All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Day 28 of the Trump Coup D'Etat

‘I’m Not Going to Tell You Anything’: Trump Refuses to Provide Response to Recent Russian Aggression
During today’s combative press conference in which President Donald Trump announced his new Labor Secretary nominee, the president refused to answer a reporter’s question on how he would respond to recent aggressions by Russia.

My gawd, I suffered through watching Trump's press conference. Is he on drugs? He skipped from one subject to another, was highly defensive and rambled on. He talked more about Hillary than anything else. What's next, him sputtering "Neener neener neener at Hillary?"

"I get great ratings, nuclear war is bad, Hillary is awful, and news is fake if they report on real leaks!"
#TrumpPressConference, abridged - Erik Bransteen

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump is to the presidency as a redneck saying "hey, watch this!" is to fireworks safety. - Jeff Tiedrich

Trump's Defense Secy Thinks The Russians Interfered With The Election
Defense Secretary James Mattis on Thursday said that there was "very little doubt" Russia has attempted to interfere in democratic elections in the past.

By telling Israel/Palestine "you guys fix up a peace plan & I'll sign off" Donald Trump is now the architect of the Too Stupid Solution. - John Fugelsang

Trump's New TV Reality Show: US Boots On The Ground In Syria
The Defense Department might propose that the US send conventional ground combat forces into northern Syria for the first time to speed up the fight against ISIS, CNN has learned.

Pentagon considering sending combat forces into Syria to distract from whatever it is Trump f**ked up today. - Tea Party Cat

Republican Shenanigans

Trump reminds you that he strongly supports torture to get people to tell the truth.
Unless we're talking about Michael Flynn. - John Fugelsang

Fox Fake News Faked Documents To Shareholders
Fox News may be under investigation for possible securities related violations for not disclosing settlements to shareholders that were reached in connection with sexual harassment claims made against Roger Ailes.

The GOP is concerned about crime. So they're deporting people who want to pay taxes & making it easier for mentally ill people to get guns.- LOLGOP

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Through Trump, Putin is probing the patriotism and will of Congressional Republicans. So far he loves what he sees. - Peter Daou

Rock The Voter News

Once upon a time, the GOP investigated Bill Clinton's use of the White House Christmas card list. This warranted 140 hours of testimony.- Kara Calavera

Hillary is the blonde head in the middle of the crowd, sitting down.

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http://www.wattensawpress.com/

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Biz/Tech News

Just ask Paul Ryan: "If an illegal deal with a foreign power made it possible to cut rich people's taxes, you'd be cool with that, right?"- LOLGOP

Trump Is A Sneaky Bastard
A new report suggests that privately, President Donald Trump was stirring the pot with aerospace giants a few days before his inauguration. On Thursday, Bloomberg reported that Trump cold called the Air Force general managing the F-35 jet project, the Pentagon’s largest weapons program and part of a contract with Lockheed Martin, on two separate occasions. Where this becomes newsworthy is that the Dennis Muilenburg, the CEO of Boeing, Lockheed’s rival, was in the room and listening in during one of the two calls.

Surgically Altered Obama Doubles Struggling To Find Work After Presidency. - The Onion

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Forget About The Fundraiser - Take Your Children And Run Like Capt'n Jack Sparrow!

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

The plot thickens

Trump aides were in constant touch with senior Russian officials during campaign
High-level advisers close to then-presidential nominee Donald Trump were in constant communication during the campaign with Russians known to US intelligence, multiple current and former intelligence, law enforcement and administration officials tell CNN.

Maybe Trump would be more tuned into national security briefings if they were given by Hooters waitresses. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, PEOPLE. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The real question should be "Does anyone in the Trump administration have ties to America?" - Tea Party Cat

Details: SSV-175 Viktor Leonov is outfitted with spying equipment to intercept intelligence signals. It's 30 miles off Connecticut coast. - Kurt Eichenwald

Comey, Commie, The Similarities Are Striking, Aren't They?
The spotlight is back on FBI Director James Comey thanks to Michael Flynn’s resignation as national security adviser.
Comey, whom Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s campaign blamed for her loss in last year’s presidential election, is now reportedly presiding over an investigation that appears to have implicated one of President Trump’s top aides.

The best way to stop the NSA & FBI from leaking info about treasonous activities?
Don't engage in treasonous activities.
#BenedictDonald - Erik Bransteen

Republican Shenanigans

Call me crazy but I think possible treason should be investigated as thoroughly as a president {having an affair}. - Desijed

Of Course McConnell Approves of Trump. Trump Nominated His Wife For Transportation Secy.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) says he approves of President Trump’s overall job performance so far.

