All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Oh, Look, the New York Times stopped writing about Hillary's emails

New York state tax department reviewing fraud allegations involving Trump in NYT article
New York state tax officials are investigating allegations detailed in an exhaustive New York Times investigation into Donald Trump and his family's business dealings.

I would like to state for the record that I am a self-made billionaire.
My dad only gave me $999,999,999.
And then I found a dollar on the ground. - Kumail Nanjiani

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

At this point the question isn’t whether Brett Kavanaugh is a liar. We all know that he is. The question is whether there are two Republican senators who care. - Andrew Weinstein

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Who's Running These Detention Facilities? The Marquis de Sade?
A Nicaraguan man who was detained at the Adelanto ICE Processing Center died in March 2017 after he was found hanging in his cell from his bedsheets. Not long after, two other detainees also used sheets in an attempt to hang themselves.
When federal officials arrived in May of this year for a surprise inspection of the privately run immigration detention facility, they found nooses made from bedsheets in 15 of 20 cells.
“When we asked two contract guards who oversaw the housing units why they did not remove the bedsheets, they echoed it was not a high priority,” officials with the Department of Homeland Security inspector general’s office wrote in a scathing report made public Tuesday detailing dangerous conditions found at the facility during their unannounced visit.

“You can do or say something that women don’t like, and suddenly millions of women will come out of the woodwork and vote against you," Trump said. "I think it’s a disgrace.” - Andy Borowitz

Trump Gleefully Mocks Dr. Ford To A Roaring Crowd
President Donald Trump for the first time directly mocked Christine Blasey Ford's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee by casting doubt on her testimony during a campaign rally.

Republican Shenanigans

Why are politicians acting like it’s hard to NOT sexually assault someone? - David Hogg

Beach Week Was Longer
The FBI is expected to conclude its Kavanaugh probe as soon as late Tuesday or early Wednesday, well ahead of the end-of-week deadline.
GOP aides on the Hill and another person familiar with the process said they were expecting the bureau to conclude its report as soon as late Tuesday or early Wednesday.

The only position Kavanaugh should hold in a courtroom is defendant.- Suave Hellion tweet

I'm just reading through today's [AHNC] edition and it struck me: it's one thing to be as sober as a judge; it's quite another thing to be as sober as Mark Judge. - Rick

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Rock The Voter News

Trump is an infection, a festering wound. But there’s an antidote. It costs nothing but a little time and energy. And it’s guaranteed to be very effective. It’s available everywhere on November 6th. Make America Well Again. Vote. - Ken Olin

Remember When Trump Said He Couldn't Release His Taxes Because He Was Being Audited? What Happened To That?
President Donald Trump’s sister, retired Judge Maryanne Trump Barry, was heavily implicated in the latest New York Times expose on the family’s history of tax evasion.

Please leave Judge Kavanaugh’s daughters alone. They do not belong in your cartoons, “jokes”, or skits. If you can’t make your point about Judge Kavanaugh, whatever it may be, without bullying his kids, it’s not worth making. - Chelsea Clinton

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Business/Tech News

Literally 100% of the Americans currently roaring with laughter about traumatic sexual assault are seven weeks away from having a meltdown if it doesn’t say CHRISTMAS on the coffee cup. - Dave Holmes

Today Would Be A Good Day For Mueller To File Charges
Special counsel Robert Mueller’s team is shrinking by two in the wake of its successful prosecution of Paul Manafort and amid signs the Russia investigation may be nearing its final stages.

The doppler radar for Central America looks scary. My dog is terrified.

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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Political Hack or Hired Gun, or Both?

McConnell: Senate will vote on Kavanaugh this week
McConnell said Tuesday that senators would vote "after the FBI shares what they've found."

Rapeaholic judges, another can't-miss idea from the people who brought you babies in concentration camps. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Jeez - I wonder what’s scarier, being sexually assaulted or being a privileged white American male between the ages of 15 and 30.- Ken Oli

Trump Punishing Diplomats For Being A Same-Sex Couple
The Trump administration on Monday began denying visas to same-sex domestic partners of foreign diplomats and United Nations employees, and requiring those already in the United States to get married by the end of the year or leave the country.

The lefts biggest problem is not staying mad. Our attention span sucks. Cons are still fuming about Jimmy Carter and we already seem to have forgotten them putting babies in jails let alone the whole Iraq War. - Oliver Willis

This whole Kavanaugh meltdown on the right really just seems like an invitation for dudes to project weird primal screams. - Eric Boehlert

Republican Shenanigans

Eric Trump is learning what we've all had to learn - that paying off dad's porn star mistress isn't as easy as paying a dude to lead you to an endangered species trophy-hunt in Zimbabwe. - John Fugelsang

When All Else Fails, Just Change The Word.
After President Trump was caught on-camera telling a reporter she “never” thinks during a Monday afternoon press conference, the White House moved to retroactively fix the president’s blunder by changing a word in the official transcript. While the president told ABC News reporter Cecilia Vega, “I know you’re not thinking. You never do,” the White House transcript reads, “I know you’re not thanking. You never do.”

