All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

An element of surprise would be nice at Trump's speech tonight

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer to deliver response to Trump Oval Office address
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Chuck Schumer (D-NY) will deliver the Democrats' response to President Donald Trump's Tuesday night Oval Office address to the...

The Democratic response to the Trump speech should be a 7 minute video of him saying ‘Mexico will pay for the wall’ over and over again. - Roland Scahill

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Let me guess. Trump is going to tell us the caravan is carrying weapons of mass destruction. - Tim Hanlon

Pompeo, The Great Benghazi Hunter, Will Try To Cover For Trump
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is heading out on what may prove his toughest trip yet, a weeklong swing through the Middle East in which he will give a major speech about America’s role in the region and privately reassure Arab allies that the U.S. remains committed to them.
In his speech, to be given in Cairo, Pompeo plans to repudiate the Middle East vision of former President Barack Obama...

I can tell you all this for sure- whatever ridiculous propaganda we were fed in then Czechoslovakia, which was mandated by Soviet Union- pales next to the lies being told and repeated by trump and his ilk. I am not kidding… trump truly trumps the communists. And that’s not easy, - Martina Navratilova

Really? Major networks are worried they’ll be attacked by Trump and called fake news, so they’re all airing his PR stunt tomorrow night. So instead of just being called fake news, they’re airing real fake news live. And helping Trump spread racist wall propaganda. Got it. - Scott Dworkin

Republican Shenanigans

PENCE: Who Are You Going To Believe? Me Or Your Lying Eyes.
Vice President Mike Pence on Tuesday said that President Trump will use his first prime-time Oval Office address to detail what he described as "a real humanitarian and security crisis at our southern border."
But when pressed by ABC News on the multiple falsehoods recently spread by the president about the immigration debate in recent days, the vice president argued that it shouldn't undermine the administration's credibility in the eyes of the American public.

Trump Offers To Station Pence At The Border With Binoculars In Lieu Of Wall - Andy Borowitz

Remember The Russian Adoption Lawyer?
Natalia Veselnitskaya, the Russian lawyer who in 2016 met with Trump campaign officials in Trump Tower, has been charged by federal prosecutors in a separate case that showed her close ties to the Kremlin, NYT reports.

On the bright side for Natalya Veselnitskaya, she won't have any more problems getting permission to enter the United States. - Matthew Miller

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I fiercely believe, as I said more than two decades ago, that human rights are women's rights and women's rights are human rights. - Hillary Clinton

Rock The Voter News

For-Profit Healthcare Thrives
Americans spend more than twice as much on health care per person as their peers in developed nations, according to a new analysis from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health

Trump's Speech to Be Simulcast in English. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

As of last Thursday, DOD will be run by a former senior Boeing executive. EPA is run by a former coal lobbyist. HHS is run by a former pharmaceutical lobbyist. And Interior will be run by a former oil-industry lobbyist. Welcome to 2019. - Eric Lipton, NYT

Trump's Tariffs Create Windfall For Russia
President Vladimir Putin said that Russia would supply soy beans and poultry meat to China and that the United States had effectively given up on that market.

When Larry Flynt dies, will his family discover a stash of New Yorker magazines in the back of his closet?- Conan O'Brien

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So close...

Monday, January 7, 2019

Democrats Attempt Screen Pass

Two Democratic senators call for blocking votes unrelated to shutdown
Both Democratic senators from Maryland said Sunday that the Senate shouldn't take up any legislation unrelated to the partial government shutdown until a vote is taken to reopen the government.

My prediction is that Trump cancels the state of the union when he realizes Nancy Pelosi will be sitting right behind him - mith tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Do you think Trump would agree to an emotional wall? - Conan O'Brien

Fox Host Schools Sarah Sanders
“We know that roughly nearly 4,000 known or suspected terrorists come into our country illegally, and we know that our most vulnerable point of entry is southern border,” Sarah Sanders began, but Fox's Chris Wallace cut her off.
“I know the statistic, I didn’t know if you were going to use it, but I studied up on this,” Wallace said. “Do you know what those 4,000 people come where they are captured? Airports.”
“Not always…” Sanders said weakly.

The cost of removing a President from office is smaller than the cost of allowing this President to remain. - Bette Midler

Republican Shenanigans

I have a serious question: when Trump is tried, will he be tried as an adult? - Turnip tweet

22 Immigrant Deaths In 2 Years. 22.
The 22 immigrants who died in the nation's sprawling network of detention centers over the past two years came to the United States from countries as far-flung as Vietnam, and as close as Mexico. Some had been longtime legal residents, arriving as refugees or students. Others were recent asylum seekers. Many were young — half were not yet 45 years old.

