Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Oval Office

Judge Rejects Trump Request To Sift Through Cohen Documents First, May Use Mediator
A federal judge on Monday denied a request to allow the president and his longtime attorney Michael Cohen a first crack at viewing the documents seized from Cohen in FBI raids last week, before prosecutors can sift through the haul. But she also said she wasn’t ready yet to rule on who would eventually get to decide what materials might stay confidential.


Cohen has more attorneys than clients.


Comey: 'What Can I Say, I'm Just A Catty Bitch From New Jersey And I Live For Drama' - The Onion




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Nation shocked to hear of possible bias at Fox News - Andy Borowitz



Hannity Is Going To Need Lots Of Lawyers
Sean Hannity finds himself in a professionally problematic situation after he was outed in federal court as the mystery third client of President Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen — but he could potentially be in deeper trouble.





Best excerpt from the Comey book thus far: denying the allegations in the Steele dossier, Trump asked Comey, “Do I look like a guy who needs hookers?”

Ladies, over to you.- Andy Borowitz





Republican Shenanigans

A source close to the Bush family tells CBS News' Jenna Gibson that, while Mrs. Bush's COPD makes it difficult for her to breathe, she is alert and was having conversations last night. She was also having a bourbon.- Katie Watson






What was I thinking?
New Conservative Supreme Court Justice Sides With Liberals!
Justice Neil Gorsuch, President Trump's selection last year for the Supreme Court, cast the deciding vote in a decision released Tuesday that sided with an immigrant fighting his deportation.
Gorsuch ruled with the court's four liberal justices in favor of the immigrant, James Garcia Dimaya, who argued that his convictions on two burglary charges did not represent a violent crime.


It has come out today that President Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen also represents Fox News host Sean Hannity. Apparently, Cohen would pay women $130,000 to watch Hannity’s show.- Conan O'Brien








Failed Right Wing Nut Selling His Jet
As his media empire collapses, Glenn Beck listed his private jet for sale, according to the Daily Beast.
On the Federal Aviation Administration records, Beck is selling his 996 DC9-15 aircraft for an undisclosed price. The jet is registered under number N8860.










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The Trump presidency is now officially a Coen Brothers movie. - Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News





hey Sean Hannity I hate to be the one to tell you this, old bean, but if the email lady were president right now none of this would be coming to light so be careful what you wish for, homeslice- Jeff Tiedrich



Mueller ponders the clusterf**k he has to sort through.
Mueller Issues Statement On Fake News Through Conservative Newspaper. Hint, Hint?
Special counsel Robert Mueller’s office warned in a statement that many reports about his investigation of the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia are inaccurate.
The former FBI director has not commented directly on the widening probe, but his spokesman issued a rare public statement to the conservative Washington Times urging journalists to use caution when reporting on the investigation’s inner workings.





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Tonight Sean Hannity's going to expose Sean Hannity's connection to Hillary Clinton. - Jesse McLaren





Business/Tech News

United Airlines Updates Policy On Allowing Dogfights In Passenger Cabin - The Onion






TV Tariffs
Televisions will cost U.S. consumers millions more each year if President Trump slaps billions in proposed tariffs on China, a new study shows.







The peace of the free world are in hands you wouldn’t trust with your beer money. - David Frum





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I hope you had a good time today




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Wild, Wild Horses at the Outer Banks in North Carolina.

Peace.


Monday, April 16, 2018

If James Comey had done his job properly, he would still have it.

James Comey’s ABC Interview Has Furious FBI Insiders Lashing Out
The ex-director’s first TV interview finally broke the loyalty of one longtime FBI colleague, others reacted with disbelief as their former boss pontificated.


James Comey is acting like a petty jilted girlfriend instead of a professional former FBI Director. He's making the #FBI look petty. Am I the only one who sees this? Apparently not.


It's a real shame that James Comey is a year and a half late to this heroism party he's throwing for himself - Lauren Duca


Seen In San Diego


The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

John Bolton Ecstatic to Be at War After Only Four Days on the Job- Andy Borowitz





The Navy is calling for new weapons, so they can fight much more effectively against Russia. The No. 1 weapon they’re asking for is "a different president."- Conan O'Brien




A Message From Putin To Trump?
A Russian investigative journalist who wrote about the deaths of mercenaries in Syria has died in hospital after falling from his fifth-floor flat.
Maxim Borodin was found badly injured by neighbours in Yekaterinburg and taken to hospital, where he later died.









So, let me get this straight. We can drop bombs on people for “humanitarian” reasons but we can’t feed American citizens in still hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico? - Will Fischer





Goombahs-R-Us
Despite being the subject of a criminal investigation surrounding his business dealings, Michael Cohen appeared casual and composed while being photographed around New York this week.
On Friday, Cohen was seen spending time with a group of friends and smoking cigars.
Cohen was photographed outside the Loews Regency Hotel on Park Avenue in New York City on Friday.




Melania Says Comey’s Book Not as Mean as One She is Writing - Andy Borowitz




Republican Shenanigans

I’m sure after Donald Trump attacks James Comey a few more times he will have time to wish prayers for Barbara Bush. - Tony Posnanski





Today, in 1862, the Party of Lincoln freed the slaves.  Sadly, the Party of Trump has spent the past three years tryin' to lock 'em back up.  #EmancipationDay - Tea Pain




Republicans Begin Their Stampede
The Republican Party, in conjunction with the White House, has launched a full-throated attack against former FBI Director James Comey as he begins a tour for his new tell-all book.







