All Hat No Cattle

Monday, June 11, 2018

Kim versus Trump

Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un to meet alone at Singapore summit
Facing a high-stakes challenge to get North Korea to give up nuclear weapons, President Donald Trump plans to speak alone with Kim Jong Un during their historic summit meeting, officials said Monday.
The one-on-one session, plus translators...

Trump: [hands Kim a giant f--king envelope] this is a map of my electoral victory
Kim:
Trump: biggest electoral victory ever
Kim:
Trump: how big was your electoral victory?
Kim: I fed my uncle to the dogs - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Putin has done more damage to the western world in a couple of years, using the internet, than Stalin, Khrushchev, and Brezhnev were able to in decades, with jets, ICBMs, and warships.

Ain't technology grand? - Timothy Thelen

My My My. The NRA, Putin & The Russian Orthodox Church.
Several prominent Russians, some in President Vladimir Putin’s inner circle or high in the Russian Orthodox Church, now have been identified as having contact with National Rifle Association officials during the 2016 U.S. election campaign, according to photographs and an NRA source.

Kremlin names Trump Employee of the Month. - Andy Borowitz

President Trump and Kim Jong Un reportedly have different ideas of the word “denuclearize.” It’s just like “Laurel vs. Yanni” except with the whole planet at risk. - Conan O'Brien

Republican Shenanigans

Trump tearing up papers that other people have to then piece together is a metaphor for his entire presidency. - OhNoSheTwint

I hope Macron and Trudeau spoke only french to each other when they were around Trump, and regularly dropped "Mueller" in their conversation. - Jason W Taylor tweet

Kim Jong Un Offers to Host Peace Talks Between United States and Canada. - Andy Borowitz

First MAGA. Now WAB?
A Senior White House Official Defines the Trump Doctrine: ‘We’re America, Bitch’
The president believes that the United States owes nothing to anyone—especially its allies.

So Trump's mouthpieces are saying he was stabbed in the backI suppose he was setting a better example when he stabbed the other G7 leaders in the front. - John Cleese

The people who always told us "Reagan won the Cold War" are now the ones trying to give the trophy back to Russia. - John Fugelsang

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The government failed Puerto Rico at every level in the wake of Hurricane Maria – including in getting an accurate death toll. Today, I introduced a bill to establish federal procedures for counting fatalities after natural disasters. This can’t ever happen again. - Kamala Harris

Rock The Voter News

Republicans stole a Supreme Court seat and now they're making it easier to steal elections
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday revived Ohio’s contentious policy of purging infrequent voters from its registration rolls, dealing a setback to voting rights proponents who said the practice has disenfranchised thousands of registered voters.

Like my father, Tony Bourdain was an emissary who brought America to the world. I hope they find each other out there somewhere. - Nancy Sinatra

What a difference a president makes

'Just tell us what Vladimir has on you' - Guy Verhofstaft, an EU Official tweeted about the above photo of petulant looking Trump

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Business/Tech News

What they say the Trump Doctrine is: "We're America, Bitch."What it actually is: "We're Russia's Bitch." - Nick Jack Pappas

Uh Oh. Trump Is Leaving The Summit Early.
President Trump reportedly moved up his departure time from Singapore after North Korean leader Kim Jong Un set the deadline for their historic summit.

Trudeau v Trump

"I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you're on it." – Johnny Depp

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Friday, June 8, 2018

Just when you thought the GOP couldn't get any crueler...

House Republicans eliminate funding for Children’s Health Insurance Program
House Republicans voted overwhelmingly to eliminate funding for the Children’s Health Insurance Program, or CHIP, after approving a White House budget plan.

I will never consider a pardon for Donald Trump. - TweetOfGod

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

OCTOBER 19, 2016: Hillary Clinton predicts that Trump will be Putin’s puppet.
JUNE 8, 2018: Puppet Trump refuses to enforce sanctions against Russia, sows discord with America's allies, and lobbies for Russia to be reinstated into the G-7. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

Trump Tries Sleight Of Hand
President Trump has called for Russia to be reinstated to the G7 group of leading industrial nations.
Russia was ousted from the then-G8 group in 2014, over Russian President Vladimir Putin's annexation of Crimea.

Only Trump would go to the G7 asking for a G8 and come back with a G6 - Sarah Cooper

Republican Shenanigans

Muhammad Ali's attorney responds to Trump saying he may pardon Ali, saying they appreciate the sentiment, but "The U.S Supreme Court overturned the conviction of Muhammad Ali in a unanimous decision in 1971. There is no conviction from which a pardon is needed.” - Ana Cabrera, CNN

Speaker Ryan is celebrating the fact he just cut $7 billion from children's health insurance. Just imagine how happy he will be if he manages to cut food stamps and starves them to death before they can use emergency rooms. - Wil Donnelly

Trump's Porn Appearances?
When Rudy Giuliani said Wednesday that Stormy Daniels has no credibility because she is is a porn star, he neglected to mention that his client, President Donald Trump, has appeared in three Playboy videos that feature nudity and softcore pornographic content.

President Trump says First Lady Melania Trump is doing well, but can’t come on the trip because she can’t fly for a month. Why? “She had a four hour procedure.” - Kaitlin Collins, CNN

Please unlock her up, Mr. Trump.

