All Hat No Cattle

Friday, October 28, 2016

What, did George Zimmerman's jury make an appearance in Oregon?

Juror explains Bundy acquittals: Arrogant prosecutors failed to prove armed takeover was conspiracy
One of the jurors who acquitted seven armed militants who took over an Oregon nature preserve said they were aware their verdict might embolden other anti-government activists — but he said that didn’t matter.

See, kids, a peaceful black protester is called a thug and the collective noun for a group of violent armed white men is called a militia. - OhNoSheTwitnt Tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

"Cancel the election & give it to me."
"Throw my opponent in jail."
Trump isn't friends with Vladimir Putin, he IS Vladimir Putin. - Erik Bransteen

War On Transgender Bathrooms
The Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case challenging a Virginia school’s refusal to let a transgender student use the boys’ bathroom.

Trump calls a mic in the Access Hollywood bus "illegal" while he quotes emails stolen by the Russian government to influence our elections. - Tea Pain Tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Can you imagine what comments about Trump exist in his staffers' and surrogates' emails? - Josh Barro

Trump Won't Pour Money Into A Bad Investment
Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on Friday gave his campaign $10 million, according to reports, shortly after announcing he would do so but demurring on whether he would live up to his promise to spend $100 million of his own money on the election.

Trump supporters: Death penalty and war are great, and I believe everyone deserves easy access to assault weapons... But abortion is murder.- Tim Hess

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No Words Needed.

HILLARY EMAIL UPDATE: Ewww, Anthony Weiner's Emails?
Federal law enforcement officials said Friday that the new emails uncovered in the closed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server were discovered after the F.B.I. seized electronic devices belonging to Huma Abedin, a top aide to Mrs. Clinton, and her husband, Anthony Weiner.

Friday Dump On Trump
Donald Trump just can’t help himself when it comes to publicly humiliating Miss Universe winners.
The Huffington Post has posted a new video showing Trump telling an audience of how he planned to humiliate former Miss Universe winner Jennifer Hawkins after he thought she had slighted him.

Rock The Voter News

So James Comey doesn’t know the timing or significance of his vague review? Bet he knows the significance of the timing of his vague letter!-Mrs. Betty Bowers

The Neverending Email Investigation That Will End In The Year 2255
The FBI is telling Congress it is investigating whether new emails that may contain classified information have emerged in its probe of Hillary Clinton’s private server. The FBI said in July its investigation was finished.

It's bad enough having the media do the "raises questions," substance-free innuendo thing. Worse when the FBI director does it. Disgraceful. - Paul Krugman

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This election! I mean...what the living f@&k!! Forget "West Wing". "House Of Cards" seems subtle and authentic compared to this sh@t show.- Rob Lowe

Biz/Tech News

Is Trump Embracing Obama's Shovel Ready Jobs?
Donald Trump's economic advisers have embraced a modified version of a theory some liberal economists have been pushing for years: that at a time of very low interest rates, increased federal spending on roads and bridges would actually pay for itself.

It was announced that Shaquille O’Neal is now the owner of a Krispy Kreme Doughnuts franchise in downtown Atlanta. They serve all kinds of doughnuts, or as Shaq calls them, “frosted Cheerios.”- Jimmy Fallon

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Thursday, October 27, 2016

Unleashing A Twitter War?

James O’Keefe hypes up ‘literal revolt’ of infuriated internet users if Trump loses
Right-wing video ambush artist James O’Keefe predicts that there will be a “revolt” if Donald Trump ends up losing the election — but it won’t be the kind that involves pitchforks and torches.

Trump supporters say they'll resort to "torches & pitchforks" if they lose. That's the highest level of technology they're comfortable with. - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

"Julian Assange, he openly works with [Russia]. It’s not a secret." — Nadya Tolokonnikova

Poles Are Nervous About Russia
Poland scrapped compulsory military service in 2008. Less than a decade later, some now question the wisdom of that move.
Russia is throwing its weight around eastern Europe, stocking up its isolated Baltic exclave of Kaliningrad with far more armaments than its neighbor feels comfortable with.

Donald Trump today criticized some of his Republican primary opponents for refusing to endorse him, saying, quote, “I don’t know how they live with themselves.” Said his opponents, “We don’t. We live with our wives.”-Seth Myers

Republican Shenanigans

"This is a guy who is, what, on his third marriage, cheated on his first two wives, and was having an affair while he was impeaching Bill Clinton." - Anderson Cooper commenting on Newt Gingrich

Yep, They're Will Be Lots Of Lock And Loading Going On
Only 35 percent of those who support Donald Trump say will most likely accept the election results if Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton wins the White House, according to a new AP-Gfk poll.

