Thursday, February 2, 2017

Crocodile Dundee Gives Trump A Trim

Trump had heated exchange with Australian PM, talked 'tough hombres' with Mexican leader
Donald Trump's roller coaster ride toward diplomacy continued late Wednesday night with a tweet calling an Obama-era agreement with Australia to accept refugees a "dumb deal."


Raise your hand if you think the email lady would have threatened war with Mexico and hung up on Australia ten days into her presidency. - Jeff Tiedrich






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


If you're still trying to convince yourself that a 21st century coup is not underway, please, please snap out of it. - Michael Moore






Trump Threatens Berkeley
President Trump threatened Thursday to withhold federal funds from University of California at Berkeley for canceling a speech by Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos after violence broke out.






Reports of Trump hanging up on the Australian Prime Minister make me wonder how Melania's anti-bullying campaign is going.- Andy Borowitz






Republican Shenanigans



Every new thing Trump does makes me think his penis must be even smaller than I previously thought.- Andy Borowitz



So, Who Is Going To Check Foreign Visitor's Social Media Pages? The TSA?
President Donald Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, appears to be consolidating power within the White House — and his machinations are alarming former officials who have worked there.
The former Breitbart News chief and Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner have set up an internal think tank called the Strategic Initiatives Group that’s reportedly behind a proposal to force overseas visitors to reveal their social media contacts before entering the U.S.







The only reason anyone has to "play The Race Card" is 400 years of an extremely stacked deck. - John Fugelsang




Republicans Threaten Fellow Republican
A Republican lawmaker in deep-blue Hawaii is considering switching parties to become a Democrat after she was pressured to give up her leadership role for criticizing President Donald Trump.










So glad that Donald J. Trump is finally standing up to America's longtime arch-enemies, Mexico and Australia. - Andy Borowitz




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Rock The Voter News







I'd like to remind the rest of the world that more than half of you still haven't been threatened or insulted by our new POTUS so calm down. - John Fugelsang



Twitter Must Feel Guilty Not Shutting Down Trump's Account
Twitter will donate $1.59 million to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) in response to President Trump’s immigration order.






Jeff Sessions is so dangerous that a Republican-controlled Senate rejected his nomination to a federal judgeship 30 years ago. - Elizabeth Warren

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Trump and his mother obviously used  the same hair stylist.


Biz/Tech News


I understand Trump is now calling for a wall with Australia. - John Aravosis








Trump Tax Plans To Raise Costs For Everyone
Wal-Mart shoppers aren't the only ones who could suffer under a tax plan that President Donald Trump is warming up to -- U.S. investors who trade on the London Stock Exchange, the Deutsche Boerse and Euronext might also take a hit.




Thirty-one pounds of cocaine have been found hidden in the nose of an American Airlines jet. Authorities became suspicious when the plane flew from Miami to New York in 16 minutes. - Conan O'Brien




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All Hat No Cattle "I'M TERRIFIED OF TRUMP" Fundraiser







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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

The Sart Canal Bridge, Belgium. I see Belgium maintains their infrastructure quite well.

Peace.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Trump vs CNN escalates

White House ices out CNN
The White House has refused to send its spokespeople or surrogates onto CNN shows, effectively icing out the network from on-air administration voices.



The new official language of the United States is Bullsh*t.- Jon Stewart







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


“Sally Yates was hatching a covert plot to require my actions to be in accordance with the Constitution,” Donald J. Trump said. “We caught her red-handed.” - Andy Borowitz



Retired General Warns Of Doom
Retired Gen. David Petraeus warned lawmakers on Wednesday that the world order created in part by the United States in the 20th century is under “unprecedented threat from multiple directions,” pointing to Russia, China, Islamist extremists and cyber threats.






FACTCHECK: Donald J. Trump claimed that only 109 people were denied entry under the Muslim ban. In reality, 721 were denied entry. 109 is the number of impeachable offenses Trump has committed so far. #actualfact - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans



People who wanna do nothing about a gun culture that killed 280k in last 10yrs demand we do something about refugees who've killed 0 in last 10yrs.- John Fugelsang






Supreme Court appointments give us the chance to pause and reflect on how progressives who don't vote or vote 3rd party are a**holes. - Frank Conniff






It Costs A Million Dollars A Day To Protect The NYC Trump Tower. Move To DC Melania, They Have Great Private Schools.
First lady Melania Trump may not move to the White House at any point, Us Weekly reported Wednesday.
"They will reevaluate toward the end of the school year if they will keep this arrangement or if Melania and Barron will move to Washington," a family insider told the publication.





