Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Putin is smiling


US releases list including names of Russian oligarchs but declines to implement new sanctions
The U.S. Treasury has released a list that includes the names of Russian business and political figures as part of a law meant to punish Moscow for election meddling, but the Trump administration declined to implement new sanctions.


Just to be clear: the country that hacked our election is being rewarded and the agencies that investigated those hacks are being investigated.- LOLGOP





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Whatever Russia has on all these bastards must be absolutely staggering. - Rex Huppke






Putin Is Sure Enjoying Himself
Russian President Vladimir Putin reportedly joked that his exclusion from a U.S. Treasury Department list of Russian oligarchs was “offensive.”
Putin added that the creation of the list is “indisputably an unfriendly act.”



According to the National Travel and Tourism Office, tourism is down in America since we elected President Trump. The U.S. tourism industry lost 40,000 jobs and $4.6 billion in revenue since the inauguration. I don’t know why people wouldn’t want to come here, we’re so welcoming to foreigners, starting right at the top. - Jimmy Kimmel




Republican Shenanigans

Andrew McCabe leaves job at FBI to take new one: Very cooperative witness. Well played, Republicans! - Mrs. Betty Bowers






Devin Nunes Must Hear Mueller's Footsteps
The Republican lawmaker who spearheaded the campaign to release a classified memo critical of the Justice Department and the FBI "cherry-picked" the document's contents without reading all the source material, a top Democrat charges.


You gotta keep coming back to: if Trump is innocent of all wrongdoing, as he claims, why trying so fucking hard to shut down any investigation? Yeah, I give up, too. - Randi Mayem Siber



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Seriously, Chris Christie was hounded out of office with an approval rating lower than that of lung cancer and he's rewarded with a TV gig. Contrast that with Hillary getting three million more votes than the fluorescent dayglow moron and being told to shut up and learn to knit. -Jeff Tiedrich



Rock The Voter News

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Proofreading State of the Union One Last Time to Remove Any Remaining Facts - Andy Borowitz






I Lost Faith In Bernie When He Voted Against The Russian Sanctions
Still feeling the Bern? Then you're in luck: Sen. Bernie Sanders will offer his own response to President Trump's State of the Union on Tuesday night.
The Vermont independent plans to make make his rebuttal over social media and already has ideas about what the president won't be talking about.


FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe is, and has been, a dedicated public servant who has served this country well. Bogus attacks on the FBI and DOJ to distract attention from a legitimate criminal inquiry does long term, unnecessary damage to these foundations of our government. - Eric Holder




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It was announced that the ‘90s sitcom “Murphy Brown” is coming back. Another revival — you also have “Roseanne” on ABC, “Will & Grace” on NBC, and “The Twilight Zone” on CNN.- Jimmy Fallon


Business/Tech News





For the first time ever, Trump indicated that he is open to a path to citizenship for Dreamers. Finally, a way for immigrants to become citizens without having to marry Donald Trump. - Stephen Colbert



Elon Musk Bored With SpaceX & Tesla, So Flamethrowers!
Elon Musk knows his audience. He just sold tens of thousands of hats emblazoned with the name of his Boring Co. tunnel business, then followed up by slapping his brand on something far less practical: flamethrowers.
The Los Angeles entrepreneur — who also leads SpaceX and Tesla Inc. and has a flair for showmanship — said Monday that his tunneling firm had pre-sold 10,000 Boring Co.-branded flamethrowers since Saturday, pulling in $5 million.




Hi guys. Going to be away from Twitter for a while. Just dealing with all of these Toys R Us closures in my own private way. - Conan O'Brien




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Libation Stimulation Donations Accepted


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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo
I guess he's not a bird of his feather to flock together.

Peace.


Monday, January 29, 2018

Welcome to MAGA CITY!

FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe stepping down
FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, who has been attacked by President Donald Trump, stepped down Monday, multiple sources familiar with the matter told NBC News.
McCabe will remain on the FBI payroll until he is eligible to retire with full benefits in mid-March, the sources said.


Imagine the FBI seizing the Trump golf courses, hotels, Trump Tower NYC and Mar-a-Lago under the RICO act.- Eric Elder



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump



Set aside for a moment that Trump is a narcissistic, bad-tempered, lazy, and unprepared president, and consider this: the State of the Union is about to be given by a sexual predator who lost the popular vote by almost 3 million votes. - Stephen King




White Power In Action
Supporters of President Donald Trump singled out dark-skinned lawmakers, legislative staffers and children at the Capitol on Jan. 25 as they protested congressional efforts to pass immigration reform, according to staffers of the Arizona Legislature and two Democratic legislators.


Blessed are the shithole countries, for they gave us the American Dream.- U2 at the Grammys, uncensored





Republican Shenanigans

Leave it to Devin Nunes to expose that one of Trump's own appointees -- a lifelong Republican, Federalist Society member, and former Ken Starr assistant -- found probable cause that a Trump campaign staffer was an agent of a foreign power. Well done, sir. - Matthew Miller





“Keep politics out of music” is a fun way to say, “I want to benefit from your experiences without having to consider the tragedy behind how you got them.” - Mike Drucker






When Tacky & Grade School Art Meet: She Wore A Fetus Dress To The Grammys
Singer Joy Villa, who last year made headlines by wearing a “Make America Great Again” dress to the Grammy Awards, arrived at this year’s event wearing an anti-abortion dress.
Villa wore a white dress with a depiction of a fetus surrounded by a rainbow, and carried a handbag that read “Choose Life."