Donald Trump’s running mate, Mike Pence, threw a baseball to reporters today with a note saying that he’s rooting for the Cubs. And then the reporters turned the ball over and the other side said, “Help!”- Jimmy Fallon

Analysts are speculating that communication between Donald Trump and his campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, has become practically nonexistent. They say if she spoke to Trump any less, they’d be married.- Conan O'Brien

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With all the talk of populism this year, I'm starting a new movement: elitism. It's based on a simple premise: I want to elect a President who's smarter than I am.- Andy Borowitz

Jill Stein & Her Investments
Jill Stein is heavily invested in the industries she attacks on the campaign trail, including Big Pharma, defense contractors and oil companies.

From the Yale Record (America's oldest college humor magazine)

Rock The Voter News

Michelle Obama makes me even prouder to be an American than Donald Trump makes me ashamed of being one. - OhNoSheTwitnt

DNC Goes After Trump In Court
The Democratic National Committee on Wednesday asked a U.S. judge to hold the Republican National Committee in contempt of court over allegations that Donald Trump encouraged his supporters to intimidate minority voters.

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The government just announced that next year [Obamacare] premiums are going up by 25 percent. I haven’t seen Obama hike something so high since he stopped wearing mom jeans.- Stephen Colbert

Biz/Tech News

So, Russia Didn't Hack US Sites Last Week? Who Then?
The giant cyber attack that paralyzed many US sites last week was likely not the work of a foreign country, the top US intelligence chief said...

The Vatican has issued new guidelines on cremation, saying Catholics must bury the ashes in a cemetery. Which is too bad, because I wanted my ashes to be a secret ingredient on the show “Chopped.”- Conan O'Brien

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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

WW111?

Trump warns of World War III if Clinton is elected
Donald Trump warned in an interview Tuesday that Hillary Clinton's policies as president to address the Syrian conflict would lead to World War III, arguing the Democratic nominee would draw the US into armed confrontation with Russia, Syria and Iran.

ALERT: Only 14 days left until the single greatest moment of schadenfreude this country has ever seen.- Tea Party Cat

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

A Trump voter complains about payin' taxes, but flings their rent money at a billionaire that promises they can be mean to Mexicans.- Tea Pain

Meanwhile, Serious Build-Up Of NATO
Britain said on Wednesday it will send fighter jets to Romania next year and the United States promised troops, tanks and artillery to Poland in NATO's biggest military build-up on Russia's borders since the Cold War.

Republican War On Women Going Swimmingly
Sometimes folks on television break away from their carefully cultivated images to reveal themselves as far less appealing than they might care to appear. That’s what happened to Newt Gingrich Tuesday night on The Kelly File. Host Megyn Kelly announced the segment as a discussion about polls indicating the Democrats may pick up some congressional seats. It ended with Kelly suggesting to an overheated Gingrich that he “take [his] anger issues and spend some time working on them.” Whew.

Calling Newt Gingrich an "adulterer" is like calling Gordie Howe "an ice skater." - LOLGOP

Republican Shenanigans

You have Giuliani doing outreach to blacks, Gingrich to women & Trump himself to Latinos. What could go wrong? - Jeet Heer Tweet

Rat In The Hat
According to the Federal Election Commission filings, Donald Trump's presidential campaign has spent $1.8 million on polling from June 2015 through September of this year (the most recent month for which data are available). The report also lists $3.2 million spent on hats.

Trump has received his first and only endorsement from a major newspaper — the Las Vegas Review-Journal said that Trump does not represent the danger his critics claim. Which is not exactly a ringing endorsement. That's like a restaurant review that says this place probably won't even give you food poisoning.- James Corden

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I am going to miss President Barack Hussein Obama

CNN is reporting that Clinton "may have gone to Cubs games with her father as a kid, but after leaving Illinois, and around the same time she ran for Senate in New York, the former first lady touted her love for the New York Yankees." How convenient. As a 10-year-old she wears a Cubs hat. A mere 40 years later, she's in a Yankees hat. Is there no hat she won't wear? (shows fake photo of Hillary in "Make America Great Again" cap] OK, there's one hat.- Stephen Colbert

Federal Court Says No To Obama
Another federal court in northern Texas has issued a nationwide injunction barring the Obama administration from enforcing Education Department guidance requiring schools to allow transgender students to use bathroom and changing facilities...

Rock The Voter News

Donald Trump said at a rally this weekend that Hillary Clinton was exhausted and weak after the debates. Yeah, probably because you kept sniffing all the oxygen out of the room.- Seth Myers

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Biz/Tech News

Trump Campaigns At His Hotel Opening
Donald Trump seized the occasion of his Washington hotel's grand opening to use his résumé as a real estate mogul as a metaphor for his promises as a presidential candidate to rebuild America.

This is probably the most humiliating thing the Trumps have done to the Republican Party. Down eight points and they do a hotel infomercial. - Ryan Lizza Tweet

I want to say congratulations to the Chicago Cubs and the Cleveland Indians, who are set to play each other in the World Series! Or as voters put it, “Finally – a crazy match-up we can actually ENJOY!”- Jimmy Fallon

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