Monday, March 26, 2018

Happy Monday. It's the President & the Porn Star Day!

Stormy Daniels accuses Trump attorney Michael Cohen of defamation in newly amended lawsuit
Adult film star Stephanie Clifford, whose stage name is Stormy Daniels, amended a lawsuit against Donald Trump to include allegations of defamation by his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen.


Coming of age: Trump's son is 12 years old and entering the age of puberty. You know he is watching all this porn star stuff.  I hope he's embarrassed and not impressed.




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

If you believe the biggest threat to our nation are the survivors of a school massacre, it’s time to question the validity of the political philosophy that brought you to that conclusion. - Tea Pain




I Love These Kids!
They were defiant, outraged and determined. And they had a resounding message for lawmakers in Washington: Enough gun violence.
Thousands of students, teachers and supporters gathered in the nation's capital Saturday for the March for Our Lives rally, organized by survivors of a shooting that left 17 people dead at a Florida high school.





Here's some of my favorite signs from the march













Wow. Trump Finally Punishes The Russians. Huh?
President Donald Trump will expel 60 Russian intelligence officers and order the Russian government to close its consulate in Seattle, the administration announced Monday morning, as a retaliatory measure for the nerve agent attack on a former spy living in the United Kingdom.




If you didn't understand why Betsy DeVos and conservatives want to destroy public schools, I'm sure you do now, after watching the Parkland kids speak. - LOLGOP




Stormy Daniels to CBSNews: "I really don't need sixty minutes to talk about something that didn't last one. - Mrs. Betty Bowers





Republican Shenanigans

President Trump is now being sued by a porn star, a reality star, and a Playboy model – or as Trump's evangelical supporters call that, "the holy trinity." - Conan O'Brien







Did Stormy Daniels Unleash Pandora's Box?
Stormy Daniels’ 60 Minutes turn was compelling television. But like other segments in that program’s storied history, it also portended deepening legal liability for its targets:  President Trump and his lawyer Michael Cohen. The revelations from the interview make the pair's already serious legal problems even more challenging.






CNN Needs To Can This Conservative
Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School student David Hogg and his sister Lauren called out former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), who said Sunday that more students should take personal responsibility and help during school shootings, instead of marching or attacking the National Rifle Association. Alternately, he suggested they learn CPR.


Rick Santorum clearly read the memo that being wrong and/or offensive on Cable News has become the swiftest path to a job in the White House. - John Fugelsang






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All 30 Major League baseball teams are extending netting to protect fans from baseballs. This in a country where almost anyone with a screw loose can buy a semi-auto weapon the likes of which the founding fathers never imagined. I sense a contradiction there. - Stephen King




Rock The Voter News

This girl who watched people die in front of her just got up on national TV to speak, puked half way through due to nerves, said "I just puked on national TV & it felt great!" then kept going.

I am literally never allowed to be too afraid to do anything ever again. - Bree






75-year-old Joe Biden wants to fight 71-year-old Donald Trump. The winner takes on Bob Newhart. - Conan O'Brien


Methinks Cambridge Analytics Is In Deep Sh*t
Former workers reportedly said Cambridge Analytica sent non-U.S. citizens to advise U.S. campaigns in 2014.
The Washington Post reported that dozens of non-U.S. citizens helped to give advice on strategy and messaging to GOP candidates....One former worker who spent months in the U.S. working on Republican campaigns told the Post that "we knew that everything was not above board, but we weren't too concerned about it."


Here's A Respite



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I hope President Trump knows what he’s doing with these tariffs. Just had two eggrolls at Panda Express and it cost me $611.00. - Conan O'Brien


Business/Tech News






For his next rocket ride he will become lasagna rain.
Flat Earther Rockets Himself 1875 Feet To See If The Earth Is Flat. Wouldn't It Be Easier To Take A Jet Flight At 30,000 Feet?
He finally went up — just like the self-taught rocket scientist always pledged he would.
He came back down in one piece, too — a little dinged up and his steam-powered vessel a little cracked up...."Mad" Mike Hughes, the rocket man who believes the Earth is flat, propelled himself about 1,875 feet into the air Saturday before a hard landing in the Mojave Desert.





