campaign are true.

Watergate is starting to look like something cute with a boopable nose. - goldengateblond tweet

Republican Shenanigans

I’m starting to think that the Space Force is part of Trump’s getaway plan. - Marie Connor

Mitch McConnell Wants To Play Musical Chairs
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has been urging Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to run for the Kansas Senate seat that will be left vacant by retiring Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) despite President Donald Trump’s strong objection.

Better President Pelosi than President Putin - Jeff Tiedrich

How odd that Karen Pence thinks Christ's teaching is all about sex
I must check the New Testament again. - John Cleese

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Pelosi’s office says her delegation tried to continue with Afghanistan trip by flying commercial but that Trump letter exposed the group and US troops to “danger” by disclosing the travel plans. - Jim Acosta, CNN

Rock The Voter News

The Gray Lady Has Some Mold
With the recent revelation that the FBI has long suspected Donald Trump of being a Russian puppet, Dean Baquet owes Liz Spayd an overdue apology.
In May 2017, Baquet, as New York Times executive editor, oversaw the elimination of the paper's public-editor position, effectively firing Spayd before her two-year term was up. As public editor, it was Spayd's job to act as an internal Times watchdog, answer reader questions, and address concerns about news coverage.
Why was Spayd pushed out?
In November 2016 and again in January 2017, Spayd wrote columns that criticized the paper's "timid" coverage of the Russia hacking scandal during the presidential campaign.

I can handle our enemies just fine. It's some of our so-called allies who keep me up at night. - driftglass

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Business/Tech News

We live in a world where Buzzfeed is breaking serious news stories, our president wants a space army and sleeps with porn stars, and one of our best hopes of getting to Mars is an eccentric billionaire embroiled in a financial lawsuit over Tweets he made while tripping balls. - Richard Jeter

Hey, Mr. Mueller, I'm Not A Lawyer But Is This Witness Intimidation?
President Donald Trump on Friday issued a new threat against the father-in-law of his former “fixer” over Twitter.

If prayer rugs flew, I’d convert. - John Aravosis

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Almost there! Thank you!

Thursday, January 17, 2019

So when do we start calling him, President Putin?

Donald Trump Personally Phoned ‘NYT’ Reporter To Defend Vladimir Putin Against Election Hacking Accusations
Following a meeting with Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump once picked up the phone to call a 'New York Times' reporter to make an extraordinary claim about the Russian strongman.

The simple truth is that Trump is now vastly overmatched by people vastly smarter and more knowledgeable than he is. He truly has no clue what to do. When your main advisers are your experience free daughter and son-in-law, you are truly alone. - Tony Schwartz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

It's always nice to remind yourself that Donald Trump thinks it's morally worse to deny him TV time than it is to starve 800,000 families or leave thousands to die in Puerto Rico.- LOLGOP

Guys, I’m starting to think Rudy Giuliani may be secretly working for Robert Mueller
Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s personal attorney, said that there could have been “collusion” between Trump’s presidential campaign and Russian officials, but if it did happen, Trump didn’t do it

Rudy Giuliani is the Grandpa Simpson of the Trump administration.- The USASingers tweet

If our government is "shut down," then how come the president's mic is still on?- Stephen Colbert

Republican Shenanigans

Lindsey Graham blackmailed by some salacious personal peccadillo is actually a more sympathetic explanation than he’s just an opportunistic toady. - Schooley tweet

Evangelical Poll Rigging
Michael Cohen paid the chief information officer for Jerry Falwell Jr.’s evangelical college to rig early polls in Donald Trump’s favor, according to a new report.

Paying someone from Liberty University cash in a bag to rig an online poll just reminds you that we're really not playing against the varsity here. - PopeHat tweet

For I was a stranger & you tear-gassed meI asked for asylum & you stole my children

I fled violence in my country from your drug war & you called me 'illegal'

But maybe the next time evangelicals vote they'll read the Gospels 1st instead of electing f*cking CaligulaAmen. - John Fugelsang

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Rock The Voter News

Thank god we took back the House… if you think the state of the union is in shambles now, just imagine the mess we’d be in if we didn’t. - William LeGate

Happy Birthday Michelle!

Here We Go Again. Hillary's Emails.
A federal judge has breathed new life into questions surrounding former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server and the 2012 attack that killed U.S. officials in Benghazi, Libya.
Judge Royce Lamberth ruled Tuesday that Obama administration officials, including national security adviser Susan Rice and deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes, must answer written questions as part of a conservative judicial advocacy group's Freedom of Information Act lawsuit against the State Department over Clinton's emails.

