Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Son-in-law versus the Chief of Staff

Kushner loses access to top-secret intelligence
Presidential son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner has had his security clearance downgraded — a move that will prevent him from viewing many of the sensitive documents to which he once had unfettered access.


Let he among you who's never forgotten a $1mil+ loan or lied to get WH security clearance cast the 1st stone at Jared Kushner.
1 line please
- John Fugelsang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

BREAKING: Jared Kushner Loses Access to Ivanka - Andy Borowitz




Here's A Good Dick
Dick's Sporting Goods is banning sales of assault weapons across all its stores after the Parkland, Fla. school shooting.
The nation's largest sporting goods retailer announced the move Thursday in an open letter and an appearance by CEO Ed Stack on Good Morning America.


BREAKING: Dick's has balls. - Randi Mayem Singer




Florida Legislature Rubs Salt In Parkland's Wound
Facing anguished relatives and classmates of shooting victims, a panel of Florida legislators took the unprecedented step Tuesday of creating a new statewide program to put armed teachers in classrooms — over the vocal opposition of Parkland residents.


History will always remember the bravery of "limited government" conservatives who in the face of  a failing despot demanding prosecutions of his political opponents had the steely nerves to stand up to the teen survivors of a school shooting. - LOLGOP





Republican Shenanigans

Got pulled over by a Trump supporter cop and I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to say “thoughts and prayers” or “Merry Christmas”. Anyway, I’m on death row now. - OhNoSheTwint





Think about how absolutely terrified Republicans must be of these teenagers, that they’ve spent all of their energy over the last two weeks trying to smear child survivors of a mass shooting. - Jules Suzdaltsev




Let Me Guess, This Guy's A Trump Supporter
The father of a Florida shooting survivor acknowledged Tuesday he omitted words in an email he sent media outlets accusing CNN of using scripted remarks at a town hall on guns and school safety.












Trump is running for re-election. And he said he'll be sticking with Mike Pence as a cellmate – I mean, running mate. - Jimmy Fallon





Michelle Obama's upcoming memoir is entitled "Becoming." Not to be outdone, Melania Trump is going to release her own memoir this summer and it has a similar title. It's called "Becoming Single."- James Corden


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Comfort therapy dogs waiting to greet Stoneman Douglas survivors this morning for their first day back.


Rock The Voter News

Trump Has A Hard Time Making Black Friends
The Golden State Warriors are planning to go to the National Museum of African-American History and Culture during their time in Washington, D.C., this week after President Trump disinvited the NBA champions from the White House.
"The White House is a great honor, but there are other circumstances that we felt not comfortable going," all-star guard Klay Thompson told reporters Monday night


An MSNBC host said this morning that first lady Melania Trump and Ivanka Trump have been given "fake jobs" at the White House. But Melania says it's no problem for her because she's used to faking it.- Seth Myers





Former President Obama recently said at a private speech that people didn't hear about the drama in his White House. Like the time Joe Biden spilled Four Loko on the Constitution. - Seth Myers


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Business/Tech News

There's an opening for the top position of the Federal Aviation Administration right now – this is a job that oversees 47,000 employees and every flight in America. And, according to a report, President Trump is considering filling the position with the pilot who flies his private jet. Trump told people, "He's a smart guy and knows what's going on." Trump appoints federal positions the way your neighbor recommends a plumber. "I got a guy. Trust me, this dude's on the level."- James Corden





Either Manafort is stupid or stubborn -- maybe both.
Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman accused of laundering $30 million to support a lavish lifestyle, pleaded not guilty in his first court appearance since Special Counsel Robert Mueller unveiled two new indictments against him last week.









Thank you, Dick’s Sporting Goods. This is the first good news about dicks since the #MeToo movement started. - Chelsea Handler






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Thank you!


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Astonishing Columnar basalt from northwestern Czech Republic.

Peace.


Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Cyber Command chief: Trump has not given us permission to stop Russian attacks on 2018 elections

Cyber Command chief: Trump has not given us permission to stop Russian attacks on 2018 elections
Admiral Michael Rogers, director of the National Security Agency and commander of the U.S. Cyber Command, said on Tuesday that President Donald Trump had not given him the authority to fight back against Russian attacks on the 2018 U.S. election.


Isn't leaving the US vulnerable to hacking illegal? Asking for a friend.


This country doesn’t need Democrats or Republicans right now. It needs Americans. The foundation of democracy has been attacked by a foreign power. There’s a time & place for partisan considerations. Now is not one of them.  - Counterchekist





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I just went to this crazy 80s retro party where we ended up invading Grenada. - Conan O'Brien


Is This Extortion?
Delta’s decision to sever marketing ties with the National Rifle Association sparked outrage from Georgia conservatives, complicating the Atlanta-based airline’s push to restore a lucrative fuel tax break it lost years ago.
Several conservative groups and high-profile GOP candidates for higher office called on Republican legislators to ground the tax break after the airline said Saturday it would end a discount for NRA members







It's hard to believe Trump would charge into a high school for any reason other than scouting for a fourth wife. - LOLGOP






Republican Shenanigans

Running into a hail of bullets is the best idea Trump has ever had. - Edel Rodriguez


So, How Is A Red State Doing In The Education Department?
Thousands of striking schoolteachers who have shut down West Virginia classrooms for days are demanding a face-to-face meeting with the governor and legislative leaders on their pay grievances.







