All Hat No Cattle

Friday, November 17, 2017

The Flag Fondler

Trump attacks Senator Al Franken after grope allegation
US President Donald Trump has joined the criticism of Democratic Senator Al Franken after he admitted to groping a sleeping woman during a comedy tour.
On Twitter Mr Trump called him "Al Frankenstien" - a misspelled reference to the undead monster - and mocked his previous advocacy for women's' rights.

Trump on Franken: Pot discusses sins of the kettle. - Stephen King

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

If you want to turn away Syrian Refugees because you're Christian and they're Muslim, just know that you got the 'they're Muslim' part right. - John Fugelsang

Guess What? More Trump/Russia Ties. This Time, Russian Mafia!
Investors and customers of the Trump Ocean Club International Hotel and Tower in Panama City carried deep ties to organized crime and drug trafficking, according to an NBC News and Reuters joint investigation.

I read that the FBI is now investigating Russian embassy payments. And get this — there was one memo that was actually labeled "to finance election campaign of 2016." Even people who use the word “password” as their password were like, “Seriously?” - Jimmy Fallon

But it wouldn't be prudent...

8th Woman Says Former President Bush Groped Her
An eighth woman has come forward with claims that former US president George HW Bush groped her.
An interpreter, whom the BBC has agreed not to name because of the sensitive nature of her job, claims Mr Bush touched her inappropriately in 2004

The president hasn't weighed in on the biggest story of the week, Roy Moore. Donald Trump's in a real bind. On one hand, he doesn't want to support an accused pedophile for Senate. His other hand is grabbing a woman by the — you know what I'm saying. - Jimmy Kimmel

Republican Shenanigans

Q: What's the difference between Donald Trump and Roy Moore?
A: Trump admitted his sexual assault. - Tea Pain

Meanwhile, Back At Bob Mueller's Office
Special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigators have issued a subpoena to President Trump’s election campaign for documents related to Russia...Mueller’s team issued the subpoena in mid-October, requesting documents and emails from over a dozen top campaign officials that include several keywords related to Russia.

Republicans are reportedly hoping that President Trump will pressure Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore to drop out of the race. And Roy Moore still might not drop out, but at least he’ll know what it’s like to be pressured by an older man. - Seth Myers

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Look, if we forced every sexual predator to resign we’d have no government. Which would be an enormous improvement over what we have now.- Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Al? Franken??! Men have dropped their balls! Step outta the way and let women show you how you how to behave honorably! Vote for women!!- Bette Midler

I'm With Hillary. I Believe Trump Is An Illegitimate President
A year after her defeat by Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election, Hillary Clinton says “there are lots of questions about its legitimacy” due to Russian interference and widespread voter suppression efforts.

CORRECTION: This meme I posted yesterday is not true. Sorry for any humor inconvenience.

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Business/Tech News

It was cruel enough for them to take your health care to get back at Obama. Downright sinister to take your health care to fund tax cuts for billionaires.- Sen. Chris Murphy

Of Course The Keystone Pipeline Leaked And It Will Again
TransCanada Corp (TRP.TO) shut part of its Keystone oil pipeline system after a 5,000-barrel leak in South Dakota, the company said on Thursday, four days before neighboring Nebraska was set to decide on the company’s long-delayed Keystone XL pipeline.

If you think lifting the elephant trophy ban is bad, wait until 2018 when Trump legalizes sport-hunting humans. - Erik Bransteen

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Fall Fundraiser

Is Anyone Out There?

Thursday, November 16, 2017

They Shoot Elephants Don't They?

Trump administration reverses ban on import of elephant trophies
The Trump administration is reversing an Obama-era ban on hunters importing trophies of elephants killed in Zambia and Zimbabwe during government-approved big-game expeditions.

Killing an elephant for a trophy is the gruesome act of a wealthy savage.

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

FUN FACTS: It took 26 months to take down Nixon, but in just 6 months, Bob Mueller has 3 arrests, 1 plea deal and more pendin' indictments.- Tea Pain

What Swamp Does Trump Find These Nominees? Geez Louise.
Brett Talley, the Alabama lawyer Donald Trump has nominated to be a federal district judge, is a 36-year-old ghosthunter who has never tried a case and who failed to disclose to the Senate that he is married to the chief of staff to the White House counsel. He also seems to have written 16,381 posts—more than 3½ per day—on the University of Alabama fan message board TideFans.com.

At one point Jeff Sessions regained his memory and said that the Trump campaign couldn’t collude with the Russians because it was a “form of chaos, every day from day one.” I believe him. That’s such a great alibi. “That campaign was such a turbulent crap storm, there’s no way we could’ve planned anything like that. We were far too disorganized to be evil.” - James Corden

What Russia Ties? How About KGB Ties, In Writing.
The United States has awarded a contract to guard the U.S. embassy in Moscow to a company with KGB ties, The New York Times reports.
The State Department awarded the $2.8 million contract to Elite Security Holdings, a company co-founded by retired Russian general Viktor Budanov.

Republican Shenanigans

“If people believe Roy Moore’s five accusers, what happens to a man who has, say, about twenty accusers?” Donald J. Trump asked. - Andy Borowitz

Ivanka Says Roy Moore Headed For Hades
Ivanka Trump spoke out for the first time against embattled Alabama Senate Republican candidate Roy Moore, who has been accused of pursuing sexual relationships with teenagers when he was in his early thirties. Her father, President Donald Trump, meanwhile, has largely stayed mum on the issue.