Trump's Team Are Rank Amateurs
The former campaign manager for President Donald Trump’s White House bid has told prospective lobbying clients that he has access to Trump’s Twitter account, four sources told BuzzFeed News.

Pissing off the CIA is like pissing off your waiter. They have countless ways of exacting horrific revenge. - goldengateblond

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Rock The Voter News

Flynn's ties to Putin are shady, but Jill Stein's should be checked out too. She undermined Clinton (thus helping Trump) as much as anyone. - goldengateblond

Trump Chooses His Messengers And It's Not CNN
CNN's Jim Acosta said Wednesday that President Trump only called on conservative news outlets during his joint news conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu because "the fix is in" on which outlets get to ask questions.
"You have a White House now that is in crisis," said CNN host John King following coverage of the news conference.

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By 2037, an estimated 47% of jobs currently done by humans will be performed by machines. - The Economist

Biz/Tech News

At an international tennis match, U.S. officials accidentally played the Nazi national anthem. White House adviser Steve Bannon was outraged and said, “We’re not rolling that out till August — c’mon!”- Conan O'Brien

Irony: Republican Richard Nixon Started The EPA And Now A Florida Republican Jackass Wants To Shut It Down
The freshman congressman from Florida who aims to eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency has finally released text of the agency-killing bill — and it tops out at just more than 40 words.

The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers having dreadlocks. This is good news for the Army’s elite Hacky Sack Corps.- Conan O'Brien

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The psychiatrist's bills are mounting!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy Valentine's Day From Vladimir

GOP senator calls for exhaustive investigation into Trump-Russia connections
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) on Tuesday said there should be an exhaustive investigation into the ties between Russia and the Trump administration.
"I think everybody needs that investigation to happen," Blunt told KTRS radio, CNN reported.

I've decided that the correct term for removing a President and Vice President simultaneously is "twinpeachment." - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

3 top members of Trump's team have resigned over ties to Russia. Another dozen or so and Republicans are gonna start askin' questions.- Tea Pain

Putin Has An Itchy Trigger Finger
Russia has secretly deployed a new cruise missile despite complaints from American officials that it violates a landmark arms control treaty that helped seal the end of the Cold War, administration officials say.

Putin Starting to Wonder if His Puppets are Smart Enough to Pull This Off. - Andy Borowitz

Hedge Your Bets
There’s already talk of impeachment, just three weeks into Donald Trump’s turbulent presidency. In fact, many are already betting on it.
Gambling houses all over the world are taking in action on whether Trump, inaugurated just last month, will resign or be impeached. And the odds aren’t as long as you might think.

This Is Just Crazy Allowing Guns To Be Purchased By The Mentally Ill
The Republican-led Senate is moving to block an Obama-era regulation that would prevent an estimated 75,000 people with mental disorders from being able to purchase a firearm.

Republican Shenanigans

Sending Trudeau to stand attractively next to Trump while speaking French is actually the closest thing Canada has to saying “f**k you.”- Samantha Bee

Sarah Palin Must Be Very Unhappy
According to a report, President Donald Trump promised his Canadian counterpart Monday that former Republican Alaska Governor Sarah Palin would not be named ambassador to Canada. “A Trudeau government official says that assurance was provided

That's it! We're gonna have to limit the Trump administration to only 3 new scandals per day.- Tea Pain

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Rock The Voter News

So When Will Ivanka Declare Bankruptcy?
Ivanka Trump products have disappeared from the website of Burlington Coat Factory, a South Jersey-based retailer facing calls for a boycott from critics of President Donald Trump.

A snowstorm in the Northeast today caused many schools in the area to close. Said Betsy DeVos, “What? The school closures weren’t supposed to start yet.”- Seth Myers

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Biz/Tech News

Nordstrom’s stock went up after President Trump attacked them on Twitter for dropping Ivanka’s clothing line. Then RadioShack said, “Would you mind attacking us?”- Jimmy Fallon

Celebrity WWF Co-Founder To Run SBA
The Senate on Tuesday confirmed former wrestling entertainment executive Linda McMahon to lead the Small Business Administration. The vote was 81-19.

The Baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a flight. Finally combining the two things Americans love most — waiting in airports and exercise.- Jimmy Fallon

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The All Hat No Cattle "I'm Sure Trump Is Going To Blow Us To Smithereens" Fundraiser

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Day 28 of the Trump Coup D'Etat

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

The plot thickens

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy Valentine's Day From Vladimir

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