Nixon on Watergate in State of the Union, 44 years ago tomorrow night:  "I believe the time has come to bring that investigation and the other investigations of this matter to an end.  One year of Watergate is enough!"





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Silence from Trump after last night’s Grammys. They must’ve taken him down with a horse tranquilizer and tossed his phone in the Potomac. - Rex Huppke




Rock The Voter News

Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Skip State of Union: 'I'm Not Going to Watch That Shit Show' - Andy Borowitz




This Is Why We Have A Crappy Train System
In the days before Amtrak 501 careened off the tracks last month in a deadly crash, engineers and conductors warned their supervisors that they did not feel adequately trained on the new route, according to more than a dozen sources.


Trump hasn’t tweeted about Hillary at the Grammys yet so whoever they have in charge of jangling a set of keys to distract him today is doing a great job. - OhNoSheTwint


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Business/Tech News






BREAKING: Stormy Daniels to Give Official Porn Response to State of the Union Address. - Andy Borowitz


I love chain gangs too!
Koch & Sessions Love Private Prisons
The general counsel of Koch Industries reportedly said Attorney General Jeff Sessions “is totally on board” with the Trump administration's plans to reform America's prison system.








Russian Sanctions Loophole
As the Trump administration slaps fresh sanctions on Russian energy companies, a cargo of Russian gas is set to power homes near Boston.
A tanker of liquefied natural gas from a Russian company on the Treasury Department’s sanctions list is scheduled to unload the fuel this weekend, making it the first shipment of gas from the country to ever reach the United States. 




In space, no one needs a bra. - Randi Mayem Singer






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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

The Prague astronomical clock, installed in 1410. It is the world's oldest astronomical clock still in operation.

Peace.


Friday, January 26, 2018

Museums are really interesting

Guggenheim museum reportedly offered the White House a golden toilet
When President Donald Trump's White House emailed the Guggenheim Museum in New York City in September and asked to borrow Vincent Van Gogh's 1888 painting "Landscape with Snow," the curator from the famed institution had a counteroffer: A fully functional 18-karat gold toilet.


Some big news about the Russian investigation. It came out that Robert Mueller wants to interview President Trump. It’s gonna be awkward when Trump tries to flee to Mexico and can’t climb over his own wall.- Jimmy Fallon





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

In honor of Trump, the Doomsday Clock now has little tiny hands. - Jeff Tiedrich







It's Gotten To The Point That Trump Should Just Deny Knowing Or Talking To Anyone In Washington D.C.
President Donald Trump denied on Friday that he had moved to fire special counsel Robert Mueller.
He had called for the firing last June, according to one person familiar with the matter. White House counsel Don McGahn refused to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller because he disagreed with the President's reasoning, the source said. However, according to the source, McGahn did not threaten to resign directly to the President.



April Ryan of CNN (June 2017): People in White House freaking out about Trump trying to fire Mueller!
New York Times (2018): Scoop! Trump tried to fire Mueller last June!
Maggie Haberman of NYT (2018): They're just really good at fooling reporters
Uh, not all reporters, Maggie - The Hoarse Whisperer tweet






Republican Shenanigans

Donald Trump is his very own impeachment starter kit. - Andy Borowitz



Yadda yadda yadda
Trump Doesn't Do Well Under Questioning
Speaking from experience, I think the president's attorneys should grab their worry beads. Trump sued me for libel in 2006 for a biography I wrote, "TrumpNation," alleging that the book misrepresented his business record and understated his wealth. Trump lost the suit in 2011, but during the litigation my lawyers deposed him under oath for two days in 2007. We had the opportunity to ask Trump about his business and banking practices, his taxes, his personal finances and his professional relationships.






Melania Says She Has No Plans to Visit Trump in Prison  - Andy Borowitz




Sexy time boys

This Dude Is Also Finance Chair of the Republican National Committee
Wynn Resorts employees and others described a CEO who sexualized his workplace and pressured workers to perform sex acts. Steve Wynn responded: ‘The idea that I ever assaulted any woman is preposterous.’







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Hey future male presidential candidates: now you all can  molest 17 women, pay porn stars for sex (all while married ) and STILL get 71% of the Evangelical vote....- Brasilmagic


Rock The Voter News


Yesterday was their wedding anniversary.
Melania Is At Mar-a-Lago. Will Trump Join Her?
First Lady Melania Trump has apparently taken an unscheduled trip to Mar-a-Lago while President Donald Trump is in Davos, Switzerland at the World Economic Summit, said The Daily Beast on Friday.
Mrs. Trump was originally scheduled to join the president in Davos, she has canceled her trip due to what a spokeswoman called “scheduling and logistical issues.”



Donald Trump quoting the Bible is like hearing a Leonard Cohen cover album by Insane Clown Posse. - John Fugelsang





Since Russia interfered in our election and nothing has been done about it, should the DEMS hire Chinese bots to help them in 2020? Fairness my friends... - Brasilmagic


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Business/Tech News



Trump plans to tell the world that America is open for business. And who better to make that declaration than a man who declared bankruptcy six different times. - Jimmy Kimmel



Opioids Overwhelming USPS
Facing an embarrassing Senate report, postal and other government officials maintained Thursday they have stepped up mail detection to find illegal and deadly drugs sent from abroad.
But they also acknowledged holes in their multi-agency, layered detection systems that allow opioids to get through.



Heart & Eye Candy



Press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said yesterday that the White House wants to see the Russia investigation “come to a complete and full conclusion.” “Uh, no you don’t…” replied Robert Mueller. - Seth Myers





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Close-up of Lincoln Head at Mount Rushmore under construction, South Dakota, 1937. Those eyes.

Peace.