President Trump was supposed to go to South America, but he canceled, and Mike Pence went instead. For South America, it was like ordering a Jägerbomb, then getting a Shirley temple.- Jimmy Fallon





Being President Is Soooo Profitable!
President Donald Trump’s U.S. businesses have received at least $15.1 million in revenue from political groups and federal agencies since 2015, according to a new report to be released Monday.
The money went to Trump’s airplanes, hotels, golf courses, even a bottled water company during the presidential campaign and the first 15 months of his presidency, according to a compilation of known records










Comey says Trump is a compulsive liar morally unfit to be POTUS.
Trump says Comey is a grandstanding showboat drunk on his own piety.

I say this is one of those occasions when both parties can be completely right. - John Fugelsang




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A former Playboy bunny just became the oldest lingerie model at 83 years old. When asked why she went back to work, she said, "My Trump hush money ran out." - Jimmy Fallon




Rock The Voter News

We are the change we seek.” - Barack Obama
“Do I look like a guy who needs hookers?” - Donald Trump
- Molly





I'll Take White Men Who Lie For $1,000, Alex.
Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) says that trillion-dollar deficits could not have been avoided by the GOP-controlled Congress, responding to critics within his party who say that leaders have behaved irresponsibly.




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In the end, Comey will always have to live with the fact that on Oct 28. 2016 he broke the world. - Erik Bransteen


Business/Tech News




Starbucks' Attempt To Make Amends?
The two black men arrested at a Philadelphia Starbucks last week have agreed to meet with Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson.
The timing of the meeting has not been set, according to a Starbucks spokesperson. The company said it hopes the meeting will occur this week while Johnson is in Philadelphia addressing the controversy over their arrests.


You have Trump, who says, “Fake news!” so many times a day it’s like he has totalitarian Tourett’s. 
—Bill Maher



Preth any button




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

The Mackenzie River in Canada seen from space.

Peace.


Friday, April 13, 2018

Happy Friday the 13th Trump! Don't walk under any ladders!

Trump blasts Comey as an 'untruthful slime ball' after book revelations
Trump's tweets come a day after excerpts from Comey's forthcoming tell-all paint a devastating picture of the president as a liar divorced from reality.


We’ve reached a point in the country where it being Friday the 13th is the LEAST of our concerns. - Brian Balthazar




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Sarah Huckabee Sanders called any speculation that Trump had ordered Comey’s book “absurd,” adding, “The President does not order reading material.” - Andy Borowitz






REVENGE SHALL BE MINE Sayeth The Trumpet
President Trump pardoned Scooter Libby, who was convicted in 2007 of obstructing justice, perjury and lying to the FBI.
Libby, chief of staff to then-Vice President Dick Cheney, was a central figure in the leaking of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity.
The special prosecutor in the Plame case, Patrick Fitzgerald, was appointed by then-Deputy Attorney General James Comey, whom Trump fired last year as FBI director.





Trump’s connection at the National Enquirer is a guy named David J. Pecker?
You really can’t make this stuff up. - John Dingell





Republican Shenanigans

Unprotected sex with porn stars.
20-second handshakes.
Forcefully kissing/grabbing women who are complete strangers.
Trump told Comey he was a “germaphobe” but his actions tell a VERY different story.
- Adam Best




*JAWS Theme*
President Donald Trump's personal attorney, Michael Cohen, is trying to prevent federal investigators from using materials the FBI seized in a search of his Manhattan office, apartment and hotel room this week.


I think we can all agree Michael Cohen is the worst “fixer” seeing all his buried skeletons keep resurfacing. - irishygirl tweet






Sorry/not sorry but I ain’t pinning a medal on Comey’s chest for penning a tell-all about the mess he helped make. - The Hoarse Whisperer


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Rock The Voter News

This would be a good time to remind the sane people that Caligula Kardashian's official reason for firing James Comey at the time was Comey's unfair treatment of Hillary Clinton. -John Fugelsang






Oh My. There Are Recordings?
Donald Trump's personal attorney often recorded telephone conversations both before and during the 2016 presidential campaign that likely have been scooped up in the FBI raid on attorney Michael Cohen's apartment, office and hotel room, according to sources familiar with the matter.








The National Enquirer paid $30,000 for a story about President Trump having a love child but then buried the story. The Enquirer said, "We did it to protect the child from finding out his father is Donald Trump." - Conan ='Brien






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Business/Tech News

Russian Hookers Who Peed on Trump Say They Still Have Not Been Paid - Andy Borowitz






Trump versus Amazon
President Trump stepped up his long-running battle with Amazon, ordering a federal task force to investigate the Postal Service's finances.
The executive order issued late Thursday night does not mention Amazon by name, but Amazon is the subtext.










Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, said that he had “absolutely no idea” how the ten thousand Comey books made their way to the White House, but advised Trump to follow the procedures on the Amazon website for returning unwanted merchandise.- Andy Borowitz






You can't have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright





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I hope you had a good time today.



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Birds of a feather really do flock together.

Peace.