Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Trump Hump Day

US falls to 45th on press freedom index, Trump labeled 'media-bashing enthusiast'
Reporters Without Borders has dropped the United States to No. 45 in its annual ranking of press freedom for 180 countries around the world.
In the report released Wednesday, the United States received a "fairly good" rating, which falls below the category of "good" which only 9 percent of the world was rated.



This last weekend, Nazis marched in Newnan, Georgia. 
Nazis. 
Proud. Unashamed. Out in the open. Unafraid to show their faces. 
When Nazis aren't afraid to walk down the streets of America, and black Americans are, well you'd better wake up and hear the fucking alarm.- Stonekettle






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


According to James Comey's memos, over dinner President Trump vigorously denied that he spent a night in Moscow during the 2013 Miss Universe pageant. Which is weird because all Comey asked him was, "Can you pass the salt?”- Conan O'Brien


Stormy Daniels, James Comey Arrive At White House For State Dinner  - The Onion



U.S. Supreme Court Looks At Trump's Travel Ban Today
The U.S. Supreme Court will directly confront President Donald Trump’s travel ban for the first time with arguments being made Wednesday in a case that could redefine the president’s power to control the nation’s borders.




Senators and the American public deserve to know whether the nominee for CIA director was involved in the agency’s torture program. So far, CIA responses to our requests have been unacceptable. - Sen. Diane. Feinstein




Thank God  the Muslim/travel ban will protect us from all the white American disgruntled men carrying semi automatic weapons! - irishygirl tweet


Republican Shenanigans





Macron Offers Melania Asylum in France - Andy Borowitz





We Don't Have Nice Affordable Healthcare Because Republicans...
Kate Middleton’s “luxury” birth for her third child, a prince who is now fifth in line to the throne, was cheaper than the average delivery in the U.S.





"When the aging gorilla is confronted with the much more virile, new alpha male, he shows submissiveness by grooming the alpha male, but the gesture is actually a vain attempt by the old gorilla to humiliate his much younger rival." - Jane Goodall






I support keeping the US minimum wage at $7.25hr.
But only for the US Congress, because those guys seriously live off the tips. - John Fugelsang


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Over the weekend Trump tweeted about James Comey and Robert Mueller but he misspelled the words "counsel" and "shady." Trump doesn't know the red underline means spell check — he thinks it's his phone telling him that it loves that part of the tweet.- Jimmy Fallon


Rock The Voter News




Trump Suffering Horrible Indigestion After Eating Fresh, Well-Prepared State Dinner Meal - The Onion




Judge Says No To Ending DACA
A federal judge has ruled against the Trump administration's decision to end deportation protections for some young immigrants, saying the White House was "arbitrary and capricious" in moving to end the Obama-era DACA program.













Trump is gonna have to pay porn stars just to hold hands. - Michael Blackman



New York Times reporter writes more falsehoods about the Clintons. This time it was Chelsea. Chelsea's response:





I admire and appreciate the Clintons more and more each and every day.


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Business/Tech News

Mark Zuckerberg became a billionaire selling my data and all I got was this lousy President. - Janice




Good To Know The FTC Is Doing Its Job
LendingClub plunged as much as 17 percent on Wednesday after the Federal Trade Commission alleged that the online lender "deceived customers" on its fee structure.
LendingClub sold users on loans with "no hidden fees," but actually collected "hundreds or even thousands of dollars in hidden up-front fees from the loans," the agency said in a statement.


Oh look. The Trumps & Kardashians together. Apparently this is one of those episodes where 2 failing shows join forces to try & boost ratings. - Alt Fed Employee

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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Oh Joy! A portable entertainment system for celebrating Christmas in the 1950s. It must use wireless electricity as there are no cords!

Peace.


Tuesday, April 24, 2018

I'm so old I remember when Republicans called the French, cheese eating surrender monkeys


Trump blasts Iran deal as 'insane' and 'ridiculous' as Macron looks on
Macron's visit was viewed as critical to swaying Trump toward a compromise, rather than the all-or-nothing approach he has signaled on the Iran deal. Trump offered scant assurances to Macron that he was reconsidering his pledge to exit the Iran agreement. But he did signal a compromise may be near


Donald Trump is a weapon of mass delusion. - Jeff Tiedrich



SPY v SPY

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Trump Furious at Overrated Royal Baby for Getting World’s Attention- Andy Borowitz


The Trump Situation Room



Iran Throws Down The Gauntlet
Iran's foreign minister warned on Tuesday that Tehran is likely to abandon the multination nuclear deal if President Trump withdraws the U.S. from the agreement.






I simply want every woman in America to have the same health care options afforded to a Republican’s mistress.- Tina Dupuy


Republican Shenanigans






The Doc Who Thought Trump Is 6'4" & 239 Lbs Is A Drunk.
President Trump on Tuesday gave his embattled pick to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs cover if he wants to withdraw his nomination.
Trump repeatedly said the choice to withdraw was Navy Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson’s, but he also questioned why he would want to go forward and take the "abuse" from politicians.









The White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, reportedly drinks too much, which makes the A+ grade he gave Trump's health finally make sense. - Andy Borowitz




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Someone Boring for President 2020. - Jesse McLaren





Rock The Voter News

"Satire is meant to ridicule power. If you are laughing at people who are hurting, it is not satire, it is bullying." - Terry Pratchett




Meanwhile, Democrats Are Trying To Save The Census
Democratic lawmakers are calling for a subpoena to force the U.S. Census Bureau and Commerce Department to release internal documents about the decision to add a controversial citizenship question to forms for the upcoming national headcount.