I just hope that somebody asks this question: “Judge Kavanaugh, you have a 13-year-old daughter. In two years, when she comes to you and says, ‘Daddy, I’m going to a party with some boys from Georgetown Prep,’ what advice will you give to her?” - Rick Wise

I Thought I'd Have Some Fun And Google Kavanaugh With A Random Word I Chose, Reggae. Look What Came Up!
British reggae band UB40 have found themselves ensnared in the latest probe into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s collegial drinking habits following a report that Kavanaugh and some Yale classmates were involved in a bar fight following a UB40 concert in September 1985.

How Can Anyone Get In A Bar Fight After A UB40 Concert?

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Rock The Voter News

The same people who want us to get over Kavanaugh lying under oath still haven’t got over Hillary telling the truth under oath. - OhNoSheTwint

I Wonder If The Washington Times Apologized To Seth Rich's Parents or Hillary
The Washington Times has just published a lengthy retraction and apology to the brother of Seth Rich for an op-ed that peddled a conspiracy theory about him. It’s part of a settlement stemming from a lawsuit filed earlier this year

Kavanaugh Blames 1985 Bar Fight on Violent UB40 Lyrics - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Alaska Airlines might start giving out virtual reality headsets to first-class passengers. Meanwhile, if you're in coach, they just duct tape an in-flight magazine to your forehead. - Jimmy Fallon

Trump Attempting To Create Pre-Existing Conditions
The Trump administration is quietly moving to weaken U.S. radiation regulations, turning to scientific outliers who argue that a bit of radiation damage is actually good for you — like a little bit of sunlight.
The government’s current, decades-old guidance says that any exposure to harmful radiation is a cancer risk.

So Kavanaugh threw his beer in a person’s face. At least it wasn’t his penis this time. - Andy Borowitz

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Behold. A Tip Jar.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Harvard Students Speak Up About Kavanaugh

Undergraduate Council Demands Harvard Investigate Kavanaugh Allegations
Harvard's Undergraduate Council voted Sunday night to demand the University investigate allegations that Supreme Court nominee Brett M. Kavanaugh sexually assaulted several women before allowing the judge to return to campus to lecture at the Law School this winter.

It's October! Or as Brett Kavanaugh likes to call it, Octobeer. - Anonymous White House Official tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump and Kanye have a lot in common, actually. Both believe they are far more gifted than they actually are. Both are known to deliver rambling, nonsensical speeches. And both profess to love someone named Kim. - George Takei

Trump Had A "I'm Rubber, You're Glue, Whatever Bounces Off Me Sticks To You" Moment
President Donald Trump made a bold accusation against an unnamed Democratic Party senator while defending Judge Brett Kavanaugh during a Monday press conference in the White House Rose garden..."One, who is on the other side, who’s pretty aggressive — I have seen that person in very bad situations,” Trump alleged.
“I have seen that person in very, very bad situations. Somewhat compromising,” he continued.

Newly Sober Kavanaugh Introduces Sponsor Who Says He Needs Supreme Court Seat As Part Of Recovery - The Onion

Trump Had One Of His "I Know You Are But What Am I" Moments
Trump: [to female reporter] She's shocked that I picked her. She's like in a state of shock.
Reporter: I'm not. Thank you, Mr. President.
Trump: That's OK. I know you're not thinking. You never do.
Reporter: Excuse me?

Nation Urged To Be Extra Sensitive To Men Reliving Trauma Of Not Getting Something - The Onion

Republican Shenanigans

Misogynists still saying that a woman POTUS would be insane 5 days a month.
I literally dream of a POTUS whose only insane 5 days a month. - John Fugelsang

Meanwhile, Migrant Children Are Being Herded Into Tent City To Continue Emotional Abuse
More than 1,600 migrant children in U.S. custody have quietly been relocated in recent weeks from private foster homes and shelters to a tent city.

Perjury is a liberal construct created to keep Brett Kavanaugh from ascending to his whiteful...excuse me, rightful...place on the U.S. Supreme Court. - Rex Huppke

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Ginsburg: No Way I’m Sitting Next to That Drunk - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

If Kevin Spacey finds he is unable to get acting jobs, he should go to law school. The Supreme Court is always hiring — and they are, apparently, not nearly as persnickety as Hollywood about sexual assaulting. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

Boola Boofa! Boola Boofa! Boola Boofa!

Once A Mean Drunk, Always A Mean Drunk. I Feel Sorry For His Family.
An NC State professor and former classmate of Brett Kavanaugh has made national news after releasing a statement regarding the validity of the U.S. Supreme Court nominee’s testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee last Thursday...“For the fact is, at Yale, and I can speak to no other times, Brett was a frequent drinker, and a heavy drinker,” the statement reads. “I know, because, especially in our first two years of college, I often drank with him. On many occasions I heard Brett slur his words and saw him staggering from alcohol consumption, not all of which was beer. When Brett got drunk, he was often belligerent and aggressive.”

As Brett Kavanaugh's college freshman roommate, I was never contacted by the FBI for any of their background checks. I assume college behavior was not a topic of interest. They did not find Debbie's story because they were not looking for it.. - Jaime Roche

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"Hello, you have reached FBI's Kavanaugh Investigation Tip Line. Please listen carefully to our menu options. Press 1 to go f*ck yourself. Press 2 to hear these menu options again." - Jeff Tiedrich

Business/Tech News