A new trend has emerged where women are having diamonds pierced into their finger instead of wearing engagement rings. "The pain reminds me I'm alive," [photo of Melania] said one woman.- Seth Myers




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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo
The Butterfly Nebula. I wonder if Starman will drive by it in his Tesla.

Peace.


Friday, March 23, 2018

Stop the world I want to get off

On Thursday, Donald Trump replaced a man who built the case for war with North Korea as a last resort with a man who just made the case for war with North Korea as more of a first resort. Trump announced that National-Security Adviser H.R. McMaster will be succeeded by John Bolton, the George W. Bush-era United Nations ambassador who has advocated for U.S. military action to prevent Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khamenei, and most recently Kim Jong Un from amassing weapons of mass destruction.


Soon the government will be Fox News and Fox News will be the government and we will huddle for warmth beneath the trees we call our homes.
Happy Friday, everyone! - Rex Huppke



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Kim Jong Un Sets Meeting with Trump for April First - Andy Borowitz


Trump Won't Tweet About This!
The hacker Guccifer 2.0, who claimed responsibility for providing WikiLeaks with the stolen Democratic National Committee emails, has been identified as an officer of Russia’s main intelligence directorate, or GRU, according to a new report.





In Show of Loyalty, Bolton Offers Mustache to Cover Trump’s Bald Spot- Andy Borowitz


Republican Shenanigans





Data Mining With Duck Dynasty! Thanks Facebook!
Leaked document reveals how Cambridge Analytica used Duck Dynasty and Politico to sway Facebook users to Trump.A former employee shared a 27-page internal document produced by officials who worked most closely on President Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, and it serves as a blueprint for the strategy Cambridge Analytica used on a variety of social media platforms .





“Mueller said I was the most innocent person he’d ever come across, and maybe in history,” Trump said. - Andy Borowitz






Our Children Are Now Acting Like The Adults Should. I Love These Kids.
They can’t buy a beer or rent a car and most aren’t even old enough to vote, yet the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have spearheaded what could become one of the largest marches in history with nearly 1 million people expected in Washington and more than 800 sister marches from California to Japan.






A few kids from Florida have put together a march for millions of people across the world this weekend. 
My son left the house this morning with his shoes on the wrong feet. - Andy Lassner







We are the only civilized country that allows citizens easy access to military grade weapons. 
This is why we lead the world in mass shootings.
It isn't rocket science, it is common sense.


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Rock The Voter News



I hope every editor who had the opportunity to kill yet another Hillary's Emails story, and decided instead to print it, looks at themselves in the mirror tonight and understands the role they played in igniting John Bolton's wars. - Ian Millhiser



This is worth a repeat of the New York Times' assault on Hillary




Trump Wants A Line-Item Veto!
President Trump on Friday asked Congress to provide him with a line-item veto on spending bills, as he signed a $1.3 trillion omnibus spending package that includes provisions he doesn't like.





7 mos after Sandusky arrested for molesting 30 boys the NCAA fined Penn State 60 million & imposed massive penalties. It’s been 19 months since Nassar’s arrest for molesting 100’s of girls. NCAA has taken 0 action against Michigan State.  That’s misogyny and it’s wrong.- John Manly

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Business/Tech News

Trump Supporters Excited to Pay More for Chinese Goods at Walmart - Andy Borowitz






EU Nations to Take More Action Against Russia Over Spy
Several European Union countries say they may follow Britain in expelling Russian diplomats over the poisoning of a former spy, as EU chief Donald Tusk predicted member states would take more measures against Moscow starting next week.





She died as she lived: entering her 357th password guess into an online form. - Kashana




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

The Pillars of Creation. Photo: Hubble 1995. What an incredible universe that we live in. I hope you enjoy some of it this weekend.

Peace.



Thursday, March 22, 2018

John Dowd quits as Trump's lead lawyer in special counsel Mueller's Russia probe

John Dowd quits as Trump's lead lawyer in special counsel Mueller's Russia probe
John Dowd resigned Thursday as President Donald Trump's lead attorney in the special counsel Robert Mueller's probe into Russian meddling in the 2016 election.
"I love the president and wish him well," Dowd told NBC News.