Hey Kim, Please Quit While You're Ahead
Kim Kardashian West said Thursday that her husband, rapper Kanye West, gave President Trump “legitimacy.”
Kardashian West met with Trump this week about prison reform and to lobby for him to issue a pardon, just weeks after her husband expressed his support for the president on Twitter. Kanye West's comments drew criticism from fans and fellow rappers.

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Reese Witherspoon has announced they're making "Legally Blonde 3." Please make it be about Elle Woods joining Mueller's team. - Stephen Colbert

Rock The Voter News

Anthony Bourdain Was One Of The Good Guys 💔
Anthony Bourdain, a gifted storyteller and writer who took CNN viewers around the world, has died. He was 61.
CNN confirmed Bourdain's death on Friday and said the cause of death was suicide.

Maybe we all wanted to hang out with him. He was that cool, fun, frank, insightful. He introduced us to distant lands and to people with different traditions. And without ever preaching, he reminded us that we humans are far more alike than different. Thank you Anthony Bourdain - Mia Farrow

Anthony Bourdain had one of the only shows on tv that tried with all its might to teach Americans not to be scared of other people. - Allison

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Business/Tech News

Stop attacking Scott Pruitt. He needs soft silky hands to point at which toxic chemicals he wants your children to drink. - Jess Dweck

"Preexisting Condition" Is Just Another Phrase For "Sick Person"
In its latest effort to undermine the Affordable Care Act — and in the process, raise premiums for many Americans — the Trump administration is urging a federal judge in Texas to throw out the law’s protections for people with preexisting conditions.

Payback Is A Beeotch
Rudy Giuliani‘s tasteless attacks on Stormy Daniels (Trump’s lawyer said he does not respect her because of her work as a porn star) have received a pretty widespread rebuke on cable news Thursday morning.
Megyn Kelly weighed in on her NBC show, and reminded Giuliani that his own client’s wife, Melania Trump — who Giuliani hailed as a model woman in his comments, unlike Daniels — is herself a model who has posed nude.

We will, I hope, be judged, eventually by seemingly small, random acts of kindness and sincerity. - Anthony Bourdain

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Thursday, June 7, 2018

Ivanka's New Collection

Ivanka Trump Was In Contact With A Russian Who Offered A Trump-Putin Meeting
Her contact, a Russian Olympic weightlifter, said a meeting between Trump and Putin could expedite a Trump tower in Moscow.

I am so sick and tired of these goombahs lying to us.

When I was a US Attorney I stopped selling hand-dyed yarn (my hobby) on Etsy to avoid the risk of a perception people could buy something from me to curry favor. Obama Administration ethics seem so quaint today. - Joyce Alene

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

All I’m saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we’re all French toast. - Scott Linnen

Trump’s getting us all used to the idea that he can pardon himself for his part in Russian interference in the election. The colossal balls on this guy! How can he even walk without clanking? - Bette Midler

Meanwhile Back In Putin's Russia
A steady stream of garbage-laden trucks moves the waste of Russia’s capital to landfills in the surrounding region. The resulting mountains of refuse emit noxious fumes and leach pollutants into nearby waters, endangering the residents of the region around Moscow.
Citizens living near these landfills have had enough.

“Delete your emails, acid-wash your emails and hard drives on the phones, take your phones and bash them with a hammer to little itsy-bitsy pieces, use BleachBit, remove SIM cards, then take the pieces and hand them over to Robert Mueller.." -Sean Hannity asking people to obstruct justice

Republican Shenanigans

DANG! This mornin' Mika Brzezinski reported that Donald Trump's biggest complaint is he can't watch porn in the White House.Maybe we should let him. Porn has much less of a detrimental effect on our society than Fox & Friends.- Tea Pain

Whaaat? Is Guiliani Trying To Sabotage The North Korea Summit?
Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani has boasted that Donald Trump had forced North Korea’s leader to beg to re-schedule a high-profile summit after the president abruptly called off the meeting.

Schools Cancel White House Tours Fearing That Trump Might Teach Kids History - Andy Borowitz

Is this some secret signal to Pence?

Let's Call It What It Is: ETHNIC CLEANSING
A swarm of immigration agents arrested more than 100 workers at an Ohio gardening and landscaping company Tuesday morning, one of the largest of several recent workplace raids carried out as part of the Trump administration’s crackdown on immigration enforcement.

We're All Gonna Die
President Trump on his preparation for upcoming summit with Kim Jong Un: "I think I'm very well prepared. I don’t think I have to prepare very much. It’s about attitude.”

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Congratulations to Alice Johnson and I'm guessing this means more pardons and commutations for African-Americans incarcerated for non-violent drug offenses who DON'T have celebrities with access to the president, right?

Hello? - John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

Gawd these people are stupid.

Another Stupid Lie
President Donald Trump on Wednesday suggested that many Texans had to be rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard during Hurricane Harvey last year because they were in boats watching the storm....Asked later to confirm if people were out on boats to ogle the storm, Gov. Greg Abbott told reporters he had “no information one way or another about that.”

Is worse to sell body for money or sell soul? Asking for friend. -Rogue Melania tweet

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