Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Someone somewhere is going to retaliate against Trump poking our enemies

North Korea state media warns of nuclear strike if provoked
North Korean state media warned on Tuesday of a nuclear attack on the United States at any sign of American aggression as a U.S. Navy strike group steamed toward the western Pacific.



It is Passover and Sean Spicer, at the White House press briefing today said “You had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons...” Huh? Gas chambers don't count?
God help us all.



"Not even Hitler used chemical weapons" - Sean Spicer, who thinks Zyklon B was aromatherapy. - John Fugelsang









The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump



Eric Trump stands bravely ready to defend America against ISIS; should ISIS radicalize any elephants or giraffes he encounters on safari.- John Fugelsang







Trump Is Doing His Own Public Relations With His Relations
Donald Trump's decision to bomb Syria was influenced by his daughter, Ivanka, being "heartbroken and outraged" at the country's alleged chemical weapons attack, one of the president's sons told a British newspaper.





Hey Eric Trump if Ivanka gets upset about a crumbling public school system will your dad do something about that, too? - John Fugelsang





Republican Shenanigans


Eric Trump said the Syria strike was swayed by a "heartbroken" Ivanka. He also pouted that dad has never bombed a country for him. - Nick Jack Pappas





Karma Komeback
Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) had his own words turned against him at a town hall meeting, when constituents began shouting "you lie" in response to his comments about healthcare reform, according to a local television station.
The South Carolina Republican, who made headlines in 2009 for shouting "you lie" at then-President Barack Obama during an address to a joint session of Congress, drew jeers and heckles at a town hall in his home district while discussing healthcare




Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from "Jersey Shore" is facing up to 15 years in prison on tax evasion charges. So basically, if you’re a reality star in this country and you don’t pay your taxes, we either put you in prison or make you President of the United States. - Conan O'Brien








Federal Jobs Remain Vacant Due To Chaos At The White House
Hundreds of key jobs across the federal government remain vacant as a result of an overworked White House personnel office that is frustrating Cabinet secretaries and hampering President Donald Trump’s ability to carry out his ambitious legislative agenda.





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No matter what distraction is thrown our way, we will not lose focus on the Russia investigation. - Rep. Adam Schiff



Rock The Voter News






Who won the Pulitzer for making people think Hillary's emails were more dangerous than electing a fascist? - Sean Kent





Trump "Temporarily Stops" Threatening Sanctuary Cities
The Trump administration will temporarily stop publication of a weekly report spotlighting cities and counties that fail to cooperate with federal immigration officials, people briefed on the change said, after several jurisdictions questioned the accuracy of the data.








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Biz/Tech News


A Turkish Airline crew helped deliver a baby onboard a flight. And then in keeping with the times, the baby was dragged from the plane by security. - Conan O'Brien





Bizarre: Russia May End Up Owning Citgo
In a crazy twist of international events, Russia's state-owned oil company Rosneft might end up owning Citgo, a US energy company based in Houston, Texas.
This isn't a direct takeover. Instead, it hinges on the ability of Venezuela's state-run oil company to pay back its Russian loan. The Venezuelan company owns Citgo, which was used as collateral for the loan.



A package of salad mix that was sold in a Florida Walmart was found to contain a dead bat. This is shocking news - someone shopping at Walmart bought a salad. - Conan O'Brien








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Odd News





Time To Deflate Photo

A mother gorilla cuddling her two twins. I wonder what she is thinking about. She looks so focused.

Peace.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Information Flow

Trump headed to Mar-a-Lago for Easter weekend
President Trump plans on returning to Mar-a-Lago, his luxury resort in Palm Beach, Fla., this coming Easter weekend.
“Yes, I’ll be here for Easter,” he said at his Trump International Golf Course in West Palm Beach, Fla., according to The Palm Beach Daily News.



No sane person needs to go to Florida every f***ing weekend. - Tommy Campbell






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


To the members of the media who have been captivated by the sights and sounds of cruise missiles exploding thousands of miles away: GROW F--KING UP.- Andy Borowitz








Trump's Team Is Not On The Same Path.
Foreign ministers of leading US allies were meeting Monday amid mixed signals from the Trump administration on the future of Syrian President President Bashar al-Assad.
















The man on the left gassed his own people. The man shaking his hand rocketed and bombed the hospital and rescue centre trying to save them.