Why aren't Melania and her son thrilled to be living in the White House? Something smells.







Centers for Disease Control Unable to Stop Spread of Steve Bannon. - Andy Borowitz



UnChristlike Christian To Destroy Our Colleges And Universities
Jerry Falwell Jr., an evangelical leader and president of Liberty University, has accepted a role leading the Trump administration's higher education task force, the Chronicle on Higher Education and NBC News reported Tuesday night.
Falwell told the Chronicle that in the role, he will target "overreaching regulation" of colleges and universities, like rules on accreditation.







Trump's Education Secretary pick Betsy DeVos is crucial to Republicans' hopes of keeping America stupid. - Andy Borowitz





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Rock The Voter News


Donald J. Trump's Supreme Court nominee Gorsuch, an opponent of abortion and supporter of guns, manages the neat trick of being both pro-life and pro-death. - Andy Borowitz






Hillary Is Busy As Usual
Hillary Clinton has a lot of plans for 2017, including some reflections on her stunning loss to Donald Trump.
The former secretary of state, senator and first lady is working on a collection of personal essays that will touch on the 2016 presidential campaign...



Breaking: White House announces Black History Month will now just be called "History Month" stating "Lots of other people have history too." - OhNoSheTwitnt




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Biz/Tech News








Begone EPA. Begone!
A House Republican is working on legislation that if passed would completely abolish the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).








My favorite Bible story is when Jesus feeds the multitudes after administering a drug test to make sure they deserve food.- John Fugelsang






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All Hat No Cattle "Terrified Of Trump" Fundraiser




Thank you!

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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

Antelope Canyon, Arizona. That's not me topless on the kayak.

Peace.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

If Jesus Returned He Couldn't Get A Visa To The U.S.

Trump fires acting AG after she declines to defend travel ban
President Donald Trump fired acting Attorney General Sally Yates Monday night for "refusing ...



"How come she's allowed to leave?"
-- Melania hearing the news about Sally Yates - Andy Borowitz




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


 As a Muslim asked to condemn Muslim extremists for 16 years, I call on moderate Republicans to condemn Alt-Right and Steve #Bannon. Step up. - Wajahat Ali





Trump Baited The Jews 
The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum released a statement Monday afternoon shortly after White House press secretary Sean Spicer defended the fact that President Trump’s International Holocaust Remembrance Day statement did not mention Jews or anti-Semitism.


Can't wait for the birther to give me more lessons on how the president of the United States should be treated.- LOLGOP





Turns out the Constitution was just a silly phase the Tea Party was going through.  They are soooo over that now. - Tea Pain


Republican Shenanigans


I think every morning Trump signs a few blank executive orders, then tells Bannon to fill it in with any evil sh*t he thought of that day.- Erik Bransteen







It May Be Easier To Just Believe The Opposite Of What Trump Says
The White House says the new administration has no interest in rolling back protections of LGBTQ workers. “President Donald J. Trump is determined to protect the rights of all Americans, including the LGBTQ community,” said a White House statement ...





Trump is so 100% pro #LGBTQ rights he's appointed Jeff Sessions, Rick Perry, Mike Pence & others who happen to be 100% anti #LGBTQ rights. - John Fugelsang





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Rock The Voter News



Trump Tweets More Insults
"Nancy Pelosi and Fake Tears Chuck Schumer held a rally at the steps of The Supreme Court and mic did not work (a mess)-just like Dem party!" Trump tweeted, referring to the top Democrats in Congress, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer.







Trump can mock @SenSchumer's tears, but give me a man who cries at the violation of our values over one who smiles while obliterating them. - Peter Daou





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Biz/Tech News


"You get a green card! You get a green card! You get a green card!"
-- the end of Oprah's first 60 Minutes interview with Syrian refugees. - Erik Bransteen







Trump Targets Germany
German Chancellor Angela Merkel rejected an accusation from U.S. President Donald Trump's top trade adviser that Germany is bolstering its exports with a “grossly undervalued” euro in a growing trans-Atlantic spat.



“I receive forgiveness when I get my little cracker and the juice”
-Donald Trump, Messiah to Christians who can't quite spell "Messiah." - John Fugelsang







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All Hat No Cattle Anti-Trump Fundraiser






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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

I always wondered what flamingos did underwater. They rub their heads in the sand to stir up any critters for a snack.

Peace.