Fact that Ken Starr, who flushed $70M running unhinged and incompetent Clinton witch hunt and then lost his Univ job after covering up campus sexual assault, is still perceived by NYT as a Very Serious Person says a lot about our broken political culture. - Eric Boehlert

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Business/Tech News

Marco Rubio said, "Are you ready for President Kamala Harris declaring a national emergency over climate change?" Marco, are you FLIRTING WITH ME?! - Bette Midler

Criminal Case Brought Against China
The U.S. Justice Department will pursue a criminal case against Chinese tech giant Huawei for alleged trade secrets theft, according to The Wall Street Journal.
The charges revolve around theft of trade secrets related to a robotic device called "Tappy" made by T-Mobile, which was used in testing smartphones, according to the report.

Within period of 72 hours, Nixon was inaugurated for second term, LBJ died, Roe v. Wade was decided, Vietnam War settlement was announced--all 46 years ago this coming week. - Michael Beschloss

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Thank you!

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Day 26 of the shutdown

Kremlin says 'stupid' to suggest Trump a Russian agent
A top Kremlin aide on Wednesday dismissed as ridiculous claims that US President Donald Trump has acted as an agent for Russia amid mounting controversy over his alleged ties to Moscow.

Intel. 101:

Whose job is it to detect and to remove a Russian mole?

The F.B.I.

Who is paranoid about the F.B.I.?

A Russian mole. - Richard W. Painter

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

On a day when US troops are reported killed in Syria, Mike Pence declares at State: "ISIS has been defeated." - Michelle Kosinski, CNN

Surprise. Surprise. Those Republicans Unaffiliated With Russia Step Up To The Plate.
The Republican-led U.S. Senate voted on Tuesday to advance a resolution disapproving of a Trump administration plan to ease sanctions on Russian companies tied to Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska, clearing the way for debate and a vote on the plan.
The result marked a rare break from President Donald Trump. Eleven of Trump's fellow Republicans joined Democrats to vote 57-42 in favor of a motion to proceed to the resolution of disapproval.

[Trumps shoots a person on Fifth Avenue]

Rudy Giuliani: "is murder even a crime? I'm not sure it is"

Mitch McConnell: *crickets*

NBC internal memo: "don't refer to it as murder"

Maggie Haberman: "to be fair, it was only one person"

William Barr: "I am unfamiliar with this story" - Jeff Tiedrich

Russians Are Coming Out Of The Woodwork And Prison
An imprisoned model from Belarus who claimed last year she had evidence of Russian involvement in helping elect Donald Trump president has told Russian media she can't wait to be released. Anastasia Vashukevich, who has been in a Thai prison since February last year, was given a suspended sentenced Tuesday and ordered to be deported after she pleaded guilty to soliciting and conspiracy.

Republican Shenanigans

I hope everyone is starting to get over their anger at shaving products today. - Andy Lassner

Pelosi Puts Trump In The Time Out Corner
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has sent a letter to President Trump asking to move the day of the State of the Union address or deliver it in writing, citing security concerns from the ongoing government shutdown

If Trump now reopens Govt, he visibly surrenders to Pelosi.
If Trump keeps Govt closed, he bleeds support faster. Workers miss next paycheck, air travel delays, govt services fail, and economy stalls.
Trump built the trap and walked into it. Pelosi just locked it behind him. - David Frum

Looking forward to "Donald Trump's EXCLUSIVE State of the INCREDIBLE Union Address Show," live-streamed on Stormfront ($50 one-time fee applies) and brought to you by Trump Steaks. - Rex Huppke

Karen Pence teaches art at a parochial school which bans gay teachers, gay students and gay subject matter. The scariest part of all this is the idea of Karen Pence teaching art. - Paul Rudnick

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Rock The Voter News

Karen Pence is teaching at a school that bans gay employees and kids. Really makes you miss Dr. Jill Biden, also an educator, who used her Second Lady role to advocate for safe schools for LGBTQ students. - Adam Best

Unlucky 7
A day after congressional Democrats declined to meet with President Donald Trump over ending the government shutdown, at least seven House Democrats attended a White House meeting Wednesday aimed at reopening the government that has been partially closed for more than three weeks.

WOMEN: Treat us like humans.

MEN: You’re being sensitive and irrational.

GILLETTE: Men, we can be better.

MEN: *PTERODACTYL SCREAM* - Solomon Georgio tweet

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It is not possible to cheer on Donald Trump unless you reject almost every teaching of Jesus. If this makes you angry, find a teaching of Christ that DT has fought for.The only things Trump has in common w/Jesus is they both hung out with hookers & used ghostwriters. - John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

Trump A$$ Ki$$ers Are Everywhere!
T-Mobile signed a mega-merger that needs the Trump Administration's OK.
The next day, staff at Trump's DC hotel were told: we've got 9 high-level T-Mobile execs checking in.

Did you hear about the war between the conservatives and liberals? The conservatives threw sticks of dynamite at the liberals. The liberals lit the sticks of dynamite and threw them back

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Friday, January 18, 2019

I wonder if Trump will resign or defect first

Thursday, January 17, 2019

So when do we start calling him, President Putin?

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Day 26 of the shutdown

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