Roy Moore has now been thrown out of 3 courts. The Alabama Supreme Court in 2003. The Alabama Supreme Court in 2016. And the Gadsden Mall Food Court in 1980. - Joyce Alene

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The whole Trump family looks like department store mannequins, except our beloved quarter pounder in chief.

Rock The Voter News

Even though it's narrow in focus, the bipartisan gun control bill moving through the Senate is a good start and a sensible, fair compromise.
Which means there's no way in hell it'll ever fucking pass. - Erik Bransteen

Hillary And Uranium One Allegations
Hillary Clinton responded on Wednesday to news that the Trump administration is considering appointing a special counsel to investigate her alleged ties to the Uranium One deal, calling the move “a disastrous step into politicizing the Justice Department” and “such an abuse of power.”

This Is The Type Of Garbage Voters See In Every Grocery Line In The USA. Real Fake News.

Not Al Franken! Yes, Al Franken. F**K! Shame On You!
Sen. Al Franken apologizes after woman alleges he groped her. Leeann Tweeden, a radio anchor for Los Angeles’ KABC, wrote Thursday that Franken's misconduct came while they toured the Middle East to entertain military personnel in 2006. After they returned from the trip, she discovered a picture of the senator groping her as she slept.

If Al Franken were to resign—and Tweeden's accusations seem highly credible— Minnesota Gov. Dayton (D) would appoint an interim replacement.
Then there'd be a special election as part of next's November midterms to fill out the remainder of Franken's term, which ends in 2020. - Nate Silver, Pollster

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Imagine taking more than $300 billion from older and sicker people who need health insurance, and giving that $300 billion to big corporations and wealthy people as a tax cut. That's the GOP plan. - Robert Reich

Business/Tech News

Twitter Unverifies White Nationalists, Except For Trump
Richard Spencer and other prominent white nationalists have lost their official verifications on Twitter — meaning the blue check marks next to their names are gone.

This year, instead of pardoning a turkey, Trump is going to round up every turkey Obama ever pardoned and kill them on live TV. - OhNoSheTwitnt

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Happy Wednesday

Christopher Steele believes his dossier on Trump-Russia is 70-90% accurate
The respected ex-MI6 officer told Guardian journalist and author Luke Harding that his FBI contacts greeted his intelligence report with ‘shock and horror’

Blake Shelton is the sexiest man alive
McDonald's is our top restaurant
A reality TV performer is our president
the aliens will never come down & give us warp drive. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Apparently Alabama men have a hard time remembering hanging out with Russians or 14-year-old girls.- Andy Borowitz

The Torture Continues
The Senate on Tuesday narrowly confirmed Steven Bradbury to join the Department of Transportation, with two Republicans voting with Democrats in opposition over Bradbury's authorship of so-called torture memos during the George W. Bush administration.

Murderous dictator Duterte serenaded Trump with a Filipino love song.
Vlad, somebody’s tryin' to steal your man! - Bette Midler

Republican Shenanigans

If Shepherd Smith gets fired, I think he'll be the first male Fox News employee not terminated for sexual harassment. - Erik Bransteen

Follow me, little Trumpkins.

Follow the Digital Breadcrumbs Left By Russia
On Aug. 3 of last year, just as the US presidential election was entering its final, heated phase, the Russian foreign ministry sent nearly $30,000 to its embassy in Washington. The wire transfer, which came from a Kremlin-backed Russian bank, landed in one of the embassy’s Citibank accounts and contained a remarkable memo line: “to finance election campaign of 2016.”
That wire transfer is one of more than 60 now being scrutinized by the FBI and other federal agencies investigating Russian involvement in the US election. The transactions, which moved through Citibank accounts and totaled more than $380,000...

Roy Moore’s wife says he is a ‘Godly’ man… he just has to learn to keep his psalms off high school girls. - Chelsea Handler

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Rock The Voter News

Jeff Sessions testified again as part of the Russia investigation. And at one point, he was questioned about his stance on marijuana. You know, cuz it’s a little odd when a guy’s anti-weed, but seems to “forget” every conversation he’s ever had.- Jimmy Fallon

Motherpucker

Judge Rules Sessions Can't Extort Sanctuary Cities
A federal judge in Philadelphia ruled Wednesday against the Trump administration's policy of withholding law enforcement grants from so-called "sanctuary cities,"...At issue is Attorney General Jeff Sessions' stated policy of withholding any federal law enforcement aid to sanctuary cities.

Jeff Sessions testified about the Trump campaign and Russia providing some much-needed details about things he remembers nothing about. - Stephen Colbert

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Business/Tech News

Having to pay slightly higher taxes because you're so damn rich is pretty much a sign you've already won. - John Fugelsang

Denver Has Marijuana And Soon-To-Be Transportation Tubes! What A Combo!
Arrivo founder Brogan BamBrogan joined Colorado transportation officials in Denver Tuesday to announce a partnership to create a network of roadside tubes at the congested heart of the city that promises to whisk drivers and their cars to their destinations at speeds of up to 200 mph.

I'd bet Benjamin Franklin would have been really good on Twitter. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

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FALL FUNDRAISER

Friday, November 17, 2017

The Flag Fondler

Thursday, November 16, 2017

They Shoot Elephants Don't They?

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Happy Wednesday

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