Establishing relationships with friendly foreign leaders is important for Trump right now, because he needs to build a network of countries he can flee to when the time comes.- Jimmy Kimmel




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

When asked today if the Russian election was free and fair, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, quote, "We're focused on our elections. We don't get to dictate how other countries operate." "Ha, ha! Good one," said Iraq.- Seth Myers







Trolling, trolling, trolling down the river...
Democrat Calls For Hearing On Russian Twitter Trolls
U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin called for a hearing Wednesday as new cases emerged of Russian Twitter trolls using racially charged incidents to foment tension in Wisconsin and around the country.
The news events spread by fake Russian accounts on social media ranged from the 2015 police shooting of a Madison teenager to a case days before the 2016 presidential election in which a fan at a University of Wisconsin Badgers game came dressed as then President Barack Obama with a noose around his neck.






Speaking of Trump's lawyers, Trump has hired a new attorney for his defense team. Trump's newest legal counsel is a man named Joseph diGenova, who has frequently and vocally pushed the conspiracy theory that the FBI is plotting to frame the president. Now, I personally don't think any of that is true. But let's hope so!- James Corden





Republican Shenanigans

First daughter Ivanka visited Iowa yesterday, where she visited a science facility to promote the president's infrastructure proposal. Ivanka has been getting some heat for tweeting a picture of herself dressed like Science Barbie. Just like a real Barbie, she has no scientific credentials, and the space where her heart should be is a hollow plastic shell.- Stephen Colbert



"HEY KID, WANT TO BE MY LAWYER?" - Jeff Tiedrich



Longtime Fox contributor Ralph Peters has quit the network, calling it a "propaganda machine," according to a report in What the F*ck Took You So Long Magazine. - Andy Borowitz






No Government Shutdown! But A $1.3 Trillion Spending Spree!
The House easily passed a $1.3 trillion spending package on Thursday, sending legislation to the Senate that would prevent a shutdown and deliver the largest federal spending increase in years.
Lawmakers approved the bill in a 256-167 vote on Thursday, with majorities in each caucus backing the measure. Ninety Republicans and 77 Democrats voted against the bill.





A former Playboy Playmate named Karen McDougal says she had an affair with Trump and now she's suing him. You know things are crazy when you hear the president is being sued by a porn star and people go, "Which one?" - Jimmy Fallon





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Wow, when I read about Trump's plan to execute drug dealers today, I said to myself "Today he became the president." Of the Philippines. - Bill Maher






In less than 16 months we went from a President who embraced Joe Biden and threatened Russia to a man who embraces Russia and threatens Joe Biden...
Lord. - Tony Posnanski


Rock The Voter News





“When I announced yesterday that I’m running for gov, one of Cuomo’s top surrogates dismissed me as an “unqualified lesbian.” It’s true that I never received my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs, though in my defense there’s a lot of paperwork required.”  - Cynthia Nixon, fabulous actress turned candidate for governor of New York



The Obamas Send Letter Of Support To Parkland Students
Ahead of the March For Our Lives demonstration in Washington, D.C. on March 24, former president Barack Obama and former first lady Michelle Obama wrote a letter to the students who survived February's mass shooting in Parkland, Fla.






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China is pressuring Washington not to impose big tariffs on its steel. You can tell China’s playing hardball because today they said, “Remember – we have your new iPhones.”- Conan O'Brien




While I am in favor of Stormy Daniels appearing on 60 Minutes, I am deeply concerned about the human cost of millions of people hearing descriptions of Donald Trump having sex.- Andy Borowitz


Business/Tech News

Just tried deactivating my Facebook account and Putin sent me a DM with a sad face emoji. What the f*ck?! - Michael Blackman






Why Does Jared Still Work At The White House?
A New York City regulator is investigating 13 buildings controlled by a company formerly run by Jared Kushner, a top aide to U.S. President Donald Trump and his son-in-law, over possible "illegal activity" related to work permits, according to public filings.


Heterosexuals are the leading manufacturer of gay people, marriage is the leading cause of divorce & religion is the top creator of atheists. - John Fugelsang






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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Yoga is not just for humans.

Peace.