My wife was really pissed at me but then I fired some cruise missiles at the apartment next door and she forgot what she was angry about.- Andy Borowitz






Republican Shenanigans





The White House should just come out and say; "This country cannot feed our veterans or elderly because Trump has 3 residences to protect." - David Yankovich


Trump Not Releasing White House Visitor Logs
A coalition of government watchdog groups plans to sue the Trump administration on Monday with the aim of compelling the White House to continue President Barack Obama’s practice of releasing logs of lobbyists and others who visit the complex.





Bannon Too Depressed to Take Monthly Shower. - Andy Borowitz


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The Alt-Righty nutballs might be right this time.  Obama may be goin' to jail soon...to visit his successor. - Tea Pain


Rock The Voter News


Ever notice that when you don't want to pay to educate poor kids you always end up paying to incarcerate poor dropouts? - John Fugelsang





The Public Service Announcement No Opioid Addict Saw 
A Florida sheriff stood among his deputies — clad in all-black tactical gear, masks and sunglasses — describing his plan to combat a devastating opioid epidemic.
In a new public service announcement released last week by Lake County Sheriff’s Office, Sheriff Peyton Grinnell took a stern approach in talking about the heroin problem in his community, telling dealers to “run.”

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Biz/Tech News


America's relationship with Russia is now being negotiated by the president of Exxon. - John Fugelsang




Bye Bye Great Barrier Reef
Mass bleaching events 12 months apart offers zero prospect of recovery for reefs that were damaged in 2016.






So many Trump associates stepping down. Unfortunately it’s never off a curb into traffic.- Bette Midler





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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

Namibia — Where the Desert Meets the Sea.

Peace.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Russia Russia Russia

Kushner Omitted Meeting With Russians on Security Clearance Forms
When Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, sought the top-secret security clearance that would give him access to some of the nation’s most closely guarded secrets, he was required to disclose all encounters with foreign government officials over the last seven years.
But Mr. Kushner did not mention dozens of contacts with foreign leaders or officials in recent months.



Cruise missiles are specially designed to distract the media with pinpoint accuracy. - Andy Borowitz







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


Rex Tillerson's condemnation of the chemical weapons attack in Syria would be so much more compelling if his comments last week hadn't given Assad permission to carry out the attack in the first place. - Andy Borowitz





Sham Strike By Trump
Syrian military officials appeared to anticipate Thursday's night raid on Syria's Shayrat airbase, evacuating personnel and moving equipment ahead of the strike, according to an eyewitness to the strike.
Dozens of Tomahawk missiles struck the airbase near Homs damaging runways, towers and traffic control buildings, a local resident and human rights activist living near the airbase told ABC News via an interpreter.










The story tonite isn't the Syria bombing (that's a distraction), it's why Trump told Putin first, but not Congress or State Dept.
RUSSIA!!! - Amy Siskind




CIA & FBI Never Leaked Russian Interference Prior To The Election. Why The Hell Not?
The C.I.A. told senior lawmakers in classified briefings last summer that it had information indicating that Russia was working to help elect Donald J. Trump president, a finding that did not emerge publicly until after Mr. Trump’s victory months later, former government officials say.



Elevated Levels of Crack Found in Trump's Bloodstream. - Andy Borowitz






Republican Shenanigans



Trump Decides Not To Sue Twitter
Twitter on Friday dropped a lawsuit it filed the previous day against the U.S. government, saying the government had withdrawn a summons for records about who was behind an account critical of President Donald Trump.







Two years ago, the man who just ordered a missile strike was deciding whether or not to fire Gilbert Gottfried from a game show. - Andrew Lawrence

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I am in favor of regime change in Syria, Russia, North Korea, and the United States.- Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News






"You cannot in one breath speak of protecting Syrian babies and in the next close America's doors to them." -Hillary Clinton




BREAKING: Trump Failed To Blow Up Syrian Air Base
Syrian warplanes took off from an air base which was hit by US cruise missiles on Friday, and carried out air strikes on rebel-held areas in the ...









Obviously something horrible is about to come out about Steve Bannon but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD let it not be a sex tape. - - Andy Borowitz





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Trump has made 367 false claims in 77 days. On two of three days he did not make false claims, he played golf. - Glenn Kessler, Washington Post Fact Checker





Biz/Tech News


Trump Said: Beautiful babies were murdered-No child of God should suffer such horror. 

Trump Meant: Get The Oil. - Fiona Adorno







Whew. The Military Industrial Complex Is Safe.
Raytheon stock surged Friday morning, after 59 of the company's Tomahawk missiles were used to strike Syria in Donald Trump's first major military operation as President.





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Odd News





Time To Deflate Photo

A Mongolian Ibex. Here's looking at you, kid.

Best Wishes for a Peaceful Weekend, World.