New York Wishes Trump A Happy Birthday

🎂🍔New York attorney general sues Trump Foundation

Comey `Insubordinate' in Clinton Probe, Inspector General Finds

NOTICE:
The power was off most of this morning, so I have just a couple of memes instead of my normal edition. Deep apologies for any humor inconveniences. Barring any further interruption, I will post a new edition tomorrow.


Since the power was off I called a taxi and went to a nearby fruit market this morning. Below is a photo with me holding a pipas fria (cold pipes) which is ice cold coconut milk fresh out of the green coconut. The cashier took a small machete and hacked the end of the coconut off and stuck a straw in it.

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Pura vida.

Trump's lawyer may have flipped

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen likely to cooperate with federal prosecutors
As attorneys for Michael Cohen rush to meet Judge Kimba Wood’s Friday deadline to complete a privilege review of over 3.7 million documents seized in the April 9 raids of Cohen’s New York properties and law office, a source representing this matter has disclosed to ABC News that the law firm handling the case for Cohen is not expected to represent him going forward.

Robert Mueller: "And this, Donald Trump, is how you make a deal that gets you something." - Mrs. Betty Bowers

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Trump Says He Got Korea Idea from Putin
• Trump calls the media ‘our country’s biggest enemy’ 
• Trump declares there is 'no longer a nuclear threat from North Korea'
• Iran says will begin uranium enrichment at Fordow if nuclear deal unravels
• Two Norwegian lawmakers nominate Trump for Nobel Peace Prize
• Protests, calls for attention in Costa Rica as Nicaragua crisis worsens
• US disaster-response force stretched thin as hurricane season starts

Reminder: We got Iran to remove  97 percent of its stockpile of enriched uranium without having to record an infomercial for the regime. - LOLGOP

Trump To House Migrant Children In Tents. TENTS! In Texas!
The Trump administration is looking to build tent cities at military posts around Texas to shelter the increasing number of unaccompanied migrant children being held in detention

UPDATE: 38 senators now support our legislation to prevent children being taken from their parents at the border. We’re building momentum to end this horrific practice. Please ask your senators to support us! - Sen. Diane Feinstein

I’m not sure it’s possible to capture an entire era in one image, but Dennis Rodman running a cryptocurrency grift on live TV from the North Korea summit while wearing a MAGA is a serious nominee. - Benjy Sarlin

Trump's Tariffs On The Press
A single tariff benefiting one paper factory in Washington state could prompt the loss of thousands of U.S. newspaper jobs, industry executives say...The result? An equity firm won punishing newsprint tariffs that have pushed up newsprint prices by about 30 percent. Already newspapers around the U.S. have begun making thousands of layoffs, according to the News Media Alliance, a trade group.


Republican Shenanigans

• ‘We are the party of Donald J. Trump’: Republican who beat Mark Sanford proclaims a new era of the GOP
• Republican Rep. Steve King Promotes Well-Known Neo-Nazi On Twitter 
• Pro-gun, anti-LGBTQ Rubio refuses to call Pulse nightclub shooting a ‘shooting’ 
• Thousands of US asylum claims in doubt after Jeff Sessions' decision
• Mueller releases new evidence that Manafort ran unregistered lobbying campaign for Ukraine
• Dennis Rodman gets personal thank you from Sarah Sanders for 'positive things' he said about Trump
• Pruitt had aide, GOP donors help wife find job: report
• North Carolina Republicans want to let police view patients' medical records with no warrant
• Poll shows Mueller's public image at all-time low

Michael Cohen, now with no legal representation, will cooperate with federal prosecutors in New York. He's obligated to report any illegal activity by his clients.This is damaging to Trump, but don't leave out his other client - Sean Hannity. - Nick Jack Pappas

Mueller Says Russians Are Still Meddling. PAGING CONGRESS! HELP! Anyone There?
Special counsel Robert Mueller said in a court filing that election meddling operations like those conducted by Russia during the 2016 presidential election are still occurring

Some analysts believe Kim Jong Un can actually speak fluent English. Others believe the same thing about Donald Trump. - Stephen Colbert

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Trump Agrees to Let Kim Jong Un Have Pence as Manservant - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• American Medical Association endorses gun control
• Warren: GOP tax bill is 'evidence of corruption in Congress'
• An initiative that seeks to split California into three states is projected to qualify for the state's November ballot

Still Fighting The Colombian Cocaine
Costa Rican authorities seized 406 kilos of cocaine that were hidden in a container in a vessel that originated in the Colombian port of Turbo, authorities reported Sunday.
The shipment was found in during an inspection by anti-narcotics agents. The vessel arrived on Friday bearing a “Nederland Reefer” Bahamas flag, according to a news released from the Public Security Ministry.

When asked by reporters how he will know if North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is serious about a peace treaty, President Trump said he will use his "touch" and "feel." This may not be a great plan. The last time Trump used his touch and feel method, he had to pay Stormy Daniels $130,000. - James Corden

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In Singapore Trump displayed the dealmaking wizardry that drove him into bankruptcy six times. - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

• Alan Greenspan: The notion that foreigners are ripping us off is 'nonsense'
• Inflation rises at fastest pace in six years
• Senate will not 'poke the bear' Trump by passing tariff measure
• Trump could slap China with tariffs as soon as Friday
• Germany fines Volkswagen $1.2 billion over diesel scandal

Puerto Ricans Hoping This Year's Hurricane Season Will Blow Some Infrastructure Back In Place - The Onion

Trump Opens Office In Taiwan
In a move likely to increase tensions between the US and China, the United States opened a $256 million (€225 million) representative office in Taiwan's capital ...