If kids are worried about getting suspended for protesting gun violence and ruining their college prospects I PROMISE YOU “Why I Was Suspended For Fighting the NRA” is a better college admission essay topic than “How Soccer Made Me a Team Player.” - Jennifer Wright







My My My. A Missing (Probably Dead) Link Between Trump & Russia
Joseph Mifsud, the Maltese academic suspected of being a link between the Trump campaign and Russian officials, was once a regular on the foreign policy circuit, attending conferences the world over.
Now, after being identified as a key figure in the US special counsel investigation into Russian influence over the 2016 US presidential election, Mifsud has gone to ground.
Last Thursday he disappeared from the private university in Rome where he teaches...





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Let’s furlough the Secret Service, get rid of the metal detectors in Congress, and then debate gun laws. - Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News




Hillary Warns About Upcoming Election
Hillary Clinton late Monday stressed a focus on social media platforms ahead of the midterm elections, saying Americans "owe it to our democracy to get this right, and fast."


Age in 1776: 
Marquis de Lafayette, 18
James Monroe, 18
Henry Lee III, 20
Aaron Burr, 20
Nathan Hale, 21
Alexander Hamilton, 21

Just a bunch of kids, right? What do they know? - Rachel R. Gonzalez





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Trump is like the most needy person on everyone's Facebook feed, the ones who keep posting photos of themselves, fishing for compliments. - Mrs. Betty Bowers


Business/Tech News




If the US was actually a Christian Nation then we'd vote to help the poor & let private charities bail out Wall Street. - John Fugelsang


The U.S. Supreme Court: No Bail For Immigrants
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that immigrants, even those with permanent legal status and asylum seekers, do not have the right to periodic bond hearings.
It's a profound loss for those immigrants appealing what are sometimes indefinite detentions by the government. Many are held for long periods of time — on average, 13 months — after being picked up for things as minor as joyriding. Some are held even longer.




Trump’s plan to save the environment is to arm the trees with pollution. - Conan O'Brien





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

I burst out laughing when I saw these catalog models from the 1970s. I lived through the 70s and I am so thankful I never saw any of these catalogs.

Peace.


Monday, February 26, 2018

The Parkland Express Continues...

Trump campaign emails photo of Parkland survivor, asks for donations
President Donald Trump's re-election campaign used a photo of a survivor of the Parkland, Florida, shooting in an email Saturday that asks its recipients to donate money to the campaign.


Trump said that the parade would honor not only him but all of America’s “last responders.”- Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I'm not sure if it's inappropriate to ask Ivanka Trump about her father's sexual misconduct, but it's definitely inappropriate for Ivanka Trump to be anywhere near our f-cking government. - Andy Borowitz



Republicans Say NO To Investigating Trump's Finances
Top Republicans on Capitol Hill have made a concerted decision in their Russia inquiries: They are staying away from digging into the finances of President Donald Trump and his family.
Six Republican leaders of key committees told CNN they see little reason to pursue those lines of inquiry or made no commitments to do so -- even as Democrats say determining whether there was a financial link between Trump, his family, his business and Russians is essential to understanding whether there was any collusion in the 2016 elections.






Stopping gun violence by putting guns in the classroom makes as much sense as stopping stupidity by putting an idiot in the White House.- Andy Borowitz





Republican Shenanigans

Ivanka Trump should change her name to Ayn Brand. - Sam Grittner



Trump's Bone Spurs Must Be Improving
President Donald Trump, who infamously avoiding serving in the Vietnam War by citing “bone spurs” in his medical examination, said on Monday that he would have personally intervened to stop Parkland shooter Nikolas Cruz.
“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Trump said during a meeting with the nation’s governors, according to Associated Press reporter Zeke Miller.







If you really believe that President Loudmouth McBonespurs would rush into an active shooter situation with nary a gun in his useless, withered hands, I've got five bankrupt casinos to sell you. - Jeff Tiedrich






We’ll end humanity with the weapons of genius and the triggers of stupidity. - Tina Dupuy


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Rock The Voter News

BREAKING: Embattled NRA Auctions Three Hundred Congresspersons on eBay. - Andy Borowitz








Meanwhile, Back In Panama
 Panama’s government is formally investigating a complaint that executives for President Donald Trump’s family hotel business are refusing to physically leave the 70-story luxury Trump hotel there amid a management dispute.








It looks like the aftermath of the Parkland massacre is turning into a pissing match between the Broward County Sheriff's Department, Coral Springs police and the paramedics while the state legislature ignores FL's sh-tty gun laws. -Ragnarok Lobster tweet


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Business/Tech News

“Maybe we”ll give ‘em a little bonus”. Trump tells teachers who “make $30,000 a year & have to pay for their own school supplies” to arm up. - Bette Midler






Trump's Personal Pilot Might Head FAA
President Donald Trump is pushing to have his longtime personal pilot, John Dunkin, to head the Federal Aviation Administration, according to a report from Axios.
Dunkin, who flew Trump's personal plane during the campaign, is reportedly on the short list for the top spot at the agency that oversees civil aviation in the United States. Dunkin has previously told people that he would often face delays while flying Trump around and that a pilot running the agency would prevent that.



BREAKING: Trump nominates doorman at Trump Plaza as secretary of both the interior and the exterior, because no one knows the difference between those two things like a doorman, I can tell you that. - Christopher Moore






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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Aerial view of the Blue Dragon River in Portugal. It really does look like a dragon.

Peace.