Right now some Deplorable is driving a crappy car on crumbling roads past abandoned storefronts to a low-paying job and nodding his head in agreement as he listens to some hate-radio screech-monkey explain that higher marginal tax rates for the ultra-wealthy will lead to disaster. - Jeff Tiedrich

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The impression you get from the president is that he would like not only close government, build a wall, but also abolish Congress, so the only voice that mattered was his own. - Nancy Pelosi

Rock The Voter News

Imagine being a political columnist who could write about literally any topic you wanted and, given everything going on in American politics these days, you decided to write about how a woman member of Congress used a swear word. - Nate Silver tweet

Wow. Vermont Newspaper Urges Bernie Not To Run For Prez.
The editorial board for The Barre-Montpelier Times Argus, a newspaper in Vermont, is urging Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) not to run for president in 2020.
"Bernie Sanders should not run for president. In fact, we beg him not to," the editorial board begins in a piece published on Saturday.

Lying should be a greater source of shame then cursing. - Xeni Jardin

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Soon trump supporters are gonna have to decide if their White Supremacy is more important than their Food Stamps or Tax Refunds ! - Mayday Mindy tweet

Business/Tech News

The real national emergency is that 800,000 federal workers will not get paychecks this week. - Amee Vanderpool

Giuliani's Preemptive Strike At Mueller Report
The White House may try to use executive privilege to keep parts of special counsel Robert Mueller's final report from being made public, Bloomberg News reported Monday, citing unidentified sources.
President Trump's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, told the news outlet that Trump's legal team "will look at it and see if the president thinks there is a valid claim" of executive privilege.

Hillary Launches Campaign To Raise $100 Million Or Else She'll Run For President. - The Onion

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Email
Subject: Donation

Lisa,

Now you need an even $300 -- happy new year!

Sharon

Thank you Sharon! Fingers crossed!

Friday, January 4, 2019

Gentlewomen, start your engines

Pelosi: Impeachment is 'divisive,' but colleague's coarse language is no worse than Trump's
In an MSNBC town hall, the newly elected House speaker said she has a "generational reaction" to the profane language a fellow Democrat used to describe the president.

Trump has absolutely no idea what’s coming. He understands that DC is about to change, but he’s never experienced — and he’s vastly unprepared for — real oversight.

Welcome, Madam Speaker. - Angry WH Staffer tweet

I'm not crying, you're crying!

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Mattis Wondering If His “I Quit, You Asshole” Letter Was Too Subtle For Trump. - Andy Borowitz

Meanwhile, America Is Apparently Having A Massive Nervous Breakdown
A "huge and largely unreported problem" is happening in ERs across the nation, one expert says.
"The extent to which ERs are now flooded with patients with mental illness is unprecedented," said Dr. David R. Rubinow, chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.

Paul Ryan left office with 12% approval rating.
Gas Station Sushi currently has 17% approval rating. - YS tweet

Republican Shenanigans

If I were Elizabeth Warren, and I won the nomination... I would go to the first debate dressed like Pocahontas. - Renee Libby

Trump Hold Scary Press Briefing With Bald Men
President Trump's first official appearance at the White House briefing room podium was a less of a briefing (he took no questions) and more of a speech pressing for his border wall

Mitt Romney, a millionaire-at-birth who supported the Vietnam war but avoided going, who likes to fire people & thinks millionaires have really had it rough, is here to present himself as a GOP alternative to Trump.- John Fugelsang

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A moment of silence for all the 2018 punditry saying that Pelosi would cost Democrats the majority and that her House colleagues wouldn’t elect her Speaker again.- Seth Masket

Rock The Voter News

Pace yourselves, GOP. If you’re upset because one woman danced and another one used a swear, you’ll be all out of pearls to clutch when the subpoenas start flying. - goldengateblond tweet

What In The World Is He Wearing & Why?
A photo of Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) is going viral for showing the former official exiting a Congressional building in a disheveled suit and tie pulled apart.

Très Gaudy

Benghazi was on his mind.

Surely Ocasio-Cortez’s political career is over after this footage we found of her doing a totally sick kickflip on a skateboard over a pit of kodiak grizzly bears while playing Freebird on a double-neck guitar. - Sam Sykes

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Business/Tech News

Pence Begs Trump Not To Make Him Sit Next to Pelosi During State of Union. - Andy Borowitz

Weird, I Noticed NBC Bias When Tim Russert Crucified Bill Clinton Weekly
Mainstream media’s pro-war posture hammered in veteran NBC reporter’s scathing resignation letter
"That a network insider has blown the whistle on how all this works, and how MSNBC and NBC have become Ground Zero for these political pathologies of militarism and servitude to security state agencies, while not surprising, is nonetheless momentous."

Dance like every conservative is whining. - Jeff Tiedrich

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