Hard to believe that it used to take days, even weeks, to call someone you disagreed with “Hitler.” - Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Raccoon reaches top of Minnesota skyscraper
• Mother bear opens van, climbs in with her cubs
• New Hampshire distillery's bourbon flavored with beaver secretions
• 'I'm being attacked!': Oakland jogger who trashed homeless camp jailed after return to scene, reports say
• Student says professor claims moon landing was faked
• Exhaust-ing ordeal: Woman gets head stuck in tailpipe

Time To Deflate Photo

Rejected photo: Marilyn Monroe at the beach with a guy at bum level.

Peace.

Kim and Trump meet

After summit, Trump announces halt to US-SKorea ‘war games’
President Donald Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un concluded an extraordinary nuclear summit Tuesday with the U.S. president pledging unspecified “security guarantees” to the North and Kim recommitting to the “complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula.”

If Obama had walked across a stage to shake Kim Jong Un’s hand, there would have been so many tiki torches marching on Washington, they’d be visible from outer space. - The Hoarse Whisperer

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• CNN reporter: Pentagon says it will obey Trump’s Korea orders once ‘they figure out what he’s talking about’
• South Korea Blindsided By Trump War Games Agreement
• 'I do trust him': Trump opens up about Kim after historic summit
• Dennis Rodman Cries on Television After Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un Shake Hands
• Trump Told Mike Pence Not to Allow Any 'F***ing Crazy Talk' From His Advisers Ahead of Kim Jong Un Meeting
• Trump talks condos and nuclear physics in rambling North Korea news conference
• Rubio rants in defense of Trump — but makes him sound exactly like Kim Jong-un in epic slip up
• 'An Unprecedented Scandal': How Newspapers Around the World Reacted to Trump's Behavior at the G-7 Summit

If you‘re Kim Jong Un and your entire experience w America is Donald Trump & Dennis Rodman, would you give up your nukes? - Philippe Reines

Trump trusts brutal dictators over our closest allies. This won't end well.
President Donald Trump says Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “learned” from the mistake of criticizing him and it’s going to cost Canada “a lot of money.”

If you believe that Kim Jong-un will do what Trump says he will, I have a Wall to sell you that Mexico is going to pay for.- OhNoSheTwint

Republican Shenanigans

• Judge delays Manafort's first trial — again
• Paul Manafort to be arraigned Friday on new charges
• GOP leaders try to cut deals to stop DACA vote
• GOP scolds Trump team for feud with Canada
• Illinois Republicans buck Trump over Blagojevich
• Kellyanne Conway's husband defends Mueller probe, knocks Trump
• Trump’s Lawyers Are Reportedly Teaming Up With Other Mueller Probe Targets
• White House aide Steven Cheung leaves communications staff
• Huh? China stumped by Ivanka Trump's 'Chinese proverb'
• Reporters thought this video was North Korea propaganda. It came from the White House.

Fun fact: In 1971 Richard Nixon triggered a trade dispute with Canada. He called the Canadian PM an "asshole" and a "son of a bitch". The Canadian said "I have been called worse things by better men".

That Canadian PM was Justin Trudeau's dad. - Matt Bevan tweet

Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, in a tan suit, carrying his son Justin.

General Sessions Shows A Little Confederate Love
A move by Attorney General Jeff Sessions to make it more difficult for victims of domestic violence and other crimes to receive asylum in the U.S. could fuel a backlash that the Trump administration already faces over its immigration crackdown.

Jeff Sessions' move to deny asylum to women fleeing domestic violence does not reflect our country's true values. These strong, brave women come to America in search of safety and freedom. We should welcome them with compassion – not slam the door in their faces. - Elizabeth Warren

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President Trump says he got North Korea to commit to destroying a major missile testing site but "we didn't put it in the agreement because we didn't have time." - Ryan Struyk, CNN


Rock The Voter News

• Obama group announces midterms hit list
• Democrats aim to mobilize African-American base, win back white moderates
• Did Chelsea Clinton Tweet That 'Pizzagate Is Real'?
• Was Anthony Bourdain Killed by Clinton Operatives?

Trump's Lawyer Believes Arrest Is Imminent
Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s longtime attorney and so-called “fixer,” has reportedly acknowledged that he expects that he’ll get arrested in the very near future.

For those keeping track, approximately 57 days ago, I predicted that Mr. Cohen would be arrested and indicted within 90 days... I also stated it would pose a serious problem for Mr. Trump. - Michael Avenatti, Stormy Daniels' lawyer

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http://www.wattensawpress.com/

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Trump on Kim Jong-un, a murderous foreign dictator, after being given his word: I trust him. 

Trump on Barack Obama, a president of the United States, after being shown his birth certificate: I still don’t believe he was born in America.

- OhNoSheTwint


Business/Tech News

• Larry Kudlow, White House economic adviser, suffers heart attack
• Ivanka Trump made $3.9 million from D.C. hotel in 2017
• Senate will try to reverse ZTE deal via a must-pass defense bill
• MSNBC’s Ali Velshi blasts GOP congressman for lying about the economy: ‘You're making up facts'

Trump to Kim: "You've got great beaches...I said to him, you could have the greatest hotels in the world."
Sure, Kim got a free overnight stay at a Singapore resort, but he had to sit through a borin' sales presentation. - Tea Pain

Trump's War On Renewable Energy
 President Donald Trump’s tariff on imported solar panels has led U.S. renewable energy companies to cancel or freeze investments of more than $2.5 billion in large installation projects, along with thousands of jobs, the developers told Reuters.

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Odd News

• Man literally falls into police’s hands after eluding them
• Country Time offers to pay legal fees for kids' lemonade stands
• $1.5 million lottery ticket spent five weeks on the fridge
• Museum seeking world record for largest paper plane
• Alligator delays plane's landing with runway stroll

Time To Deflate Photo

A polished coral fossil from Indonesia. Are those daisies?

Peace.