"Democrats have to decide whether they love this country more than they hate this president.”

No Sarah Sanders...

The only thing Democrats have to decide is what to wear at the polls in November to turn this thing blue.- Tony Posnanski




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 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press

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Business/Tech News

Bezos’s offer drew a mixed response from Prime members, with some begging Amazon not to offer the pee tape to them. - Andy Borowitz






FDA: There's A War On E-Cigarettes
A U.S. government-led sting operation of retailers including 7-Eleven Inc. stores and Royal Dutch Shell Plc gas stations led to 40 warnings for selling Juul e-cigarettes to kids.









It's only a matter of time until a frightened Amazon Key customer shoots someone trying to deliver them a package, and then immediately gets hit by a driverless car—all on Mars... in virtual reality. -Keating Thomas



Yes, I have.


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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo
In 1921 eаrly suffragettes often donned a bathing suit and ate pizza in large groups to annoy men.

Peace.


Monday, April 23, 2018

Happy Monday

Russian lawyer who met with top Trump campaign officials says Mueller hasn't contacted her
The Russian lawyer who top Trump campaign officials were told had compromising information on Hillary Clinton ahead of a June 2016 meeting told the Associated Press on Sunday that she is surprised she has not been contacted by special counsel Robert Mueller


Mueller team said to be amused as Giuliani pledges to end Russia probe. - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

The Waffle House shooter wanted to meet Trump. The Parkland school shooter wrote a letter to Trump. The Quebec mosque shooter was obsessed with Trump’s Twitter. Trump himself said he could shoot someone and not lose any supporters. Trump is a one-man terrorist organization.- OhNoSheTwint




Trump Creates Russian Sanction Loopholes!
U.S. officials will consider easing sanctions on Rusal, an aluminum producer controlled by a businessman with ties to Russian President Vladimir Putin, the Treasury Department announced Monday.


Everyone is talking about Donald Trump's potentially epic summit with Kim Jong Un. It's the dispute of the ill-fitting suits! The men with nukes putting up their dukes! "In this corner, weighing in at 239 pounds, ha-ha, with the terrible haircut, a man-child who had everything handed to him by his father. And in the other corner: The exact same thing! Let’s get ready to bumble!”- Stephen Colbert







Is John Bolton Anti- Muslim? Yep.
 John Bolton, President Donald Trump’s new national security adviser, chaired a nonprofit that has promoted misleading and false anti-Muslim news, some of which was amplified by a Russian troll factory, an NBC News review found.









Republican Shenanigans

“Like most Americans, I had totally forgotten about Rudy Giuliani’s existence,” Mueller said.- Andy Borowitz





Flight Records Confirm Trump's Moscow Sleepover. Where's His Fixer?
President Donald Trump twice gave James Comey an alibi for why a salacious report about the 2013 Miss Universe pageant in Moscow couldn’t be true: He never even spent the night in Russia during that trip, Trump told the former FBI director, according to Comey’s memos about the conversations...Now, flight records obtained by Bloomberg provide to-the-minute details, from wheels down to departure.


Happy Confederate Memorial Day - I haven't seen this many people celebrating the side that actually lost since Trump's inaugural. - John Fugelsang





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 Click here to meet C.W.
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Sarah Sanders: "Democrats have to decide whether they love this country more than they hate this president.” 
Me: Nah. I can multitask. - The Hoarse Whisperer





Rock The Voter News





Add "make Melania smile" to the long list of things Obama can do that Trump can't. - Jeff Tiedrich


What A Smile Melania!
Donald Trump may have chosen not to attend Barbara Bush’s funeral on Saturday, but social media users still found a way to talk about him in his absence.
After the president’s wife Melania Trump was spotted smiling and sharing a laugh with Barack Obama before the service in Houston, it didn’t take long before social media users began to joke about how even though she was at a funeral, she appeared to be having a good time away from her husband.






Barbara Bush's funeral ends, and Melania Trump returns to her day job: waiting for Donald to die. - Jeff Tiedrich



If Trump Did Attend Barbara Bush's Funeral


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Obamas are half-way home from Bush funeral. They hear a thump in the back seat, pull over to find Melania hiding. “Can I stay with you?” - Jess McLaren





Business/Tech News





Poll: Most Americans Believe Hannity Will Somehow Appear In Pee Tape. - Andy Borowitz




Is Hannity Headed To A Calamity?
Fingers Crossed!
Fox News host who said Trump’s fixer ‘knows real estate’ has a portfolio that includes support from Department of Housing, a fact he did not mention when interviewing Ben Carson last year





Of course, it all started last week when two black men, Donte Robinson and Rashon Nelson, were in a Philadelphia Starbucks waiting for a friend. They didn't order anything immediately, so they were arrested and marched out in handcuffs. That is a grievous racial injustice. And if you witness anything like this, for the love of God, don't film it in portrait mode! Film it in landscape! You're missing all the racism on the sides. - Stephen Colbert




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

In a routine flyover in the Arctic ocean earlier this month, a NASA scientist photographed images of mysterious ice holes over the eastern Beaufort Sea. The holes appear to be the first of their kind ever captured on film, and researchers are struggling to understand what they are and how they got there.
My guess is they are the air vents for that ancient civilization that lives underground there. Amirite?
Is that an igloo village in the lower right?

Peace.